I had a bad day and into the evening anxiety wise so it would seem like going to sleep early was a good thing.

Well, I didn't so much 'go to sleep' as 'crash while reading on top of the covers' but I'll take what I can get these days.

And it might have been a good thing if I didn't have a nightmare from hell, worse than any I've had in years.  It was as if my individual worries and anxieties all came to be in lifelike powerful manifestations and attacked me at once. I literally felt viciously attacked by my own fears.  Unfortunately it wasn't a lucid dream, which I do have from time to time...there was no escape button on this one.

I sat up bolt upright and it took me a second to realize the dogs were barking at something outside the living room window.  I ran to them, tripping over my dresser (ow) sure I needed to try to protect up and knowing I couldn't.  I was ugly crying, struggling to breathe, and my heart was pounding so hard it was scaring me on top of everything else.

During those first few seconds I was aware that I had had a nightmare, but it all felt so real it took me a minute or so to realize I was safe in my home.  Watching my neighbor leave for work which was the only activity on the street and the dogs never bark at that ...so weird.

I went back to bed but couldn't sleep...the nightmare just kept playing over and over in my head ...like I was surrounded by fear and I couldn't clear it. 

I put on a reiki video that always soothes me and then my phone dings...

I got a message from my friend in the UK ...due to the time difference he never expects to talk to me in what is to me the wee hours, but decided to see if I was up.  I told him I was in nightmare aftermath but he kept me talking.

While this was happening my new nursing team jumped up on the bed gently demanding scritches and cuddles so I got under the covers and obliged my canine and feline caregivers.  (Bossy!)

Slowly my breathing went back to normal and my heart stopped trying to escape my chest.  After an hour or so I was able to go back to sleep.

Just so strange...the dogs barking when they never bark and my friend messaging when he never messages just when I needed it.  

I don't know how ....I'm just grateful.