Puritan Board Ass Kicking!

[DomWackTroll]

When Reformed blowhard and "personal trainer" Carl turns to the Puritan Board about his sticky engagement problem (the woman in question is a "freewill Baptist"), he is no doubt expecting them to advise him to break it off and avoid "unequal yoking." But is he in for a surprise! Things get so nasty that eventually the moderator just shuts the thread down.

 

puritanboard.com/f24/marrying-non-reformed-free-will-baptist-woman-help-seriously-please-79957/

Edited April 20, 2016 by OnceUponATime
adding tags

[docmom]

There's a Puritan board??

[PennySycamore]

There's a Puritan board??

You would have thought those would have gone out by the end of the 17th Century, wouldn't you?

[punkiepie]

That was pretty crazy! Carl seems like a real ass-hat. I would love to know what his fiancé had to say about all of that. Surely she knows?! If not, she needs a good warning/wakeup call about the type of dude she's about to marry.

[RachelB]

There's a Puritan board??

I occasionally check out their Psalter-related resources. I have some Reformed roots and am a Geneva Psalter fan, and if there's Psalm-singing related stuff, someone there will know about it. The rest of the board, though-- hoo boy. I can't post, because they wouldn't recognize the church I attend as being a church, and they'd consider me a notorious public sinner. Also, there are a lot of nouthetic counseling pushers over there (i.e., people who believe that mental illness is really just a manifestation of sin).

[Marian the Librarian]

DWT proves once again that truth is stranger than fiction! The pics of some of the men on that board are just downright scary, and their posts are worse. Attractive - NOT!! I hope the woman in question gets wind of this somehow, and runs like hell in the opposite direction. :pink-shock:

[nelliebelle1197]

When Reformed blowhard and "personal trainer" Carl turns to the Puritan Board about his sticky engagement problem (the woman in question is a "freewill Baptist"), he is no doubt expecting them to advise him to break it off and avoid "unequal yoking." But is he in for a surprise! Things get so nasty that eventually the moderator just shuts the thread down.

puritanboard.com/f24/marrying-non-reformed-free-will-baptist-woman-help-seriously-please-79957/

I am not really sure if I would define this as "nasty" or, a few snarks at the guy aside, much more than a fairly civil discourse. The Puritans are restrained in their "nastiness". Of course the text walls are painful and I agree that the profile photos are pretty scary, as is the arrogance - obviously standard for Puritans then and now. :shrug:

[Talitha Cumi]

I liked those harsh posts at the end. It's refreshing to see a set of fundies who don't automatically blame the woman.

[littlemommy]

I have to admit that I enjoyed that thread immensely.

[DomWackTroll]

Hmmm... Looks like they moved it to the private section or deleted it. Well, it was fun while it lasted...

[ShadowyOne]

Awww.... Would anyone who read the thread care to recap?

[DomWackTroll]

Carl posted exerpts from his fiancee's emails in which she begged him to give her time to consider his theological position, and told him that she did not feel secure in his love for her. At first the other posters were trying to reason with Carl, calling him "immature" and "new to the faith," but when Carl would not admit to any fault in the matter, things turned ugly. They began using words like "arrogance" and "calumny." One even said the fiancee should "run from you and never look back."

[Galeforce]

Can someone explain what the heck these people are all so up in arms about? What is reformed/confessional/non- free will?

They are determinists? I am confuzzled.

[DomWackTroll]

Can someone explain what the heck these people are all so up in arms about? What is reformed/confessional/non- free will?

They are determinists? I am confuzzled.

They believe in Election and irresistable grace, which means God chooses you for salvation, you don't choose your own salvation ("ask Jesus to come into your heart"). Yet most are not willing to go so far as to call all "freewill Christians" heretics. Some, particularly those leaders who are knowingly "spreading" it (like Joel Osteen or Rick Warren), are considered heretics at the PB, but others, like Carl's fiancee, are just misguided sheep.

[NurseNell]

I get a message that I have to be registered to read that board. :?

[Galeforce]

They believe in Election and irresistable grace, which means God chooses you for salvation, you don't choose your own salvation ("ask Jesus to come into your heart"). Yet most are not willing to go so far as to call all "freewill Christians" heretics. Some, particularly those leaders who are knowingly "spreading" it (like Joel Osteen or Rick Warren), are considered heretics at the PB, but others, like Carl's fiancee, are just misguided sheep.

