Men need sex as much as they need air!

[Trynn]

So, I'm at a fundy friend's house browsing the bookshelf, because that is what I do when I go to someone's house, especially if there's a crowd. You can learn a lot about someone by what books they have, plus books are just interesting. Anyway, I found this book called His Needs, Her Needs (building an affair proof marriage, says the blurb on the cover.) Since everything else is either similar or medical textbooks, I choose this one and open to a page at random.

A Wife's need for affection is one of her deepest emotional needs. But all I've said here will prove of little value if a wife fails to understand that her husband has an equally deep need for sex. In the next chapter I'll confront the woman in an effort to explain why, for men, sex is not just one of several pleasant ways to end a lovely evening. To the typical man, sex is like air or water. He can't do without it very well.

That is quoted verbatim from the text. Is it just me or is the writing rather stilted?

Anyway, there is then a quote from else that says,

When it comes to sex and affection, you can't have one without the other.

1. Sex is as necessary to men as air? These same people will insist on waiting till marriage to have sex. So, waiting for marriage is the equivalent of waiting till marriage to breathe? Men are supposed to hold their breath for the first 18-25 years or so of their lives? The logic, it fails.

2. The quote is false, and really bothers me. I feel affection for my friends, but there is no sexual component to the relationship. And it is very very possible to have affectionless sex, particularly (though not limited to) cases of rape.

I was half tempted to steal the book for further snarking and then cut up the pages and put in the recycle bin so as not to poison anyone else, but, despite my lack of belief/trust in God, it turns out I do have morals.

[gezykah]

Something about those passages screams rape apologist. I can picture the author telling somebody, "He couldn't control himself! He's got needs and he wanted you so bad."

[Conuly]

Yes, it's tragic the number of men who die yearly from lack of sex. If only their wives/girlfriends/neighbors understood how dangerous it can be! Blue balls: don't let it happen to you, or somebody you love. Get your guy a blow up doll today!

[crassy]

Yes, it's tragic the number of men who die yearly from lack of sex. If only their wives/girlfriends/neighbors understood how dangerous it can be! Blue balls: don't let it happen to you, or somebody you love. Get your guy a blow up doll today!

The pro-life crew need to take up this banner as well. It is protecting life, right? So sad all the mens who are dying because they aren't getting laid. My heart bleeds.

[doggie]

So till men are married does Jesus relive Blue balls? Man that's a selling point. I had some lung problems and I will tell you I rather have air then sex any day.

[Syd+Marky]

Men might feel they "need" to get off once in awhile,but that doesn't mean they need sex.

[Trynn]

Erm.... What are blue balls?

Oh no, he can't do that! That's Masturbation, which I'm sure the author would say is ob de debbil!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!2!1!12!2!1!

[ILoveJellybeans]

Since when has anyone died from lack of sex?

No, not all men are horny sex addicts who constantly think about sex.

There also is a difference between sex and affection, they can go together, but they can exist independantly. Affection can also be non romantic, like you can be affectionate to family members and friends. Also asexuals dont feel sexual attraction, but are perfectly capable of feeling love and being in a romantic relationship

[Claddagh]

A man will live without sex for a month.

He won't live without air for a month.

[Jinger Jar]

Yet another example of the fact that fundies are some of the most sex-obsessed people out there.

And if men need sex like they need oxygen, I wonder how celibate men survive for as long as they do.

[salex]

Yes, it's tragic the number of men who die yearly from lack of sex. If only their wives/girlfriends/neighbors understood how dangerous it can be! Blue balls: don't let it happen to you, or somebody you love. Get your guy a blow up doll today!

I always assumed God made men's arms the length they are so that they could self medicate in cases of near terminal blueballs.

Even James Dobson said that it is normal and ok for boys/men to masturbate( which caused quite a shitstorm among his followers) http://www.democraticunderground.com/di ... id=3825934 (link discussing his view, didn't break the link because "democratic underground")

[Anise]

So after marriage, men can't live without sex, but before marriage they aren't supposed to even think about sex or masturbate. Perfect sense. :think:

[Carla Bruni]

Given the fundie community's focus on men needing sex all the time, I'm surprised they tend to completely overlook the fact that many women really like sex, too. Of course, unmarried sex-enjoying women are satanic sluts, we all know that much, but wouldn't it be much easier to convince married women to have more sexytimez if they were sexually liberated to begin with? Makes no sense.

