What's up with Nolan and Lourdes?

[Maxwell]

January: All seems well

 

March-April: Things apparently soured

 

Early May: Nolan anounces via video(s) that Lourdes is divorcing him

 

Mid May: Divorce goes through, Facebooks status set to single, Lourdes changes her name from Manteufel back to Torres.

 

Mid June: They seem to be back on friendly terms. Lourdes and Nolan both post a "Who is your true soulmate" quiz thing on Facebook that shows they're made for each other. Then, Lourdes post a picture on Nolan with the following caption, "A rainy day, cigar, cool guy, and algebra homework... Life is good

— with Nolan Manteufel."

 

Color me confused. On the one hand, good for them! I hope they patch up their differences -- breakups are horrible (divorce doubly so). On the other hand... huh? Something just seems... off? Breakup... get back together... whatever, it's their life and normally I wouldn't really care but it's that feeling of, "Some thing is not right here" that prompted my post. Any thoughts/insights??

[nausicaa]

I noticed the "soul mate" posting and was wondering about that too. I mean, Nolan has been pretty consistent in wanting Lourdes back, so I wasn't surprised that he posted the results of his soul mate quiz when he got her as the answer. But when Lourdes did it, I was thrown for a loop.

I hope this doesn't turn into a Sarah Jane-esque saga...

[DGayle]

When your life's meaning is distilled down to broodmare or mother-fucker, I guess you need to manufacture drama to make it interesting. It's not like hobbies are encouraged.

[Clutched Pearls]

How old are these 2 again? I'don't just chalk this up to young dumb love.

[Georgiana]

Honestly, and I have said it before, this is playing out just like a first serious break up. You're unhappy in the relationship, you know that, but you still miss the person. You don't know what you're doing. You don't know how to let go. There are all these new, strong emotions, and you don't know how to handle them. So often, you handle them wrong. You break up, you get back together, it's over again...and then it's sort of back on.

If these were middle or high schoolers, we wouldn't be batting an eye.

And that's it, isn't it? Emotionally, especially in terms of relationships, these are not adults. Their oppressive life put them behind in their emotional development. They have the emotional relationship development of juveniles, and that's how they are handling it. It's not shocking, it's not their fault, and it's just regrettable that they had to try and deal with adult things like marriage and divorce before they were ready.

I really hope they have people around them who can help them to grow and mature emotionally.

[Palimpsest]

Not all breakups and divorces end up with the parties never speaking again. Some people divorce and find out that they can be much better as friends than they ever were as spouses.

Lourdes and Nolan may be working on their relationship and/or reuniting. If so, the best of luck to them both.

It is really none of my business what they do, but I hope they both have good professionally qualified counselors at the moment. I also hope that they have kicked Jen Fishburne to the curb where she belongs and that she stays there. She is bad news.

And Nolan? Take those embarrassing videos DOWN!

[FundieWatcher]

It is wonderful when ex's can be friends. I wish them both the best.

[punkiepie]

These two make me sad. I think they could have had a good shot if only they'd met each other later in life. But neither of them have the tools to deal with everything that comes from being raised in their Fundie nightmare. And even the best of couples would have a hard time recovering from what was done to Lourdes. So not only do they not have the tools, they are dealing with one of the most horrific abuses that's possible for a young woman. And that combined with their loss of the faith that was, no pun intended, a very fundamental part of their lives- it's actually commendable they made it last as long as they did.

I hope they both grow and mature and maybe one day find their way back to each other. They do seem to really love each other.

[fundiefan]

Honestly, and I have said it before, this is playing out just like a first serious break up. You're unhappy in the relationship, you know that, but you still miss the person. You don't know what you're doing. You don't know how to let go. There are all these new, strong emotions, and you don't know how to handle them. So often, you handle them wrong. You break up, you get back together, it's over again...and then it's sort of back on.

If these were middle or high schoolers, we wouldn't be batting an eye.

And that's it, isn't it? Emotionally, especially in terms of relationships, these are not adults. Their oppressive life put them behind in their emotional development. They have the emotional relationship development of juveniles, and that's how they are handling it. It's not shocking, it's not their fault, and it's just regrettable that they had to try and deal with adult things like marriage and divorce before they were ready.

I really hope they have people around them who can help them to grow and mature emotionally.

I agree with this. Chronologically, they're adults. Emotionally, they are barely into puberty. They were taught to suppress all emotion and they have no clue how to handle any of the feelings they now have. Exactly as you said- this is what most people do in their teen years and they learn from experience as they age. Unfortunately, Lourdes & Nolan were prevented from having any real experiences or even emotions.

Seriously, I feel so badly for them both. I cannot imagine what it is like to be them. Their insides must be never ending roller coasters with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows since they are, for the first time, feeling emotions and having experiences with romantic - hell, interpersonal relationships period - given the circles they never left.

And, if they are 'just friends' and can remain so, more power to them. Not all who end romantic relationships end up hating each other.

[Hane]

Here's my take on it: They genuinely do care about each other, but wound up marrying precipitously because that's what's done in Fundieland--no getting to know each other through extended dating, no developing a relationship before marriage. Lourdes has been going through an emotionally strenuous time lasting years and needed support--and a well-meaning knight in shining armor comes along. I would have been surprised if they hadn't gotten married.

Then reality set in. Lourdes and Nolan may have realized that marriage wasn't the bulletproof shield they'd hoped it would be.

I'm glad that they're now living as normal college students, most likely trying to determine exactly what kind of relationship is best for each of them.

[GiggleOfGirls]

Here's my take on it: They genuinely do care about each other, but wound up marrying precipitously because that's what's done in Fundieland--no getting to know each other through extended dating, no developing a relationship before marriage. Lourdes has been going through an emotionally strenuous time lasting years and needed support--and a well-meaning knight in shining armor comes along. I would have been surprised if they hadn't gotten married.

Then reality set in. Lourdes and Nolan may have realized that marriage wasn't the bulletproof shield they'd hoped it would be.

I'm glad that they're now living as normal college students, most likely trying to determine exactly what kind of relationship is best for each of them.

This theory is the one that makes the most sense to me. Beyond that, I wish them both well and I'm beyond thrilled that Lourdes is going to college.