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When I grow up...


HerNameIsBuffy

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As a mental exercise I shook off the constraints of actual education, skill, experience...you know, reality...and asked myself what I REALLY want to do for a living:

  • SAHCryptozologist - I would look for apocryphal creatures, but within the confines of my house and the internet.  So Nessie shows up in my utility sink I'm on it.
  • forensic anthropologist (and work with Sue Black)
  • genius programmer
  • Technical writer - only if it paid really well and I never had to leave my house.  I want to be Monk's brother Ambrose.  But with a clean house...and I wasn't named after a turtle.
  • Dave Barry (1980s-90s era)
  • IT Ninja - swoop in when all the users are snug in their beds and fix all their issues in the black of night...communicating only through helpdesk tickets and sticky notes.  They wouldn't know my name, or what I looked like...but words of my great acts would spread until the occupation of minstrel was revived just to sing my praises.
  • Statistician/Analyst (for weird and interesting data sets)
  • criminal profiler for historical cases (no in person criminals for me, thanks)
  • QA Evangelist - maybe start by traveling the country side preaching the word of controlled documents, and then once I had a following preaching on some obscure cable channel about the healing power of FEMCA (failure effect mode criticality analysis) and the 10th circle of hell which is filled with 8D reports submitted by people who don't understand root cause.
  • Professional FJer - if I could hang out here for a living that would be awesome.  For me.  And whomever wins the forum pool of how long it takes people to start a petition to tell me to STFU.

Of the the above 5 aren't real jobs, two of which even if they were I don't have the skills.  Of the 5 real jobs I have the skills for exactly none of them.  

I need a time machine...I've got some life choices I need a do-over on.  Had I made different choices at certain critical moments I'd be a world renowned SAHC by now and your children's children would read about me in their history books.

Some advice for the kids out there...

Spoiler

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Grimalkin

Posted

SAHCryptolozologost looks like a good choice! 

I wonder if I could put Pokemon go on my résumé?

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catlady

Posted

I used to want to be a professional book-reader.....I never did figure out how or why anyone would pay me to read books of my choosing.

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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

1 hour ago, catlady said:

I used to want to be a professional book-reader.....I never did figure out how or why anyone would pay me to read books of my choosing.

Me too!  that's going on my list!

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  • Posts

    • Beermeet

      Posted (edited)

      On 1/20/2022 at 12:22 PM, GreyhoundFan said:

      Here ya go:

       

      The pecan thieves with their ill-gotten gain:

      image.png.fb594ae467623ea7235f0579984a275e.png

      That pecan thread is a pretty good read!  I especially liked @Buzzard comment:

      https://www.freejinger.org/topic/12625-david-and-priscilla-updates/?do=findComment&comment=433351

      Edited by Beermeet
    • Dominionatrix

      Posted

      @LittleMy @Expectopatronus when I saw the comment about it being a big bag of pecans I thought “Oh, the baby must be here!”

    • darkplumaged

      Posted

      6 hours ago, Karma said:

      When I saw the photo of David’s parents with the children, for a moment I thought David and Priscilla had suddenly aged 30 years. They look like an older version of D and P.  

      Well, I've never in my life seen a couple who look more like one another than Pecan and Pris, so this makes sense...

      • Upvote 1
    • Beermeet

      Posted

      6 hours ago, neuroticcat said:

      Yes! I’ve been following her since the trial, and it’s so insightful. Lots of confirmation of what we discuss here but interesting insider POV. 

      It's really creepier than I imagined.  I mean, all I can do is imagine.  This is really making me understand more. Especially her thoughts on Anna. Her description of what she went through is straight up hell on Earth,  she had to tone down the violence in her book as it was too much for the general public, she said.  She made it out though.  

       

      • Upvote 1
    • EmCatlyn

      Posted

      10 hours ago, AprilQuilt said:

      totally. And it's ironic because translating the Bible into English was done specifically to sidestep this mystification, to give the common (literate) person the means of accessing and understanding the holy text themselves. But nowadays the insistence on KJV only is DEFINITELY a way of obfuscating, and shutting out people who don't have big vocabularies or sophisticated reading habits from comprehending and questioning.

      I say all this, I think the KJV Bible has many beautiful and evocative passages. My work at the moment is to do with 1400s England and it's really bringing home how much the KJV defines the Bible for me, so to work in a period where they don't have that same cultural touchstone on a word level is really interesting. We do however have the Wycliffe/Wycliffite Bible which predates the KJV by over 200 years - at its time when the translation was regarded as heretical. It was associated with Lollardy/class rebellion (especially bc law was so rooted in the Bible, that if a man could read the Bible for himself he could start to understand the law of the land too, and perhaps weaponise it) but actually most of the ruling classes owned it, read it, and appreciated it. I've started doing side-by-side readings of KJV and Wycliffe's Bible and in fact many of the phrases and concepts we know from KJV also feature in Wycliffe's, and KJV owes it a huge debt... although of course Wycliffe's Bible was condemned by the church, and the KJV somehow ordained by God?

      Well, the Wycliffe Bible, as you know, was condemned by the Roman Catholic Church, while the King James Bible was commissioned by the head of the Church of England after the Reformation.  The Roman Catholics almost certainly condemned the KJV (if not specifically, then generically).

      If any fundie happens to have heard of the Wycliffe Bible, I daresay they figure the Wycliffe Bible, though not divinely inspired like the KJV, was nevertheless a Good Thing since the RCs condemned it. 😉

      My impression, however, is that most fundies in the US think that the KJV is the “first English translation.”  That is nonsense, of course.   It overlooks the Coverdale Bible and the  Matthews-Tyndale and finally the so-called “Great Bible.”  All of these came before. 

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