Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids

[Feberin]

Anyone read this book?

http://www.amazon.com/Selfish-Reasons-H ... 914&sr=1-1

I'm reading it right now and it's intersting and funny in some parts but I'm not really getting the whole idea that it's best for everyone to have more kids. I know he points to social security and mentions a bunch of studies saying there aren't negative effects and you'll want more kids at 60 but I just don't get why people should have more kids. I think the adoption and twin studies are interesting and agree that the "overparenting" isn't necessary but even the studies say that it matters short term. For me having a one year old the short term is important. I want my son to eat healthy now so we feed him healthy foods. Perhaps he won't when he's an adult but not having to argue with my school age child about every veggie matters to me.

[tabitha2]

From LIAS.At least she doesn't pull punches :)

100+ Reasons to Have Children

Have a happier marriage.

Pay less income taxes.

Learn to share, and like it.

The ultimate diet plan: morning sickness and breastfeeding.

Enjoy snuggles on demand, around the clock.

Cuteness abounds.

Disposable diapers. There. I said it.

Receive preferential treatment in grocery lines.

Be seated first (or last, if you prefer) on planes.

Park in the "stork" space at grocery stores.

Have an excuse to buy cool toys and cute little outfits.

Children will love you on your worst day, and...

they think you're beautiful, even on bad hair days,

or when you're not wearing makeup.

Free entertainment: kids are hilarious.

Laughter is good for your health. See above.

Have family still living when you're old.

Have someone to help you when you're old.

Grandkids!

Have someone to help care for your pets.

But who needs pets? Kids are way cuter, and they last longer.

Unlike pets, kids eventually learn to take care of their own poop.

Get a lollipop every time you go to the bank, along with your children.

Tone your arms the old-fashioned way: tote a toddler.

Kids eat free at many restaurants.

Have an excuse to buy junk food.

Sharing your junk food means less stays on your own hips.

Children will eat and appreciate your failed cooking experiments.

Embarrass your kids. You won't believe how fun it is. Displays of affection with your spouse work well for this.

Be better able to encourage other parents during rough times with their children because you've been-there-done-that.

Blow bubbles.

Give your friends somewhere to send their kids' hand-me-downs.

Burn calories: play with your kids.

Kids will help hone your reactions with obstacle courses on the stairs.

Save money by not buying birth control.

Have s*x without worrying about pregnancy. It's fun.

Ask anyone who has given birth: the pains of labor are worth it.

Pregnancy reduces menstrual cramps in subsequent periods.

Pregnancy lowers your risk of ovarian cancer.

Breastfeeding lowers your risk of breast cancer,

and uterine cancer,

and osteoporosis.

Not using birth control lowers your risk of ectopic pregnancy.

Think pregnancy dooms you to getting fat? Take a look at my mom with her 14 kids. Can you even tell which one she is?

Pregnancy requires you to eat more. I can appreciate that.

Be motivated to be a better person. Little eyes are watching.

Help raise the languishing birth rate.

Learn alongside your children.

Read books you never would have discovered on your own.

Reread your childhood favorites with and to a new generation.

See the world through new, unjaded eyes.

See yourself through your baby's eyes. It's amazing.

See yourself through your children's eyes. You'll never be the same again.

See your flaws reflected in your children. It's enlightening and humbling.

Kids will make you proud and keep you humble.

If you make a mess while eating, everyone will assume the kids did it.

Kid will say what you wish you could say, but can't.

Strengthen your relationship with your own parents by becoming a parent yourself.

Stay physically active. It's much harder to be lazy when little ones depend on you.

Improved immune system. It's a law of nature: Moms never get sick.

If you do get sick, you have someone to take care of you without your spouse taking time off work.

Baby smiles.

Carrying a baby? Strangers will smile at you.

Babies are also a great conversation starter.

Learn to delight in everyday occurrences.

Translate toddler gibberish with ease for puzzled onlookers.

Your own love for your child gives you a small taste of how much God loves His children.

Live vicariously: remember that toy you never got as a child, but you're too old to want it now? Let your kids try it out.

Relive your childhood: remember the toy you did get as a child? Let your kids try it out.

Rediscover the joy of crayons.

Job security: moms have it.

Learn and believe that happiness really doesn't come from material wealth...

...yet be amazed at how much joy you can buy your child with a quarter.

Kids are cheap.

Marvel that 2 people can produce children that are better-looking than either parent. Heredity is a strange and wonderful thing.

Be welcomed home like a returning war hero every time you go grocery shopping or to the post office.

Be looked at like this:

Soft little fingers and toes. They're cute on other people's children, but utterly priceless on your own children.

The unbearable cuteness of newborn-size diapers. (credit: Deanna)

Discover your super powers: make milk, and heal mortal wounds with a kiss.

Ask any parent you know if they regret having kids.

Learn to appreciate simple pleasures: ice cream cones, a single M&M, homemade cookies.

Do you love your spouse? Experience a miracle: a new person who looks like both of you.

After 10 years of children, washing dishes becomes optional. (credit: Deanna)

Get special treatment on Mother's Day.

Breakfast in bed is fun, even when it's cheerios and multi vitamins. (credit: Becca)

Experience the triumph of potty training.

Have the advantage of a youthful memory again: have your kids remind you about important things. (credit: Megan)

Expand your wardrobe: share clothes with your teens.

