Adeye try to answer critics

[Marianne]

nogreaterjoymom.com/2014/08/our-response-im-old-and-other-things.html

She's crazy.

[salex]

nogreaterjoymom.com/2014/08/our-response-im-old-and-other-things.html

She's crazy.

Ok, I tried to skim that and either she's incoherent or I'm very tired. Could be both.

[browncoatslytherin]

not only her, but that one commenter, avielle...just wow, it sounds like avielle may take a turn for taryn.

[RecoveringFundie]

"lusting after your spouse is a sin"......sounds like they have a really awesome marriage! :?

[jerkit]

"lusting after your spouse is a sin"......sounds like they have a really awesome marriage! :?

:pull-hair:

Celibacy. It's the only holy way.

[Firiel]

:pull-hair:

Celibacy. It's the only holy way.

Gonna pull the obnoxious over-explanation card here.

I've heard (and my several minutes of Internet searching has somewhat supported) that the word for "lust" isn't just "want to be with sexually" but also has connotations of possession. The word used in Matthew 5:28 where Jesus warns against lust is the same word used in the Septuagint (Greek OT) to translate the Commandment about not coveting your neighbor's donkey, house, or wife. I'm still not sure it's a good argument/conclusion because neither the definition for the Greek word translated "lust" nor the definition for the Hebrew word translated "covet" seems to be exclusively about possession but rather seems to encompasses different levels of desiring and taking pleasure in.

But... the argument that one shouldn't lust after one's spouse isn't necessarily one against sex or sexual desire in marriage. I've heard it used more as argument against the kind of desire that implies possession of a person and sexual objectification, though I'm not sure if that interpretation makes sense as I am only a Google scholar of either Greek, Hebrew, and Bible translation.

EDIT: Not that any of that changes the fact that the commenter in question is a crackpot.

[jerkit]

Gonna pull the obnoxious over-explanation card here.

I've heard (and my several minutes of Internet searching has somewhat supported) that the word for "lust" isn't just "want to be with sexually" but also has connotations of possession. The word used in Matthew 5:28 where Jesus warns against lust is the same word used in the Septuagint (Greek OT) to translate the Commandment about not coveting your neighbor's donkey, house, or wife. I'm still not sure it's a good argument/conclusion because neither the definition for the Greek word translated "lust" nor the definition for the Hebrew word translated "covet" seems to be exclusively about possession but rather seems to encompasses different levels of desiring and taking pleasure in.

But... the argument that one shouldn't lust after one's spouse isn't necessarily one against sex or sexual desire in marriage. I've heard it used more as argument against the kind of desire that implies possession of a person and sexual objectification, though I'm not sure if that interpretation makes sense as I am only a Google scholar of either Greek, Hebrew, and Bible translation.

EDIT: Not that any of that changes the fact that the commenter in question is a crackpot.

Thanks for that explanation!

At face value, it definitely reads as "it's a sin to sexual desire your spouse"

[Firiel]

Thanks for that explanation!

At face value, it definitely reads as "it's a sin to sexual desire your spouse"

For the commenter in question, it might have meant that. She's a little :cray-cray: . But it doesn't always mean that.

[feministxtian]

"lusting after your spouse is a sin"......sounds like they have a really awesome marriage! :?

Then I'm screwed. Mr. Xtian is here w/o a shirt on and he has the Aztec bronze god tan from heaven...and yeah, I'm drooling...I am SO going to hell for this....

[BeaSnarky]

Sigh...I guess God will provide when every single one of the embryos takes hold, she's preggers with quads, and her four very special needs kids have to be cared for by her teens because she's on bed rest and her husband has to work 24/7 to ensure they have enough money to feed them all those horrible shakes.

Or how she'll spin it if she goes through all this and loses all the babies. BlahblahGodswillblahblah

[gardenvarietycitizen]

Sigh...I guess God will provide when every single one of the embryos takes hold, she's preggers with quads, and her four very special needs kids have to be cared for by her teens because she's on bed rest and her husband has to work 24/7 to ensure they have enough money to feed them all those horrible shakes.

Or how she'll spin it if she goes through all this and loses all the babies. BlahblahGodswillblahblah

Seriously. Just... wut?

I'm just now catching up with a bunch of blogs I'd not followed in a while, and come back to THIS. The whole "...and some of them might even be SPECIAL NEEDS!! But look! We're so charitable we'll take them! We're even hoping for that maybe!" angle just adds an extra layer of wut?

[Full enough quiver]

Losing all 4 might be the best case scenario. Adeye can be a good christian pro life martyr I don't mean to sound callous, but the last thing this family needs is 4 special needs babies. I think special needs children can be wonderful blessings to their families, but holy crap, they can be a lot of work! Why would you deliberately bring a special needs child into an already overextended family? Those babies (if they become babies) deserve a family that can actually care for them.

