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Want to have more sex? Men, stop helping with the chores


Bethella

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http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/wa ... 17047.html

This article (which seems to be legit) cites a study in which couples who follow traditional gender roles in household chores have more sex than those who are more gender neutral with chores. :? I have to wonder if this is due certain fundy beliefs- ie if the couple believes in strict gender roles than they might also believe that a woman can't say no to her husband when he wants sex, so therefore they have more sex than they would if the woman can say no.

The study had some other interesting findings. For instance, twice as much time is spent on “female†chores (34 hours) each week than on tasks more typically considered “male†(17 hours).

Couples who participated in the study, most of whom split some of the "female" chores, reported having about five “sexual encounters†each month on average. But in those homes where the man stuck to his 17 hours of dude duties, the couples had 1.6 more sexual encounters per month.

Do the math: The female in the relationship is taking on 68 more hours of housework per month than the male is in exchange for about two sexual encounters.

“If the activity is coded as masculine or feminine and it expresses ideas about what makes the opposite sex interesting, attractive, alluring, mysterious, that seems to be related to sexual activity and possibly sexual desire,†Brines tells the Star.

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"The data was based on information taken from 4,500 couples polled as part of the U.S. National Survey of Families and Households, conducted between 1992 and 1994."

Psst...All of the people in the comments using this story as a platform to justify treating their wife like shit. Come back and talk to me when you have a study that is proportionate to number of married couples in the world and a study that isn't 20 years old.

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I think you're exactly right, OP.

Five hours a day. All this time I've thought I was just doing it wrong. That's depressing.

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http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/want-more-sex-survey-says-stop-helping-chores-213917047.html

I have to wonder if this is due certain fundy beliefs- ie if the couple believes in strict gender roles than they might also believe that a woman can't say no to her husband when he wants sex, so therefore they have more sex than they would if the woman can say no.

DING DING DING DING!

Same reason stats show that couples that don't live together before marriage are less likely to divorce. Who are most of the couples that don't live together before marriage? Religious couples that do not "believe in divorce".

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Funny, I'm sure I read an article on yahoo within the last 6 months that stated the exact opposite. Plus it was a way more current study. It ended with a "witty" line like "so men, if you want more lovin' go do the dishes or pick up the vacuum cleaner!"

Unfortunately I have no idea how to find the info again to prove it :(

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Anecdotally, my H is much more likely to get a little somthing something if he helps out with some of my chores (we split stuff pretty equally, but sometimes he does even more, just cause he loves me).

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I have my doubts about this study. Never trust statistics you haven't faked yourself. Or 78% of all statistics are made up on the spot. Point being that I do wonder about the nature of the surveys, who they were distributed to, who answered in the majority (egalitarian v. "traditional"), about cultural heritage, ethnicity, religion, individualism, and politics. It's sensationalistic to say that "traditional couples" have more sex, but that leaves out far too many factors that actually play a role in making that statement meaningful.

FFS, what sort of "tradition" are we even talking about?

If you're a really good Catholic, sex is off the menu every Sunday, Wednesday and Friday. No nookie in Lent, or on religious holidays. And that's only one faith that I know about. Some cultures have different domestic arrangements and so on, so... ahem, more info*?

* Not to the OP, just a general critique of quantitative studies that pretend to be universal.

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There's a study done in Sweden 2012, where the results are very clear. Men who help with the chores in the household score highest on the happiness and wellbeing-scale. The men who did their fair share of household work also reported less conflicts and arguments in the home. Surprised? Not so much.

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There isn't even a huge difference between the two groups, so Yahoo's headline is a bit much. :lol: 1.6 more times per month is not a lot! If a woman is more traditional, she's probably more likely to be a housewife or a SAHM, so she'd probably do most of her chores as her work during the day. Other studies have shown that even when women work outside of the home, they still end up doing the bulk of the housework, so one possibility is that women who work outside of the home are probably more tired and stressed out if the housework isn't evenly split, which could result in fewer sexual encounters.

ETA: [link=http://www.asanet.org/journals/ASR/Feb13ASRFeature.pdf]Here's[/link] the actual study if anyone is interested in reading it.

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they talked about this on bbc radio today and conflated "more" with "better".

I think they should count orgasms instead of incidents, myself. If she's doing him as a chore, that's not "better".

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If you're a really good Catholic, sex is off the menu every Sunday, Wednesday and Friday. No nookie in Lent, or on religious holidays. And that's only one faith that I know about. Some cultures have different domestic arrangements and so on, so... ahem, more info*?

.

I've never heard of that being a rule or even a guidance in the Catholic Church, at least not nowadays. Very brief googling suggests it might be an Orthodox practice?

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If such a discipline exists, it might actually stimulate desire on the days when sexual encounters are permitted.

Also: statistics 101 for the original article - false correlations are false.

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Maybe it's because the men doing all the housework were TOO TIRED TO FUCK.

I was going to say the same thing. It reminds me of that "mommy porn" thing going around where you see men doing the chores and helping with the baby.

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I've never heard of that being a rule or even a guidance in the Catholic Church, at least not nowadays. Very brief googling suggests it might be an Orthodox practice?

I went back and checked my sources, and, ahem...what I wrote is right if you're a 17th century French Catholic, apparently. :oops: I don't know why that stuck in my mind. Sorry.

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So if you offered women a choice; 1-2 more sexual encounters per month or more help with the housework, does anyone choose the former?

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Libby Anne has a really good post on the topic (and, yeah, 20 year old data? a commenter over there says the reason for that is the more recent phase of the study was defunded, which is super sad because marriage has changed a lot in 20 years).

The underlying theory of the researchers is that performing gender displays makes your partner think you're sexier. So it's not "fewer chores" it's "fewer girly chores".

Which is actually a really interesting theory. The whole manly man to womanly woman thing doesn't do it for me, but I run into enough erotica and romance novels written that way to think there are a lot of women out there who it is attractive to.

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So if you offered women a choice; 1-2 more sexual encounters per month or more help with the housework, does anyone choose the former?

I would!

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I think it would really depend on if by "traditional roles" they mean stay-at-home wives and working husbands. That model means everyone gets a little more down time, which means less stress, which might equal more sex.

If they are talking about couples where BOTH work full-time outside the home and then she does twice as much after work --- I challenge the validity of that statistic. Based solely on the experience of everyone I've ever met. ever.

Obviously there is a lot more that goes in to the quality and quantity of a couples sex life - but having one partner shouldering the vast majority of the workload would not seem to be a plus.

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