GBLTQ Community "Apologize" for Ruining Marriage

[Alecto]

This snark is FJ worthy. Amy Kotch is the former MN Senate Majority Leader who resigned due to having an affair with a staffer. The letter comes on the heels of Koch's own apology, released yesterday, in which she expressed her deep regret for "engaging in a relationship with a Senate staffer." Although the letter did not specify the identity of the other participant in the "inappropriate relationship," it is widely rumored to be former communications chief Michael Brodkorb, who lost several positions with the GOP in the wake of the scandal.

Koch, Brodkorb, and their fellow Republicans campaigned this year to put a constitutional amendment on next year's ballot to define marriage as the union between a man and a woman, thus forbidding gay marriage. Sadly, the amendment comes too late to prevent Koch from straying from her own marriage.

An Open Apology to Amy Koch on Behalf of All Gay and Lesbian Minnesotans

Dear Ms. Koch,

On behalf of all gays and lesbians living in Minnesota, I would like to wholeheartedly apologize for our community's successful efforts to threaten your traditional marriage. We are ashamed of ourselves for causing you to have what the media refers to as an "illicit affair" with your staffer, and we also extend our deepest apologies to him and to his wife. These recent events have made it quite clear that our gay and lesbian tactics have gone too far, affecting even the most respectful of our society.

We apologize that our selfish requests to marry those we love has cheapened and degraded traditional marriage so much that we caused you to stray from your own holy union for something more cheap and tawdry. And we are doubly remorseful in knowing that many will see this as a form of sexual harassment of a subordinate.

It is now clear to us that if we were not so self-focused and myopic, we would have been able to see that the time you wasted diligently writing legislation that would forever seal the definition of marriage as being between one man and one woman, could have been more usefully spent reshaping the legal definition of "adultery."

Forgive us. As you know, we are not church-going people, so we are unable to fully appreciate that "gay marriage" is incompatible with Christian values, despite the fact that those values carry a biblical tradition of adultery such as yours. We applaud you for keeping that tradition going.

And finally, shame on us for thinking that marriage is a private affair, and that our marriage would have little impact on anyone's family. We now see that marriage is more than that. It is an agreement with society. We should listen to the Minnesota Family Council when it tells us that marriage is about being public, which explains why marriages are public ceremonies. Never did we realize that it is exactly because of this societal agreement that the entire world is looking at you in shame and disappointment instead of minding its own business.

From the bottom of our hearts, we ask that you please accept our apology.

Thank you.

John Medeiros

Minneapolis MN

[Gizmola]

I adore it - terrific snark.

[dairyfreelife]

:clap: That is all.

[deelaem]

Oh, I just love it when asshats like them land flat on their face! But this is happening often enough to make me wonder; are they really that dense to think they won't get caught? And how can you rationalize that much to yourself to call yourself the morality police while betraying your spouse? Talk about entitlement issues!

[holierthanyou]

Can a moderator send out an engraved invitation to John Medeiros inviting him to FJ? I would love to read all of his snark!

[Linnea]

What do you want to bet there are people who won't realize that it's sarcastic? "Look - teh gayz are repenting!"

[Angri-la]

BRAVO! Absolutely delicious.

[emmyfair]

Love it. Amazing.

[clibbyjo]

:clap: :clap: :clap: His awesomeness needs to be here!

[Mommy22alyns]

I saw this on FB and thought it was brilliant!

[MerryHappy]

I laughed so hard when I read that!

[BoomerLynn]

EPIC WIN!!!!

[NurseNell]

I love it. This is a local story, when I heard it my first thought was, so much for family values.