[RosyDaisy]

Lusting after your spouse is a sin? WTF? Future Mr. Daisy is in bed asleep with boxer briefs on. Hell yeah, I'm lusting after him. So, I guess I'll join everbody else who lusts after their SO in Hell.

[chaotic life]

Adeye is a full blown child collector at this point. My guess is that she hasn't figured out how to game adoption agencies and can't currently pass a home study to go collect more EE orphans so obviously creating handicapped babies in her own body is the next best thing.

[BeaSnarky]

I see she is going to have the embryos implanted in December. She said she's saving $2K going out of state.

[JMarie]

She has nine kids, with six of them having special needs? And she homeschools them? And she wants more kids? Seriously?

[chaotic life]

Four of the kids are normal, functional and fine. Hannah-Claire is HepB positive. That is hardly a special need, even though it qualifies as one for China adoptions so you can bypass the line waiting for healthy girls.

However, that is balanced out by the fact that the other five children are significant special needs, and several of them (Haysa, Harper, Hallie for certain) are medically fragile.

[mystikchick17]

And of course, after people begging her to find out whether they can help financially, they have prayed and God has commanded them to set up a crowdfunding widget to help be a part of this "adoption."

This entire situation makes me ill.

[chaotic life]

Well why not. People financed large portions of every adoption since Hannah-Claire and just this spring they were gifted with a brandnew 15 passenger van.

Yet, they own homes in CO and VA and she's talked about his residual income from modeling before. They did appear to tax their finances with a THIRD house, since when she moved to lower ground for the second time she had to settle for a rental home and he stayed behind to get the foreclosure house sold.

Of course, none of that considers that she has a very lucrative BlogHer advertising accounting and until she went private to peddle her MLM this year, has updated to keep her blog traffic high for years. It also fails to consider that I'm pretty sure they are still in CO, which means in addition to everything else thy are still earning 2 CNA salaries for their children AND the state is paying salaries for nurses and assistants on top of what they pocket.

[dianapavelovna]

Adeye is a full blown child collector at this point. My guess is that she hasn't figured out how to game adoption agencies and can't currently pass a home study to go collect more EE orphans so obviously creating handicapped babies in her own body is the next best thing.

Shit, has she hit up Jean (of theresnoplacelikehome-family.blogspot.com) for advice? I guess the big difference is that none of Jean's kids have special needs on the level of Hasya, Harper, or Hailee, but she is about to add numbers 14 and 15. They adopted three girls last February, two boys in December, and they are planning to add a five-year-old boy and a six-year-old girl by spring. Between her and Adeye, I'm left pretty speechless.

[RecoveringFundie]

In addition to those 3 children---and the little girl who is HepB positive, they also have a newly adopted little boy with pretty severe Downs and their other little girl from China who is mute because of whatever severe trauma she endured in her previous life. So that is 5 seriously handicapped children---plus another that surely has decent medical needs.

[mystikchick17]

Well why not. People financed large portions of every adoption since Hannah-Claire and just this spring they were gifted with a brandnew 15 passenger van.

It just irks me (personal pet peeve) when fundies (or bloggers in general) are all coyly "oh, we weren't going to ask for help, but since you were all so eager to be a part of this adoption journey, we have prayed on it and decided to add a widget." I have yet to see a situation where a blogger admits "we prayed and God said no, this isn't a good idea." Until such time as that happens, I will remain a cynical bitch. If you need the damn money, just up and ask for it - don't do all this tiptoeing BS.

As for the special needs - she's freaking insane trying to even think about bringing one, let alone four, more special needs kids into this family.

Haven is completely mute and functions (if memory serves) at the level of a toddler despite being a pre-teen. They celebrate when she independently goes to get a glass of water from the fridge.

Harper is the highest functioning, I think, after Hannah Claire, but she has severe respiratory issues in the winter season.

Hasya is medically fragile with severe osteoporosis, not to mention the effects of 12 years in the most horrific conditions.

Hailee appears to be doing better but also has institutional autism of a form if my memory is right.

Kaleb also has DS and only recently learned to stand with braces. He's fairly old too, but is about the actual age of a preschooler as well.

[chaotic life]

Assuming Hannah-Claire is still active HepB versus transitioning into chronic her condition would require annual visits to Infectious Disease to check her liver enzymes. For children who never convert to chronic Hep B status, 50% will have liver failure in their middle ages. The other 50% won't have any issues. Thus, if her liver enzymes are ever altered, then she will need to be followed by Heptalogy and potentially require a liver transplant.

Certainly, there's a likelihood that Hannah-Claire has some post-institutionalization issues. However, she has been in the Selem family long enough that she should have, and certainly appears to have, recovered from those issues entirely.

