Shaming Shorts Wearing Tweens

[Peas n carrots]

I found this rage enducing. The girls in the story are just getting to a sensitive age, and to be publically humiliated by the principal is uncalled for. If the girls were breaking a dress code, it would have been far more appropriate to take them aside and speak to them that way.

http://www.suntimes.com/21220563-761/cps-parents-upset-that-principal-shamed-girls-said-shorts-too-short.html

Parents gathered at a Northwest Side school Monday night to express outrage over a Chicago Public School principal’s method of publicly shaming several female students who wore shorts she deemed too short on the final day of school last month.

At Decatur Classical School’s end-of-year awards ceremony in the school’s West Rogers Park gym, Principal Susan J. Kukielka said she had one last award to hand out, according to parents at the meeting. Decatur is a selective-enrollment kindergarten through sixth-grade school.

“She asked all the girls to stand up and said, ‘We have one final award, it’s an award of distinction, and she walked around the room and pointed out seven girls and told all the other girls to sit down,†said Aaron Greven, whose 10-year-old daughter, Ella, was one of the girls left standing. “And then she said, ‘These are not girls of distinction because their shorts are too short.’ â€

Another school administrator then explained that if this happened at a North Side high school that they could attend, the girls might be made to wear “sweatpants of shame.â€

“My daughter tried her best not to cry,†Greven said after Monday night’s Local School Council meeting. “She cried later as she told her mother what happened. My daughter doesn’t even choose her own clothes. We buy her clothes. She was wearing sports shorts that day. It’s ridiculous.â€

Members of the school’s Local School Council, a group of parents, teachers and members of the community, said there is no dress code at the school, but announcements over the school’s public address system several days earlier noted that shorts should not be higher than the fingertips when the arms are placed straight down the sides of the body.

[ILoveJellybeans]

What an asshole. Its cruel to single out a child like this and shame her for wearing too short shorts. If she was wearing something against the dress code, it would be way better to speak to her in private. Teaching/disciplining/parenting a child is not about shaming or humiliating them, its about teaching them. Nobody learns through being shamed, it just damages their self esteem.

[Minerva]

Publicly shaming children is never ok, but publicly shaming girls because of what they're wearing is all kinds of terrible. Also, school dress codes cause girls to be scrutinized and shamed disproportionately. And often over completely non-sexual things like shoulders. And often with the justification that boys can't control their lust and that girls are responsible for boys paying attention in class. I get that dress codes are necessary, but they don't have to be over the top, and they don't have to be about shaming girls. :angry-teeth:

Also, when I was in school, I noticed that the dress code put (often male) teachers in a position of deciding whether a minor girl's outfit was too sexy. It was all kinds of awkward and uncomfortable and creepy.

[Peas n carrots]

Publicly shaming children is never ok, but publicly shaming girls because of what they're wearing is all kinds of terrible. Also, school dress codes cause girls to be scrutinized and shamed disproportionately. And often over completely non-sexual things like shoulders. And often with the justification that boys can't control their lust and that girls are responsible for boys paying attention in class. I get that dress codes are necessary, but they don't have to be over the top, and they don't have to be about shaming girls. :angry-teeth:

Also, when I was in school, I noticed that the dress code put (often male) teachers in a position of deciding whether a minor girl's outfit was too sexy. It was all kinds of awkward and uncomfortable and creepy.

Yes. I like the school uniforms where all kids where polos with either slacks or shorts. Both boys and girls can wear them, and they look OK on most body types.

It's just shocking because it was just so unnecessary. The lack of tact along is galling...but even worse involving minor girls.

[PinkPrincess0213]

Yes. I like the school uniforms where all kids where polos with either slacks or shorts. Both boys and girls can wear them, and they look OK on most body types.

It's just shocking because it was just so unnecessary. The lack of tact along is galling...but even worse involving minor girls.

This is exactly what I was thinking.

[Mama Mia]

How horrible ! There is no justification for that. And making those poor girls think they were actually getting an award of some kind and then humiliating them like that? I hope they are fired they shouldn't be allowed near children.

[ThatSnark]

This is about the worst way they could have handled this. Ugh.

[Mela99]

Have they responded as to why this was perfectly fine and acceptable and they had the bestest of intentions?

[bananacat]

Taking youth to the side to privately condescend to them isn't much better, honestly. Hey, what if instead we just taught boys to be respectful of girls regardless of what they're wearing?

