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Totally Not A Blog

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I thought it might be a good idea to have a place to write about what's going on in my life, since big things are rapidly happening.

First thing is that I'm getting married April 2016. Possibly even March. It's happened pretty fast but there's really no reason to wait since we don't want a party or a big wedding, and the sooner we're married the sooner my fiance can apply for a spouse visa and live here full time. I'm so happy and excited to marry him, I wish we could do it even sooner. I really couldn't hope to find a better partner than him <3

Second thing is that I'm disabled and live with chronic pain. I've finally managed to get in to see a pain clinic that offers comprehensive treatment. That comprehensive treatment means 5 hour sessions with everything from psychologists, psychiatrists and surgeons. Three five hour sessions. That's going to be really hard for me. I hate talking to strangers, especially strange doctors because doctors have been so fucking useless to me for the past 15 years of my life. My fiance will be able to come to my final appointment with me (thank god), and my mother will come to the first (you have to bring a relative/partner to certain appointments) but I know she's going to say stuff that will humiliate me because she has zero fucking tact.

I'm also going to have to work on fixing up my apartment that I haven't lived in for 2 years so my fiance can move into it with me. It's going to be a bit of an adjustment, going from living by myself, being on my own all day to living with a partner full time.

He has a job lined up (not that he can be paid until his spouse visa is approved) that means in a few months when his tourist visa expires he'll be out of the house most of the day. I never really saw myself as the stay at home wife type, but here I am. Hopefully we can both finish up our degrees and one day I'll be in a position to work. I don't want him to have to be the breadwinner, that's too much pressure on top of having to move half a world away. He's prepared to do it because he's wonderful, but it's not what I want.

So yeah, got to fix up the apartment. Needs tons of cleaning (which I can't do, but my family is helping). I'll have to sort a lot of my shit into boxes and put the boxes... somewhere. God knows where. It's a lot going on at once for me and it's a bit overwhelming.

On top of all that I'm really sick at the moment. Like, can't get out of bed for more than a trip to the bathroom or kitchen for a glass of water.

If anyone actually reads this (which I doubt), don't worry. I'm sure I'll be on to bitterly eviscerating episodes of A Game of Thrones in no time at all. God damn, the writing on that show...

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Hope you feel better soon! Take good care of yourself. Lots of exciting things to look forward to. 

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  • Posts

    • anachronistic


      I really think that the only way you can change your beliefs is to think about them rationally, figure out where they came from, and commit yourself to trying. And if you don’t succeed at changing your feelings then you can often succeed at changing your outward expression of them.

      For example, (tw: kink prejudice) for years I was ‘grossed out’ by the pony play people in Pride parades. I thought that they didn’t belong there with us ‘nice’ gay people who didn’t let the world know our intimate fantasies. At the same time, I judged myself for not enjoying Halloween more. Then I thought about it for a long time and realized that actually, it’s the fact that I can’t see their faces that freaks me out, and it’s directly related to the Halloween thing.

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    • JermajestyDuggar


      My mother in law had a bad relationship with her own mother in law so she tries not to meddle. She wants to be nothing like her own mother in law. So we get along just fine. 

      • Upvote 1
    • WiseGirl


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      • Upvote 2
    • Idlewild


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      • Thank You 1
    • JanasTattooParlor


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      First time I was in the lowcountry somebody talked about going to “Alla Pom.”  When I finally figured it out, I loved it!

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      • Haha 1

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