Gather candy from the piñata without getting funny looks.

Have help cooking.

Be a safer driver,

In a safer vehicle.

Free or cheap manicures and pedicures. I pay a dollar.

Ditto for back/shoulder rubs.

Perpetually late? You don't even have to blame it on the kids. People will assume.

Vanity? You'll look at your baby in the mirror instead of yourself.

Paint your kids' nails in a color you like but could never wear yourself.

Have your bed made for $.25/day. Maid service has never been so cheap or cheerful, and there's no need to report payments to the IRS.

If you've never had a baby fall asleep on your chest, you just don't know what you're missing.

Homemade friends. My children are some of my favorite companions.

Kids with money ROCK! They buy their own clothes, treat you to Starbucks, and buy you unbelievable birthday/Christmas gifts.

World domination through militant fecundity! [maniacal laughter]

Children are part of God's purpose for creating marriage:But did He not make them one,

Having a remnant of the Spirit?

And why one?

He seeks godly offspring. Malachi 2:15

Want to see another list, more thoughtful and eloquent than mine? 40 Reasons to Have Kids

[sableduck]

Most of the book centered on how it really doesn't matter what you do as a parent, your child will turn out the way he or she is going to turn out regardless. He based this on the remarkable similarities found in twin studies.

I found it all less than convincing, honestly. I would love more children, hope and pray every day we will have more children, but I really did not find his arguments compelling.

[Freyacat]

Yeah... part of his reasoning is "Well, genetics means your kids will turn out just like you - you turned out just like your parents!" I call BS on that. Lots of people have basically nothing in common with their parents.

[O Latin]

Yeah... part of his reasoning is "Well, genetics means your kids will turn out just like you - you turned out just like your parents!" I call BS on that. Lots of people have basically nothing in common with their parents.

So you should want to have kids so that there will soon be a bunch of people just like you running around? Narcissistic much?

[Freyacat]

Oh, also at one point he says everyone should have a nanny, even if her English isn't perfect, so they can get a breather. Because, y'know, poorly paid immigrants only exist to make life easy for white yuppies who can afford a nanny. No mention of what the nanny is supposed to do with her own kids.

[Guest Anonymous]

Oh, also at one point he says everyone should have a nanny, even if her English isn't perfect, so they can get a breather. Because, y'know, poorly paid immigrants only exist to make life easy for white yuppies who can afford a nanny. No mention of what the nanny is supposed to do with her own kids.

Probably consign them to the prayer closet.

[Feberin]

Oh, also at one point he says everyone should have a nanny, even if her English isn't perfect, so they can get a breather. Because, y'know, poorly paid immigrants only exist to make life easy for white yuppies who can afford a nanny. No mention of what the nanny is supposed to do with her own kids.

That's the other thing that bugged me. "___ percentage of America earns over _____ amount therefore parents can afford _____ but choose not to". Just because a certain percentage of Americans make a lot of money doesn't mean we all can afford nannies and regular babysitters. I love having date nights with my husband but we limit them to when we can get a family member to watch our son (we try to get out about once a month and alternate with both sets of grandparents and sometimes other family members who have offered their services) because paying $10 an hour for babysitting is just too much for us. Anyways our son goes to bed at 8 PM so we get a good amount of couple time every night.

[camdendayton]

So you should want to have kids so that there will soon be a bunch of people just like you running around? Narcissistic much?

Yes!

[NASDAQ]

I've listened to a few interviews with him.

He's not speaking to people who just don't want more kids. He's speaking to people who would want another child, but aren't sure that they can handle it.

The twin studies don't suggest "you'll turn out just like your parents." What they suggest is that within the broad bounds of standard western parenting, how we are brought up has almost no bearing on any measurable characteristic in our adulthood.

Identical twins are roughly 50% alike. But they are that alike _whether or not they are raised in the same household_. Your kids may turn out like you, or not turn out like you, but who they are is 50% set and 50% outside of your control. So you might as well not sweat whether you read the correct number of books to them, or enrol them in soccer, or let them play only with rough-hewn wooden Waldorf toys.

I think he's speaking to a particular audience. It's hard to understand outside of that competitive parenting milieu (which exists both in QF and in bog-standard parenting), but it's easy to get the feeling that one _must_ raise a child in a certain way or else the child will grow up and be a miserable illiterate failure with psychological problems, justly blaming his parents. On the other hand, doing everything right isn't going to get you a g-d-fearing well-adjusted Einstein. These things are almost entirely outside of our control.

[dormouse]

Job security: moms have it.

Really? What if your husband passes away, becomes disabled, or leaves you? You'll be doing your mom job in addition to doing 3 jobs waiting tables and cleaning houses because, having always been a stay-at-home mother, you have no other marketable skills.

[Feberin]

Job security: moms have it.

Really? What if your husband passes away, becomes disabled, or leaves you? You'll be doing your mom job in addition to doing 3 jobs waiting tables and cleaning houses because, having always been a stay-at-home mother, you have no other marketable skills.

Yeah I didn't get that one. What job security does a mother have even if your husband is alive most families need a dual income. And eventually your children will grow up. It's kind of silly being a SAHM when your kids are in college.

[The Archivist]

So you should want to have kids so that there will soon be a bunch of people just like you running around? Narcissistic much?

Isn't this the entirely underlying philosophy of the QF movement?

AWWW YEEEEAH, I SAID IT