Meredith Hammer Pregnant and Had Her Fifth

[Hisey]

I'm not sure if this is worthy of a post, but I just took a look at Stephen Hammer's fb page. The pic at the top is a picture of him and Meredith.  Meredith is usually so put together and beautiful, but she looks very tired in this picture. If you page down to the timeline, you see the picture at a different angle, and Meredith is wearing a rather large and shapeless dress. She has either gained weight, bought a dress that is way too big, or is pregnant. I think she may be pregnant. If so, that will be five kids in about 6-7 years (I'm not sure how old Margaret Alice, the oldest, is).

I kind of feel sorry for Meredith. She is the type to get great enjoyment from caring for little children. Her kids are always so well-cared for and look so happy. With five under 7, she will not be able to keep up (or if she does, it just can't be as much fun.)

On another note, her brother Elliott married about a year ago. Here's what he wrote to his wife on their 8 month anniversary:

Quote

Happy birthday to my sweet wife, Bethany! Thank you for nearly 8 months of marriage. I love getting to be around you and watching your silly antics. I thank God for you every day. You are so precious to me. I love you! [Bolding mine]

It sounds like he is talking about a puppy or small child. God, I would hate to be a woman in that family. they are expected to do a ton of work yet they are still treated like they're idiots. I remember when Meredith first got an email from Stephen, expressing interest in her. She and her mom decided to tell her dad/brothers asap, because they felt that the male perspective is so much more logical and sensible. "I can't decide if I'm interested in this  man, mom, so I'm going to ask my younger brothers to tell me if I am."

[Palimpsest]

Eleanor was born last November, IIRC.  Margaret Alice may be 6 now.  John Bradford is 3-ish and Penelope 2-ish.  I forget when their birthdays are exactly. 

There is a lovely photo of Mere in March where she looks very slender.  Stephen looks smug.  As usual.  And it looks as though he's gained a few pounds himself.

That photo does make me wonder whether she is pregnant again.  She is a hard worker and was making and selling cheesecake all December through Avery Farms.  They look delicious.  Perhaps she is just tired, sampled too many of them, or the dress is unflattering.

They still seem to be living in Cambridge.  I thought the Hammer had finished law school.

I've always had a very soft spot for Meredith.  Not for Stephen.  He comes over as a smug arrogant ass.

[JermajestyDuggar]

It's definitely possible. Her youngest is a year old so she's right on schedule if she's pregnant again. 

[Palimpsest]

45 minutes ago, Hisey said:

On another note, her brother Elliott married about a year ago.

Interesting discussion of IKDG on his facebook.  They seem actually critical of purity culture although they think the book was OK.  People just took it too far.

And, bless my soul!  Young Oliver just bought a house debt-free!

[Bethella]

5 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

Eleanor was born last November, IIRC.  Margaret Alice may be 6 now.  John Bradford is 3-ish and Penelope 2-ish.  I forget when their birthdays are exactly. 

Pretty close, Margaret was 6 in September; John was 4 in September, Penelope is 2 (3 in May) and Eleanor turned one in November.

[JemimaPuddle-Duck]

She announced her pregnancy on IG back in September. She’s due in early March. 

[Pianokeeper]

I moved to Cambridge last year and continue to be astonished that a fundie family would be happy here. It is THE definition of liberal elitist bubble (which I never even fully realized existed when I was a super liberal person living in the Atlanta area). 

But maybe they're not happy and just bearing it for the Harvard name and prestige...? There are other good law schools, and in far more affordable areas, but I guess some people might put their families through anything for another rung on the social cachet ladder. 

[anniebgood]

I just wonder what she is going to do in social situations after Stephen has graduated law school and gotten into a prestigious firm (you know he won't just be happy with anything else). How will she interact with the WAG of other attorneys. She's going to be the worn out mother of 5 to satisfy his ego. I don't trust Stephen as far as I could throw him. He's always had that oily snake salesman look about him. 

