Raising Homemakers?

[fundies_like_zombies]

Good bad or somewhere in between?

Alot of blogs especially the girls ones seem to link to raising homemakers.

Some of the posts seem nice must be a popular site as loads of comments and blog link ups. They don't look like they reccommend anything bad either - doorposts and homestead blessings.

After the thread about curriculums for training girls I noticed there is a lot of info and sites on homemaking and moulding girls into proverbs 31 wives.

[Confused_by_religion]

Good bad or somewhere in between?

Alot of blogs especially the girls ones seem to link to raising homemakers.

Some of the posts seem nice must be a popular site as loads of comments and blog link ups. They don't look like they reccommend anything bad either - doorposts and homestead blessings.

After the thread about curriculums for training girls I noticed there is a lot of info and sites on homemaking and moulding girls into proverbs 31 wives.

It seems pretty harmless compared to some of the wackier blogs and sites. I guess it's like a tool. If you want to learn about canning, it helps you to do so. If you want your daughter to believe that she should take care of the kids until she's married, it might help you to do so, too. I wish all these sites came with a big printed notice, something like this:

"Learning how to cross-stitch diapers with bible verses can be fun. However, it is not compulsory and is quite possibly not enough education to get you a job and help you to put food on your table. Yes, you might not get married, either."

:-)

[GenerationCedarchip]

I've read there sometimes. They have a wide mix of bloggers. Some of pretty fundie and there are a couple of SAHDs, but then there are some much more fundie-lite and even mainstream Christian bloggers on there. As a result, my reaction to their pieces ranges from liking them(good recipes) to finding them pretty snarkworthy(a SAHD recently wrote on having a homemaker state of mind).

[Joykins]

Raising kids to have home-making skills is good. You never know when you're going to nee dit.

Raising kids to BE home-makers is bad. It seriously limits their options when they grow up. Even if you expect to be a home-maker, you don't know what life has for you and sometimes the people you expect to keep house for die or leave.

[mnb357]

I have come to some sights accidentally, when looking for information on other things, like canning. Some, as you said, are actually quite nice, others give me the impression that I'm not welcome because I'm reading them in running shorts...

I, frankly, LOVE being the primary homemaker. I LOVE doing all the domestic-type things, even cleaning! It's something I *chose* to do. While my mother happily stayed home with all of us, after my oldest brother was born, she certainly was not well versed in the domestic arts, nor did she enjoy housework. In fact, she hated all things domestic. (She did love being home with us, though.) So, I think the idea that you can train someone to ENJOY these things is ridiculous. On the other hand, you can do as my parents did, insist on college for ALL YOUR KIDS, and then, lo and behold, you may just have a daughter who, smart, talented and beautiful (if I do say so myself) morphs into "Heidi the Homemaker." I LOVE this stuff, but my sister, like my mother believed cleaning meant kicking stuff out of sight under the bed, and as for canning and the like....well, I can practically hear their shudders from here...same with my brothers. I guess personal preference doesn't have any place in the minds of some of these bloggers.

[MamaJunebug]

"cross-stitch diapers with bible verses"

:banana-gotpics: :banana-gotpics:

:D

[Kitty]

My father told me about his mother teaching him to cook, sew, etc., because she wouldn't always be around and he might not always be married and have a wife to do things for him.

She was right, she died of cancer and my dad has been divorced and re-married, and my mom is not so much the cooking type. She'll clean, but my dad does the cooking unless there's something special going on.

It's weird to me that nobody expects boys to do any of this homemaking stuff- surely their wives would be ill, or away for a few days and they'd have to take over? And what about when the men are unemployed, and their wives HAVE to work to support the family?

It's just so bloody weird to me that fundies just assume everything will go perfectly, all the time.

It's also total bullshit that girls are expected to stay at home, and not get any sort of education after graduating homeschool, except in domestic arts. To hell with personal preference and wants!

