If a fundie girl

[Toothfairy]

If a fundie girl got married through courtship and then later finds out her husband is abusive, will her family make her take the blame since women must submit to their husbands. Will they tell her not to make him angry or just take it? Or in the fundie world is that grounds for divorce?

[Georgiana]

Depends on the family and on the abuse. There was one family where the daughter married young, but her family took her back in because of abuse. I believe she did divorce her spouse...can't remember the name though.

Generally, unless the husband is seriously beating the wife or kids, the answer is going to be "No". The occasional strike from husband to wife will probably be written off, and there is no way any of the families we talk about here would recognize emotional abuse.

Really, it would probably have to be life threatening physical abuse for the wife to walk away. And even then she'd likely be pressured to return to her husband, work things out, or even live apart but not divorce him.

[Tangy Bee]

Depends on the family and on the abuse. There was one family where the daughter married young, but her family took her back in because of abuse. I believe she did divorce her spouse...can't remember the name though.

Generally, unless the husband is seriously beating the wife or kids, the answer is going to be "No". The occasional strike from husband to wife will probably be written off, and there is no way any of the families we talk about here would recognize emotional abuse.

Really, it would probably have to be life threatening physical abuse for the wife to walk away. And even then she'd likely be pressured to return to her husband, work things out, or even live apart but not divorce him.

I think you are talking about Autumn. She was under 18 at the time. Will never be a Maxwell fan, but I don't believe Steve would have a problem with one of his daughters returning home if abused. JB and Gil Bates don't seem like the types to refuse their daughters safety after marriage.

[maybeizfundie]

Totally depends on the family.

With my separation, actually a number of my super-fundie friends are quite supportive, which was a bit of a surprise to me. Even though they know that the abuse wasn't flat out beating us, but more verbal and emotional.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

I have a feeling there would be a lot of Christian counseling pushed, along with praying for the husband to change. Every effort must be made to restore the marriage. That's how it is for even fundie lites and a lot of regular Christians.

[uber frau]

I think you are talking about Autumn. She was under 18 at the time. Will never be a Maxwell fan, but I don't believe Steve would have a problem with one of his daughters returning home if abused. JB and Gil Bates don't seem like the types to refuse their daughters safety after marriage.

The thing that struck me about Autumn's marriage breakup was that her parents only supported the divorce on the grounds that he had lied about his previous sexual experience. I wonder how much of that was that they were trying to justify getting their daughter out of the horrible situation they had put her in while saving face within their community and how much of that was what they actually believed.

The positive thing to come out of that mess was that they had a major change of heart and ditched all the fundy crap and just turned conservative Christian. Last I heard, Autumn was attending community college.

IME, it depends very much on the community and the type of abuse. Many fundies would probably allow a permanent separation but an actual divorce would be a bridge to far.

[Nobodysdoormat]

I think most would support separation but not divorce. Once the other party filed then some might support remarriage but definitely not close to all. Maybe if abused party could find a widower or first husband died.

[TheLurkingFrumper]

I misread the title of this thread at first and though it said, "I'm a fundie girl" and though perhaps it was going to be a parody of the Aqua song "Barbie Girl." But, alas, it is not. However, if anyone would like to write that song . . . . :D :D :D

I'm a fundie girl

In a fundie world

life in long skirts . . . .

[sea_gale]

The thing that struck me about Autumn's marriage breakup was that her parents only supported the divorce on the grounds that he had lied about his previous sexual experience. I wonder how much of that was that they were trying to justify getting their daughter out of the horrible situation they had put her in while saving face within their community and how much of that was what they actually believed.

The positive thing to come out of that mess was that they had a major change of heart and ditched all the fundy crap and just turned conservative Christian. Last I heard, Autumn was attending community college.

IME, it depends very much on the community and the type of abuse. Many fundies would probably allow a permanent separation but an actual divorce would be a bridge to far.

