Boundary Crossing: Why Lori loves Phil

[Koala]

For starters, the title of the post is enough to make a normal person want to gag: Phil Robertson ~ Head Of His Household

Lori writes:

Phil Robertson met his grandson's girlfriend. His grandson was going to take her on a date. Phil told them to go fishing and then he went with them. While they were fishing, he told them to not have sex. It leads to gonorrhea, syphilis, etc. He told them they should not touch each other anywhere but the neck and above until they signed on the dotted line. He said a peck on the cheek is just fine. At dinner that night when the whole family was gathered together, they bowed their heads in prayer and he prayed that his grandson and girlfriend would stay pure during their dating years.

Phil Robertson is the head of his household. He speaks Truth to his children and grandchildren whenever he has a chance. He warns them of the dangers ahead and tries to steer them on the narrow path. He is not afraid of embarrassing them if it means protecting them from future harm.

We saw many parents afraid of their children. They were afraid to tell them to not see naughty movies. They were afraid to speak to them much about sex and its consequences outside of marriage. They thought if they were too strict with them, they would rebel. And they would never dream about praying for their sexual purity in front of the whole family.

I admire Phil Robertson for not being afraid of doing any of those things. Children and teenagers need guidance, especially being given by their fathers, the heads of the household. They need continual reminders of what is right and what is wrong in this filthy society. They need strong, protective boundaries. If you are not continually teaching and reminding them and even praying about it, they are going to be easily sucked into the cesspool around them.

Does this woman ever tire of talking about sex ALL of the time? One would almost thing that her mind was the cesspool and not the big ol' evil world.

On an intellectual level I'd love to hear how Phil came to his conclusion that a kiss on the cheek was okay, but that's as far as it should go. Scripture reference please Phil? :roll: Surely it's not random bullshit pulled from the book of 1 Phil. :pull-hair:

PS~ I hope the girlfriend ran for it. Who the fuck talks like this at a family dinner? :evil-eye: To me personally, it's incredibly creepy.

[keen23]

Phil is a hypocrite. He totally ran around on Miss Kay, drank, did drugs, and all that, for YEARS before he found Jebus and got saved.

[Hisey]

I hate it when oldsters see a teen couple and automatically assume their relationship is about sex, sex, sex. It says so much about the older person.

That happened to me when I took my just-13 year old to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor (a woman) started rattling off about all these intimate sexual things my daughter should not do, and all the specifics of what kind of condoms she should use if she did do them.

My daughter would love a boyfriend and is quite interested in boys. But believe me, her mind has not gone to the places that this crazy doctor brought her to. It was a violation of my daughter's privacy and innocence.

In the same way, a young couple is trying to fish and this horny older man is breathing down their neck and talking about sex. Probably turning himself on at the same time. Now who has the dirty mind there?

[Rachel333]

Phil is a hypocrite. He totally ran around on Miss Kay, drank, did drugs, and all that, for YEARS before he found Jebus and got saved.

I don't think that necessarily makes him a hypocrite unless he's still doing those things. Is a former drug addict telling people "don't do drugs" a hypocrite? In that case, I think their past gives their message more legitimacy.

Still, this whole thing makes me want to gag.

[FloraKitty35]

I realize that sex is not the end all and be all, but Lori really needs to get laid.

[PopRox]

I realize that sex is not the end all and be all, but Lori really needs to get laid.

Preferably by someone who truly respects her and cares about her; rather than treating her like a walking glory hole like I'm sure Ken does.

I wonder what Lori would be like if she had married a nice, caring man instead.

[Koala]

From the comments:

Lori,

I think it's commendable any time a father-figure takes a younger man aside to teach, guide and instruct him in the ways of biblical purity of heart and body. However, I feel that the first person for this job is the father himself. His daddy did or did not teach him those things. When the son was ready, he left his father and mother to cleave to his own wife and weave a family with her. It's his turn as a father to his children, as the head of his own household, to teach his son biblical manhood and godliness.

Phil Robertson is a patriarch but he is not the head of his sons' households. His sons left their father and mother and wove a household with their own wives. Phil is the head of Kay, but I disagree that he is the head of the household in which his grandchildren live.

Phil taught his sons, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." Now it's his sons' turn to establish the same for their own houses. I believe wholeheartedly in what Grandpa Phil did, but I believe his sons are the head of their own households.

Lori's response:

I was thinking about grandchildren biblically. There are no grandchildren in the Bible. Grandchildren are considered children. Abraham was told he would be the father of many nations. Maybe I gave the wrong title to this post but I believe grandparents should be very verbal in teaching their grandchildren truth just as much as their parents. Whenever we have the chance, we will be teaching our grandchildren about God and His ways as we did our own children. Truth is very powerful coming from the patriarch of the family.

Huh? So now Lori's grandchildren are her children, and she plans to be just as "verbal" as their parents? Hell.No.

[mypsychoticself]

I hate it when oldsters see a teen couple and automatically assume their relationship is about sex, sex, sex. It says so much about the older person.

That happened to me when I took my just-13 year old to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor (a woman) started rattling off about all these intimate sexual things my daughter should not do, and all the specifics of what kind of condoms she should use if she did do them.

My daughter would love a boyfriend and is quite interested in boys. But believe me, her mind has not gone to the places that this crazy doctor brought her to. It was a violation of my daughter's privacy and innocence.