Hannah-Claire is not special needs.

Haven has profound autism and is non-verbal. They insist that Haven has PTSD, but I know of NO form of PTSD that causes the non-verbal presentation and the tantrums that Adeye has only hinted at which are routine for Haven. While I get that they are protective because Haven's first adoptive family rejected her for the autism, by refusing to let her have the correct title, they also deny her services and rehabilitation that she not only needs but deserves. Instead, they homeschool her and set NO expectations for her to progress and recover. Adeye seems to like Haven dependent upon her. The friend of Adeye's who came here at one point conceded that while Adeye says all the right things, if even as a personal friend when she stepped back and heard what many of us said about Haven and her autism, she could see that information was correct.

Haven will never be independent, nor will any of the other four that were adopted after her. Hallie still self mutilates and cannot go long periods of time without hats on her head to keep her from picking at herself. Harper is high functioning but still DS and has significant respiratory issues. Harper's health issues is the reason they have now TWICE had to leave the CO mountains, because twice the doctors have told them that if they didn't get her to lower altitude she would die. They moved to their townhome in VA the first time, then decided on their own and against medical advice that Harper wasn't really as sick as the doctors said and moved back to CO.

Not only that, Harper is the child whose biological parents WANTED HER. They were visiting her in the orphanage. Right around the time Adeye brought her home, they came back and wanted to take her home. Adeye considers it a great "god" event that since Adeye did not give them back their daughter, they adopted another DS daughter from the orphanage.

Haysa is not going to live long. She is medically fragile, has profound oestoporosis and breaks bones without even moving. She has significant medical issues and has been hospitalized repeatedly. She is also blind.

I can't tell you much about Kael. He's mostly an afterthought on her blog. He is older than Hallie but younger than Haven. He has DS and he was moved from his orphanage to the adult mental institution in Bulgaria. I believe he spent a year there before they brought him home. She has described him as on the level of a preschooler. He has learned to walk with assistance. He is making progress. Like the others, he cannot do any self care and will never live independently.

Maybe, MAYBE Adeye can handle all of the issues she's dealing with in her home right now. She's written enough posts in the last year that say otherwise, which is extremely significant since she is one of the biggest adoption bloggers who only EVER posts unicorns farting rainbows stuff. However, she is now going to take her 43 year old body, hype it up on hormones, then transfer FOUR damaged embroyos in the hopes that all four will survive and all four will become more special needs children.

I cannot imagine a responsible doctor agreeing to this insanity. Quad pregnancy is crazy high risk. She'll spend most of the pregnancy on bedrest, and it will undoutably be the four normal children who are forced to care for the five high needs living children through such a pregnancy. She'll give birth prematurely, which will guarantee those known to be damaged embroyos will have even more medical issues. They will spend time in NICU where Adeye will have to divide her time between her five cannot wipe their own rears children and up to four who will again never function independently. All the while the children who are capable of understanding what is going on will resent the new babies because they will lose what attention they get from their mother entirely.

Oh, and for kicks and giggles, to save $2K and to try to make better odds that all four will grow, she's traveling away in December for the transfer.

I swear, whatever doctor who has agreed to this idea should have their license pulled. How is this any better than Octomom???? Actually, most of Octomom's children are healthy, even now. I think this is FAR worse than Octomom.

[mystikchick17]

chaoticlife, I actually found myself wishing I could know the name of this "highly regarded" doctor who specializes in transferring long-term frozen embryos and maybe send an alert to the state medical board to investigate. There's just something about the whole setup that doesn't sit right - what kind of legitimate, common-sense doctor agrees to take on a person like this as a patient? Not that Adeye is unhealthy, but that her life circumstances and age surely suggest someone who should NOT have four embryos implanted into her womb.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

In addition to those 3 children---and the little girl who is HepB positive, they also have a newly adopted little boy with pretty severe Downs and their other little girl from China who is mute because of whatever severe trauma she endured in her previous life. So that is 5 seriously handicapped children---plus another that surely has decent medical needs.

Yep. To be blunt about it, only 4 of them (the three biosons and the first adopted daughter) are likely to grow up to have normal education/working lives. I can't help but wonder what is going to happen after their parents die - perhaps the parents have set up some amazing trusts or something (though I wouldn't bet on it! God will provide, eh?), but either way that has got to be a lot of pressure on those four kids, feeling responsible for FIVE seriously handicapped siblings who are not going to be able to live alone or in normal supervised dorm/roommate situations even. And now Adeye wants it to be NINE?

...i.e. what chaotic life said.

Has she got the doctor lined up, then? 'Cause yeah, how can any doctor with a shred of responsibility sign up for this?