Naked Man Stories

[clueliss]

Since we have an ongoing thread for Florida stories, it is time for Naked Man (and Woman).  Partly because I just found this dandy as posted by the Lawrence (KS) Journal World.  

Naked Man arrested twice in one day on Mass. Street - in Downtown Lawrence.

 

http://www2.ljworld.com/weblogs/crime_blog/2017/jul/31/police-pick-up-man-walking-nude-on-mass-/

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Police pick up man walking nude on Mass Street — twice in one afternoon

Posted by Sara Shepherd

July 31, 2017 at 1:10 p.m.

Lawrence police on Sunday dealt with a man apparently dead-set on walking down Massachusetts Street in the altogether — so much so that, even after officers cited him for indecent exposure and took him to jail, he got a taxi back downtown, basically left his clothes in lieu of payment and set off naked again.

According to Lawrence police spokeswoman Kim Murphree, responding in an email to my inquiry about the incidents:

Around 2 p.m. Sunday police got a report of a man walking nude on the west side of the street in the 900 block of Massachusetts Street. Officers took the 34-year-old Lawrence man into custody and cited him for indecent exposure.

According to the corresponding jail log entry, the man was booked into the jail and released a little after 3 p.m.

According to Murphree:

A little more than an hour after that, about 4:20 p.m. Sunday, police were dispatched to speak with a taxi driver, who told officers he picked up a man at the jail and drove him to the downtown area. But instead of paying upon arrival, the driver said the passenger told him he did not have money for the fare, then took off his clothes and left the vehicle. An officer found the suspect — the same 34-year-old man police picked up earlier, again not wearing any clothes — near 10th and Massachusetts streets. Police took the man back to the jail and issued another citation for indecent exposure, plus one for theft.

This time, the man appears to have stayed in jail. According to the online inmate list, he was in custody as of Monday afternoon.

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[unsafetydancer]

One aspect of my job that has disturbed me, the number of men who will answer the door to a stranger bollock naked. I worry.

[BlessaYourHeart]

When I was 13 and in Barcelona on holiday I saw a man cycling down the street naked as the day he was born. He was old, I'd say 70s. It was just plain weird and I couldn't believe what I was seeing. 

I think it scarred me because I remember it so clearly to this day 

[unsafetydancer]

Nudity doesn't really bother me, I guess everyone's naked under their clothes.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

6 hours ago, unsafetydancer said:

One aspect of my job that has disturbed me, the number of men who will answer the door to a stranger bollock naked. I worry.

I guess I was lucky to only have a male customer come to the door in his skimpy red Speedo back when I delivered pizza on the weekends. But he was at least 6 feet tall (around 2 meters) and probably at least 300 pounds. I just didn't know where to look.  It also turned out that he was too drunk to figure out where his wallet was. The pizza and I left after about 10 minutes of watching through the door while he went from room to room looking for his pants and his wallet. 

@unsafetydancer, would you say that most of the naked men you see that way are sober or a bit drunk?

[Wenny]

My job is front desk in an emergency room.   If someone walks in and my head is down, I'll look up at the light above their head until I can estimate it is safe to look down even then...to many balls on the counter. 

 

 

 

[unsafetydancer]

2 hours ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

would you say that most of the naked men you see that way are sober or a bit drunk?

Depends. I've seen some people who are pretty drunk that are walking around naked but I've also had some clearly sober people. The worst ones are the older people who are clearly suffering from dementia/alzheimers. You wonder how someone could get to that stage without anyone noticing or worrying about them.

The drunkest one was the guy in my street who decided to streak on Hogmanay.

[47of74]

Here's someone who actually decided to go fornicate himself in traffic

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Officers responding to a report of a “naked man walking along the tree line on Route 287” discovered Stephen Kurkowiak, 39, in the altogether near mile marker 64 in Mahwah, a Bergen County township about 30 miles north of New York City.

When Kurkowiak, who lives in upstate New York, was approached by two patrolmen, he stood up and pulled "an object out of his rectum." He then tossed the sex toy over his shoulder, said James Batelli, chief of the Mahwah Police Department.

Prior to his collar, Kurkowiak had been at a nearby county park (apparently with his clothes on). Seen above, Kurkowiak was charged with lewdness. He is free in advance of a court hearing.

 

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

Eeeew! 

[clueliss]

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“They walk him out in pins and stripes and nothing below the belly.” A homeowner in Springfield, Mo. was shocked to find a naked man in his garage over the weekend. The way the suspect, Dale Cater, left the premises with the police was just as weird. Greene County Sheriff’s Office

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http://www.kansascity.com/news/state/missouri/article166429767.html

Yup - we have a naked Missouri Man here. 

 

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BY LISA GUTIERREZ

Well, it’s not like they could haul him off to jail naked.

Lagen Chase in Springfield, Mo., was shocked on Sunday to find a naked man in his garage.

Chase told KSPR in Springfield that his fiance saw the man first, sitting in her car which was parked in the garage.

When Chase went to check it out he found the intruder — a 182-pound man, naked as a jailbird.

“I walked up to the male completely nude in there and on a different planet,” he told the TV station.

Chase said the man got violent when he realized he was caught “and he swung up over and hit me in the face, knocked me into my shelving.”

Police showed up minutes later. That’s when the suspect, 40-year-old Dale Cater, begged police not to take him away in a state of undress, according to Chase.

“He grabs our bag of old Halloween clothes and puts on a jailbird outfit,” said Chase. “So they walk him out in pins and stripes and nothing below the belly.”

Cater is being held in the Greene County jail on a $15,000 bond. He faces first-degree burglary charges.

Chase installed an alarm system after the incident.

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