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Praying for Ian blog gets boring...


Eternalbluepearl

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I just don't get the latest post by Larissa. "Things a Wife Loves" and then a few pictures including a picture of an outdoor light. Okay then... It seems like she's really reaching for something to say about their life together yet they are writing a book.

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I just don't get the latest post by Larissa. "Things a Wife Loves" and then a few pictures including a picture of an outdoor light. Okay then... It seems like she's really reaching for something to say about their life together yet they are writing a book.

She may have been told that people won't pay to read stuff that has already been published online....

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Well, I'm a wife, and I love outdoor lighting, too. I don't blog about it, however.

I think you're right-- she's keeping content for people who will buy her book. I'll guess we'll get a few excerpts as the publication date gets closer.

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My reaction was quite different. I found that post really depressing, as I do most of her blog. It felt like she is grasping at happiness straws - desperately trying to find moments of pleasure. I also read it as her grief about not having children.

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She may have been told that people won't pay to read stuff that has already been published online....

I agree with this. She is probably keeping things on the down low because of the book. She said they sent in manuscript recently. I'm not trying to sound cruel, but I think part of the reason the blog is a bit boring because not much is changing with Ian. I thought it was interesting that they set up an etsy shop to sell his paintings to cover therapy and they are saying that he is learning to walk again. Again not trying to be cruel, but that sounds odd to me since his accident happened almost seven years ago. I have to wonder if Larissa and Katie from the Ben and Katie blog lie about the conditions of their husbands.

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Frankly, once the shock of their situation wears off, I find that blog to be incredibly boring.

I can't read it. I watched a bit of the wedding video, and frankly, developed a bit of hatred for everyone involved who encouraged her to marry him and while I pity her, I also think she was incredibly stupid to marry him. His accident was a tragedy. Their marriage only compounds the tragedy.

The link to his paintings that they are trying to sell and have sold etsy.com/listing/129804628/blue-original?ref=shop_home_active ETA( It now says 8 dolllars, but I could have sworn it said $45 earlier)

indicate to me that he is far worse off than I suspected, and I had very low expectations of his abilities. I was thinking along the lines of a 10 year old, but the "painting" looks like something a child much younger would do. If this is any indication, I can only believe people are viewing these purchases as "donations" .

I cannot imagine being married, from wedding day on, to a person with these limited capabilities. Just looking at her blog makes me wonder how she manages not to commit suicide. It is the most depressing and miserable thing I've ever read.

IF something were to happen to my husband that left him in a similar situation, I at least have 30+ years of memories and life that we shared. At this point, I can't see that they share anything, much less anything resembling what we would call marriage.

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I can't read it. I watched a bit of the wedding video, and frankly, developed a bit of hatred for everyone involved who encouraged her to marry him and while I pity her, I also think she was incredibly stupid to marry him. His accident was a tragedy. Their marriage only compounds the tragedy.

The link to his paintings that they are trying to sell and have sold etsy.com/listing/129804628/blue-original?ref=shop_home_active ETA( It now says 8 dolllars, but I could have sworn it said $45 earlier)

indicate to me that he is far worse off than I suspected, and I had very low expectations of his abilities. I was thinking along the lines of a 10 year old, but the "painting" looks like something a child much younger would do. If this is any indication, I can only believe people are viewing these purchases as "donations" .

I cannot imagine being married, from wedding day on, to a person with these limited capabilities. Just looking at her blog makes me wonder how she manages not to commit suicide. It is the most depressing and miserable thing I've ever read.

IF something were to happen to my husband that left him in a similar situation, I at least have 30+ years of memories and life that we shared. At this point, I can't see that they share anything, much less anything resembling what we would call marriage.

All that, AND she is supposed to submit to him as her "leader in Christ" or whatever. It boggles the mind.

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The blog is boring, but I rad it mostly because I feel sorry for her, and because part of me thinks she's going to crack eventually and run away or something.

How she let herself be manipulated into marrying him, I have no idea, but I want to find her parents and smack them around for letting Ian's dad guilt her into marrying his disabled son. Mostly I think the dad wanted a guaranteed long term care policy for his son, and she was it.

