Josh, Anna, and M'kids part 18: The Prodigal Son Returneth

[Pecansforeveryone]

I put on 40+ pounds after breaking my ankle. Prior to that, my weight fluctuated maybe 15 pounds or so. I just didn't get what it meant to put on a sizeable amount of weight prior to that. I have never been pregnant so I can only imagine how one pregnancy, let alone five changes your body. @Kittikatz, is also very correct about weight distribution. I gain weight heavily in my hips, but, and thighs. My best friend gains it more in her chest and a lot more in her mid-section. She has never been pregnant either. I know we are different and better than Anna's cult about putting unrealistic body standards on her. 

[clueliss]

Can we please not jump to speculation about women being pregnant based on how they look in photos or videos.  It is revolting and if you are wrong then you are fat-shaming someone.  I have body image issues and find myself reading this stuff wondering what you would have said of me (never married, never pregnant) at any age based on where I carry weight.  

[AtlanticTug]

3 hours ago, viii said:

I'm starting to believe that Henry wasn't planned, and that Jessa didn't want/doesn't want a bunch of children close together. I'm starting to think we won't get an announcement from her until later next year. (Watch, she'll announce tomorrow now because I said that!)

I have a very close girlfriend who was like this - second child 14 months after first, a real surprise as it took them a while to conceive #1. They wanted to have 4 kids but she couldn't handle more in such a short time span so they took off almost 4 years, worked, bought up a larger house, etc and then she had another 2 kids very close together (18 months difference). She said she felt like she had 2 sets of kids and that made it easier to handle as well as they made up two different play groups.

[AussieKrissy]

3 hours ago, clueliss said:

Can we please not jump to speculation about women being pregnant based on how they look in photos or videos.  It is revolting and if you are wrong then you are fat-shaming someone.  I have body image issues and find myself reading this stuff wondering what you would have said of me (never married, never pregnant) at any age based on where I carry weight.  

I get all that and no other group of women in the world do I guess about pregnancies based on body shape. Not everyone in the world promotes, advocates and actively works towards unending fertility.  Fundies do. Would I ask them in person if I saw them? No. Would I ask them on social media? NO But would I think it in my head? Hell yeah. Do I feel guilt in speculating on a snark forum? No.

I am fat, I look pregnant. If people think it, so be it. I know I need to loose weight. Does it sting? Yeah but not because they said it but because I am fat and lazy and I cant wave a wand to fix it. 

[Bazinga]

17 hours ago, AussieKrissy said:

I get all that and no other group of women in the world do I guess about pregnancies based on body shape. Not everyone in the world promotes, advocates and actively works towards unending fertility.  Fundies do. Would I ask them in person if I saw them? No. Would I ask them on social media? NO But would I think it in my head? Hell yeah. Do I feel guilt in speculating on a snark forum? No.

I am fat, I look pregnant. If people think it, so be it. I know I need to loose weight. Does it sting? Yeah but not because they said it but because I am fat and lazy and I cant wave a wand to fix it. 

Agreed. I would never ask Anna in real life or on social media, but would I internally speculate... Sure. I don't understand how as a snark community we are totally cool with watching Lauren like a hawk, or any of the other girls for that matter. Why? Because they were able to regain a better figure after birth? If we can't speculate on Anna because we might fat shame her, then we can't speculate on the others either. Now in that video, the angle does make it truly appear like she is pregnant. The dress is a much tighter fit that the flowing red shirt in the election photo. So I can't fault anyone for suddenly thinking it. The Duggars have made it very clear, they love having babies. So one is going to speculate. Also, why would Anna lie? Why wouldn't she lie? You really think she is going to admit she is pregnant to some random person on social media? No way! The Duggars are highly calculated people. IF Anna is pregnant, you bet they will share that information when it best suits them and not on a random fan question.

[singsingsing]

My opinion on the pregnancy speculation based on appearance: meh. I can see why people hate it, and I'm a little uncomfortable with it myself, but I also understand why it happens. They're quiverfull fundies who really only exist in the public eye because of their militant fecundity. So I get why people speculate on a forum (not to their faces or in their Insta comments, that's super rude and weird) that they may be pregnant because their stomach looks a little more round, or their face is a bit more full, or their eyebrows look lighter, or whatever. 

THAT SAID, I am personally done with it. I know I've stated this before, but I've engaged in this type of thing myself in the past and I have seen the error of my ways. Both because it did make me feel slightly gross, and also because there were multiple times when I thought someone definitely was pregnant and they weren't, and times when I thought someone definitely wasn't pregnant and they were. So I've officially retired from 'she looks like she might be pregnant' speculation (out loud, I totally admit I still think it in my head) and just wait for them to actually announce, or not.

[RosyDaisy]

I have no sympathy for these evil, hateful people. They actively work to strip others of their rights. A little pregnancy speculation is nothing compared to what they deserve. Besides, they should be thrilled they are being talked about for possible pregnancies. It's one of the main tenets of their religion. They should be proud to flash those baby bumps.[emoji849]

[PVMom]

There is no board guidelines against speculating about pregnancy, it's not illegal, if you don't want to speculate and are so offended then stay off this thread.   

