Lori Alexander Blog Post 4-10-18 Fertility Cult Worship of Fecundity

[AuntKrazy]

So today, Lori is raving against those who do not want to bring children into an evil world and expose them to it.  

Her answers, as always, are the same "God commanded children".  "Birth control is wrong!" (Lifelong over-justification of sabotaging yours, much, eh, Lori?)

So as always, her points exclude each and every single and infertile woman as outside the "perfect will of God".  

I believe that there is going to be a special place in hell for you, Lori Alexander, unless you repent of the evil you regularly do to women in the name of God.  I wonder if Lori has read enough of the Bible to know that the Bible stones prophets who dare to speak for God and are wrong.  

[Briefly]

When we moved from Texas to Oklahoma, we had to find new doctors. The OB/GYN I went to at first spent quite a bit of the exam time telling me that I needed to "have all the children I could have" and he got kind of ticked off when I told him that it would be irresponsible of us to have children that we couldn't afford to feed.  At the time, I was just mad at him and then later on I realized that I probably should have complained.  Turned out we did have all the children we could have, and that is exactly one child. But not because he told us to only have one!

[jerkit]

12 hours ago, Briefly said:

When we moved from Texas to Oklahoma, we had to find new doctors. The OB/GYN I went to at first spent quite a bit of the exam time telling me that I needed to "have all the children I could have" and he got kind of ticked off when I told him that it would be irresponsible of us to have children that we couldn't afford to feed.  At the time, I was just mad at him and then later on I realized that I probably should have complained.  Turned out we did have all the children we could have, and that is exactly one child. But not because he told us to only have one!

I ditched my GYN recently because I asked for permanent birth control and he wouldn’t consider it until I am 35 (I’m 30 now). Nope, you sir, do not get to make my reproductive decisions. I went to a new doctor and she was like “hell yes, let’s do this.”

[delphinium65]

4 minutes ago, jerkit said:

 Nope, you sir, do not get to make my reproductive decisions.

Damn straight. I hate it when a doctor refuses to give long term contraception, or permanent sterilization, because 'what if you change your mind later?'  That's not the doctor's business, or problem. His/her obligation is to make sure the patient understands the long term/permanent implications, not to make that decision for the patient!  

Yeah, I have pretty strong feelings on this subject.  

[jerkit]

2 minutes ago, delphinium65 said:

Damn straight. I hate it when a doctor refuses to give long term contraception, or permanent sterilization, because 'what if you change your mind later?'  That's not the doctor's business, or problem. His/her obligation is to make sure the patient understands the long term/permanent implications, not to make that decision for the patient!  

Yeah, I have pretty strong feelings on this subject.  

I completely agree. 

I recently had a late period and was really scared I could be pregnant. That event really sealed the deal for me that I want to be child free by choice. I had no positive feelings whatsoever. It was only fear and dread. I don't ever want to have to feel that way again. 

[delphinium65]

26 minutes ago, jerkit said:

I completely agree. 

I recently had a late period and was really scared I could be pregnant. That event really sealed the deal for me that I want to be child free by choice. I had no positive feelings whatsoever. It was only fear and dread. I don't ever want to have to feel that way again. 

As far as I'm concerned not wanting kids is good enough reason not to have them. Full stop.  

I have 3 adult offspring, none of them accidents, but that was my choice, and doesn't have to be anyone else's.  I was sick enough during my first pregnancy (hyperemesis gravidarum, which to me is Latin for 'total barfing misery), and to a somewhat lesser extent the other two, that the worst possible words I could have heard during my oldest's infancy would have been 'Congratulations, you're pregnant again!'  Yeah, I'll just puke my guts out while trying to change a diaper.     Any doctor who had told me at that time 'I'm not giving you birth control,' no matter what the reason, would have been well advised to take a few steps back immediately after saying that, or better yet get out of the room...fast.  

Lori can take her 'gotta have lots of baybees' crap and stick it where the sun don't shine.  

[jerkit]

8 minutes ago, delphinium65 said:

 

Lori can take her 'gotta have lots of baybees' crap and stick it where the sun don't shine.  

If for no other reason than her daughter wants children but hasn't been able to have them. If Alyssa does read the blog, it must crush her. 

