Gay Man Arrested At Hospital For Refusing To Leave Sick love

[doggie]

This is just pathetic and I want chew the family and the hospital a new one.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/1 ... 60488.html

A gay man was arrested this week at a Missouri hospital after refusing to the leave bedside of his sick partner.

Roger Gorley went to Research Medical Center in Kansas City, Mo., on Tuesday to visit Allen, his partner of five years. But when he got there, a member of Allen's family asked him to leave, according to Kansas City Fox station WDAF. When Gorley refused, hospital security allegedly handcuffed him and forcefully removed him from the premises. Now he cannot visit Allen at all because of a restraining order filed against him by the hospital.

[Melissa19128]

That is so sad. This is one of the reasons I support marriage equality...

[ILoveJellybeans]

Thats terrible :( I think everyone should have the right to visit their partner in hospital, nomatter what genders they are, or whether theyre married, or how long theyve been together...why shouldnt anyone the patient knows get to visit them?

[Stephanie66]

This is illegal, as of 2010. Hope the hospital gets sued.

And yes, marriage equality would spare hospitals and families from making these decisions. However, unless it gets done on a federal level, I can't see Missouri going along with it. There are parts of Missouri that would probably not have allowed inter-racial marriage without Love V Virginia.

[PurpleSheepleEater]

This story makes me so sad. They did everything they thought they needed to, he even has power of attorney. I hope they take the hospital to court and win eleventy million dollars. And I also hope he gets into that hospital room immediately if not sooner. I assume the guy who has been admitted is having decisions made for him by people he did not want making decisions for him. So messed up.

[Stephers831]

This just pisses me off. The family and the hospital should be ashamed.

[Gil]

Latest update is that Gorley is now allowed to visit his partner and the hospital is claiming that he built a barricade to prevent medical staff from accessing his boyfriend.

[tropaka]

the article's been updated with the hospital's statement

UPDATE: 4/11 3:14 p.m. -- Research Medical Center responded to the allegations in a Facebook post on Thursday afternoon.

"This was an issue of disruptive and belligerent behavior by the visitor that affected patient care. The hospital’s response followed the same policies that would apply to any individual engaged in this behavior in a patient care setting and was not in any way related to the patient’s or the visitor’s sexual orientation or marital status. This visitor created a barrier for us to care for the patient. Attempts were made to deescalate the situation. Unfortunately, we had no choice but to involve security and the Kansas City MO Police Department."

The hospital also denies it ever filed a restraining order against Gorley.

[RosyDaisy]

This is just messed up. Would it have helped if Gorley's partner had a living will and power of attorney (with a list of people Gorley's SO wanted to see)? If the patient is conscious and coherent, could he not kick everybody out except those he wanted to see.

[tropaka]

apparently they did have a power of attorney

[PennySycamore]

Latest update is that Gorley is now allowed to visit his partner and the hospital is claiming that he built a barricade to prevent medical staff from accessing his boyfriend.

As for the hospital's claim: BULL-fuckin'-SHIT!

[Foxxit]

This just makes me angry. He had power of attorney, and the nurse didn't even check. Gay couples are often forced to take such measures so they can see each-other, however it only works if the hospital co-operates.

[Kitty]

This just makes me angry. He had power of attorney, and the nurse didn't even check. Gay couples are often forced to take such measures so they can see each-other, however it only works if the hospital co-operates.

This. And the hospital claims he was being "disruptive." I think anyone whose partner was IN THE FREAKING HOSPITAL who was told to leave by the partner's family would take umbrage to that, if anything the partner's family were the ones being disruptive by having someone who totally belonged there kicked out.

And it's probably just the hospital saying "Well, the partner's conservative Christian family doesn't like gays and doesn't want to be reminded that their loved one is gay, and we don't care for gay people either, so that guy had to freakin' go."

[Foxxit]

Here is an update on a blog, apparently the brother is at fault.

http://americablog.com/2013/04/intervie ... l-bed.html

[alba]

This story makes me so sad. They did everything they thought they needed to, he even has power of attorney. I hope they take the hospital to court and win eleventy million dollars. And I also hope he gets into that hospital room immediately if not sooner. I assume the guy who has been admitted is having decisions made for him by people he did not want making decisions for him. So messed up.

I wonder if this would have gone down differently if they'd been platonic friends, but he didn't trust his parents to make decisions for him so gave his friend power of attorney. I can't imagine such things are terribly uncommon for people who are single and with either no real relationship with their birth family or with serious moral or religious differences.

From the link above:

When the Kansas City Missouri Police Department arrived they asked my father to leave the room. He said to them, “No. This is my husband and I am going to stay with him.â€

The police considered that a violation of a direct order, so they began to forcibly remove him from the room. My father held onto the rail of the gurney as well as his husbands hand with everything he had. The police responded with brut and excessive force. The office began karate chopping his wrist to get him to release the gurney. Then they wrestled him to the ground forcefully enough to knock his glasses off of his face, his hearing aids out of his ears, and nearly break his wrist while they took him down. To handcuff him, they pushed a knee into his back and wrenched his wrists around.

What the ever loving fuck? I know it's hard to tell tone from a (potentially-biased) written account, but there's nothing there that suggests Roger was being at all antagonistic. For all he knew the police had no idea who he was and he thought that by explaining they were married the cops would relent.

[chaotic life]

He had legal power of attorney. It didn't matter WHO he was. The brother should have been removed immediately. The patient's wishes should have been honored both in his legal document he already signed AND in his verbal requests that his husband be left alone and his brother be removed.

What the hospital did was actually illegal. I expect better of Kansas City. They have a major medical complex and a top-notch medical school there. The couple needs to sue the hospital and specifically the nurse who violated both the law and her professional ethics.

This is EXACTLY why we need marriage equality in this country. The wiggle room the homophobic nurse had in the first place to behave in such a vile manner is the fact that a parent or adult sibling is the default next of kin without a legal spouse. If they were legally married, no there would have been conflict in care because the husband would be the next of kin and what the brother said would be irrelevant. In this case, the husband is only the power of attorney, so while he can make the medical decisions for his partner, he cannot have the partner's family booted unless the patient did it. No amount of legal documents can override the legal next of kin issue except marriage.

[alba]

He had legal power of attorney. It didn't matter WHO he was. The brother should have been removed immediately. The patient's wishes should have been honored both in his legal document he already signed AND in his verbal requests that his husband be left alone and his brother be removed.

Oh, I agree. I just can't help wondering if the nurse would have responded differently if they weren't gay.

[Salamander]

Article at Think Progress, "What Actually Happened To That Same-Sex Couple In The Missouri Hospital": http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2013/04/1 ... -hospital/ This entire situation is rage-making but this really pissed me off:

The police assumed because Roger is gay that he must have HIV. The brutal struggle had drawn blood, and one officer was so disturbed that he insisted on using gloves to handle Roger and refused to even take back his handcuffs.

Fuck the police, fuck the nurse, fuck the hospital. I wish both men a fast mental and physical recovery from this ordeal.

[J'ean Skirt]

the article's been updated with the hospital's statement

If my brother tried to keep my husband out of my hospital room, you can damn well bet my husband would "get belligerent." Of COURSE he was angry, and he should have been.

There's new info coming out this morning, too, including an interview with the patient's daughter-in-law.

thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2013/04/12/1857741/what-actually-happened-to-that-same-sex-couple-in-the-missouri-hospital/ has a good bit of info about what we know.

americablog.com/2013/04/interview-daughter-gay-man-handcuffed-husbands-hospital-bed.html is an interview with the daughter-in-law.

[J'ean Skirt]

Article at Think Progress, "What Actually Happened To That Same-Sex Couple In The Missouri Hospital": http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2013/04/1 ... -hospital/ This entire situation is rage-making but this really pissed me off:

Fuck the police, fuck the nurse, fuck the hospital. I wish both men a fast mental and physical recovery from this ordeal.

Gloves in the presence of fluid is standard operational procedure and is not a sign of a problem. Heck, I've gotten so far into the mindset of "all fluids are infectious" that I've even stopped and nearly gloved up before cleaning my own blood. And then there was the time I cut my thumb and started to go stick it in my mouth and thought "no! That's blood! don't get it near your mouth! Oh. Wait. Duh. It's your own blood!" Treating all blood from any source as infectious is the right thing to do.

The handcuff thing is bad and wrong and there is no justification for it.

[PurpleSheepleEater]

http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2013/04/1 ... -hospital/

If this article is even remotely close to what happened then I don't even know what to say. All faith lost in police, hospitals, family...... I mean seriously What. The. Fuck.

So glad they are at least together again. I hope they sue everyone.

[Salamander]

Gloves in the presence of fluid is standard operational procedure and is not a sign of a problem. Heck, I've gotten so far into the mindset of "all fluids are infectious" that I've even stopped and nearly gloved up before cleaning my own blood. And then there was the time I cut my thumb and started to go stick it in my mouth and thought "no! That's blood! don't get it near your mouth! Oh. Wait. Duh. It's your own blood!" Treating all blood from any source as infectious is the right thing to do.

The handcuff thing is bad and wrong and there is no justification for it.

I don't have a problem with them treating all blood as infectious. I have a problem with their assumption that because Roger is gay, he must be HIV positive. Admittedly and considering it's standard procedure, the use of gloves here is not on its own evidence of the officer's belief that Roger must have HIV. His heinous objection to take back his handcuffs, though, is.

[blisterine]

my friend from nursery school had a sister who had adult leukemia (i think it was leukemia, could have been another type of similar disease). out of all the siblings, he was a perfect match for a bone marrow transplant that could have saved her life. however he was rejected because he is a homosexual and vanderbilt hospital considered him to be too much of a risk to do the transplant which might weaken further and cause death.

she died 4 months later anyway.

this wasn't years ago, it was in 2010.

[chaotic life]

Yeah, I know the treatment was henious and wrong. This is actually what led me even when I was still taking sips of the Fundie kool-aid to be in support of same sex marriage, the fact that not allowing same sex couples to have the full legal rights of marriage will always continue to cause situations like this to happen. The nurse was 1000% in the wrong. She can be reprimanded, sanctioned, disciplined (by the hospital and the licensure board) and sued for medical malpractice. She can also be fined by JACHO for this behavior. Frankly, I hope that she faces EVERY disciplinarian action available and that the hospital rightly faces their finds and discipline for her behavior happening while clocked in at their hospital. The ONLY reason this happened is because of homophobia in the first place.

As for the police, it really depends upon what they were told. However, the behavior with the handcuffs has no explanation nor excuse, imo. Yes, you wear gloves for blood but once you have cleaned your handcuffs with solution that kills bloodborne pathogens (and frankly moron, Hep B is FAR more sturdy to survive outside of a host than HIV is) there is nothing wrong with the stupid handcuffs.

Had an HIV+ patient's blood on a bedside table while collecting blood for labs from him. Damn skippy didn't try to get rid of the stupid table, just did what I would do with anyone ELSE's blood there and cleaned it up appropriately and without drama. This isn't 1988 here, it's 2013.