I do feel sorry for them

[countressrascal]

Last night at 11:52pm I delivered the 7th child to a 32 years old, LDS fundie. Last week when she was in the clinic for a check up, she said this is her last it is too overhelming with all these children, her husband working out of town and church responsiblies. Explained her options and suggested that she talk to her husband about it, then there was fear in her eyes. She explained that they have never had any type of discussion regarding sex. That got me thinking - she got married at 19 after a 6 month courtship in which they were never alone, first baby was 11 months later and she has one every 18-24 months since. They have never had alone time to get to know each other. This is her first choice in her life and it scares her. I will help her though this and it will all work out, I have done it many times.

[YPestis]

That's incredibly sad that this girl has never made choices in regards to her own life. It's tough having so many kids. It's tougher the choice was never her's to begin with. I often wonder what happens to girls who find they are not made for the quiverful life. They can't "return" the kids, and they are offered so little support by their church and social group for advocating birth control. For fundie women, their fertility, so idolized, turns into a ticking time bomb. What a sad way to live.

[acheronbeach]

She explained that they have never had any type of discussion regarding sex.

That is so f'ed up I can't even imagine it. Does this woman have any discussion with her husband about important decisions?

[moreorlessnu]

Does this means he says nothing, reaches for her, she complies, and nothing is said? Ever??

[yetanothermeg]

If that were me I would get an IUD or Essure or something like, something in office that he wouldn't find out about (if she is scared he will prevent her from controlling her fertility).

[yetanothermeg]

Last night at 11:52pm I delivered the 7th child to a 32 years old, LDS fundie.

By LDS fundie do you just mean a regular member of the LDS church or like a polygamist? Just wondering cause I never thought of regular Mormons as fundies. I grew up as a Catholic around a lot of LDS people and except for the no tea/coffee thing they were just like us, whereas the evangelicals were always telling us we Catholics were going to hell, not real Christians, etc.

[Wolfie]

If that were me I would get an IUD or Essure or something like, something in office that he wouldn't find out about (if she is scared he will prevent her from controlling her fertility).

Well, never had need of an IUD, but I am pretty sure that he'd feel the wire. And in any case, it might be worse off for her if she just suddenly stops having kids- he might wonder if something is up. As bad as it might seem, she needs to learn to speak up for herself, or abuse could get worse. Lying is never good for a relationship. (except in extreme abuse, but in this case I can totally see going behind his back backfiring on her.)

(and yes, that includes the women who say that they're on BC but aren't to trick their partner into another child. Not good either.)

[meow139]

Poor woman. Maybe she will realize how her life is becoming so f'd up and get her and her kids a real, non fundie life.