Jump to content
IGNORED

Ambivalent about pregnancy


kpmom

Recommended Posts

One of the members of the Christian Homeschooler's forum writes;

"Can I be really honest here? I am struggling emotionally as I get close to the end of this pregnancy. I have wanted another little one for so long. I love this sweet girl so much, and I'm still afraid of something going wrong. I've had a number of early losses and it wasn't until about 3 weeks ago that I began to think "I'm going to have a baby." Today I'm 33 weeks and I'm terrified!

There are the general nerves. I'm 43 and it's been 13 years since I've had a baby. Will I even know what to do? How is this going to affect my marriage? our family? homeschooling high schoolers? dealing with a somewhat difficult situation with 21 yodd? Will I have the energy to be a good mama? "

Not snarking here, because I think any woman in this situation would feel similar, but she goes on;

"I know that this baby is a miracle and nothing but a blessing from God. I know that I should be thankful, and I am. But at the moment and for the last week, I am also fearful and overwhelmed. I know I haven't asked a question, and I do ask for your prayers, but I put my post here instead of in Prayer and Praise because I'm hoping that I'm not the only one who has ever felt this way, and I need encouragement."

Adding in religion, and how she "should" feel, and you have anxiety ++++. I wish these women didn't feel they have to take on so much. I'm glad she feels she can be honest about these feelings.

chfweb.com/index.php?t=msg&th=84493&start=0&S=7b9cafcc8fe58e144c4c0070eb1de799

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If she doesn't get some support, she is headed towards a raging case of postpartum depression. All the signs are there. I really feel for this woman, and I hope someone reaches out to her.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

She also writes, "Then there's dh who tends to see the increased responsibility of a baby, but can't see the joy and blessing of a baby. I feel burdened by his feelings....." so I guess he won't be offering much emotional support.

I just don't understand why you'd have a kid with someone who doesn't really want another one. It's unfair to all parties involved.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

She also writes, "Then there's dh who tends to see the increased responsibility of a baby, but can't see the joy and blessing of a baby. I feel burdened by his feelings....." so I guess he won't be offering much emotional support.

I just don't understand why you'd have a kid with someone who doesn't really want another one. It's unfair to all parties involved.

Agree!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I can see why someone might have a baby in spite of ambivalence towards it - peer pressure is really strong in some circles. I mean, I've never particularly wanted children, a fact that I am open about, and even I feel a twinge sometimes if I watch certain tv shows or movies (I'm not talking about the "what if" thoughts that I think most women experience as they grow older). And my family and friends are totes respectful of my choices - no misty-eyed mention of grandkids from my mom, for example.

This woman must have been hearing "why would you NOT want another baby?" for some time. Compound that with religious sentiment and she probably feels it's not only her duty to bear another child, but to be really friggin' HAPPY about it too.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It looks like she's getting support, not judgment, on that forum.

She said that she's had a number of early losses, so that's likely part of the explanation behind the large age gap.

Some ambivalence is normal, religious or not. This sounds like a VERY wanted and intentional pregnancy. She's both hopeful and fearful, because of the previous losses, and that can really play with your emotions. It's also really normal to be excited, and at the same, to be a bit nervous about the physical birth and the increased responsibilities.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.



  • Recent Status Updates

    • Bluebirdbluebell

      Bluebirdbluebell

      I highly recommend Not the Good Girl's Youtube channel. She is making great documentaries about cults.
      · 0 replies
    • BlackberryGirl

      BlackberryGirl

      Ohh jeeze, GrandBerry6 just came to me, snuggled his face in my neck and barfed, all over me. In my neck, in my hair, on my face, down inside my nightie all over the front of my nightie. Ohh FUCK! Bath, washed hair, cleaned sofa. Good times, good times.
      · 2 replies
    • Scrabblemaster

      Scrabblemaster

      I danced through my living room feeling awesome. From time to time I do this. Maybe wine is involved. Good music is definitely involved. It is awesome. I recommend it to you. With or without wine.
      · 2 replies
    • Hazelbunny

      Hazelbunny

      After a few months of trying to decide what kind of new computer to get and my brother telling me a Mac would be the best decision I could ever make and my sister telling me that would be the worst and I ought to stick to Windows.... I now have a used Mac. I am trying to get used to it. Not easy, but the Magnifying program is a lot better than the Windows one (that was the ultimate reason for my decision) and FJ works a lot better than on my 10-year old Laptop, too!!  
      · 0 replies
    • WannabeHistorian

      WannabeHistorian

      Y'all, holter monitors suck. And naturally the palpitations that caused this test to be ordered are remarkably absent today. 
      I'm off to go work out in the hopes that triggers it. T minus 10 hours till I get this thing off. 
      · 4 replies
    • 47of74

      47of74

      Fuck Fornicate.  Glad I got in to see this place before the world went to shit.
       
      · 0 replies
    • PreciousPantsofDoom

      PreciousPantsofDoom

      I frigging hate the toilets at this worksite. Specifically the door locks. Stupid little knoblet that isn't clear if it is locked or not. Door opens right off the main hallway and the toilet is just far enough from the door that I can't just hold the door shut in case I've got the lock wrong. I mean really people, how hard is it to design this? I just want to pee in private with no anxiety. Apparently that is too much to ask for. 
      · 1 reply
    • 47of74

      47of74

      First thing I'm doing when I get to the hereafter is finding the ancestors who moved to the US in the first place and asking them what the fuck they were thinking moving here in the first place.  Along with giving them an epic the reason you suck speech hopefully in the presence of God and the Lord Jesus Christ Himself to all of them for condemning their descendants to living in a shithole.
      · 0 replies
    • feministxtian

      feministxtian

      Its STILL snowing. Its not like I don't have a million things to do and need to take crap to the dumpster. 
      · 2 replies
    • Chocolate Lover

      Chocolate Lover

      Do any of you play Dyson Sphere Program?   For those who don't know what it is I'd suggest Googling it, because there's no way I could do it justice. 
      There's always just one more thing to do before I turn off.  Blink!  And it's 2 hours later.  
      · 0 replies
  • Recent Blog Entries

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.