[Pearl]

I think I read this book. I read so many, they all tend to blur together.

The idea of men needing sex so much that wives have to comply regardless of their feelings is one of the things that kills these marriages (or any marriage). If a susceptible (weak) man reads this nonsense and really believes it, then he probably (at least in my case) would guilt trip/force his wife to have sex. Even if the woman believes that she has to submit sexually, I can't believe that this doesn't ultimately kill the marriage for her (even if she stays married). Nothing says "you mean nothing to me" then forcing your significant other to have sex with you.

Thankfully, I divorced my ex and am now married to a real man that prefers to have sex when it's mutually agreeable to do so and likes that I have my own life, interests, friends and that I can make my own decisions without consulting him first.

[Bloo]

I know my husband needs sex as much as he needs air. That's why he puts his erect penis inside me involuntarily every fifteen seconds or so, even while he's sleeping. Makes my job a bit awkward, honestly.

[whirlygirly]

I have that book! At least I did at one point, I'm sure it went into the Goodwill bin years ago. My husband's aunt gave it to us. As a WEDDING PRESENT.

[BlondeAsTheyCome]

My husband and I were given this book when we were engaged. An awkwardly misguided pastor decided that we should read it. I still have no clue why he decided to give it to us. When we left our SGM church 6 months into our marriage, we threw the book away, along with many other harmful pieces of literature. It essentially boils down to the wife having to give her husband sex at any point because, if she doesn't, he will run off and have an affair, and it will be her fault because she didn't meet his "needs'. Her "needs", as described in the book, amounted to nothing more than emotions and the occasional cuddle.

[thoughtful]

I know my husband needs sex as much as he needs air. That's why he puts his erect penis inside me involuntarily every fifteen seconds or so, even while he's sleeping. Makes my job a bit awkward, honestly.

:lol:

Perhaps the author read "auto-eroticism" somewhere, and thought it said "autonomic-eroticism."

[infooverload]

I guess these men do not care if their wife is participating in the sex or not. After all if she is not in the mood she is probably going to just lay there and count ceiling tiles or thinking about when the baby is going to wake up. Unselfish men tend to want an active and willing participant. I think the big problem is men get fed the notion once married it is an open buffet of sex whenever they are horny and this idea is heavily fed by churches. The truth is most couples come to an agreement of compromise depending on schedules and other factors as to how often sex is going to happen.

[itsnikki05]

No. I'm pretty sure breathing trumps sex. Even really good sex.

And that made men sound like sex addicts or something. Also... What about women? Some need it just as much! And there are some men out there who have a lower sex drive. I hate blanket statements like that.

[desertvixen]

Of course, unmarried sex-enjoying women are satanic sluts, we all know that much, but wouldn't it be much easier to convince married women to have more sexytimez if they were sexually liberated to begin with? Makes no sense.

Then women might actually expect men to have techniques they like.

[jenny_islander]

Given the fundie community's focus on men needing sex all the time, I'm surprised they tend to completely overlook the fact that many women really like sex, too. Of course, unmarried sex-enjoying women are satanic sluts, we all know that much, but wouldn't it be much easier to convince married women to have more sexytimez if they were sexually liberated to begin with? Makes no sense.

Back when I was in charge of winnowing a church library of donations we really didn't need, I picked up one about how to be a good husband that turned out to really be about what to do if you, poor man, discovered too late!!!!! :pink-shock: that you had married a "sensuous" woman. What is a "sensuous" woman? A "sensuous" woman wants things without first asking her lord protector whether it's okay for her to want something at this particular moment. Like a paycheck. And hobbies. And free time without her husband around. And girls' nights out. And sex. And the solution? It wasn't phrased this way, of course, but basically the answer was, "Shame and blame her in any way you like that doesn't involve either raising your voice or actually calling her a pushy bitch, and if that doesn't work, wave your Bible, and if that doesn't work, get the pastor to wave his Bible, and if that doesn't work either, sulk until she caves."

The good Godly wife, by contrast, stayed at home alone, cooking, cleaning, accepting whatever small amounts of money, affection, and sex her cold-blooded and tight-fisted husband felt like doling out, never expressing by so much as a sad look her dissatisfaction with her deprived state, and instantly providing whatever he happened to want exactly when he wanted it. If the jerk who wrote the thing hadn't been a fundamentalist Christian, he would've been a Gorean.