Misogynist Douchbags at Boundless

[Shina]

Seriously, why do I torture myself by going to a Focus on the Family website? The articles are cringe-worthy and fundie-lite, but the comments...oh the comments are a goldmine of fuckwittery!

 

http:// community.focusonthefamily.com/b/boundless/archive/2013/07/17/the-other-side-of-early-marriage.aspx?pi202=1#comments

 

Some highlights for those of you who don't feel like digging through the shit:

1. Women who don't "make marriage a priority" at 20 (meaning going to college and gasp having a career) secretly don't want to get married, because otherwise we'd obviously marry the first good Christian man TM who asked us out.

2. Some tool is outraged that women cut their hair shorter than he prefers, wear clothing he doesn't find attractive, and are over his preferred weight. No wonder they aren't married!

3. Expecting a Good Christian Man TM to marry a women who's dared to have sex is like condoning pedophilia..or something. My rage blinded me a little over this one.

 

Luckily, the misogynist douchecannons are getting verbally slapped by the less dickish Boundless members.

[gustava]

I'm raising a G&T to you. You need one!

[Columbia]

*crawls out of lurkdom*

I follow Boundless fairly closely. If you think that thread is bad, you need to see the ones from this time a year ago; they were pretty ugly. Boundless has always attracted a rather unpleasant male type, but my theory is that since the "Christian" Men's Defense Network shut down (poor babies) the MRAs haven't had anywhere else to go.

*resume lurk*

[Miggy]

1. Women who don't "make marriage a priority" at 20 (meaning going to college and gasp having a career) secretly don't want to get married, because otherwise we'd obviously marry the first good Christian man TM who asked us out.

2. Some tool is outraged that women cut their hair shorter than he prefers, wear clothing he doesn't find attractive, and are over his preferred weight. No wonder they aren't married!

3. Expecting a Good Christian Man TM to marry a women who's dared to have sex is like condoning pedophilia..or something.

On the second point, I'm not sure which I find funnier - the fact this guy is judging purely on outside appearances while claiming to be Christian or the fact he seems to assume all guys want a girl that looks exactly the same.

Hey, if you're not tall, skinny, long wavy blonde hair and blue eyes you'll never get a husband, right? I know we've snarked on this idea before but I love the idea if threatening men with the same sort of judgements;

(1) You must be earning at least $100,000 to support me. I will not settle for anything less as I want a choice of whether to work.

(2) You must be 170-180cm tall as I want a husband who is taller than me but not a giant.

(3) You must not be too skinny because that is not masculine but not too solid either, as I prefer medium sized men.

(4) You must have .... etc, etc, etc.

[bananacat]

On the second point, I'm not sure which I find funnier - the fact this guy is judging purely on outside appearances while claiming to be Christian or the fact he seems to assume all guys want a girl that looks exactly the same.

Hey, if you're not tall, skinny, long wavy blonde hair and blue eyes you'll never get a husband, right? I know we've snarked on this idea before but I love the idea if threatening men with the same sort of judgements;

(1) You must be earning at least $100,000 to support me. I will not settle for anything less as I want a choice of whether to work.

(2) You must be 170-180cm tall as I want a husband who is taller than me but not a giant.

(3) You must not be too skinny because that is not masculine but not too solid either, as I prefer medium sized men.

(4) You must have .... etc, etc, etc.

Honestly, these mean already believe that all women demand those things, and so they feel justified in being demanding and shallow when it comes to women. And then they use this false belief to make excuses for why women won't date/marry them, because they believe all women are just shallow gold-diggers and they avoid ever looking at their repulsive personalities. Or for the few that do manage to make a lot of money and look conventionally attractive, they get really frustrated that women don't universally want what they first thought and then get even more resentful.

[Angharad Crewe]

I like how several female posters on the boundless site rightly pointed out the hypocrisy and stupidity of the MRA-type posts. Unfortunately, they were dismissed because "men are better at thinking and being logical than women."

It's funny (and very telling) when someone starts using MRA lingo in a non ironic way: hypergamy, pair bonding, captain-first officer, "natural male preferences," etc. Not only is misogyny biblical, it's also science! Hopefully the more reasonable posters at boundless take note of these linguistic tells and avoid these assholes like the plague.

[Shina]

God! Even in my most devout, dabbling with fundie-lite ideology days these twerps would have infuriated me!

[NurseNell]

Speaking of Focus on the Family I would love to know the story behind James Dobson's son's divorce. Dobson's two children are adopted. I don't think the girl has ever married, or hadn't the last time I checked. The son did get married but was divorced in a rather short time. I know he is involved in his father's ministry. I always sensed that maybe he was gay. Focus on the Family scrubbed their site clean of any references about the marriage and divorce.