One entry revealed to me that she's maybe not as sanguine with her deal as she'd like to appear. She vaguely hints at telling Ian about "temptations", or something she's uncomfortable with....and basically he tells her he knows she's not going anywhere because she doesn't want to burn in hell. The entire thing is awful.

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The link to his paintings that they are trying to sell and have sold etsy.com/listing/129804628/blue-original?ref=shop_home_active ETA( It now says 8 dolllars, but I could have sworn it said $45 earlier)

Postage and handling is $8, the "painting" is $45.

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The blog is boring, but I rad it mostly because I feel sorry for her, and because part of me thinks she's going to crack eventually and run away or something.

How she let herself be manipulated into marrying him, I have no idea, but I want to find her parents and smack them around for letting Ian's dad guilt her into marrying his disabled son. Mostly I think the dad wanted a guaranteed long term care policy for his son, and she was it.

One entry revealed to me that she's maybe not as sanguine with her deal as she'd like to appear. She vaguely hints at telling Ian about "temptations", or something she's uncomfortable with....and basically he tells her he knows she's not going anywhere because she doesn't want to burn in hell. The entire thing is awful.

I have thought about those same things and how Larissa's parents, friends, or relatives allowed her to be manipulated by Ian's dad. A part of me thinks Larissa's side of the family kept sweet and quiet because they felt sorry for Ian's dad and family.

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I had seen the video via Wartburg Watch, but never looked at the blog. Based on the video, is it really possible that he says all these spiritual things to her that she recounts on the blog? Or does she hear what she wants or "translate" it all into something more meaningful?

This whole situation is so sad. Especially given that they were only together for ten months prior to his accident. His family should have encouraged her to move on with her life.

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I had seen the video via Wartburg Watch, but never looked at the blog. Based on the video, is it really possible that he says all these spiritual things to her that she recounts on the blog? Or does she hear what she wants or "translate" it all into something more meaningful?

This whole situation is so sad. Especially given that they were only together for ten months prior to his accident. His family should have encouraged her to move on with her life.

She has little post its of daily saying and the vast majority are "i love my wife" statements. What I heard on the video indicates he can make very few basic statements. I notice no one on ones with him and an outside person, always her translating. I suspect she can understand him better than most people, but I also don't believe they can have the advanced theological discussions she seems to indicated they do. I view it as a combo of denial, wishful thinking and marketing.

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this weekend, I spoke to 2,200 incredible and encouraging women of Philadelphia. Ian joined us by Skype and I only wish that we could be back there.

Latest, and complete, blog entery from Praying for Ian. I'm getting sort of stalky with them. For some reason, I want to see what that skype was like-- I keep hoping I am overestimating his disability (though having to get a judge to give a court order allowing him to marry makes me think maybe i'm not. )

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I watched a bit of the wedding video, and frankly, developed a bit of hatred for everyone involved who encouraged her to marry him and while I pity her, I also think she was incredibly stupid to marry him. His accident was a tragedy. Their marriage only compounds the tragedy.

The link to his paintings that they are trying to sell and have sold etsy.com/listing/129804628/blue-original?ref=shop_home_active ETA( It now says 8 dolllars, but I could have sworn it said $45 earlier)

indicate to me that he is far worse off than I suspected, and I had very low expectations of his abilities. I was thinking along the lines of a 10 year old, but the "painting" looks like something a child much younger would do. If this is any indication, I can only believe people are viewing these purchases as "donations."

I cannot imagine being married, from wedding day on, to a person with these limited capabilities. Just looking at her blog makes me wonder how she manages not to commit suicide. It is the most depressing and miserable thing I've ever read.

IF something were to happen to my husband that left him in a similar situation, I at least have 30+ years of memories and life that we shared. At this point, I can't see that they share anything, much less anything resembling what we would call marriage.

These "paintings" made me want to cry. They say so much about this poor guy's limitations. I think the judge who allowed this travesty of a marriage to take place should be removed from the bench.