[Palimpsest]

6 hours ago, Pianokeeper said:

It is THE definition of liberal elitist bubble

Oh, you noticed.   There are parts of Cambridge where you can escape the pointy-headed would-be intellectuals if you search though.  It is a city as well as being the home of Harvard and MIT.

I've always wondered why Stephen didn't park Meredith and kids safely in the 'burbs and commute into Cambridge.  It would have been cheaper.  However, I think they may be in grad student housing.  I always think Meredith and her color coordinated kids must stick out like a sore thumb around Harvard Square, but on her own she could blend in. 

Stephen claimed to have picked HLS because it was "welcoming to conservative people."  He seems to have dug himself in at the Harvard Federalist Society, and I'm sure found a few other like-minded folk there.  Meredith seems to adore her children and enjoy her life.  I hope so.

31 minutes ago, anniebgood said:

I just wonder what she is going to do in social situations after Stephen has graduated law school and gotten into a prestigious firm (you know he won't just be happy with anything else)

Meredith isn't fresh from the farm these days.  She's survived Oxford and several years of being a military spouse.  If she can survive HLS and a social life through the Federalist Society she will probably be fine.  Harvard is notoriously brutal to trailing spouses (and most of them are as well educated as the spouse at Harvard.)  Meredith is not well educated but she isn't stupid.  She probably survives by smiling, looking pretty, and asking people to talk about themselves.  I expect many people find her charming.

I'm more concerned about what she and Stephen find to talk about. I hope he doesn't get bored with her.  Perhaps he is only interested in her smiling, looking pretty, reproducing, looking after the kids, and listening to him prate on.  He did deliberately pick out the ideal SAHM submissive wife.

[erunerune]

2 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

Oh, you noticed.   There are parts of Cambridge where you can escape the pointy-headed would-be intellectuals if you search though.  It is a city as well as being the home of Harvard and MIT.

I've always wondered why Stephen didn't park Meredith and kids safely in the 'burbs and commute into Cambridge.  It would have been cheaper.  However, I think they may be in grad student housing.  I always think Meredith and her color coordinated kids must stick out like a sore thumb around Harvard Square, but on her own she could blend in. 

Stephen claimed to have picked HLS because it was "welcoming to conservative people."  He seems to have dug himself in at the Harvard Federalist Society, and I'm sure found a few other like-minded folk there.  Meredith seems to adore her children and enjoy her life.  I hope so.

Meredith isn't fresh from the farm these days.  She's survived Oxford and several years of being a military spouse.  If she can survive HLS and a social life through the Federalist Society she will probably be fine.  Harvard is notoriously brutal to trailing spouses (and most of them are as well educated as the spouse at Harvard.)  Meredith is not well educated but she isn't stupid.  She probably survives by smiling, looking pretty, and asking people to talk about themselves.  I expect many people find her charming.

I'm more concerned about what she and Stephen find to talk about. I hope he doesn't get bored with her.  Perhaps he is only interested in her smiling, looking pretty, reproducing, looking after the kids, and listening to him prate on.  He did deliberately pick out the ideal SAHM submissive wife.

I’m sorta hoping she gets bored with HIM.

[teachergirl]

oh, I have no doubt at some point he will find extra curricular interests...You are correct, she is bright but she isn't HLS material bright.  I have always thought she is a prop and so are those children...I am shocked that they are having another, they live in a two bedroom house, where and when does he study??? I was in law school ( briefly) and the work load was rough  She has traveled all over for him, including DC this summer with all of those children and then being pregnant.  I always wonder how she fits in and then realize she doesn't have time to...she is at home, cooking, cleaning, homeschooling, breeding and he is off doing whatever the hell he wants to.

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, teachergirl said:

oh, I have no doubt at some point he will find extra curricular interests...You are correct, she is bright but she isn't HLS material bright.  I have always thought she is a prop and so are those children...I am shocked that they are having another, they live in a two bedroom house, where and when does he study??? I was in law school ( briefly) and the work load was rough  She has traveled all over for him, including DC this summer with all of those children and then being pregnant.  I always wonder how she fits in and then realize she doesn't have time to...she is at home, cooking, cleaning, homeschooling, breeding and he is off doing whatever the hell he wants to.

