Pester Them On Their Death Beds

[debrand]

This is from a thread on the Puritan Board .The quotes are from different people

puritanboard.com/f32/death-nonbelieving-relative-80200/

If I could, I'd like some advice on dealing with the death of a non-believing relative. He never confessed Christ during his life nor at his deathbed, although he did pre arrange to have a minister present upon his death and he was semi conscious as I spoke scripture to him and urged him to turn to God. (apparently, the hospital chaplain was a realy tactless jerk when they prounounced my brother-in-law as dead the first time)

and

I also have lost unbelieving friends, relatives and enemies. The worst boss I ever had was diagnosed with bladder cancer several years ago. He was passive-aggressive and made my life miserable. Yet, the Lord taught me to love him. I began to pray for him tenuously at first, and then in earnest when the cancer returned after his first round of treatments. Our relationship remained difficult, but I kept praying and came to truly love him. He told me in a threatening manner not to ever come quoting Bible verses or talk to him about God.

Finally, when he entered hospice and had his aging, ailing dog put down, I found the courage to share the gospel with him and gave him a Bible. He took it better than I had expected. I left the door open, letting him know he could call me at any time of the day or night and I would be happy to talk or just listen. He died several days later. I cried from the bottom of my heart over this man's death - not knowing if he repented and came to Christ or not. Sometimes I think of him and still cry. It seemed very strange not to pray for him after he was gone.

But, at his service, I met two other folks who were believers, whom God had sent into this man's life to share the gospel with him. None of us knew the others were in his life. He was almost a recluse and lived with his homosexual partner and dogs. A former employee who I had not met before, was praying for him and took him to lunch and shared the gospel with him.

Oh my goodness. Someone is alone and dying. Instead of honoring their wishes not to hear the bible but just be there as a friend, these guys hound the poor people.

[salex]

This is from a thread on the Puritan Board .The quotes are from different people

puritanboard.com/f32/death-nonbelieving-relative-80200/

and

Oh my goodness. Someone is alone and dying. Instead of honoring their wishes not to hear the bible but just be there as a friend, these guys hound the poor people.

A niece stood up at my mother in law's funeral and said she had made sure to ask my mother in law (her grandmother) if she was sure she was saved during her very fast few weeks between diagnosis and death. She said she believed she was, and we could all be assured she would be going to heaven. I thought it was freaking odd, since her grandmother had gone to the same church this niece had gone to for much of her life. Apparently my bil / this niece's father did more or less the same thing at some family funeral years ago---and they both may make a practice of it, I just don't go to that many funerals they go to.... but I thought it was pretty freaking arrogant.

[halfheartedheroine]

I could understand if he had been vague about religion and she offered something like, "I know we haven't talked about it much before, but we can read the Bible together if it would comfort you," but it sounds like he /definitely/ said "I'm not interested." It sounds like a soul-winning attempt at the expense of letting the man be comfortable on his deathbed. I mean, I'm not really supportive of soul-winning efforts on a person who might be a captive non-terminal audience, but a dying captive audience? Jeez.

[Dysfundamental]

It sounds like the person who invited clergy to his deathbed felt comfortable in his own religious beliefs, but the relative who wrote in doesn't approve of his denomination.

I was approached by street evangelists as I was leaving Easter service at my city's Episcopal cathedral, and I would have been angry if they weren't so ridiculous in telling me I was going to Hell because I hadn't accepted Jesus as my savior. As I was leaving a two-hour Easter service!

[debrand]

The relentless insistence that someone else accept your faith as true is one reason that I have trouble with trusting the good intentions of some types of Protestants.

I really wish that some other religious group would start using evangelical tactics on Christians that want to proselyte. It would be interesting to see how a fundamentalist or Christian evangelical would respond if someone tried to convert their dying, vulnerable parent to another faith

.

Our relationship remained difficult, but I kept praying and came to truly love him. He told me in a threatening manner not to ever come quoting Bible verses or talk to him about God.

Would she/he have stopped quoting the bible if the man hadn't gotten angry? Honestly, these type of people can be quite stealthy in their attempts to win a new convert.

Sadly, I can see my own family doing this to me when I die. :(

[Swamptribe]

The problem is, it's not about 'saving the sinner' for these types, it's about being able to brag that they saved the sinner. Even if they never needed saving in the first place. It is an ego trip for them "Look, I'm so holy I brought the sinner to Jesus on their deathbed".

[Emme]

I find that shit SO offensive.