[Koala]

Just a friendly reminder that Lori and Ken took great care to control their family size:

2012

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Having said all that, Ken and I were not quiverful when we were young.  We did use birth control until I had Ryan.  After that, we used natural family planning.  Years later, we decided we did want God to bless us with more children if He wanted, but I was 45 years old at that time.

Heh.  Ken *thought* they were still using birth control, but SURPRISE!  Lori poked a hole in her diaphragm so she wouldn't have to work anymore.  Ain't love grand?!?

I do like that at 45 (after her fertility had naturally decreased), she decided to let God take control.  How convenient!

At least at the time of that post (6 years ago), Lori still had enough sense to believe it was actually between the couple and God (if they believed).  

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This decision, however, needs to be between each husband and wife.  

You'll note that she absolutely never says that now.

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We need to seek God's wisdom and do what we think He is asking us to do.  

Again, this is something she seems to have forgotten altogether.  Now she's all, "Do as I say, or you HATE God and His Ways!"

[delphinium65]

4 minutes ago, Koala said:

Just a friendly reminder that Lori and Ken took great care to control their family size:

So when they used BC they 'hated God' and his 'perfect ways,' right?  I would tend to give the benefit of the doubt, but she doesn't do that for anyone else.  

[EowynW]

The ad on this thread thread made me giggle a little. 

[Koala]

Ughh...the comment section.  

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In the 50’s when l was a kid it was not unusual to have six kids or more. My mom did. I did. I had hoped with six children l would have a ton of grands. Not so. One doesn’t want any, and my two daughters each have two and are done. All l can do is pray that the remaining two will be fruitful.

Well, it may not have been "unusual", but even in 1940 the avg. family in America had 3.76 kids.  

Having children because you want All.The.Grandchildren is just stupid, and expecting other adults to have kids because you want them to is selfish and silly.

The kid that doesn't want kids, so he/she's not having any?  Good for them!  This world doesn't need more children born to parents who don't want them in the first place.  That's a horrible way for a child to live!

The daughters who have two kids each?  Good for them too.  Sounds like they were smart enough to have the families THEY wanted, instead of the families you wanted for them.

The remaining two?  All I can do is hope that they do what's best for them, instead of what's "best" for their selfish mother who thinks she should get to determine her family size AND her adult children's family size.

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P.S. Lori, have you read “What to Expect When No One’s Expecting”? 

I would just "expect" that everyone was doing what they wanted, and mind my own business.  That's just me though. 

Maybe reflect on the verse about not being a busybody.  That might help.

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If you dont have kids because of an evil world, you are a coward. 

No words for this reader.  I believe she's the one who has 10 or 11 kids.  She has admitted that one of those children is non verbal/non mobile, yet she STILL finds excuses for using "the rod" on her (as Lori calls it).  That particular reader IS the reason this is an evil world!  Seriously, pure evil.

(Okay, just checked, and it's the same reader).  Here is the exchange I am referring to, in case Ken wants to know why so many people are against Lori's "message".

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Diamond In The Rough says:

December 28, 2017 at 4:37 pm

Hi Alexandrs,
I get what you mean, I have 9 children, pregnant with my 10th and out of the 9 i have two children with varying disabilities. The older one is almost 11 and cannot walk or crawl. And is still in nappies ( diapers) and is non verbal. I found if i wasnt careful, i unwittingly placed her in a bubble. Its so easy to do. And yet we still managed to find ways to train her. She is an extreemly happy child. All her teachers adore her. And to be honest she doesnt seem to need much correction. It may help to have someone who isnt as close but has experience with preemies and or disabilities that holds similar beliefs who can advise you. It is hard, but it can be done

 

In case you have any doubt about how she "trains" this poor child, another reader asked the following in response:

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I am not against spanking, but in all seriousness what could a child that can’t walk, talk or do anything for themselves do that would require a punishment?

The (beyond disgusting) answer:

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Constantly grinding her teeth, chewing her tongue until it bleeds, sucking her thumb until it cracks bleeds refusing to eat her food for no good reason other than being in a foul mood etc. She is allowed to be unhappy. But when she starts letting everyone know about it and acts miserable all day its unnaceptable. We always search for a reason, (in pain,thirsty,hungry,tired,too hot, too cold, dirty etc) and if no good reason can be found it needs to be dealt with immediately.