I agree. I'm guessing she does absolutely everything that pertains to their homeschooling, home, and childcare while he is gone most of the time. But I'm sure when he gets home she has dinner ready for him and clean and ironed clothing ready for him to wear the next day. They probably look like they are straight out of an episode of leave it to Beaver. 

[nausicaa]

4 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

I'm more concerned about what she and Stephen find to talk about. I hope he doesn't get bored with her.  Perhaps he is only interested in her smiling, looking pretty, reproducing, looking after the kids, and listening to him prate on.  He did deliberately pick out the ideal SAHM submissive wife.

I think Stephen wanted a 1950s marriage in all senses. Wives aren't there to have deep or challenging conversations with, or even to be friends with. That's what other men are for. 

And while I think Meredith isn't stupid and has far more natural charm than Stephen, I do think her background could hold him back if he pursues a political career. At least if he wants to transcend through traditional Republican channels and not the alt-right. 

God do I want to know what his female classmates think of him. 

[Hisey]

I'm sorry, but the news of her pregnancy makes me angry and sad. She is such an intelligent young woman, and she had so much promise. Her youngest two are 1.5 years apart, and this new baby will be even less than that. Having a baby every 17 months or so is probably going to destroy her health and her beauty, and take a lot of fun out of having babies. How can you enjoy the sweetness of small children when you are exhausted and overwhelmed by their demands?

As for their life in Cambridge. . . I doubt they blend in. I have been to Cambridge many times. I have never, ever seen a family with five small children, all close in age, all dressed in handmade, seersucker, monogrammed clothing. They must really stand out.

How does Steven study? He goes to the law library, that's where law students often study. He comes home when he is sure all the kids are in bed. 

[Fundiewonder]

Today, on her Facebook page, Meredith posted a new family picture. It gave the names and ages of all her kids and also mentioned that she's expecting a girl who will be named Caroline. 

So, she'll have 4 girls and a boy.  Will only the boy be groomed for a high powered college and a big career? Stephen's lawyer peers will certainly look at him askance if none of the girls go past high school, although they might accept his other life choices. I'm not saying everyone has to go to college, just that everyone should have that chance if they want it....and that it will definitely look strange to his peers if none of the girls go.

in their family picture, they always look like they're trying to pose for a White House Christmas card.

Edited January 5, 2018 by Fundiewonder
Typo

[JMarie]

On 1/2/2018 at 3:27 PM, Palimpsest said:

They still seem to be living in Cambridge.  I thought the Hammer had finished law school.

 

He'll be starting his final semester in a few weeks.  Maybe they'll move to a more fundy-friendly area after graduation?

[Rosie]

On 1/3/2018 at 7:31 PM, teachergirl said:

oh, I have no doubt at some point he will find extra curricular interests...You are correct, she is bright but she isn't HLS material bright.  I have always thought she is a prop and so are those children...I am shocked that they are having another, they live in a two bedroom house, where and when does he study??? I was in law school ( briefly) and the work load was rough  She has traveled all over for him, including DC this summer with all of those children and then being pregnant.  I always wonder how she fits in and then realize she doesn't have time to...she is at home, cooking, cleaning, homeschooling, breeding and he is off doing whatever the hell he wants to.

Two bedroom house?  How do we know?

i am a lawyer and went through law school when I was single with no kids.  I guess he studies at the library.  I can’t imagine how else it could be done.

[Bethella]

1 hour ago, Rosie said:

Two bedroom house?  How do we know?

They posted it to sublet while they were in DC for his internship. There's a thread about if floating around somewhere. 

[fluffy]

30 minutes ago, Bethella said:

They posted it to sublet while they were in DC for his internship. There's a thread about if floating around somewhere. 

It looked like it was student housing at Harvard. Very nice townhouse kind of student housing. It still must be like the little old lady in the shoe with their progeny. I think they were trying to sublet it for the summer. 