I'm speculating.  I'm guessing no. I think she's just gained a lot of weight. A few months ago she said something like "I'm not pregnant just overdue for a diet".  I think she knows she's gained a lot of weight and if she is this big and pregnant, she would announce the pregnancy by now. Or if this wasn't the optimal time, she would make a better, much better attempt at hiding her pregnant belly.  We know she has plenty of dresses a pregnant belly could hide in.  She must have chose that dress because she likes it.   Anna's not the attention seeker that Jinger or Jessa are.  Anna isn't putting her unannounced pregnant belly on display.   

She's just fat.   

[singsingsing]

38 minutes ago, PVMom said:

There is no board guidelines against speculating about pregnancy, it's not illegal, if you don't want to speculate and are so offended then stay off this thread.  

Nope, that's not how it works. People get to speculate, and other people get to talk about why they hate the speculation, and then other people get to discuss whether they think the speculation is okay or not. Nobody has to 'stay off this thread'. Everyone's welcome to voice their opinions here.

[Lyle Lanley]

On 11/8/2018 at 9:10 AM, KelseyAnn said:

My guess is another girl and theyll name her Molly. 

Subtle nod to Grandma Mary?

Really wonder if Anna wishes she hadn't committed to the "M" theme now.

[bananabread]

1 hour ago, Lyle Lanley said:

Really wonder if Anna wishes she hadn't committed to the "M" theme now.

She'll probably have at least another five kids, so she could make a switch now and still not have any kid be the odd one out. ?

I often think about the themes thing...like these fundie women are like 19 (and mentally, in middle school) when they have their first babies. What if they pick some terrible naming theme that they're stuck with til they're 45? Like types of birds, or the letter Q?

Speaking of bad names...a sorta-fundie that the Duggars follow on Instagram (@evangelinerenee) named her first three kids Evin, Scottlan, and Ransom. RANSOM. Lord have mercy. 

[sleepy_doggos]

Speaking of bad names...a sorta-fundie that the Duggars follow on Instagram (@evangelinerenee) named her first three kids Evin, Scottlan, and Ransom. RANSOM. Lord have mercy. 

Like He paid the ransom for our sins?
Oh dear.

[Rachel333]

Ransom was used as a name more often in the 19th century. It mostly makes me think of C.S. Lewis.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

32 minutes ago, bananabread said:

or the letter Q

I would love that.

"We'd like you to meet our newest blessing, little Quixotic Duggar."

[HerNameIsBuffy]

10 hours ago, Bazinga said:

Sure. I don't understand how as a snark community we are totally cool with watching Lauren like a hawk, or any of the other girls for that matter.

Speculating on pregnancy is called out no matter who it's about if it's based on weight.

Because scrutinizing another woman's body for additional weight, bigger boobs, whatever is fucking gross.

I don't give a shit how it affects the fundies.  If they read here they should find things a hell of a lot more offensive than cracks about their weight.  

I don't give a rats ass about Anna's figure at any point in her life ... I'm not sleeping with her why on earth would I care?

What people on the other side of this repeating argument is how shitty it is as a thing to do to other women.  Period.  Because it sets the default to perfectly thin or underweight and once over that by no matter how many or few pounds it's okay to speculate on why she isn't perfect.

Is it a pregnancy or is she just fat?  That's what it is.  And the truth is - it's none of anyone's business.

Until a woman announces a pregnancy the contents of her uterus are NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

But this is not, and has never been about protecting fundy feelings, for me.  It's about here, of all places, it prepetuates the idea that women are held to a perfect ideal and any variance from that gets us scrutiny about our figures or weight from strangers and that's just fine.

It's not fine - not to me.  It's nasty and it's gross .... you aren't hurting them.  I am sure they give even fewer fucks about your feelings about them than I do their feelings about us.  You're hurting OTHER WOMEN who read this by perpetuating the objectification of each other.

Plenty here don't agree with me and that's fine but those who don't need to stop acting like this argument is to protect fundies because it isn't.  It's about wanting people to behaving like decent human beings.

5 hours ago, singsingsing said:

Nope, that's not how it works. People get to speculate, and other people get to talk about why they hate the speculation, and then other people get to discuss whether they think the speculation is okay or not. Nobody has to 'stay off this thread'. Everyone's welcome to voice their opinions here.

Perfectly said.

[Sky with diamonds]

6 hours ago, PVMom said:

There is no board guidelines against speculating about pregnancy, it's not illegal, if you don't want to speculate and are so offended then stay off this thread.   

I'm speculating.  I'm guessing no. I think she's just gained a lot of weight. A few months ago she said something like "I'm not pregnant just overdue for a diet".  I think she knows she's gained a lot of weight and if she is this big and pregnant, she would announce the pregnancy by now. Or if this wasn't the optimal time, she would make a better, much better attempt at hiding her pregnant belly.  We know she has plenty of dresses a pregnant belly could hide in.  She must have chose that dress because she likes it.   Anna's not the attention seeker that Jinger or Jessa are.  Anna isn't putting her unannounced pregnant belly on display.   