Thank you for the explanation. I have another question. If the "saved" are born that way, are the "damned", as well? And if so, why do they concern themselves with what anyone else thinks (trying to convert them or calling them heretics)? Do they believe some people are in-between and can be guided to the truth? It doesn't seem like that is consistent with their theology. Yet, in the posted link, the OP on the Puritan Board forum thread was fapping about showing the truth to other pastors. The snake is eating its tail here. Can you explain how they see this? No snark. I'm just trying to understand their position.

[DomWackTroll]

I get a message that I have to be registered to read that board. :?

Try this link for the newest posts:

puritanboard.com/search.php?searchid=3582582

[DomWackTroll]

Thank you for the explanation. I have another question. If the "saved" are born that way, are the "damned", as well? And if so, why do they concern themselves with what anyone else thinks (trying to convert them or calling them heretics)? Do they believe some people are in-between and can be guided to the truth? It doesn't seem like that is consistent with their theology. Yet, in the posted link, the OP on the Puritan Board forum thread was fapping about showing the truth to other pastors. The snake is eating its tail here. Can you explain how they see this? No snark. I'm just trying to understand their position.

Yes. There is no "in between." But they still have to play their part in finding the Elect. Anything beyond that... Well, I don't get it, either. Half of what they say on the PB is like Greek to me.

[DomWackTroll]

Oh, and do a search for Dougie and Vision Forum if you want some real fun. They just don't know what to make of him.

[Galeforce]

Yes. There is no "in between." But they still have to play their part in finding the Elect. Anything beyond that... Well, I don't get it, either. Half of what they say on the PB is like Greek to me.

Okay, last one. I promise. What if a saved person chooses to do all the sins? So, you have SAVED PERSON who murders, robs, commits treason, curses god-- you know, all the really bad stuff. And you have DAMNED PERSON who wins a Nobel and never commits any really grave sin. How does this make sense in their world? Do ethical, moral, and kind people go to hell?

[DomWackTroll]

Okay, last one. I promise. What if a saved person chooses to do all the sins? So, you have SAVED PERSON who murders, robs, commits treason, curses god-- you know, all the really bad stuff. And you have DAMNED PERSON who wins a Nobel and never commits any really grave sin. How does this make sense in their world? Do ethical, moral, and kind people go to hell?

They tend to talk a lot about King David when this comes up. And you can "do good stuff" all you want, but it won't make a bit of difference. That's "Romanist works salvation"-- in other words, not salvation at all.

[uber frau]

One of the few bits of brainwashing I remember verbatim: But does not this doctrine make men careless and profane? By no means; for it is impossible that those who are implanted into Christ by a true faith should not bring forth fruits of thankfulness. (heidelberg catechism q&a?).

In other words, if you don't behave right we are pretty sure you're not one of the elect so we can shun you.

DWT, can I ask where your interest in Calvinism comes from? I don't know many ppl who have patience to try and understand its 'logic', unless they were bathed in the kool-aid from birth.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

Yes. There is no "in between." But they still have to play their part in finding the Elect. Anything beyond that... Well, I don't get it, either. Half of what they say on the PB is like Greek to me.

I honestly had no idea they thought that way, thank you. That really does not make any sense to me, that the hundreds of millions of christian converts would be damned to hell - it does not mesh with the bible?

[DomWackTroll]

One of the few bits of brainwashing I remember verbatim: But does not this doctrine make men careless and profane? By no means; for it is impossible that those who are implanted into Christ by a true faith should not bring forth fruits of thankfulness. (heidelberg catechism q&a?).

In other words, if you don't behave right we are pretty sure you're not one of the elect so we can shun you.

DWT, can I ask where your interest in Calvinism comes from? I don't know many ppl who have patience to try and understand its 'logic', unless they were bathed in the kool-aid from birth.

Well, I've always read a lot of English and European history, and been fascinated with the Reformation, but I had NO idea about the right-wing Reform movement in America until about-- what is it now, seven?-- years ago when someone on Datalounge linked to Doug's ejaculatory blog post about Peter and Kelly Bradrick's wedding. I've always been a subculture junkie (Moonies, radical feminists, SLA, MOVE, Manson followers, whatever) so when I discovered the Dominionist bloggers, it was like, "Where have you been all my life?" But needless to say, that was quickly followed by revulsion and self loathing.

[bananacat]

The thing about Calvinism and sinning is that technically they can never be really truly sure that they are one of the Elect. The Elect wouldn't want to be sinners as much as the non-Elect, so if you do bad things like murder then you were probably never Elect in the first place.

I have enough of a problem with believing in and worshiping an allegedly omni-benevolent god who would damn anyone to eternal torture, but it's so much worse when you believe those people had no free will and no choice in the matter, and that God created these people only to be tortured forever.