Lori promotes the J'Slaves' dating advice

[lilwriter85]

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/07/dating-with-purpose.html

The Duggar daughters were interviewed on their show and asked about dating. They said their parents taught them to date with a purpose, the purpose being marriage. This is pretty much what we taught our children.

The dating that is done today is silly. It is simply a means to satisfy one's own desires at a young age. Two young people get emotionally involved which usually leads to physical involvement with no thought of the future or marriage.

Heartbreak and games ensue along with loss of purity and pleasing the Lord. We encouraged our children to do things in groups in high school. Be friends with members of the opposite sex and use that time to figure out what qualities they wanted in a future spouse.

As they got older, they started dating with the purpose of figuring out if that person was "the one." They didn't simply just try someone out for fun, playing with their feelings, and leaving a trail of heartbreak. When I think back of my high school dating years, nothing much good came out of them even though I was fairly strict in my principles of conduct.

I dated because it was fun and everyone else was doing it. Whether you break someone else's heart or they break yours, it is no fun. Sure, even when you get older, you may find one you think is "the one" and get your heart broken. We can not escape broken hearts entirely but the older and more mature you are when you begin dating, the less chance you have of breaking hearts or having your heart broken.

When my children are in a position to marry, they usually date someone several times and know quite quickly if they are not "the one" and move on. Watching your grown up, mature, and godly children find their spouse and fall in love is a wonderful thing. Both of my married children knew quite quickly that they had found the one.

They sought God eagerly for the spouse He had chosen for them. If He can save our soul from death, He can certainly chose your spouse if you ask Him to and they all wanted Him to chose their spouse. He does a much better job than we can possibly ever do.

[HereticHick]

And how is the J'Slaves' dating advice working out for them, Lori?

[docmom]

They sought God eagerly for the spouse He had chosen for them. If He can save our soul from death, He can certainly chose your spouse if you ask Him to and they all wanted Him to chose their spouse. He does a much better job than we can possibly ever do.

I guess God doesn't like Lori too much then...

Or maybe he was just preventing other innocents from being saddled with either of them.

[FJismyheadship]

Dear Lori

Shut up

[AnywhereButHere]

...We encouraged our children to do things in groups in high school. Be friends with members of the opposite sex and use that time to figure out what qualities they wanted in a future spouse.

As they got older, they started dating with the purpose of figuring out if that person was "the one." They didn't simply just try someone out for fun, playing with their feelings, and leaving a trail of heartbreak. When I think back of my high school dating years, nothing much good came out of them even though I was fairly strict in my principles of conduct.

...When my children are in a position to marry, they usually date someone several times and know quite quickly if they are not "the one" and move on. Watching your grown up, mature, and godly children find their spouse and fall in love is a wonderful thing. Both of my married children knew quite quickly that they had found the one.

.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Why take advice from someone who has never actually dated? I wouldnt trust their dating advice, theyve never been in a relationship and have no concept of healthy relationships. Although then again, it is not their dating advice, because as far as Michelle and Jimbob are concerned, they are not people and dont have a right to an opinion. All their "opinions" are what their parents have planted in their minds and are forcing them to say.

The only reason they said that their parents taught them to date with a purpose, which was marriage, was because "One day our parents will choose us a husband, but not now because our mom needs to keep us as slaves as she hates kids and chores" would sound too weird to viewers.

[ari_belle]

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/07/dating-with-purpose.html

Yeah, lori, but it takes months, years to find out if you are compatible with someone, or if that person could be/is abusive. I was engaged to a man I was with for two and a half years before I figured out he was controlling me. We lived together. He seemed perfect in the beginning. If I had been one of your kids, I would have married him, probably a few months in. And I would have had to get a divorce instead of just walking out the door...something your kids would feel they couldn't do.

[ThatSnark]

Just a few grudging points to Lori for facilitating real dating: notice that she allows them to give it a try and move on if the person isn't "the one." This is a lot different than these courtships where they're not even in the same area code unless there's an engagement ring and ruler. It's still very flawed, but at least her kids are allowed to go out on casual get-to-know-you dates, instead of filtering it through Dad's Inquisition.

[Mela99]

And how is the J'Slaves' dating advice working out for them, Lori?

I'll take their advice seriously when they actually DO IT.

[lilwriter85]

Just a few grudging points to Lori for facilitating real dating: notice that she allows them to give it a try and move on if the person isn't "the one." This is a lot different than these courtships where they're not even in the same area code unless there's an engagement ring and ruler. It's still very flawed, but at least her kids are allowed to go out on casual get-to-know-you dates, instead of filtering it through Dad's Inquisition.

I agree with this. I'm not a Lori fan, but she at least gave her kids a bit more freedom than Mullet and Boob. I sometimes find it odd that Lori likes the Duggar so much, but if they actually knew her they wouldn't like her. Lori in some days doesn't fit in some of the hardcore fundies like the Duggars. She fits in more with the Sunshine Mary and VF fundie lite types.

[Peas n carrots]

I don't get it, so Lori essentially let her kids date, even though she says they never dated? LOLWUT?

[copper]

Sigh. Lori did not "basically do" what the Dugger girls recommended. Her kids were allowed to have friends of the opposite sex. It sounds like they didn't have chaperone rules, or have to go everywhere by twos, either. The Duggers would think what her kids did was wrong.

[julie paradox]

I get the impression that the fundies think "dating" means "making out with someone even though you know it's not going to last more than a week, if that".

How prevalent is this idea? - because when I was growing up I assumed that I wouldn't (continue to) go out with someone if I knew I would not marry them. Dating with a purpose, in fact. I also assumed that everyone else was doing the same thing, but I was officially A Bit Weird (seriously, I think I may have mild Asperger's) so I have no idea how true this was.

[Adrienne83]

Call me crazy, but I still can't get over the J'Slaves giving dating "advice" when they don't actually date! That's like me giving law advice when I'm not actually a lawyer. Lame. :roll:

[Drina Adams]

Of all things, to take advice on dating from women who, as far as I can see, have never dated in their lives, is just ridiculous. I didn't 'date with a purpose', neither did I sleep around - not that that matters anyway. If I wasn't compatible with someone, I stopped seeing them. No big fuss. Me and my husband knew we'd get married very soon after we met, but that had nothing to do with trusting God or following the 'sage' advice of the Duggars, it was because we'd dated enough to know when things were right.

[lilwriter85]

Call me crazy, but I still can't get over the J'Slaves giving dating "advice" when they don't actually date! That's like me giving law advice when I'm not actually a lawyer. Lame. :roll:

I agree. I thought it was ridiculous when the J'Slaves gave dating or relationship advice at some conference last year. There are audio clips of it on some website.

[crazyforkate]

On the other hand, one could take their parenting advice pretty seriously...

[ILoveJellybeans]

Yeah, Id trust their parenting advice over Michelle and Jimbobs. Dating advice, not so much. They cant give advice on something theyve never done. Although in fundieland, it doesnt matter, their almightly cult leader gives loads of advice on marriage and childrearing, yet he has never been married or had any children.

[Hane]

I've raised one (very easy-to-handle, healthy, neurotypical) kid, so I think I should go on a speaking tour, touting myself as an expert on raising large numbers of kids who are on the autism spectrum and who have multiple disabilities.

I have been married and divorced twice, so I'd make a phenomenal marriage counselor, too.

[ljohnson2006]

The J'Slaves giving advice is like getting parenting advice from Casey Anthony. You can't give advice about something you've never done. RIP Caylee Marie. <3