[FJismyheadship]

In my middle school the rule was no higher than a dollar from your knee. They would actually take a dollar bill to measure.

[Lainey]

Taking youth to the side to privately condescend to them isn't much better, honestly. Hey, what if instead we just taught boys to be respectful of girls regardless of what they're wearing?

Yeah. If there was a dress code in my public high school, I was not aware of it (the Catholic school I attended for a time had one, though). And I wore very short shorts to school (er, the public one). Nobody said a word. I was not the only one. And the world didn't end. Imagine that!

[Mama Mia]

In my experience boys get in just as much trouble for dress code violations. My sons who were in middle school about a decade ago would get in trouble for sagging.

[JesusFightClub]

That is stupid and horrible. Those poor girls!

There are better ways to handle, er, breaches of school uniform. I wore a uniform all through school (it's normal in Scotland) and the uniform rule was simple:

White shirt

School tie

Black skirt or trousers

Jumper (sweatshirt?) in school colours for cold weather

Proper shoes, not trainers

Shorts, trainers and tshirt for PE

If you didn't wear your uniform to school and there wasn't a good reason for that, then a letter went to your parents. If it was because mum and/or dad couldn't afford a uniform for you, the school had a special fund and they could buy you a uniform for school. My pal had a uniform via that method, it totally wasn't embarrassing and no-one needed to know if you didn't tell them. No slut-shaming required.

All the kids sulked about the uniform and tried to customise it :D but the teachers just turned a blind eye as long as the essentials were in place. That's what the teachers should have done there, instead of making 10 year old girls shy about their clothing and their bodies. :roll:

[dawbs]

That is stupid and horrible. Those poor girls!

There are better ways to handle, er, breaches of school uniform. I wore a uniform all through school (it's normal in Scotland) and the uniform rule was simple:

White shirt

School tie

Black skirt or trousers

Jumper (sweatshirt?) in school colours for cold weather

Proper shoes, not trainers

Shorts, trainers and tshirt for PE*snip*

I'e said my piece repeatedly on why, locally, we should switch to something like this (it is done in parts of the US). In HS, I wouldn't have wanted a uniform (or at least I didn't think I wanted one)--free expression and all that.

But it'll not happen here. I wish it would--I'd LOVE to buy my kid khakis and tops and call it all good :lol:.

Although it was amusing bringing Spider-girl-ballerina to the pet store this weekend. And later I took galoshes (there was no rain) and sunhat wearing fire-fighter -explorer-adventure tiger to the grocery store.

[MrsYoungie]

I'm sure the girls will be fine. I mean, it's not like any adults are haunted by the searing shame of an event from when they were 11 years old, right? RIGHT??????? Fuck.

Fuck this school. Fuck this principal. Fuck whoever agreed with her that this was in any sense a legitimate thing to do at graduation. I'm seething with anger right now.

[Diana]

i had heard about spanish exchange students that were shocked to learn that shorts and some kind of t-shirts were banned at school and even bikinis were frowned by the school or family with whom they stayed.

I have attended a catholic school but the teachers were way more relaxed about dress code, i only remember a time when undies showing was in fashion that they sayed in general to the class that it was not appropiate in a school to show your tanga, but in a relaxed tone without shaming anybody and was to both boys and girls.

[ari_belle]

I'm sick of this ladyparts-shaming bullsh*t. My school was like this, and thankfully I never got called out on anything, but my little sister did when she was a senior in high school. She used to wear pretty low-cut shirts and I guess someone complained to a teacher that she was "distracting" because of her shirt. The [female] teacher pulled her aside and basically said, "I did get a complaint, but we both know that you're fine. Just letting you know." My sister was a straight A student with a 4.5 average. She shouldn't have had to worry about her clothing. She was too busy changing the world, being an artist, and being an activist.

[Marianne]

:head-desk:

How a TEEN can do this ? When I was teen, I was in a 1 700 students school. ALL wore shorts. All. I know this is different in France and in America (I can't imagine if one day we have a (real, a believer) christian student... well, we never have this. ), but, hey, teenager ! When you are young, you are not like this, please !