Here's the link to Autumn's mum's blog post about the divorce: unlessthelord.blogspot.co.uk/2010/03/broken.html

And her account: autiemautie.blogspot.co.uk/2010/03/when-life-isnt-fairy-tale.html

It looks like the parents were all for the divorce, but the church/cult they were in only allowed it as her abusive fuck of a husband had lied about being a virgin. Autumn's parents did fuck up, and badly, by encouraging and allowing her to get married so young, but I think that they dealt with the situation in the right way afterwards.

[dawbs]

I think it varies a lot.

One of my grandmothers (the one who, realistically speaking, would have been less likely to be described as 'fundie' but, eh, she was a rather mean human being and in many ways, was far more fundie than she looked on the outside.) stayed with her abusive husband and stayed and stayed and even after they separated, insisted on not divorcing (they did eventually divorce and both remarried--and actually, each of them remarried to someone who brought out their best side and made them both tolerable human beings).

When her daughters got married, she told each and every one of them that they could never come home. They were told that if they needed a place to spend the night, there were hotels.

(Which...my mom married a wonderful guy, but one of my aunts, not so much. And, FWIW, said aunt is on her 4th marriage, so it didn't really stop the divorce, it just kept her in danger when she was w/ scary men and poor and w/o options.)

(Also, funnily enough, when her favorite child (he was male...that's all it takes) got divorced, he moved in with her.

[Toothfairy]

I misread the title of this thread at first and though it said, "I'm a fundie girl" and though perhaps it was going to be a parody of the Aqua song "Barbie Girl." But, alas, it is not. However, if anyone would like to write that song . . . . :D :D :D

I'm a fundie girl

In a fundie world

life in long skirts . . . .

:mrgreen: lol. Great song

[Toothfairy]

Depends on the family and on the abuse. There was one family where the daughter married young, but her family took her back in because of abuse. I believe she did divorce her spouse...can't remember the name though.

Generally, unless the husband is seriously beating the wife or kids, the answer is going to be "No". The occasional strike from husband to wife will probably be written off, and there is no way any of the families we talk about here would recognize emotional abuse.

Really, it would probably have to be life threatening physical abuse for the wife to walk away. And even then she'd likely be pressured to return to her husband, work things out, or even live apart but not divorce him.

So where is the line drawn? So what would be considered as a serious beating? If a man hits you once what makes fundies think he won't do it again? So life threatening meaning dead?

[Toothfairy]

The thing that struck me about Autumn's marriage breakup was that her parents only supported the divorce on the grounds that he had lied about his previous sexual experience. I wonder how much of that was that they were trying to justify getting their daughter out of the horrible situation they had put her in while saving face within their community and how much of that was what they actually believed.

The positive thing to come out of that mess was that they had a major change of heart and ditched all the fundy crap and just turned conservative Christian. Last I heard, Autumn was attending community college.

IME, it depends very much on the community and the type of abuse. Many fundies would probably allow a permanent separation but an actual divorce would be a bridge to far.

A fundie girl married to a non-virgin? And under 18 when married? How is this grounds for divorce but not abuse?

[Tangy Bee]

Apparently he lead them to believe he was a virgin. Don't remember how they all found out. He was verbally and physically abusive. Guess he thought he'd marry a teenage virgin and make her do his will forever. Thank goodness Autumn had the guts to leave him and tell everyone what happened to her. She so easily could have kept it private.

[ShesCrafty]

I have a feeling there would be a lot of Christian counseling pushed, along with praying for the husband to change. Every effort must be made to restore the marriage. That's how it is for even fundie lites and a lot of regular Christians.

This has been my (limited) experience. When my older sister got mixed up with Assemblies of God, she separated from her emotionally abusive husband. They went the a Christian therapist and then her pastor decided when it was time for her to take him back, which she did. My non religious parents would have been more than happy for her to divorce the bastard and move in with them if needed. It made quite an impression on me as a young teenager and is one of the reasons I dislike much about organized religion.

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

I misread the title of this thread at first and though it said, "I'm a fundie girl" and though perhaps it was going to be a parody of the Aqua song "Barbie Girl." But, alas, it is not. However, if anyone would like to write that song . . . . :D :D :D

I'm a fundie girl

In a fundie world

life in long skirts . . . .

