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The privilege of being a good man's doormat


Koala

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I shit you not. She has outdone herself this time:

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/12/priveleged-to-be-doormat.html#idc-container

Most women, when they hear about submission, respond with, "Well, I sure don't want to be a doormat!" One of my readers recently wrote this on one of my posts ~

"Doormats serve a very specific and even edifying purpose, do they not? What if the doormat said, 'I don't want to be a doormat anymore' in a grumbling, complaining attitude? Then what would the floors of the house look like? All manner of dirt and filth from the outside world would be spread throughout our homes. But if the doormat takes pride in serving the home, filtering it of all the junk that would otherwise enter that home, then I say, 'God, would you allow me to count it a privilege to be a doormat for my home? Can I serve my husband so that before he enters his castle, he can swipe his shoes of all the outside mess he's stepped in all day? Would you let me count it a privilege to be that good man's doormat?"

Where in Scripture does it say to not be a doormat? This is what the Bible says about the God of the universe whom we are to model our lives after ~

Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bondservant, and being made in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

Philippians 2:5-9

We are so selfish, always protecting ourselves and our rights instead of becoming like Jesus, sacrificing our lives for others, and yes, even becoming a doormat for others. He is our example. Stop listening to the counsel of the unsaved or Christians who are not teaching God's Word. Listen to God's Word instead and model your life upon it.

God tells us the greatest of all is the servant of all. He calls us to be living sacrifices. {For all of you who are still concerned about physical abuse, NO, this does not include allowing physical abuse by a husband.} God left His throne in heaven to seek and save that which was lost, namely us. If He was a doormat for us, the least we can do is to be a happy, privileged doormat for our family.

From comments:

Lori, where does emotional abuse fit into a marriage and what God wants from me?

Lori's response:

He wants you to win your husband without a word, "Likewise {just as Christ suffered}, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that if any obey not the word they also may without the word be won by the conversation {lifestyle} of the wives." I Peter 3:1 Overcome evil with good, "Therefore if thine enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty give him drink: for in so doing you shall heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good." Romans 12:20,21 Pray for him consistently and for wisdom and strength for yourself.
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How much does her pastor know about this dreck she's peddling in the guise of "mentoring" younger women who are desperate for help?

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No, no, just no! Lori needs to read all of Romans 12. Wait, that might be painful for her because it speaks against everything she believes. Cherry picking at it's finest. I agree. She has outdone herself.

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She's really on a roll today. From her fb:

The modern child-behavior {so-called} experts fault us for using the divine enforcer {the rod}, but look at their children and the fruit of their 50-year reign of permissiveness. Their schools have metal detectors, graffiti on the walls, thousands of teachers assaulted every year, drug-crazed students, sex in the classrooms, and a great percentage of the kids never graduate. They cultivate foolishness...{Michael Pearl}

And from the comments:

My bathtub reading last night! (she had a heart here) the Pearls
:wtf:
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I am completely unsurprised at the thought that Lori, soaking in the tub, considers reading about whipping children a happy choice.

Disgusted, but not surprised.

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The minister's wife at my then church gave me almost the exact same advice when I first got married. Women like this disgust me. This kind of thinking leads to dysfunctional marriages full of resentment from both parties.

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"Doormats serve a very specific and even edifying purpose, do they not? What if the doormat said, 'I don't want to be a doormat anymore' in a grumbling, complaining attitude? Then what would the floors of the house look like?"

Who gives a fuck?

If I had a doormat that didn't want to be a doormat, and was self-aware enough to express this, I would encourage it in its ambitions, whatever they might be (to become a flying carpet, perhaps?) After all, a clean house is my responsibility, not its.

:roll:

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Where is the "sex in the classrooms"?!?!?!?!!

I have a feeling this is one of those urban legends that breed hysteria in fundies, kind of like the "rainbow parties" and teens wearing bracelets color-coded to the types of seckshual activities they are willing to engage in. :roll:

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Ugh, this is almost exactly how my fundie friend described her parents' marriage to me when I asked her what a Christian marriage should look like. Then I kept asking her 'but what does your father do for your mother?' and she honestly didn't seem to even grasp the concept.

I don't get it. Even if one person is 'in charge' in the relationship (not a good idea, imo, but everyone is different), both people need to be giving at least something to the other. You cannot fix the relationship by just becoming someone's 'doormat'.

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Ugh, this is almost exactly how my fundie friend described her parents' marriage to me when I asked her what a Christian marriage should look like. Then I kept asking her 'but what does your father do for your mother?' and she honestly didn't seem to even grasp the concept.

I don't get it. Even if one person is 'in charge' in the relationship (not a good idea, imo, but everyone is different), both people need to be giving at least something to the other. You cannot fix the relationship by just becoming someone's 'doormat'.

But you may stop the beatings and other abuse if you stop fighting--isn't that the whole Pearl method? Beat them into submission and you don't have to beat them any more? I think that is what the she is suggesting... if you just become a complete blank and live with the crap, the abuse will stop and everyone will be "happy." I figure the Pearls book in the tub is like her reading porn--getting off to the idea of physical abuse.

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Ummm, shouldn't Ken not be tracking in mud and filth in the first place?

Sheesh, Lori Alexander is one fucked up monster

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"Doormats serve a very specific and even edifying purpose, do they not? What if the doormat said, 'I don't want to be a doormat anymore' in a grumbling, complaining attitude? Then what would the floors of the house look like?"

Who gives a fuck?

If I had a doormat that didn't want to be a doormat, and was self-aware enough to express this, I would encourage it in its ambitions, whatever they might be (to become a flying carpet, perhaps?) After all, a clean house is my responsibility, not its.

:roll:

You hit on the reason that the analogy, like almost every analogy that fundies use, doesn't work. Women have consciousness and door mats are inanimate objects. The fact that comparing women to brainless objects makes sense to a fundie says something very negative about their view of women.

You are far braver than me. If my door mat spoke, I'd run screaming from my front porch. :shock:

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"Doormats serve a very specific and even edifying purpose, do they not? What if the doormat said, 'I don't want to be a doormat anymore' in a grumbling, complaining attitude? Then what would the floors of the house look like?"

Who gives a fuck?

If I had a doormat that didn't want to be a doormat, and was self-aware enough to express this, I would encourage it in its ambitions, whatever they might be (to become a flying carpet, perhaps?) After all, a clean house is my responsibility, not its.

:roll:

AND I'd try to get Animal Planet interested in filming a segment on it.

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"Doormats serve a very specific and even edifying purpose, do they not? What if the doormat said, 'I don't want to be a doormat anymore' in a grumbling, complaining attitude? Then what would the floors of the house look like?"

Who gives a fuck?

If I had a doormat that didn't want to be a doormat, and was self-aware enough to express this, I would encourage it in its ambitions, whatever they might be (to become a flying carpet, perhaps?) After all, a clean house is my responsibility, not its.

:roll:

There's a great song by They Might Be Giants called "I Am Not Your Broom," in which a broom declares "I've had enough, I'm shaking off/These chains of servitude."

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Lori, honey, the first rule of kink is to never involve unconsenting strangers in your scenes.

This.

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I don't have a door mat. I'm not sure what this says about my house or my marriage.

Lori really needs to go back and reread ALL biblical passages relating to marriage, not just "women submit to your husbands". Simply finishing that chapter would help "Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church." Christ loved the church by serving it and by dying for it. I wonder what Ken does to serve Lori?

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