[louisa05]

The finger tips rule is ridiculous anyway. It depends on the person's proportions. I remember at the Christian school I taught at, one very petite girl with a long torso could wear shorts that barely covered her butt and still meet the finger tips rule, while one tall girl with a short waist and long arms had to have longer shorts than most other girls. That makes no sense. Some teachers suggested a less complicated and potentially variable rule--for example, if the shorts hit the top of the knee when standing, call it good. But the principal wanted to dictate exact lengths and have us with rulers measuring kids' shorts. Absurd waste of educational time.

[Claddagh]

I'm seriously headdesking right now. My first grade teacher used to pull shit like this and it still gets me anxious if I have to go out in public. She didn't like my parents and I didn't fit in so I was often picked on by her.

The thing that should've been done is the girl quietly gets pulled aside and told what's wrong. You quietly call the parents and explain to them what's wrong with X, Y, and Z, and be done with it. Shaming the poor girl was the worst way to go about it.

[JesusFightClub]

I'e said my piece repeatedly on why, locally, we should switch to something like this (it is done in parts of the US). In HS, I wouldn't have wanted a uniform (or at least I didn't think I wanted one)--free expression and all that.

But it'll not happen here. I wish it would--I'd LOVE to buy my kid khakis and tops and call it all good :lol:.

Although it was amusing bringing Spider-girl-ballerina to the pet store this weekend. And later I took galoshes (there was no rain) and sunhat wearing fire-fighter -explorer-adventure tiger to the grocery store.

This is seriously cute :)

Small and Smaller do the same thing (only Small has to wear uniform Monday to Friday) on the weekends. They're prone to dressing up as pirates, bizarrely. So I can take a small child to the shops with pirate hats on. Yes, me and them.

One is still convinced she's a boy so she dresses as a boy. This is fair enough but she has decided I'm a man as well (I'm really not, honest). This is because I shave my head and wear army boots. So I get demands to "SHOW ME YOUR LADY BITS". In public. Loudly.

:shifty-kitty:

[OkToBeTakei]

I'e said my piece repeatedly on why, locally, we should switch to something like this (it is done in parts of the US). In HS, I wouldn't have wanted a uniform (or at least I didn't think I wanted one)--free expression and all that.

But it'll not happen here. I wish it would--I'd LOVE to buy my kid khakis and tops and call it all good :lol:.

Although it was amusing bringing Spider-girl-ballerina to the pet store this weekend. And later I took galoshes (there was no rain) and sunhat wearing fire-fighter -explorer-adventure tiger to the grocery store.

Echo my horror for these poor girls. I'd go mental scripto at that teacher.

Uniform is just the norm here dawbs. I wore it, my Mother wore it my kid wears it. Hers is quite strict and rather horrific :lol: I mean what 10 yr old WANTS to wear green knee socks.

My view is that self expression is overrated school clothing wise, but bear in mind I grew up this way. It causes peer pressure and as JFC said uniform is levelling for the haves and have nots as grants are not public knowledge. Self expression is for 'non-uniform days' generally charity and oh boy do they love planning what to wear :lol: Parties and weekends. I adore the uniform it is so prescriptive even winter and summer jacket that the only non school branded item my child wears is probs her knickers. It is not expensive and I enjoy spending the money it saves me on the things she likes.

JFC did you have to wear black gym shoes :lol:

[JesusFightClub]

Yes, black plimsoles (spelling) ;D

[OkToBeTakei]

Yes, black plimsoles (spelling) ;D

Do you remember the wee elastic insert at the front? NOW they have velcro....SO modern :lol:

[SquirrelySquirrel]

The finger tips rule is ridiculous anyway. It depends on the person's proportions. I remember at the Christian school I taught at, one very petite girl with a long torso could wear shorts that barely covered her butt and still meet the finger tips rule, while one tall girl with a short waist and long arms had to have longer shorts than most other girls. That makes no sense. Some teachers suggested a less complicated and potentially variable rule--for example, if the shorts hit the top of the knee when standing, call it good. But the principal wanted to dictate exact lengths and have us with rulers measuring kids' shorts. Absurd waste of educational time.

My eldest niece is tall and gangly right now, and she was forced to change on her first day of middle school last year because her shorts were too short, according to the fingertip rule, and she was wearing Bermuda shorts! She can't help having very long legs and arms and she shouldn't have been made to feel self-conscious about it. She was so embarrassed to be called out in front of her friends, and she ended up having to wear her gym shorts. I can't even imagine being called out like the girls in the article were. That's some kind of abuse.