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Totally Not A Blog

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Vex

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I thought it might be a good idea to have a place to write about what's going on in my life, since big things are rapidly happening.

First thing is that I'm getting married April 2016. Possibly even March. It's happened pretty fast but there's really no reason to wait since we don't want a party or a big wedding, and the sooner we're married the sooner my fiance can apply for a spouse visa and live here full time. I'm so happy and excited to marry him, I wish we could do it even sooner. I really couldn't hope to find a better partner than him <3

Second thing is that I'm disabled and live with chronic pain. I've finally managed to get in to see a pain clinic that offers comprehensive treatment. That comprehensive treatment means 5 hour sessions with everything from psychologists, psychiatrists and surgeons. Three five hour sessions. That's going to be really hard for me. I hate talking to strangers, especially strange doctors because doctors have been so fucking useless to me for the past 15 years of my life. My fiance will be able to come to my final appointment with me (thank god), and my mother will come to the first (you have to bring a relative/partner to certain appointments) but I know she's going to say stuff that will humiliate me because she has zero fucking tact.

I'm also going to have to work on fixing up my apartment that I haven't lived in for 2 years so my fiance can move into it with me. It's going to be a bit of an adjustment, going from living by myself, being on my own all day to living with a partner full time.

He has a job lined up (not that he can be paid until his spouse visa is approved) that means in a few months when his tourist visa expires he'll be out of the house most of the day. I never really saw myself as the stay at home wife type, but here I am. Hopefully we can both finish up our degrees and one day I'll be in a position to work. I don't want him to have to be the breadwinner, that's too much pressure on top of having to move half a world away. He's prepared to do it because he's wonderful, but it's not what I want.

So yeah, got to fix up the apartment. Needs tons of cleaning (which I can't do, but my family is helping). I'll have to sort a lot of my shit into boxes and put the boxes... somewhere. God knows where. It's a lot going on at once for me and it's a bit overwhelming.

On top of all that I'm really sick at the moment. Like, can't get out of bed for more than a trip to the bathroom or kitchen for a glass of water.

If anyone actually reads this (which I doubt), don't worry. I'm sure I'll be on to bitterly eviscerating episodes of A Game of Thrones in no time at all. God damn, the writing on that show...

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Grimalkin

Posted

Hope you feel better soon! Take good care of yourself. Lots of exciting things to look forward to. 

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  • Posts

    • anachronistic

      Posted

      I really think that the only way you can change your beliefs is to think about them rationally, figure out where they came from, and commit yourself to trying. And if you don’t succeed at changing your feelings then you can often succeed at changing your outward expression of them.

      For example, (tw: kink prejudice) for years I was ‘grossed out’ by the pony play people in Pride parades. I thought that they didn’t belong there with us ‘nice’ gay people who didn’t let the world know our intimate fantasies. At the same time, I judged myself for not enjoying Halloween more. Then I thought about it for a long time and realized that actually, it’s the fact that I can’t see their faces that freaks me out, and it’s directly related to the Halloween thing.

      For whatever reason, I just don’t like it when people are obscured by costumes to the point where they no longer look human. It literally makes shudders go down my spine. (Without the head gear it’s fine.) Whether it’s a mascot, theme park character, costume or kink, I need to be able to confirm that you are, in fact, human. I think that this maybe stems from my very over -active imagination where I believed in fairy tales, magic, time travel, etc, for a very long time, into my teens, because adults and books told me these things were true, and why would they lie? I detest lying and fakery, and the idea that someone is genuinely enjoying pretending to be a horse is just too much for me to handle. Either you are a horse or you aren’t, but you can’t be in between. The dichotomy is too much. 
       

      So now when I see the pony play people I look away, because they freak me out, but I also look away during Halloween and don’t go to theme parks where those gigantic animal characters roam around. It’s not them, it’s me, and I fully acknowledge that. Braggie can’t ever do that because she has never had cause to examine herself in a critical way, and given how isolated she is, she will probably never have to.

    • JermajestyDuggar

      Posted

      My mother in law had a bad relationship with her own mother in law so she tries not to meddle. She wants to be nothing like her own mother in law. So we get along just fine. 

      • Upvote 1
    • WiseGirl

      Posted

      Take with a grain of salt but I was pleasantly surprised that the Hollywood Gossip article which was snarky about her oldest brother. They seem to be hoping he will get 20 years and they pointed out how poorly women in the cult are treated. From the article "But hey, if there's anyone who's accustomed to awful men taking priority of good, likable women, it's Jana,"

      It's a start. May more sites start pointing out how awful the cult is.

      https://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2021/06/jana-duggar-and-stephen-wissmann-secretly-engaged/

      • Upvote 2
    • Idlewild

      Posted

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      The girls are growing 

      Jeremy did a couple of theology courses and a preaching stint in Laredo 

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      They will enjoy walks and maybe an ice cream in LA

      That’s it. 

      • Thank You 1
    • JanasTattooParlor

      Posted

      7 hours ago, MamaJunebug said:

      First time I was in the lowcountry somebody talked about going to “Alla Pom.”  When I finally figured it out, I loved it!
       

      Been back several times but everybody who’s said it, since, has said “Isle of Palms.” I've been so. disappointed. I’d thought I had a secret password, but, no. Alas. 

      Well, be disappointed no more! My husband and I both say Isle of Palms as “Alla Pom” and it actually takes some concentration to say it the correct way. I didn’t actually realize I said it this way until I was reading your post and knew exactly what Alla Pom was before reading the next part. Now I’m trying to figure out what other cities around here I say differently, and I’m sounding out words to my husband while he just shakes his head at me 😂

      • Haha 1


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