Women and the college hook up culture

[SpeakNow]

Fundies would flip their kids if they read this article, and, at the same time, they would love the following quote.

"Paula England, a sociologist at New York University, who led an online survey of 24,000 students at 21 universities called the Online College Social Life Survey, said that women tended to fare much better sexually in relationships than in hookups.

“Guys don’t seem to care as much about women’s pleasure in the hookup, whereas they do seem to care quite a bit in the relationships,†Dr. England said. By contrast, women “seem to have this idea they’re supposed to be pleasing in both contexts.†In hookups, women were much more likely to give men oral sex than to receive it.

Part of the reason men aren’t as focused on pleasing women in hookups, Dr. England said, is the lingering sexual double standard, which sometimes causes men to disrespect women precisely for hooking up with them.""

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/14/fashi ... wanted=all

[singsingsing]

The whole 'hook-up culture' thing is so overblown, I guess because the media finds it salacious. There was a Canadian study that came out recently that said most university students (including females) who were sexually active were having sex in the context of a committed relationship, and most of the women, whether in a relationship or not, were happy with their sex lives.

[bananacat]

The problem is with the sexual double standard, not with hook up culture. Quite frankly, I shouldn't have to commit to a relationship that I don't want to be in just to get sexual satisfaction. I hooked up in college, and I still do to some extent. Some boys probably disrespected me, and certainly there were some who had little motivation to care about my satisfaction. And I never hooked up with those boys a second time. I even became fairly good at spotting them and avoiding them before even having a first time.

[tenth muse]

That's interesting, although I can't say that there is a prominent hook up culture at my uni.

[nerdymama1]

It's not like it's hard to hide from the "hook up culture" anyway.

[longskirtlotsakids]

The whole 'hook-up culture' thing is so overblown, I guess because the media finds it salacious. There was a Canadian study that came out recently that said most university students (including females) who were sexually active were having sex in the context of a committed relationship, and most of the women, whether in a relationship or not, were happy with their sex lives.

[crazyforkate]

Honestly, if you're careful, what on earth is wrong with trying things out? I've had friends in college ranging from happy virgin to hook-up queen, and what was most important was THEIR level of comfort with their sexuality, not anyone else's. Hook-up culture is entirely dependent on the person hooking up. When will people realize that another person's sex life is none of their business?

[2xx1xy1JD]

Honestly, if you're careful, what on earth is wrong with trying things out? I've had friends in college ranging from happy virgin to hook-up queen, and what was most important was THEIR level of comfort with their sexuality, not anyone else's. Hook-up culture is entirely dependent on the person hooking up. When will people realize that another person's sex life is none of their business?

The main issue would be the fact that, realistically, we know that not everybody will be careful. If the condoms work properly and safe practices are used (keeping in mind that herpes can be spread through oral sex, for example), no problem, but if they don't, increased # of partners = increased risk of disease, and if someone gets pregnant, a hook-up is not likely to be the ideal choice for your child's other parent.

[PinkPrincess0213]

The whole 'hook-up culture' thing is so overblown, I guess because the media finds it salacious. There was a Canadian study that came out recently that said most university students (including females) who were sexually active were having sex in the context of a committed relationship, and most of the women, whether in a relationship or not, were happy with their sex lives.

Sunshine doesn't think it's so overblown.....

sunshinemaryandthedragon.wordpress.com/2013/07/17/she-can-play-that-game-but-will-she-win-or-lose/

The comments make me crazy, must stop reading them..... :angry-banghead:

[Shirley MacLaine]

I am really tired of think pieces about the hook-up culture, especially when the angle is all horrified that straight women might no longer be interested in boyfriends? Well, news flash, they don't want JUST ANY boyfriend. I'd rather have a shitty one night stand than a shitty boyfriend.

Also, in the latest one that blew up in the NYT or whatever, some of the women said they didn't have time for a serious relationship because they're invested in their studies and their jobs/internships. Well, good! I grew up in the south, so at 26 I have friends who are already divorced because they got serious early and followed the template of dating ---> marriage just because they thought it was what they should do. They'd have been better off holding off on relationships and just doing their own thing.

Anyway, personally, I didn't hook up with randoms in college (I dropped out about halfway through) because I was really hung up on the boyfriend I went into college with and kept hooking up with him off and on, and in retrospect I feel kind of embarrassed for being so into that one dude. Then again, I didn't start ~hooking up~ until I was 21, by which time I had done a lot of reading and thinking and had very strong ideas about boundaries and all that good shit, so I don't feel too bad about it. I've had a lot of sexual encounters and no regrets.

[polecat]

Meh. I never really dated at all. I only ever had FBs, and of those, I can only think of one or maybe two who didn't pay as much attention to my own needs as they did to theirs. Of course, this was in the early and mid 90s, so maybe it was different then. And in spite of SSM's assertions, I've settled down and been married for more than a dozen years. We seem to be doing just fine in spite of my past sluttiness. :D