I honestly almost left FJ over this post.  I was so troubled by it, and I just couldn't fathom that a mother could be so cruel to an absolutely defenseless child.  It's horrifying beyond words.  

"Diamond in the Rough" also wrote the following:

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Hi Lori,
Loved this post. I cant stand ‘gentle parenting’. Yes, when appropriate we should be gentle. And we should be sensative to the childs needs. But this gentle parenting movement is disturbing. Particularly in the christian church. I was too lax on my kids for years. I guess you could say i resorted to the worlds method more. I still spanked. But it wasnt consistent and often done in the heat of the mome t or i relied on lectures. And we paid the price. I hated to hear my kids cry if their dad would spank them. He was opposite to me. Was mostly calm and controlled and mostly consistent. I learnt to leave the room. And they are a lot quicker to obey him than me. I changed my ways somewhat as with this latest pregnancy my legs and hips often leave me doubled over in pain if i stand or walk too much. And so my ability to do housework is limited. And i hadnt trained my kids to helpas it was easier to do it myself. But now im forced to sit and supervise and direct. And for once the house is looking better and staying that way. I help when i can of course. But getting tougher on my kids and being spanked more consistently under the right conditions has worked better than gentle parenting ever did. And because i have taken on a more supervisory role with the house and kids, my husband is happier. Everytime he saw me franticly doing housework he would screw up his face and tell me i shouldnt be doing that, but making the kids do it instead. He hated seeing me up at all hours doing all the work. Once again, loved the post. Happy new year to you and Ken

Reply

So basically, she is breeding like an animal while her kids clean her house  (and are spanked if they don't do it to her specifications).  After all, why do all the work, when you can give birth to your own household staff?

THAT is the woman Lori is encouraging to have as many servants "blessings" as the Lord gives her.  That is the woman calling other women "cowards".  

Lori has deleted scripture.  Straight up, she has flat out zapped comments that contained NOTHING OTHER than SCRIPTURE.  But do you think she deleted the HORRIFYING words of this crazy woman?  Nope.  In fact, here is Lori's reply:

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Lori Alexander says:

December 30, 2017 at 5:27 am

Thank you and Happy New Year to you, too. It’s wonderful to hear that there is order and consistency in your home now! Yes, God’s ways are best.

God's ways?  No, Lori.  Hitting a non verbal/ non mobile child isn't "God's Ways".  It's YOUR WAY!

 

[Briefly]

12 hours ago, jerkit said:

I ditched my GYN recently because I asked for permanent birth control and he wouldn’t consider it until I am 35 (I’m 30 now). Nope, you sir, do not get to make my reproductive decisions. I went to a new doctor and she was like “hell yes, let’s do this.”

After several years, I decided to get my tubes tied because we'd figured out it wasn't going to happen and since we were getting older and didn't want a surprise when we were what we considered to be too old, it was time to just get it done and not worry.  My mom was almost 39 when I was born, so there is family history on that subject! The doctor I was seeing then was fine with it, but the only hospital he had privileges at is Catholic and they don't do sterilizations. So he sent me to a doctor that used the other hospital in Tulsa and she did the actual surgery. I wound up staying with her as my doctor for years since the one who referred me to her was going to retire anyway. It's not up to anybody else, it was us and our decision. Nobody else had any right to an opinion.

[December]

12 hours ago, delphinium65 said:

Damn straight. I hate it when a doctor refuses to give long term contraception, or permanent sterilization, because 'what if you change your mind later?' 

I understand a doctor denying something if there's a compelling medical reason, but not just because of their personal beliefs/feelings. Also, I can't believe that some doctors are still against long-acting reversible contraception... reversible is right in the name, and there are so many types out there now! 

11 hours ago, Koala said:

I do like that at 45 (after her fertility had naturally decreased), she decided to let God take control.  How convenient!

One of my grandparent's mothers was mid-40s when they were born! That said, stopping birth control after 45 is basically equivalent to getting the guy a vasectomy and claiming it's letting God "take control." I can't imagine that approach would get much credit, even from people who subscribe to Quiverfull, etc. 