[Rosie]

I agree, this makes me sad.  Five kids ages 6 and under has to be extremely difficult, with little opportunity to enjoy day-to-day life with her children.  And in a two-bedroom student apartment?  

No matter how beautiful the family looks in the Christmas card (and they do), that has to be very hard.

[Hisey]

Five kids in 6.5 years? Not even Michelle Duggar produced them at that rate (except for once, when she had five boys in six years). 

Where will they be in another 6.5 years? Will they have 10 kids? Meredith won't even be 35 then.

I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with having 5 kids back to back. But you usually need a few things to make it work well: family nearby, a helpful husband, enough money, a decent-sized house with a yard, a community of friends. Meredith has so few of these things. Her family is far away, so there's no grandma to help out. Her husband seems like a douche. Cambridge is not really known for it's family-friendly vibe, particularly around the Harvard area. It's true that soon enough they'll have money, and she may have friends in Cambridge, I don't know. But it sounds like an isolated and frustrating life, in that two-bedroom.

Since she almost always has a new baby, I don't see how she can even get out of the house to go to the park or the library with all those kids. And soon she'll have 3 in diapers (if Penelope is potty-training when the baby is born, I think that's even harder, personally). And soon she'll have to start home-schooling, and with Stephen a Rhodes Scholar, I'm sure he's setting the bar high.

If she had adopted all those kids and planned to adopt more, I would think it might work. But her body is going through a lot of stress, having 5 pregnancies in 6 years. I have to wonder if her parents are happy--they believe in all this stuff, they hate birth control, but they must see the toll it is taking on Meredith.

It's just sad. Unlike most of the fundies, she is an intelligent woman who had so much promise. She was becoming skilled at real estate, and could've been a realtor. She has a remarkable talent for baking and sewing. Nothing wrong with becoming a mom (I am one, myself) but becoming one in that situation sounds miserable.

Edited January 5, 2018 by Hisey

[hoipolloi]

Even if theyʻre not quiverfull, itʻs highly likely the babies will keep coming until thereʻs at least one more boy. Meredith deserved better but won't get it -- and is she also responsible for home-schooling the older kids?

Stephen is a pig. Hope he doesn't try to foist the piggishness on the rest of us through politics or elected judgeships. Bad enough that Meredith & his daughters will have to deal with it.

 

[Rosie]

1 hour ago, hoipolloi said:

Even if theyʻre not quiverfull, itʻs highly likely the babies will keep coming until thereʻs at least one more boy. Meredith deserved better but won't get it -- and is she also responsible for home-schooling the older kids?

Stephen is a pig. Hope he doesn't try to foist the piggishness on the rest of us through politics or elected judgeships. Bad enough that Meredith & his daughters will have to deal with it.

 

How is it possible to homeschool in the context of five kids ages six and under?

I know that fundies do it - I just don’t really understand how they do it.   Even if you agree that a six-year-old needs only a couple of hours of schooling a day, with four other siblings who are physically and otherwise demanding, I just don’t see how you would do that. 

Edited January 6, 2018 by Rosie

[teachergirl]

And what is so sad to me is how 1.) MA has some of the best public schools in the country and 2>) How much press\sure she must put herself under to do it all.  I wonder if she went to VA in December to bake so that they could allow him to study for finals... I personally think their children and photos look ridiculous, they are clearly trying to normalize some very ugly beliefs.

As far as homeschooling, I laugh because they are say how terrible us public school teachers are, how we don't allow creativity, movement, etc and all I EVER see them do is workbooks or projects that are assigned to all of the them, no matter the age. 

[Hane]

Let’s say some miracle happens and Trump leaves the White House, and more moderate Republicans make their presence known, resulting in far less popularity for ultra-conservative politics and religion.  Those Hammer kids would be in some exclusive private school before you could bat an eye. Stephen obviously only does what’s advantageous to him. 

I think he has a sociopathic streak in him, to swing from UU to conservative Presbyterian. (I know some longtime UUs who have left for mainstream Christian denominations, but they tend to be churches like UCC or Episcopalian.) I also recall a poster here who had met him and considered him to be a bit of a player.