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Sorry, I Have Plans


clueliss

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It is my busy season at work.  Said busy season is not over until late January (when the auditors have vacated the premises) or early to Mid-February (when the bosses have gotten back from round 2 of budget load).  It happens to coincide with 'the holidays.'   Also with winter and therefore shorter (darker) days.  All of which feeds my stress level.  And the stress feeds the depression at times.  

I'm an introvert.  And frankly, I feed people draining.  I may like you, I just want to like you from a distance.  I don't want to go to lunch (especially a group lunch) or dinner (especially if it is work related and after work hours).  After a long day at work and fighting my way home on a 35-minute drive (that took 2 hours last Friday thanks to ice) I really just want to watch TV, cuddle with the cat and catch up on the interwebs.  And when I squeeze in half a day of vacation to use it up I really don't want to spend that time with people I work with.  

So this morning I open my email at work and have an email saying lunch on Thursday. (long winded email babbling about a party back on Dec 10 that he couldn't host because work on his house and then wanting to do it in January but the work won't be done )  Great.  Thanks.  I have half a day of vacation then.  We're off on holiday on Friday.  And I don't want to eat lunch with you people.  I need to be away from you people.  And my mind is going through the logistics of lunch in the city (30 minutes away), time for lunch and then what - a 30-minute drive back to work?  Only for half the folks to drive back to the city at the end of the day.  Sure.  No, I see this coming.  He's going to let them off early.  He stopped doing this ages ago.  But my guess is he feels guilty.  Due to centralization they cut heads in our department this year.  

I refuse to be guilted or obligated.  I am not having lunch with these people.  Free food is not worth the stress of not having My Time.   I need My Time.   So my response is that I would be unable to make it because I was taking half a day of vacation that day and had plans.   My plans might involve bra shopping (I've lost weight the one I'm wearing doesn't fit right, I hate the mall and this is one of those shopping tasks that need to be done in person).  It might involve going home and cleaning.  It might involve reading or binge watching something or a nap.    But it is my time and my plans.  

I've also told my supervisor that if he lets people off early then technically my supervisor owes me time.  Granted this time of year that is likely not to happen but I may have enjoyed being demanding for a moment.  

And I've decided that I am worth a lot of things that I've denied myself.  Including my own plans and My Time.  

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Maggie Mae

Posted

Don't feel guilty. You are taking the day off - maybe you already had plans. Just say "sorry, I can't make it" and leave it at that. 

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MarblesMom

Posted

There is nothing worse, in my book, than forced outings with work mates.  That, and group tours/activities.

Sounds like just  about ANYTHING will be better than lunch on Thursday!  Enjoy!

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church_of_dog

Posted

I have used the "I have plans" excuse frequently.

Plans to take a bath and read a book are still plans.

Plans to build a fire and snuggle with the kittens are still plans.

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clueliss

Posted

Just learned that one of my coworkers was 'guilted' into being here on Thursday because his boss (the party/lunch person) needs to discuss something with him on that day.  The man has been down the road working from home, can't be bothered to come to work for even a part day so that his employee can take a vacation day.  And said coworker is wimp enough to give in to this and not say 'I have plans' so he's taking a different day.

My personal theme for 2017 is "I am worth it"  - and in this case I am worth using I have plans as a way of caring for self and putting my needs first.  

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  • Posts

    • GreenBeans

      Posted

      2 hours ago, Maggie Mae said:

      There is literally no reason to stop and reset during a cross country flight. It's just making the travel that much longer instead of going all at once.

      This! It’s not like the traveling itself would have taken days. They could have simply made their connection and would have been at the final destination a couple hours later. The way they organized it now probably means they had to get all their luggage, their cats and everything they brought hauled to whatever family they are visiting. And then in a couple of days they will have to pack up again, get to the airport, check their bags and cats again and go through security again. So they have two days of travel instead of one.

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      • Upvote 2
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      On 7/11/2024 at 8:22 PM, Audrey2 said:

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      Posted

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    • Ozlsn

      Posted

      3 hours ago, Bassett Lady said:

      I don’t mind that they want to see people they love, but why the prevarication

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      • Upvote 2


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