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These "paintings" made me want to cry. They say so much about this poor guy's limitations. I think the judge who allowed this travesty of a marriage to take place should be removed from the bench.

I keep wondering if said judge is one of the church members?

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There are a lot of questions in regards to Ian and Larissa that I wonder about and which have been mentioned here. I have read about cases in which people with mental impairments do marry. But some of those people are more functional physically and mentally than Ian is.

As for the judge who allowed the marriage to happen, like salex I have to wonder if the judge was connected to the church or some other way. I agree with others on the paintings, they are a bit telling about Ian and I agree people are buying them as "donations".

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I kind of worry about Larissa facing some kind of backlash if the book does get published. It seems that it is going to happen based on her posts about deadlines and sending manuscripts. She would have to do some promotion stuff and if Ian is with her, I can see many more people wondering about Ian's mental state and their backgrounds. Publishing a book might end up a bad thing for Larissa.

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Regarding the paintings: I've seen toddler finger paintings that are better. Wow. That does say a lot about where he is, as do their titles. I assume the same man who utters deep spiritual truths also named a painting "blue and green blobs". Profound.

I wonder how much denial was involved in making this marriage happen. Both on the part of Larissa and of Ian's parents. For the parents, I'm sure the marriage was a way to convince themselves that he is still somehow normal. For her, I wonder how much it was based in denial that he was not going to get any better. She seems to hold out a lot of hope that he will somehow make big improvements, which is terribly unlikely after seven years.

On the other hand, there is the SGM factor. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that the denomination that includes Josh "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" Harris? How much did the teachings about "emotional purity" impact her decision to stay with Ian--it is clear that they were pretty serious by the time of the accident and expressing their love verbally. So she had "given away her heart" and all that. Perhaps she believes and/or was convinced by others that because of that there was no choice but to stay with him-- that she was ruined for any other relationship.

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The school where I was a school nurse was a special ed school. It was a rare student with an IQ over 50. When they graduated at age 21 or 22 each student would paint a portrait. Now there were a few who could do it independently, and one autistic boy at the severe end of the spectrum who was actually very good (and people did buy paintings he did), but mostly it was putting the paint brush in the students' hands and a staff person guiding the painting. They looked like Ian's paintings. The staff picked out complementary mats and framed them. They were given to the parents to mark their child's graduation. They were, of course, treasured. Ian's paintings are very much like these paintings.

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I do feel bad for her, and I definitely think she lacked/lacks the emotional maturity to have really gone into this with a proper understanding of what it entailed. I also wonder how much Ian's doctors, support staff, and others around her contributed to leading her to believe there was a good chance he could get significantly better, even if it took a decade. I remember watching a special on "locked-in syndrome" years ago, and there was a woman who held out hope against all odds that her husband was still going to get better, despite basically having been proclaimed a vegetable. Turned out he was entirely all there the whole time, he just couldn't express it. Took him something like 10 years, but he finally got to communicating, and his cognitive function hadn't been impaired at all, despite what his doctors had told his wife. My guess is, if you're young and gullible enough (and sufficiently in love), if you watch enough of these specials and hear enough of these stories, you can go for decades believing that your loved one, too, will be such a miracle case.

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I also wonder how much Ian's doctors, support staff, and others around her contributed to leading her to believe there was a good chance he could get significantly better, even if it took a decade.

Even if Ian's doctors were realistic about his prognosis, and warned her that he was unlikely to ever make much of a recovery, I'm not sure it would have mattered. Throw heavy doses of religion into the mix, and people will willfully ignore what medical experts have to say in favor of "God can heal anything if we just have enough faith." And in that scenario, marrying someone with Ian's deficits would be seen by their church community as evidence of that kind of miracle-working faith. Except the miracle hasn't happened, so she's reframed her situation into "Even with his disabilities, Ian is still leading me into a closer relationship with God."

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I looked at Ian's paintings yesterday and now Facebook gave me an Etsy ad with one of them. Damned FB stalking me.

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