In the same way, a young couple is trying to fish and this horny older man is breathing down their neck and talking about sex. Probably turning himself on at the same time. Now who has the dirty mind there?

I would have been so traumatized if a doctor did that to me at 13. It was bad enough when a doctor decided to give me a breast exam without telling me what was going on (she thought I'd had one before).

[FloraKitty35]

Preferably by someone who truly respects her and cares about her; rather than treating her like a walking glory hole like I'm sure Ken does.

I wonder what Lori would be like if she had married a nice, caring man instead.

Exactly! :)

[dairyfreelife]

From the comments:

Lori's response:

Huh? So now Lori's grandchildren are her children, and she plans to be just as "verbal" as their parents? Hell.No.

For some reason her comment doesn't surprise me at all. I have zero trouble believing she and Ken meddle into their childrens parenting and I can totally see her as a monster-in-law from hell.

[SPHASH]

I realize that sex is not the end all and be all, but Lori really needs to get laid.

Dammit you beat me to it! I was just about to say Lori needs to get laid.

[Hisey]

I would have been so traumatized if a doctor did that to me at 13. It was bad enough when a doctor decided to give me a breast exam without telling me what was going on (she thought I'd had one before).

Thank you for saying that. My husband doesn't get why I was so furious. But I was. I still am, actually, and it happened four months ago. Fortunately, my daughter just thought the doctor was "weird." I can see how an unexpected breast exam would also be shocking.

[Vex]

I hate it when oldsters see a teen couple and automatically assume their relationship is about sex, sex, sex. It says so much about the older person.

That happened to me when I took my just-13 year old to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor (a woman) started rattling off about all these intimate sexual things my daughter should not do, and all the specifics of what kind of condoms she should use if she did do them.

I agree that it's really inappropriate when doctors break into random sex talk, and I think it says quite a bit about their mentality. Once I went to the doctor (not my usual GP) and he asked if I wanted the free cervical cancer vaccine. He said that I should have it if I were sexually active. I said I'd already had it, although my risk level was very low since I don't have sex with men. He asked if I was gay and I said yes, then he started to go on at length about the 'fun sex toys' (his exact words) that I could use.

I was really disturbed by that. Those people are the pervs, not the regular person on the street.

[JesusFightClub]

That happened to me when I took my just-13 year old to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor (a woman) started rattling off about all these intimate sexual things my daughter should not do, and all the specifics of what kind of condoms she should use if she did do them.

My daughter would love a boyfriend and is quite interested in boys. But believe me, her mind has not gone to the places that this crazy doctor brought her to. It was a violation of my daughter's privacy and innocence.

I'm sad this happened to your daughter, because it sounds as if it was really unnerving! Unfortunately, though, I see why the doctor probably did it (and it's not because she's a perv like Phil).

I've worked in the public sector for a long time and have had jobs where I have to ask questions like "Can you read and write OK?" "Are you presently under treatment for an alcohol or drug addiction?" "Have you ever been convicted of a crime?" "You've got a break of three years between jobs - can you tell me what happened there?" and a host of other personal questions, such as I've had people break down in tears at answering. And quite often I get an outraged "How DARE you!".

Thing is, I have to. I can't take into account "Hmm, Ms Smith looks very middle-class so I'm sure she's not addicted to alcohol." "Mr Jones seems like a lovely man, I won't ask him about the break in his CV. I'm sure it was only for the best reasons. Perhaps he was looking after his sick mother." This relies on a series of false assumptions (middle-class people are never addicts, nice people have never been to the jail) and tbh, if I do any assuming at all, it has to be assuming the worst scenario rather than the best.

Same with your doctor. She's assuming that girls who are at the stage your daughter is at have had sex or are contemplating it, probably because she sees a lot of girls who have/are. She can assume they are virgins and respect their privacy in that way, but then she might miss a lot of problems and an opportunity to give advice that could be sorely needed by a sexually active 13 year old. She also can't take mum's description "My daughter is not interested in such things" as gospel because while I am sure it is true in your case, for many other mums, it wouldn't be. (Having said that, it does sound like she got the tone horribly wrong).

[apple1]

Same with your doctor. She's assuming that girls who are at the stage your daughter is at have had sex or are contemplating it, probably because she sees a lot of girls who have/are. She can assume they are virgins and respect their privacy in that way, but then she might miss a lot of problems and an opportunity to give advice that could be sorely needed by a sexually active 13 year old. She also can't take mum's description "My daughter is not interested in such things" as gospel because while I am sure it is true in your case, for many other mums, it wouldn't be. (Having said that, it does sound like she got the tone horribly wrong).

I agree with all of this.

There are ways to approach the subject and inappropriate ways to approach the subject. But primary care/pediatricians really do need to approach this subject with their patients. The kids need to know the potential outcomes of various actions.

I work in a major pediatric hospital. Before X ray, imaging, surgical procedures, or admission on any girl 10 years old or greater, a pregnancy test is done by hospital policy. It is extremely distressing how many positives there are.

The doc needs to be able to offer the appropriate advice and BC if appropriate. And it is totally true that parents can be in denial about whether or not their kids are sexually active.

It's a very sensitive topic, and one that has to be approached in just the right way. (I can also remember being extremely offended when I was young and a doc just assumed that I was sexually active while I was still a virgin).