[margiebargie]

Raising kids to have home-making skills is good. You never know when you're going to nee dit.

Raising kids to BE home-makers is bad. It seriously limits their options when they grow up. Even if you expect to be a home-maker, you don't know what life has for you and sometimes the people you expect to keep house for die or leave.

I think you nailed it. The way I see it, my job as a parent is to help my child discover who she is. If I don't prepare her to make her own choices in the real world (not my idealized one), I have failed.

There's nothing wrong with teaching your kids how to cook, clean and sew. They should know how to do these things. But there's something terribly wrong with limiting them to just that.

It's sad that these fundie parents actively discourage their children from attending college or planning for a career. I can't even imagine shutting down my child's dreams like that. It's like these parents have a dusty, old Bible where their hearts should be.

[fundiefan]

Just the idea of raising 'homemakers' makes me uncomfortable.

Raise all kids to know how to care for themselves and their homes. Also, raise all kids with the skills and abilities to be able to pursue whatever it is they choose to pursue with education, experiences, love and support.

Choosing to raise your daughter to be a homemaker takes away her choices about her future. That, to me, is appalling.

[ADoyle90815]

Just the idea of raising 'homemakers' makes me uncomfortable.

Raise all kids to know how to care for themselves and their homes. Also, raise all kids with the skills and abilities to be able to pursue whatever it is they choose to pursue with education, experiences, love and support.

Choosing to raise your daughter to be a homemaker takes away her choices about her future. That, to me, is appalling.

I agree, on some religious board, someone had a signature that disturbed me as it said, "Raising 4 future mothers" since it implies that girls are only here to become "future mothers." I hate to think of how that person would react if one of those girls grows up and decides that motherhood isn't for her, or somehow is infertile. I'm one who thinks that boys should also be taught how to care for themselves and a home since there's no guarantee that anyone is going to get married right away, or stay married. Also, there's nothing wrong with having a man help his wife with household chores.

[Koala]

I think you nailed it. The way I see it, my job as a parent is to help my child discover who she is. If I don't prepare her to make her own choices in the real world (not my idealized one), I have failed.

There's nothing wrong with teaching your kids how to cook, clean and sew. They should know how to do these things. But there's something terribly wrong with limiting them to just that.

It's sad that these fundie parents actively discourage their children from attending college or planning for a career. I can't even imagine shutting down my child's dreams like that. It's like these parents have a dusty, old Bible where their hearts should be.

Well said.

[liltwinstar]

As someone who was raised to be a homemaker, it's really hard to get out of that mindset. I work and have a "normal" life now, but I'm still plagued by the thought that I'm not being a "good enough" wife because I do things like let the ironing pile up or don't get the floor mopped. Even though we're a dual-income household, and I actually make a bit more money per hour than my husband, I still feel like I have to manage "his" money well, and I struggle with constantly putting myself on the back burner. Husband needs pants? We go to Macy's or Eddie Bauer. I need pants? My first thought is "I need to go to goodwill." I'm working on changing all that, but it's a slow process.

I have no problem with teaching all children (and some adults too) "life skills" like cooking and cleaning and mending and that kind of thing. It's all very useful, and if you like doing domestic stuff, it can be relaxing, too. But to force half of the population to clean up after the other half is just wrong.

[Michiru]

Have I missed something? Like them being so horrible, that no one wanted to see their page anymore? :lol:

Anyway, the link goes to a web hosting provider... :think:

[emmiedahl]

"cross-stitch diapers with bible verses"

:banana-gotpics: :banana-gotpics:

:D

I personally prefer that my diapers have something like this:

[titus2_4u]

I found the site because CuJo links to it.

I wouldn't have a problem with it if they taught the sons homemaking skills too! Seriously, everyone should know how to cook a balanced dinner, make some basic baked goods, wash dishes, host a party, keep a house tidy.