She's just fat.   

Anna isn't what I'd call fat. 

[SapphireSlytherin]

10 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Until a woman announces a pregnancy the contents of her uterus are NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

Actually, the contents of any woman's uterus aren't anyone's business, either. At all. Ever.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

Just now, SapphireSlytherin said:

Actually, the contents of any woman's uterus aren't anyone's business, either. At all. Ever.

My point was if someone announces a pregnancy, especially if they are on TV and make money from magazine spreads, there is nothing wrong with acknowledging she's pregnant because she put it out there.

Speculating more than what she has shared is the problem.

[Destiny]

6 hours ago, PVMom said:

There is no board guidelines against speculating about pregnancy, it's not illegal, if you don't want to speculate and are so offended then stay off this thread.   

That’s not how this works. You don’t get to tell people what they can and can’t talk about. 

[bananabread]

1 hour ago, Destiny said:

That’s not how this works. You don’t get to tell people what they can and can’t talk about. 

I think what @PVMom means is that it is SUPER annoying that every time someone makes any sort of pregnancy speculation, people feel the need to jump in like "I don't feel comfortable talking about that," "that's not the sort of thing I think we should speculate on," etc etc.

Like this is a snark and gossip site. I'm here to snark and gossip. I'm not sure what you're here for if it's not that. If you don't want to be involved in a certain conversation, by all means don't involve yourself. 

[Destiny]

4 minutes ago, bananabread said:

I think what @PVMom means is that it is SUPER annoying that every time someone makes any sort of pregnancy speculation, people feel the need to jump in like "I don't feel comfortable talking about that," "that's not the sort of thing I think we should speculate on," etc etc.

Like this is a snark and gossip site. I'm here to snark and gossip. I'm not sure what you're here for if it's not that. If you don't want to be involved in a certain conversation, by all means don't involve yourself. 

Then change the subject. You don't get to decide what other people talk about. Also, it's gross and damaging to decide that woman must be pregnant because her boobs are bigger or she has a tummy. 

I have more boobs than I should and a tummy. I've never been pregnant. I'd be horrified and probably emotionally damaged if someone decided I was pregnant because of these facts. (Protip: it's happened. I still have scars. 10years later).

Either way, no one gets to decide what is talked about here within the rules. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

8 minutes ago, bananabread said:

I think what @PVMom means is that it is SUPER annoying that every time someone makes any sort of pregnancy speculation, people feel the need to jump in like "I don't feel comfortable talking about that," "that's not the sort of thing I think we should speculate on," etc etc.

Like this is a snark and gossip site. I'm here to snark and gossip. I'm not sure what you're here for if it's not that. If you don't want to be involved in a certain conversation, by all means don't involve yourself. 

I'm sure that's what she means.  I get that it's super irritating ... just as it's super irritating to hear people do it despite it being a shitty thing to do.

That doesn't change the fact that neither you nor she gets to moderate the content of this board.

And if you don't know why people are here if not to speculate on other women's bodies then I suggest you look around a little more.  There are other things to talk about.

[Destiny]

I am overweight. I've been overweight most of my adult life despite being in pretty good shape. I run 10+ miles a week. I exercise every day. I'm still government issue overweight. I've been invited by the staff to go shop elsewhere because "this is a store for not fat people". I've been told I'm a fat cow, despite being in the best shape of my life and probably better than most people. 

All of this is irrelevant, because the damage from the OMG you are so fat, you don't fit society's standards is long lasting. There is still a part of me that hates myself because I'm not a perfect size 0. I tried to be bulimic as a teen. Scrutinising bodies is damaging and we shouldn't do it. 

Separate from all that, the contents of someone's uterus, or lack thereof, is none of our business unless we are the uterus owner or the person who might have put sperm in it. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

3 minutes ago, Destiny said:

Separate from all that, the contents of someone's uterus, or lack thereof, is none of our business unless we are the uterus owner or the person who might have put sperm in it. 

I love you so much - and I cosign all your words on behalf of women who don't deserve to be shamed for being what others deem imperfect...

and on behalf of all the uterus havers and sperm putter-inners.

[SorenaJ]

We don't get to decide who we are allowed to body shame or not. "Omg they are fundies and so evil (agreed, sure), so we get to bodyshame them and call them pregnant". Then who else are you allowed to call pregnant? Your neighbor, who is being a bitch? Your high school teacher, who is kind of annoying? That woman you know who votes Republican? No. We don't get to decide who is worthy of not being body-shamed, because everyone is.

We don't get to be the judge here. Everyone deserves to not be body-shamed. Every woman deserves not to have her body scrutinized for signs of pregnancy. 

 

(Another example - Caitlyn Jenner, who is a bad person, because of her political views, for some people it's apparently okay to use her deadname and dead-pronouns (is that even a word?), because "she is bad person, so she is asking for it". No. Even if Caitlyn Jenner was literally Hitler, you don't get to use her dead-name/pronouns. You are not the judge of that. You are not the judge of who deserves to be correctly gendered and who does not.)