Question on Smockity Frocks 4 Moms Post

[yewchapel]

That's. . .that's. . .it's like a cleaner and less cluttered version of Emily!

I don't have kids but if the apartment is one-bedroom, I would let my kids have the bedroom rather than have a baby sleep in a deathtrap like that. I don't know about the US but kids aren't supposed to sleep in the top bunk of a bunk bed until age 6 here. That 'floating crib' is scary :shock: If the closet had a window I would be OK with it being the toddler's bedroom since it looks like a pretty big space, and have the baby in a crib in the parents' room.

Two kids = possibly time to get a bigger place.

[apple1]

Semi O/T, but there's now some evidence that "colic" is related to migraines. Children who had "colic" as babies were far more likely to have migraines than children who didn't. http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nati ... s/2086121/ (not broken, news site)

Even more reason not to leave babies to cry. I certainly wouldn't want to be left crying in pain.

Thank you for posting this link. I realize that it is early research and incompletely understood, but it explains SO MUCH.

My 2nd daughter had colic. (Aside: Those who think colic is just a catch-all term for a fussy baby have not had a baby with actual colic). As a now-grown adult, she suffers significantly from true migraines.

This possible link makes a lot of sense to me.

[formergothardite]

That's. . .that's. . .it's like a cleaner and less cluttered version of Emily!

They have toys in that top crib. :pink-shock: Toys that can be used to climb on and crawl over the rail. That really is just a clean, neat version of Emily's room of child death.

[idonthaveajname]

That's. . .that's. . .it's like a cleaner and less cluttered version of Emily!

Emily immediately came to my mind too. But there was no random dresses or stacked rubbermaid totes, so I knew it couldn't be her.

[ILoveJellybeans]

High up crib? Thats a child death trap :o

[dawbs]

Only waking up twice a night? Wow, I'm childless and that's WAY less than i wake up at night. Twice a night or every 4 hours, both of which have been mentioned on this thread, don't really sound that terrible to me.

Really though, there's a difference between waking up in bed and being awakened, having to get out of bed, taking care of something, then climbing back into bed and going back to sleep.

Those 'child caused' awakenings don't replace the 'normal' wake ups--they just add to them. So, if you normally wake up 3 times, every 2.5 hours, suddenly if your kid is up 2x in a night, you're looking at 5 times in an 8 hour stretch.

If you have issues falling back asleep, then you're looking at getting 30 minutes of sleep before you get back up again.

I have sleep issues; my husband has sleep issues, we did our darndest to do everything on demand. But we did reach our breaking points--both of us fell asleep while driving during the same week. I was late for work for 2 weeks straight. My husband used up his sick days to be home and nap. The babysitter we had gave us notice because she honestly couldn't take the level of 'needs to be held 24-7 so can sleep or she screams' that our child had.

Something had to give. At some point, (when she was 18? months old?) we did do a modified CIO; never allowed her to cry more than 45 min; we took all reasonable steps (tylenol, food, clean diapers, etc) first. But eventually...somethings gotta give.

I know that's not popular, but really, there is a point that "what is best for the family as a whole" trumps "what is best for a baby".

(and that applies to more than just sleep. It applies to "breast is best" when breastfeeding is 'bad' for mom. It applies to attachment parenting, when dad or mom needs to be less attached. It applies to what car to drive when I'm trying to avoid a minivan [okay, maybe not]. It...applies when there are *needs* of the others in the family that have to moderate what would be 'best' for the kids)

[dawbs]

Semi O/T, but there's now some evidence that "colic" is related to migraines. Children who had "colic" as babies were far more likely to have migraines than children who didn't. http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nati ... s/2086121/ (not broken, news site)

Even more reason not to leave babies to cry. I certainly wouldn't want to be left crying in pain.

Fuck, my child is screwed.

Having 2 parents w/ migraines already moves her odds up past 50% (I believe the last reliable paper I read on it said something like 73%?

90% according to migraine.com...http://migraine.com/infographic/10-sign ... migraines/) :crying-yellow:

[Drina Adams]

I know that's not popular, but really, there is a point that "what is best for the family as a whole" trumps "what is best for a baby".