[lawlifelgbt]

The way that one quote mentions the guy's "homosexual partner..." as if that automatically means he's unsaved and going to hell and awful...I think if fundies ever met a gay Christian, their little heads would explode!

[nokidsmom]

The problem is, it's not about 'saving the sinner' for these types, it's about being able to brag that they saved the sinner. Even if they never needed saving in the first place. It is an ego trip for them "Look, I'm so holy I brought the sinner to Jesus on their deathbed".

Exactly. Just as it's an ego trip for them to convert the living

[salex]

The way that one quote mentions the guy's "homosexual partner..." as if that automatically means he's unsaved and going to hell and awful...I think if fundies ever met a gay Christian, their little heads would explode!

No, because they are sure that any gay christians are fooled by the devil into believing they are saved, just like any non submissive women, or liberal Christians... and Roman Catholics. And the people down the street who are the same denomination, but don't follow the exact dogma.

[RachelB]

The way that one quote mentions the guy's "homosexual partner..." as if that automatically means he's unsaved and going to hell and awful...I think if fundies ever met a gay Christian, their little heads would explode!

I was struck by how lonely the PB writer thought the fellow's existence must have been. Living with a beloved partner and dear doggies, while avoiding emotional and spiritual auditing from people who evidently couldn't be trusted to respect his boundaries, doesn't sound lonely to me at all.

[cindyluvs24]

When my mother was admitted to the hospital a few years ago, she purposely put "none" under religion so that she wouldn't have to deal with any unwelcome visitors. Epic fail.

[Chowder Head]

How offensive to take the attention off the person that is dieing or died to announce that . What a way to show people you are an ass that instead of comforting someone and holding their hands or talking about pass family fun events or likes you have to push something on them and make them aggregated as they die!

[Conuly]

This is a perfect time for their "loved ones" to remember Voltaire's last words. When asked to renounce Satan on his deathbed, he responded that it was "no time to be making enemies".

[Trynn]

Jeez, these people on PB are NITPICKY! Like, there is a picture of them in the bible under the quote "strain at a gnat and swallow a camel!" Holy cow I can not stomach reading that for too long.

[RosyDaisy]

Our family minister was with us when Mama died, but not to coerce a deathbed confession. She accepted Christ a long time ago. He was there to offer comfort and support. He was also a good friend of the family.

[uber frau]

Jeez, these people on PB are NITPICKY! Like, there is a picture of them in the bible under the quote "strain at a gnat and swallow a camel!" Holy cow I can not stomach reading that for too long.

Welcome to conservative Calvinism. Where no minor doctrinal difference is too small to cause a church (or family) schism. (I'm not exaggerating when I say that my father's family split in half when their church split over doctrinal minutiae more than 60 years ago, and the two sides have barely acknowledged each other since. That was completely normal in both denominations the original church split into).

[fun2beme]

Slightly off topic, but a friend's husband is an over-the-top fanatical Catholic - gay basher, Starbucks boycotter, quotes the bible right and left but rarely does volunteer work, disagrees with Vatican 2, etc. He always held the firm belief that if you aren't Catholic, you will not go to heaven.

His father died two years ago and was never religious. I'm so tempted to ask if he thinks his dad (whom he was very close to) is in hell but don't want to start a rift with my friend. Still, I'm so curious to know if one's mindset changes when things hit close to home. I've seen this in some fundies whose family members died, and they always give the "who knows what was truly in their hearts" line.

[latraviata]

Welcome to conservative Calvinism. Where no minor doctrinal difference is too small to cause a church (or family) schism. (I'm not exaggerating when I say that my father's family split in half when their church split over doctrinal minutiae more than 60 years ago, and the two sides have barely acknowledged each other since. That was completely normal in both denominations the original church split into).

Holland is now a nice and secular country but it used to be very calvinistic. During the German occupation 1940/45, bombardments hunger, misery, fear and people dying, within the orthodox Reformed church a question arose wether 'the snake' had spoken or not. One minister said yes and another minister said no. That escalated to the point that people rolled fighting in the streets, families were torn apart and the (non)speaking snake caused a schism which still exists untill this very day.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reformed_C ... (Liberated)

[Rescinded and Mended]

This is from a thread on the Puritan Board .The quotes are from different people

puritanboard.com/f32/death-nonbelieving-relative-80200/

and

Oh my goodness. Someone is alone and dying. Instead of honoring their wishes not to hear the bible but just be there as a friend, these guys hound the poor people.

Is it wrong that I think that the relative conspired with the chaplain and set this up ahead of time just so he didn't have to put up with any of her God-bothering crap? ;) I mean, the first time? :lol: