Let's blame women for illegitimate births

[snuggles911]

My favorite fundie blog, Dalrck at Wordpress, had a long rant about the increase in illegitimate births today. He and his faithful followers believe these unwed baby mamas and their broods are destroying the lives of men.

His readers have all sorts of ideas on how to punish these women. here's a sample:

Mike Diver: I have stated before that I have two neices that heard their biological clocks ticking too loudly and found sucker/one night stands to impregnate them. These strong independent women wanted the men to have nothing to do with “their†daughters, but were insistant on child support, since it was the guys responsibility as they had not “kept it in their pantsâ€. These two intentionally got pregnant. They don’t come out and say it, but I was there before, during, and after. My opinion in these types of cases is that not only should the children have been taken from them and given to a two parent family, but the women involved in these types of scams should be forcably sterilized as unfit mothers for all time. I may be a little harsh but my solution would stop so many social problems or severely limit them.

In our current culture women can not be at fault for even intentional acts of vicious deception, but all men are guilty of sex as a crime.

Deti: A biological father has no investment other than his value as the draft horse and ATM for the model. He does most of the work and provides most of the money. His labor is coerced; his money confiscated. The mother receives benefits with no corresponding obligations. She is relieved of all consequences of a poor decision to create a bastard. The children are used as pawns, bloody shirts and the rationale for the system’s continued existence and operation. The State provides the administration and the muscle: the phalanx of lawyers, judges and social workers; and the cops and soldiers. The bio-dads WILL be made to pay. The society will be reordered to permit no class or other distinctions to be made based on parentage.

Strangely, none of his readers suggested that men wear condoms to help prevent unwanted pregnancies. :think: These poor men. They are being forced to take care of the children they sired.

[debrand]

M My opinion in these types of cases is that not only should the children have been taken from them and given to a two parent family, but the women involved in these types of scams should be forcably sterilized as unfit mothers for all time. I may be a little harsh but my solution would stop so many social problems or severely limit them.

A little harsh?

In our current culture women can not be at fault for even intentional acts of vicious deception, but all men are guilty of sex as a crime.

What is he talking about? Consensual sex and pregnancies aren't crimes.

His labor is coerced; his money confiscated. The mother receives benefits with no corresponding obligations. She is relieved of all consequences of a poor decision to create a bastard. The children are used as pawns, bloody shirts and the rationale for the system’s continued existence and operation. The State provides the administration and the muscle: the phalanx of lawyers, judges and social workers; and the cops and soldiers. The bio-dads WILL be made to pay. The society will be reordered to permit no class or other distinctions to be made based on parentage.

Taking care of a baby is not hard work? Being a single parent with sole custody is not hard work? Put on a freaking condom if you are that worried about creating a baby.

[Vex]

So this is the second Victorian era or something? Because in the Victorian era women were blamed for illegitimate births too. You know what happened to those babies, who didn't have child support enforced upon the fathers? They were sold as servants. Sent to mines and workhouses. Put in orphanages. Sent to baby farms. The result? Lots and lots of dead children.

So he needs to shut the fuck up.

Also I'm pretty sure that if a woman has court-ordered child support the man would be entitled to ask for visitation, wouldn't he? I'm fairly sure there are avenues for men when the mother of their child refuses visitation unfairly. Why do these idiots always conveniently forget that?

[PurpleSheepleEater]

Yep, single ladies all over the country are getting pregnant outside of marriage on purpose because that's definitely the easiest way to raise a child. Going after men for child support and then living a life of luxury is truly the easy way out. Duh!!

[dairyfreelife]

Of course women are to blame. They are serpents who are born simply to deceive men. Our eyes secretly hypnotize them and they become entranced by our beauty and that's when we strike. They cannot help but have sex with us and that's when they become trapped in our web of deceit now that we carry and birth his offspring where we rob them of all their money and resources until all the offspring are grown or he dies. That’s the whole purpose of a woman’s existence. It’s not like she has anything real to contribute to society, so she drains men of their success. We live in a matriarchy, not patriarchy, that idea is just women trying to manipulate the truth obviously.

[Dandruff]

These two intentionally got pregnant. They don’t come out and say it, but I was there before, during, and after.

He was there...during? Excuse me?

[ThisOlGirl]

So this is the second Victorian era or something? Because in the Victorian era women were blamed for illegitimate births too. You know what happened to those babies, who didn't have child support enforced upon the fathers? They were sold as servants. Sent to mines and workhouses. Put in orphanages. Sent to baby farms. The result? Lots and lots of dead children.

So he needs to shut the fuck up.

Also I'm pretty sure that if a woman has court-ordered child support the man would be entitled to ask for visitation, wouldn't he? I'm fairly sure there are avenues for men when the mother of their child refuses visitation unfairly. Why do these idiots always conveniently forget that?

Yep. It basically says in my divorce decree that if my ex-husband decides to stop paying child support, I do not have the right to keep the kids from him. I'm guessing that it's the same for custody/child support agreements between non-married parents.