(and that applies to more than just sleep. It applies to "breast is best" when breastfeeding is 'bad' for mom. It applies to attachment parenting, when dad or mom needs to be less attached. It applies to what car to drive when I'm trying to avoid a minivan [okay, maybe not]. It...applies when there are *needs* of the others in the family that have to moderate what would be 'best' for the kids)

Could not agree more. I'm expecting my second child and its a given that the attention the first one got simply won't be given to the new one, while the older one will also be discommoded. Do we only have one because that might be 'best for baby' or do we have another one because we want to have more than one child and have them have the sibling relationships we had? I breastfeed, and as a first time mother there were times when it was not best for me or baby, and we ended up combination feeding, which was infinitely better for our family. Every parent I know does their best, I mightn't always agree and would make different choices for our family but there's no universal best and there comes a time when the needs of one cannot dictate the lives of every other person in the family.

[Savoring Samsara]

Semi O/T, but there's now some evidence that "colic" is related to migraines. Children who had "colic" as babies were far more likely to have migraines than children who didn't. http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nati ... s/2086121/ (not broken, news site)

Even more reason not to leave babies to cry. I certainly wouldn't want to be left crying in pain.

That is really interesting. I'm told that I was an extraordinarily colicky baby, and I also had terrible migraines throughout my childhood and teen years (which since I hit adulthood have decreased greatly in incidence, thank god). I never thought the two might be related, but now that I think about it, it makes a lot of sense.

[Rosa]

My baby was colicky, for months, and still doesn't sleep well - we use melatonin, which helps quite a bit, but he still isn't going to just go to sleep because he's tired.

I think the *real* answer is for people to help parents out more, so we're not all trying to do "useful" stuff 24/7, whether it's paid work or perfect childcare, and get actual breaks for self care. My parents always wanted us to visit and they said they'd help with the baby but every time he cried - even if I was taking a very much needed nap - they just handed him back to me. Opposite of helpful.

[Irishy]

Could not agree more. I'm expecting my second child and its a given that the attention the first one got simply won't be given to the new one, while the older one will also be discommoded. Do we only have one because that might be 'best for baby' or do we have another one because we want to have more than one child and have them have the sibling relationships we had? I breastfeed, and as a first time mother there were times when it was not best for me or baby, and we ended up combination feeding, which was infinitely better for our family. Every parent I know does their best, I mightn't always agree and would make different choices for our family but there's no universal best and there comes a time when the needs of one cannot dictate the lives of every other person in the family.

Trust me, having a second baby is definitely best for baby in the long run. Even if attentions are diluted, baby 1 will get used to it and oh my god, having a playmate 4/5 years down the line is best for everyone!

[EmmieJ]

Semi O/T, but there's now some evidence that "colic" is related to migraines. Children who had "colic" as babies were far more likely to have migraines than children who didn't. http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nati ... s/2086121/ (not broken, news site)

Even more reason not to leave babies to cry. I certainly wouldn't want to be left crying in pain.

Interesting. One of my siblings was colicky as a baby, and she did have migraines growing up. She also had very painful menstrual cycles. In later years, she developed multiple sclerosis and now is in a nursing home.

[RachelB]

They have toys in that top crib. :pink-shock: Toys that can be used to climb on and crawl over the rail. That really is just a clean, neat version of Emily's room of child death.

I would like to point out, too, that the San Francisco Bay Area is rather seismically active. As in, we bolt our bookshelves to the wall so they won't fall over when the Hayward Fault does what it's going to do.

Maybe there's hardware I don't see securing that crib to the wall and guaranteeing that the side won't flip itself down when the building shakes? Otherwise, it's like the bed version of the Nimitz Freeway that collapsed during the 1989 Loma Prieta quake.

[LadyBlue]

Fuck, my child is screwed.

Having 2 parents w/ migraines already moves her odds up past 50% (I believe the last reliable paper I read on it said something like 73%?

90% according to migraine.com...http://migraine.com/infographic/10-sign ... migraines/) :crying-yellow:

I think the theory is that for some babies, "colic" actually is a migraine, not that it increases the risk. It's kind of sad that babies might be dealing with that kind of pain.

[Mama Mia]

Semi O/T, but there's now some evidence that "colic" is related to migraines. Children who had "colic" as babies were far more likely to have migraines than children who didn't. http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nati ... s/2086121/ (not broken, news site)

Even more reason not to leave babies to cry. I certainly wouldn't want to be left crying in pain.

That is very interesting. My one child who had colic also had severe headaches from a very young age.