Virginity is 'gestated like a pearl'

[Ariel]

So I was shopping at a flea market yesterday and I went into one of my favorite shops. It's a shop full of sea shells and ocean related gifts. Examples include sea shell lamps, turtle sculptures, and various other knick knacks. I've been going to this shop for years, so imagine my surprise when I find fundie gifts!

It's a necklace setting that comes with an oyster in a can. You open the can, open the oyster, and place the pearl into the necklace. It seems also to suffer from some reallybad foreign language to English translation. If you can't read the wording:

Outside

Love: Chasteness Pearl

Real love is gestated for long time, just as uruaet is gestated in its shell, only expressed to the unique person. In the days full of hopes, Tangren brings the marvelous necklace: "Pearl of Love" for you.

Inside

God creates woman and pearl as well. Pearl is gestated with its matrix-clam, which is like the brilliant experience of a woman true love gestated

There was also a Love: Purity Pearl for sale.

All for the low price of $4.95!

tl;dr Your virginity is like a pearl necklace that costs less than $5.

[BravaAmica]

You know that one of the symbols used in art for the clitoris is the pearl? That's why I laughed my ass off at your find.

[singsingsing]

You know that one of the symbols used in art for the clitoris is the pearl? That's why I laughed my ass off at your find.

So maybe it's really telling virgins to spend a lot of time with their 'pearl' before sharing it with someone else... ;)

[docmom]

The translation makes about as much sense as the fundies when talking about virginity.

[Conuly]

So if you get a, um, pearl necklace you're still a virgin?

[docmom]

So if you get a, um, pearl necklace you're still a virgin?

Oops, might have to return mine. Nah, no-one will notice my three kids...

[FloraKitty35]

No, it's not. :cray-cray:

[thoughtful]

So if you get a, um, pearl necklace you're still a virgin?

:lol:

I think I'll clam up now. :D

[Conuly]

:lol:

I think I'll clam up now. :D

I didn't realize my joke was so irritating! Just like the seeds of virginity that finally turn into a pearl.

[dilannsmom]

This may be TMI (ok, this is probably TMI), but my girlfriends and I often refer to our "dewy pearls" after one of us read it in a bodice ripper!

[thoughtful]

I didn't realize my joke was so irritating! Just like the seeds of virginity that finally turn into a pearl.

Sorry if I seemed crabby. My mussels are a bit sore today.

(this is starting to sound like the fabric pun thread!)

[jjmennonite]

Sorry if I seemed crabby. My mussels are a bit sore today.

(this is starting to sound like the fabric pun thread!)

:cracking-up:

[lawlifelgbt]

Um. In lesbian erotica, the, erm, uh, er, thing is referred to as a pearl sometimes.

*blushes furiously and hides*

[thoughtful]

:cracking-up:

I should leave some puns for someone else. Sorry to be so shellfish.

[SpeakNow]

I should leave some puns for someone else. Sorry to be so shellfish.

Hahahahaha

[RachelB]

So maybe it's really telling virgins to spend a lot of time with their 'pearl' before sharing it with someone else... ;)

Ha! Straight out of the Dr. Joycelyn Elders playbook on sexual health. Not such a bad idea. It would be good for them actually to have some idea of what they like.

[Ariel]

Ha! Straight out of the Dr. Joycelyn Elders playbook on sexual health. Not such a bad idea. It would be good for them actually to have some idea of what they like.

Well you can't really see it from the pictures, but the necklace is kind of like a small cage for the pearl. So I think they're encouraging your to 'imprison' your 'pearl'...possibly in a chastity belt.

And not suck the fun out, but the thing that irritates me the most about this is that it's a sneaky way of pushing religious ideals. It's a fucking awful message hidden in a neat little token gift. I would have loved the whole process of opening the oyster and removing the pearl (which now sounds terribly naughty-thanks guys) when I was little and just absorbed the message without thinking about it. Sneaky fundy bastards. :evil:

[Beammeup]

Um. In lesbian erotica, the, erm, uh, er, thing is referred to as a pearl sometimes.

*blushes furiously and hides*

Same in both straight and lesbian Star Trek erotic fanfic.

[Rowan]

I should leave some puns for someone else. Sorry to be so shellfish.

I can think of a pearl that needs a good conch now and then.

[thoughtful]

Same in both straight and lesbian Star Trek erotic fanfic.

Well, let's face it, the correct names for some sexual body parts are not pretty-sounding words -- not nearly enough onomatopoeia. They should all be called things like the Ahhoooh or the Mmmyeah, but "pearl" is not bad.

Which reminds this old movie buff -- Humphrey Bogart was once cast in a film called The Amazing Dr. Clitterhouse.

It's said that he hated the film -- guess what he called it, when referring to it (well, in private) for the rest of his life? :D

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0029864/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

[docmom]

Same in both straight and lesbian Star Trek erotic fanfic.

So true. Not that I have anything to do with erotic fanfic. No not me :snooty:

[technopaganus]

Thanks to this thread, I have the "Wet Dream" song from Dr. Demento stuck in my head now...

http://www.songlyrics.com/kip-addotta/wet-dream-lyrics/

[Sobeknofret]

Thanks to this thread, I have the "Wet Dream" song from Dr. Demento stuck in my head now...

http://www.songlyrics.com/kip-addotta/wet-dream-lyrics/

Thank you! I have that song stuck in mine too!