Hi Fundie

Hi Ben!

You wanna go for a ride

No without my chaperone!

I'm a Fundie girl

In a Fundie World

Life in long skirts

Better not flirt

You can perm my hair

Buy me used underwear

Salvation, the earth is God's Creation.

Come on Fundie, church on Sunday!

I'm a Fundie girl

In a Fundie World

Life in long skirts

Better not flirt

You can perm my hair

Buy me used underwear

Salvation, the earth is God's Creation.

Come on Fundie, church on Sunday!

I'm a stay-at-home girl in a home schooling world

Make me cook, make me clean, I'm your J'slave

You're my wife, my helpmeet, oh isn't it neat

Sermons here, Rallies there, lots of babies...

We can kiss, on the day, that my daddy says I'm yours.

I'm a Fundie girl

In a Fundie World

Life in long skirts

better not flirt

You can perm my hair

Buy me used underwear

Salvation, the earth is God's Creation.

Come on Fundie, church on Sunday!

(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)

Come on Fundie, church on Sunday!

(uu-oooh-u) [2x]

Come on Fundie, church on Sunday!

(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)

Come on Fundie, church on Sunday!

(uu-oooh-u) [2x]

Sweet talk, Godly walk, skirts blow in the breeze

Stare in awe at my man, but I can't show my knees

Come submit and admit that free thoughts are all sins

Kneel and pray, don't be gay, make God's babies.

We can kiss, on the day, that my daddy says I'm yours,

You can touch, once you pray, and Jesus says I'm yours.

[Rebelwife]

Hi Fundie

Hi Ben!

You wanna go for a ride

No without my chaperone!

I'm a Fundie girl

In a Fundie World

Life in long skirts

Better not flirt

You can perm my hair

Buy me used underwear

Salvation, the earth is God's Creation.

Come on Fundie, church on Sunday!

I'm a Fundie girl

In a Fundie World

Life in long skirts

Better not flirt

You can perm my hair

Buy me used underwear

Salvation, the earth is God's Creation.

Come on Fundie, church on Sunday!

I'm a stay-at-home girl in a home schooling world

Make me cook, make me clean, I'm your J'slave

You're my wife, my helpmeet, oh isn't it neat

Sermons here, Rallies there, lots of babies...

We can kiss, on the day, that my daddy says I'm yours.

I'm a Fundie girl

In a Fundie World

Life in long skirts

better not flirt

You can perm my hair

Buy me used underwear

Salvation, the earth is God's Creation.

Come on Fundie, church on Sunday!

(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)

Come on Fundie, church on Sunday!

(uu-oooh-u) [2x]

Come on Fundie, church on Sunday!

(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)

Come on Fundie, church on Sunday!

(uu-oooh-u) [2x]

Sweet talk, Godly walk, skirts blow in the breeze

Stare in awe at my man, but I can't show my knees

Come submit and admit that free thoughts are all sins

Kneel and pray, don't be gay, make God's babies.

We can kiss, on the day, that my daddy says I'm yours,

You can touch, once you pray, and Jesus says I'm yours.

Bravo!

[lillybeth]

Hi Fundie

Hi Ben!

You wanna go for a ride

No without my chaperone!

I'm a Fundie girl

In a Fundie World

Life in long skirts

Better not flirt

You can perm my hair

Buy me used underwear

Salvation, the earth is God's Creation.

Come on Fundie, church on Sunday!

I'm a Fundie girl

In a Fundie World

Life in long skirts

Better not flirt

You can perm my hair

Buy me used underwear

Salvation, the earth is God's Creation.

Come on Fundie, church on Sunday!

I'm a stay-at-home girl in a home schooling world

Make me cook, make me clean, I'm your J'slave

You're my wife, my helpmeet, oh isn't it neat

Sermons here, Rallies there, lots of babies...

We can kiss, on the day, that my daddy says I'm yours.

