Ohhhhhhhh Lord..

In 1999 we were getting ready for a nice family Thanksgiving just the 4 of us.. me, BlackBerryBoy, 2 young adult kids (BlackBerryKids 2 and 3) BlackBerryKid1 was away in college...The potatoes were boiling merrily almost ready to drain and mash, the turkey was within 5 minutes of being removed from the oven, life was good.

I popped the dinner rolls into the oven to bake, shut the door and heard an ominous "click-thud" and the self cleaning turned on, immediately starting the temp towards 800 degrees.

I tried turning it off, tried opening the door but the latch had locked...

I grabbed everything off the top of the stove and put it on the table, (remember, the potatoes were boiling) I kept trying to get the oven door open and BBk2 asked, "should we call Uncle Goy to come down? " I said "why? so he can stick his penis in it?" BlackBerryBoy is NOT handy, and Uncle Guy did a lot of the "guy" stuff for us.

I got the top of the stove lifted up but still couldn't release the lock.

I told BBK2 "go get my cold chisel."  I took a good whack at it, the lock mechanism broke, and the stove lurched, spewing hot turkey grease all over the inside of the oven where it promptly caught fire. AND the glass window in the door cracked.

I grabbed a box of baking soda and threw it all over the oven, which put out the flames and covered the turkey and rolls with a cloud of baking soda. I got the turkey and rolls out of the oven, and tossed BBK2 a dishcloth and told her to wash off the turkey and dust off the rolls.


By now the potatoes had been soaking all this time in the water and when I spooned one up it disintegrated. I poured off as much liquid as I could and threw in a bunch of cream and butter and hoped for the best.

All this I did quietly, not letting BBBoy know that anything was wrong.. didn't want to spoil his dinner ya know..LOL

We all sat down to a very nice looking dinner, and at the end, BBBoy asked.."did you do something different to the rolls this year? They have a really great flavor..?" yeah hun, my new charcoal and baking soda rub....


I got a new stove the next day.