[desertvixen]

If your husband is tired of seeing you work, then it's HIS JOB to help you/hire you help/arrange for help.  Not your damn kids.

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

15 hours ago, delphinium65 said:

Damn straight. I hate it when a doctor refuses to give long term contraception, or permanent sterilization, because 'what if you change your mind later?'  That's not the doctor's business, or problem. His/her obligation is to make sure the patient understands the long term/permanent implications, not to make that decision for the patient!  

Yeah, I have pretty strong feelings on this subject.  

That happened to me like eleventy7 years ago!  Dr wanted to know what I would do if I changed my mind, told him I would get a dog, he then approved the procedure but it still had to be approved by the hospital board for f-cks sake.  They approved which was good cause I was ready to get "lawyerd up"

[Imrlgoddess]

Adding to the "don't tell me what to do doc!" narrative....I had my daughter in 2000, my OB was a young woman.  I'd told her before I went into labor that I wanted my tubes tied, she skirted it.  Told her after birth, she told me to wait till my 6 week checkup to discuss it.  Brought it up then, she shamed me and tried to scare me by asking what if I lost both my husband and child, remarried and he wanted more children...I told her that would be his problem or I wouldn't marry a fellow who wanted kids.  She still refused, stating that they didn't tie women under 25 and/or with only one child because they often regretted it and the procedure was difficult to reverse.  ( I was 22 at the time)

The USMC didn't bat at eye, I was 26 by then and stationed in Japan.  Sent me to the nearest Naval base, got it done, no issues, no regrets. 

[jerkit]

FWIW,  my surgery is scheduled for 4/27. YESSSSS!

[Emilycharlotte]

My doctor wasn't rude about not wanting to tie my tubes, but he was reluctant and worried I would regret it. I finally told him  that if my entire family perished, I would consider raising poodles, but I was NOT going through childbirth again. 

[AuntKrazy]

The more I reflect on this particular post, the more annoyed with Lori and her false gospel preaching ways I become.

I never wanted children.  Turns out that because of all my thyroid & hormonal problems I was not fertile anyway.  In my evaluation of things, I believe that a compassionate God heard my prayers and spared me yet another surgery.  I like to believe that it is because I was in tune with God's will for me that I made peace with my infertility very quickly.  But by golly, I am more than tired of holier-than-thou types like Lori judging me for my spirituality because I couldn't have children.  It's the biggest reason why I avoid women's ministries.  No woman or man is less than because they don't have children.  I am fully human.   My femininity is not less.  My sexuality is not less.  My worship of God and adherence to His leading is not less.  The ability to breed is not a spiritual quality at all.

[smittykins]

When my late husband and I went through our premarital counseling, my Episcopal priest made a point of saying that the married couple who were(and still are)the church's organist and choir director are childless, and they were just as much a family as couple with kids. 

[Briefly]

My daughter pretty much told me that she does not want children and probably never will. While I would like grandchildren, it's not going to hurt me if she doesn't have kids. It's her body, her decision. There is also a possibility that she may have the issues her dad and I had as far as being able to have the, and also her boyfriend (they will probably never marry but they are probably together forever) doesn't think that he wants kids either, but even if he did it might not be biological for them. There is a strong possibility of a chromosome disorder in his genetic line. But I don't see them ever changing their minds about having kids. However, because of their ages - she's 26 and he's 27 or 28, they are still relying on birth control as opposed to surgery.

[Frog99]

I have two kids (we did IVF for both- one fresh cycle and one frozen cycle). If we were unable to have kids we may have considered international adoption but who knows. At the time I worked in public child welfare and we were not permitted to be licensed foster or adoptive parents, hence the international route. I wouldn’t have left my job with insurance etc. 

Neither of my sisters have or want kids (and they never have)- they have been married for 14 and 16 years. One BIL would have liked kids but married my sister knowing her thoughts on the matter. The other BIL doesn’t want kids either. They are great aunts and uncles to DD md DS, and my parents have no issue with only having two grandkids. 

I want my kids to blaze their paths in this world. If they have kids, great. If not, also great.