There should be a counter-website: "Raising Insufferable Future Dude Roommates/Husbands Who Don't Know How to Clean Because It's 4 Tha Wimmins." Seriously, if these sons don't get married right after high school or college, their apartments would be nasty.

[flojo]

As someone who was raised to be a homemaker, it's really hard to get out of that mindset. I work and have a "normal" life now, but I'm still plagued by the thought that I'm not being a "good enough" wife because I do things like let the ironing pile up or don't get the floor mopped. Even though we're a dual-income household, and I actually make a bit more money per hour than my husband, I still feel like I have to manage "his" money well, and I struggle with constantly putting myself on the back burner. Husband needs pants? We go to Macy's or Eddie Bauer. I need pants? My first thought is "I need to go to goodwill." I'm working on changing all that, but it's a slow process.

I have no problem with teaching all children (and some adults too) "life skills" like cooking and cleaning and mending and that kind of thing. It's all very useful, and if you like doing domestic stuff, it can be relaxing, too. But to force half of the population to clean up after the other half is just wrong.

My step mother is the same. She will happily spend money on us or my father, but struggles to spend it on herself, even for basic things like haircuts (not criticizing her hair, more it's the obvious one- she has been known to go for 2 or 3 years without one, because she feels bad spending the money on herself, no matter how much we try and persuade her otherwise)

[stephanie]

I agree with the poster upthread ..life skills, yes! Life set up for you from birth...not so much.

I have 2 little boys and you better bet your ass they will both know how to do the basics like cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, etc. This coming from someone who taught her husband (when he was still my fiance and we moved in together...gasp!) How to do laundry because apparently his parents didn't think that was something a grown up human being might need to know. Thankfully I have a husband with a decent head on his shoulders who understands that everyone who lives in a home should have a part in caring for it (which means I do most of the cooking because I'm better at it while he does most of the vacuuming because I hate it and he doesn't mind it)

[fundiefan]

Deciding for your child, at birth, what he/she will grow up to do, know, learn, become, accomplish, etc... and raising them with only your choices in mind is wrong.

Raising intelligent, responsible people with the skills to care for themselves and any family they may or may not choose to have is good.

[NurseNell]

It's weird to me that nobody expects boys to do any of this homemaking stuff- surely their wives would be ill, or away for a few days and they'd have to take over? And what about when the men are unemployed, and their wives HAVE to work to support the family?

I don't know about current 7th and 8th grade curriculum in New York state but when I was in those grades all students, boys and girls, were required to have art, shop, and homemaking; so many weeks of each in both grades.

[emmiedahl]

At my son's junior high, you had to choose one. All the boys chose shop and all the girls chose home ec. Except my son, who took home ec because he would rather be in a class of pretty girls than what he calls "a sausage fest with power tools."

[FemaleScientist]

Raising kids to have home-making skills is good. You never know when you're going to nee dit.

Raising kids to BE home-makers is bad. It seriously limits their options when they grow up. Even if you expect to be a home-maker, you don't know what life has for you and sometimes the people you expect to keep house for die or leave.

THIS. I still wish I had more sewing experience (my husband has more than I do) and I wish I knew how to cook moving off to college, though I learned eventually. But I actually very happy I know how to do these things so I can take care of myself (and my family if I need to).

With the economy the way it is, I think it's very important that children get the most experience they can inside and outside the home. You never know when your husband is going to lose his benefits at work or even get laid off, have an accident, moved to part time, etc. It's the sad reality of life. Either way, I'm always going to have or pursue a career of some sort because I personally don't find any satisfaction staying at home and caring for kids all day, though I realize and accept that staying at home is a dream for some.

However, I still have issue about indoctrinating these values into young girls and making them believe their only option in life is to be a housewife when there are so many other options out there. It makes me wonder how many girls who grew up in fundie households make this choice because they are indoctrinated to or they are exposed to other options. Sadly, it seems that if they pursue the career option, it makes them less marriageable to "godly" men. Now I can see why it can be so hard to break free from that homemaker mentality. =\