I'm a Fundie girl

In a Fundie World

Life in long skirts

better not flirt

You can perm my hair

Buy me used underwear

Salvation, the earth is God's Creation.

Come on Fundie, church on Sunday!

(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)

Come on Fundie, church on Sunday!

(uu-oooh-u) [2x]

Come on Fundie, church on Sunday!

(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)

Come on Fundie, church on Sunday!

(uu-oooh-u) [2x]

Sweet talk, Godly walk, skirts blow in the breeze

Stare in awe at my man, but I can't show my knees

Come submit and admit that free thoughts are all sins

Kneel and pray, don't be gay, make God's babies.

We can kiss, on the day, that my daddy says I'm yours,

You can touch, once you pray, and Jesus says I'm yours.

:worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship:

[ADoyle90815]

Hi Fundie

Hi Ben!

You wanna go for a ride

No without my chaperone!

I'm a Fundie girl

In a Fundie World

Life in long skirts

Better not flirt

You can perm my hair

Buy me used underwear

Salvation, the earth is God's Creation.

Come on Fundie, church on Sunday!

I'm a Fundie girl

In a Fundie World

Life in long skirts

Better not flirt

You can perm my hair

Buy me used underwear

Salvation, the earth is God's Creation.

Come on Fundie, church on Sunday!

I'm a stay-at-home girl in a home schooling world

Make me cook, make me clean, I'm your J'slave

You're my wife, my helpmeet, oh isn't it neat

Sermons here, Rallies there, lots of babies...

We can kiss, on the day, that my daddy says I'm yours.

I'm a Fundie girl

In a Fundie World

Life in long skirts

better not flirt

You can perm my hair

Buy me used underwear

Salvation, the earth is God's Creation.

Come on Fundie, church on Sunday!

(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)

Come on Fundie, church on Sunday!

(uu-oooh-u) [2x]

Come on Fundie, church on Sunday!

(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)

Come on Fundie, church on Sunday!

(uu-oooh-u) [2x]

Sweet talk, Godly walk, skirts blow in the breeze

Stare in awe at my man, but I can't show my knees

Come submit and admit that free thoughts are all sins

Kneel and pray, don't be gay, make God's babies.

We can kiss, on the day, that my daddy says I'm yours,

You can touch, once you pray, and Jesus says I'm yours.

:dance: :character-beavisbutthead:

[16strong]

Hi Fundie

Hi Ben!

You wanna go for a ride

No without my chaperone!

I'm a Fundie girl

In a Fundie World

Life in long skirts

Better not flirt

You can perm my hair

Buy me used underwear

Salvation, the earth is God's Creation.

Come on Fundie, church on Sunday!

I'm a Fundie girl

In a Fundie World

Life in long skirts

Better not flirt

You can perm my hair

Buy me used underwear

Salvation, the earth is God's Creation.

Come on Fundie, church on Sunday!

I'm a stay-at-home girl in a home schooling world

Make me cook, make me clean, I'm your J'slave

You're my wife, my helpmeet, oh isn't it neat

Sermons here, Rallies there, lots of babies...

We can kiss, on the day, that my daddy says I'm yours.

I'm a Fundie girl

In a Fundie World

Life in long skirts

better not flirt

You can perm my hair

Buy me used underwear

Salvation, the earth is God's Creation.

Come on Fundie, church on Sunday!

(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)

Come on Fundie, church on Sunday!

(uu-oooh-u) [2x]

Come on Fundie, church on Sunday!

(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)

Come on Fundie, church on Sunday!

(uu-oooh-u) [2x]

Sweet talk, Godly walk, skirts blow in the breeze

Stare in awe at my man, but I can't show my knees

Come submit and admit that free thoughts are all sins

Kneel and pray, don't be gay, make God's babies.

We can kiss, on the day, that my daddy says I'm yours,

You can touch, once you pray, and Jesus says I'm yours.

This. Is the most amazing thing I've ever seen on FJ. I second the :worship: :worship: :worship: and :clap: :clap: :clap:

What a masterpiece. Someone who can sing and video edit needs to get this up on Youtube, stat.