I like how he's saying that both his nieces are demanding child support while denying visitation. I'm sure that those type of women exist, but in my experience, the guys that skip out on child support are usually not all that interested in spending time with their kids.

[alba]

Don't wanna father children? Get sterilised or put on a condom. In fact, if you're having a one-night stand you should be wearing a condom, end of story.

Besides which, child support isn't about punishing the father and rewarding the mother, it's about protecting the CHILD's interests. I thought that was what fundies were all about. Sure, you hear stories from time to time about rich women impregnating themselves from the spent condom and then claiming child support, but the fact remains that the financial, emotional and physical burden of having children outside of a relationship falls overwhelmingly on the shoulders of women, and having to give someone else a portion of your earnings is hardly comparable.

[apple1]

OK.

http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/tgr/05/1/gr050107.html

(link not broken; they won't care)

Disclaimer: These statements are US-centric.

- The percentage of teen pregnancies has declined dramatically.

- Abortion rate in teens has declined somewhat.

- There has been a slight increase in abstinent behavior.

- There has been a significant increase in contraceptive use.

- There has been a huge decrease in the percentage of teen pregnancies that are followed by marriage.

- The US still has significantly higher teen birth rates, compared to other developed countries.

My comment: Why would it be appropriate to follow one less-than-ideal situation (a teen pregnancy) with another less-than-ideal situation (marriage, either to an inappropriate person, or at an inappropriate time of life)?

As for the guy in the OP: I have no words.

[gezykah]

I though all children are a blessing from God! So when children are born in wedlock they are blessing and we should never turn down those gifts but if a woman gives birth outside of wedlock she should be sterilized? Fundy logic at its finest :roll:

[HtblckDesiato]

Dalrock is truly a hate read for me. He is a "Men's Rights Activist" with a Christian bent, so he buys in to all of the "alpha" vs. "beta" male characteristics, Pick-Up Artist "game," etc. The confusing thing is that MRAs and PUAs basically focus on getting as much sex as possible by acting like an alpha male. "Sluts" are any women who have sex with the PUA, and no one wants to marry a slut. And of course, today, most women are sluts. He infuriates me because anytime anyone calls him out, in the comments or even on other blogs, he writes a very "logical, reasoned" response. He is not like most of the other fundie blogs I read (or that are read here) because he is trying to appeal to a larger group of men.

He (and his commenters) all seem to believe that women only get married so that they can get divorced and live off of their ex's money. He even has his own (or perhaps a shared MRA/PUA) vocabulary for these things: "Divorce Porn" is any piece of popular culture that "encourages" divorce, like Eat, Pray, Love or How Stella Got Her Groove Back (he actually classifies Fireproof, that Christian schlock about a man who has to win back his wife, as Divorce Porn); women get divorced because they're not "haaapy" (that word kills me - I don't mind the extra "a"s, but why only one "p"???); women reason with "hamster rationalization" (obvs. they are not as logical as men); and more.

I actually got to him from a link from To Love, Honor, and Vacuum (tolovehonorandvacuum.com/), whose housewife, homeschooling, ministry-bearing author Sheila Wray Gregoire got into a little skirmish with him about the movie Fireproof (dalrock.wordpress.com/2011/10/30/firebombed/ if you're interested).

Alba, he actually did link to a post once where a guy got a vasectomy because he didn't ever want to be trapped into paying child support.

[alba]

Alba, he actually did link to a post once where a guy got a vasectomy because he didn't ever want to be trapped into paying child support.

Really? So he acknowledges that men are capable of taking responsibility for their own fertility. Though he probably blamed teh ebil feminists for making that guy get a vasectomy rather than allowing him to have children in a nice, patriarchal marriage.

[HtblckDesiato]

Exactly right - this guy WANTED to be a dad, he really did, but he just knew that his wife would divorce him, he'd never see his child, and he'd end up paying child support in the end.

It's all feminism's fault that there are deadbeat dads out there!

[burntnorton]

Two things. One, these idiots really don't know how child support, custody, and visitation actually work. Both parents have a child support obligation and it's based on income. If the noncustodial parent only makes 30% what the custodial parent makes, the MOST he will pay is 30% of whatever the total combined obligation is. If he has other children or is really low income, the obligation is reduced even more. Visitation is a separate issue. Permanent alimony except in limited situations is, quite rightly, extinct in most sta

tes.

Second, there is a certain group of people who are only comfortable being tptal righteous victors or total innocent victors. In divorce or child custody, they are in an unfamiliar situation where total victory is (properly) rare and expensive. So rather than work toward a reasonable compromise, they embrace the victim role. I've seen it play out with a few men. It's stupid and frustrating, but they get all this sympathy from the he-man woman haters club, so i guess it's worth it?

[docmom]

Maybe all the FJerites can chip in and buy Mr. Dalrock his very own vasectomy. We will save him from the scheming single mothers and prevent a tragedy (Dalrock Jr) at the same time.