[JesusFightClub]

FFS (quite literally)

This doesn't make sense. I'd just like to make a couple of points.

If you want to have children and get married, that should be your first priority, not your last. Marry, raise your children, THEN go to school. Nobody says you can't be a doctor, but when you put your career ahead of seeking marriage, you are not following a biblical model unless you were specifically called to remain single.

You can't as easily train to be a doctor when you're 38 and have kids in college as you can when you're 18 and have no kids. The God you believe in didn't make it work that way. That give you a clue at all?

Complicating matters is that those who were found inadequate at 22 might choose to focus on their careers instead, and get used to making money with no personal responsibilities. That then becomes a bigger thing to give up: the next promotion might require too many hours to ever see a family, so the choices become harder.

It was really eye-opening when I was about 24, and a woman in her early 30's was quitting her $100K+ sales management job to be a mom. At her going-away lunch she explained that they had spent months banking her entire paycheck to make sure they could live OK without her working. It kind of blew up the idea that women all wanted to put their career first.

That's right, when you're too ugly at 22 for any man to want you you get obsessed with making money and your rich friends reveal at 30+ that they have been saving all along and their savings shame you. You learn from this that you should have saved so if a man ever desires you you'd at least have enough money so you won't have to work, which will tempt him even though you aren't particularly attractive.

WHAT THE LIVING FUCK.

[walnut]

Have a job.

Move out from Mama's Inn by the time you turn 23.

Have a full set of good looking and polished teeth and a good breath.

Have at least a basic layer of muscles on your body.

Do not be a dwarf because most men that are smaller than average women in their culture are insecure assholes.

Do have a good credit.

Do have some cash in the bank.

Do have a degree and be at least bilingual.

Do not smoke, it is a nasty habit and refrain from getting shitfaced.

Do not have a criminal record.

Do not have lazy bums for friends.

Have good looks and good manners, take care of your mind, soul, body.

Now how many of these nobodies would get huffed up after just a few sentences? I have all these. I CAN expect a man to be like that, and I do.

[GenerationCedarchip]

Speaking of Focus on the Family I would love to know the story behind James Dobson's son's divorce. Dobson's two children are adopted. I don't think the girl has ever married, or hadn't the last time I checked. The son did get married but was divorced in a rather short time. I know he is involved in his father's ministry. I always sensed that maybe he was gay. Focus on the Family scrubbed their site clean of any references about the marriage and divorce.

There was an article about him in Christianity Today back in 2011 that talks about what he's up to. Here it is:

christianitytoday.com/ct/2011/july/family-talk-dobson.html

[NurseNell]

There was an article about him in Christianity Today back in 2011 that talks about what he's up to. Here it is:

christianitytoday.com/ct/2011/july/family-talk-dobson.html

Thanks. I did find some articles earlier. Ryan Dobson is remarried and has a young son named Lincoln. I didn't find anything about Danae, the daughter.

[Diana]

God! Even in my most devout, dabbling with fundie-lite ideology days these twerps would have infuriated me!

this ideas are so crazy, sad that somebody believe in that.

(By the way a big offtopic, but i just saw your profile picture Shina and was surprised seeing that dish here :D , have you been in north spain recently? i like octopus too!)

[IrishRose]

God! Even in my most devout, dabbling with fundie-lite ideology days these twerps would have infuriated me!

I think I fell onto this site or something very similar when I was single. OMG...the shaming the guys would give me and any other girl discussing weight loss...that we'd never get a husband because we weren't respecting our "temple" by being thin. Surprise, surprise...I got married a year later!

[Shina]

this ideas are so crazy, sad that somebody believe in that.

(By the way a big offtopic, but i just saw your profile picture Shina and was surprised seeing that dish here :D , have you been in north spain recently? i like octopus too!)

It does make me happy that the fundie Boundless crew (Of the, I'm not a feminist but I believe in equality schtick) have been ripping the crazies a few new ones.

Diana, I've been living in northern Spain for the past couple of years actually.

[LucySnowe]

A comment:

My dream was to marry by age 25 and have all of my children by age 30. I was definitely ready in all areas-spiritually, emotionally, educationally, financially, etc., but it didn't happen. In fact, I wasn't asked on a single date throughout my twenties. I'm 33 years old now and still waiting and still hoping that marriage and family will be a part of my story. I have prayed for it consistently for 11 years. It's not easy, but I do have peace.

I kind of want to take her to a diner and buy her a cup of coffee and explain why things aren't the way she dreamed of, but on the other hand, I'm not sure there's enough coffee in the world (even at a diner which does bottomless cups) - if she's 33, she really ought to have figured it out by now.