[Savoring Samsara]

What is he talking about? Consensual sex and pregnancies aren't crimes.

He's talking about some kind of half-baked MRA idea where all women seek to trap men into fatherhood by sabotaging birth control and/or "spermjacking" (yes, really, spermjacking) men's precious bodily fluids so they can then leech money off of them for all eternity. Because, you know, us women can just crap out kids left and right without a care and it really doesn't affect our life at all, so we may as well just ride that gravy train for all it's worth.

[VooDooChild]

So true. My mother did just that. She had me then divorced my dad so she could live in the lap of luxury on the $500/month child support he occasionally paid. Let me tell ya, she just had the time of her life living off that money! It was nothing but the finest for us. :roll:

[Mama Mia]

Mike Diver: I have stated before that I have two neices that heard their biological clocks ticking too loudly and found sucker/one night stands to impregnate them. These strong independent women wanted the men to have nothing to do with “their†daughters, but were insistant on child support, since it was the guys responsibility as they had not “kept it in their pantsâ€. These two intentionally got pregnant. They don’t come out and say it, but I was there before, during, and after. My opinion in these types of cases is that not only should the children have been taken from them and given to a two parent family, but the women involved in these types of scams should be forcably sterilized as unfit mothers for all time. I may be a little harsh but my solution would stop so many social problems or severely limit them.

In our current culture women can not be at fault for even intentional acts of vicious deception, but all men are guilty of sex as a crime.

Wow, this guy must be oodles of fun at family gatherings ! His poor nieces :(

[Jinger Jar]

Maybe all the FJerites can chip in and buy Mr. Dalrock his very own vasectomy. We will save him from the scheming single mothers and prevent a tragedy (Dalrock Jr) at the same time.

I highly doubt our Mr. Dalrock has been close enough to labia this millennium to need to worry about preventing unwanted pregnancies.

[Hane]

Depressing real-life story involving someone I know:

(First off, let me say that I'm bringing up the woman in question because she's the ONLY woman I've ever met who's done such a thing.)

A male friend (I'll call him Sam) of my ex is now the poster boy for the "No Glove (+Spermicide +Hormonal BC), No Love" movement. He had unprotected sex with one of those rare women (I'll call her Deb) whose entire career plan consists of getting pregnant and assuming the child's father will be her meal ticket. Deb already had a teenaged daughter whose father had left the picture. After a night of torrid passion with Sam, Deb got pregnant again. Sam, being a genuinely good guy, married Deb and is an exemplary husband and father (to both kids).

Here's the problem: Sam doesn't really love Deb, and Deb is a manipulative psycho. Deb has never held a job for more than a few months at a time, and is always after other people for money. The last I heard, Sam was working 80-hour weeks, and Deb was a spendthrift. She simultaneously berates him for working long hours and for not earning enough. Whenever she's pissed off at him, she takes off to Canada with the kids, without a word of warning, only contacting him when she runs out of money and when extended-family drama makes her want to return home.

No, I am NOT going to go all MRA-sympathizer on Sam's behalf. I feel bad for him, and he really does love his little boy. But failure to make that crucial trip to the drug store has ruined his life.

[EyeQueue]

This guy is a real piece of (shit) work. Check out how one of his humpers not only blames women for illegitimacy, but laments how the children aren't socially ostracized like they were back in the good old days. What a bunch of a-holes:

"Another massive change is the social acceptance of mothers who bear children out of wedlock.

And not only acceptance of the mothers but the children as well.

I was sorting through an older family member’s things not long ago after his death and happened upon his birth certificate. I did not know that in our state, there used to be two boxes on the birth certificate marked “legitimate†and “illegitimateâ€, and one had to be checked. I tried to google it to see when that changed but could not find the answer. But being illegitimate used to carry a stigma for the children that followed them on their birth certificate for their entire life."

ETA: I just noticed that this humper is none other than Sunshine Mary of the now-defunct The Lady and the Dragon.

[snuggles911]

This guy is a real piece of (shit) work. Check out how one of his humpers not only blames women for illegitimacy, but laments how the children aren't socially ostracized like they were back in the good old days. What a bunch of a-holes:

"Another massive change is the social acceptance of mothers who bear children out of wedlock.

And not only acceptance of the mothers but the children as well.

I was sorting through an older family member’s things not long ago after his death and happened upon his birth certificate. I did not know that in our state, there used to be two boxes on the birth certificate marked “legitimate†and “illegitimateâ€, and one had to be checked. I tried to google it to see when that changed but could not find the answer. But being illegitimate used to carry a stigma for the children that followed them on their birth certificate for their entire life."

ETA: I just noticed that this humper is none other than Sunshine Mary of the now-defunct The Lady and the Dragon.

Maybe Miss Ray of Christ's Shining Love would like to stamp BASTARD on the foreheads of these children. That way we could make sure they were ostracized for the rest of their lives.