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Buffy's Commentary

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When I grow up...

HerNameIsBuffy

1,505 views

As a mental exercise I shook off the constraints of actual education, skill, experience...you know, reality...and asked myself what I REALLY want to do for a living:

  • SAHCryptozologist - I would look for apocryphal creatures, but within the confines of my house and the internet.  So Nessie shows up in my utility sink I'm on it.
  • forensic anthropologist (and work with Sue Black)
  • genius programmer
  • Technical writer - only if it paid really well and I never had to leave my house.  I want to be Monk's brother Ambrose.  But with a clean house...and I wasn't named after a turtle.
  • Dave Barry (1980s-90s era)
  • IT Ninja - swoop in when all the users are snug in their beds and fix all their issues in the black of night...communicating only through helpdesk tickets and sticky notes.  They wouldn't know my name, or what I looked like...but words of my great acts would spread until the occupation of minstrel was revived just to sing my praises.
  • Statistician/Analyst (for weird and interesting data sets)
  • criminal profiler for historical cases (no in person criminals for me, thanks)
  • QA Evangelist - maybe start by traveling the country side preaching the word of controlled documents, and then once I had a following preaching on some obscure cable channel about the healing power of FEMCA (failure effect mode criticality analysis) and the 10th circle of hell which is filled with 8D reports submitted by people who don't understand root cause.
  • Professional FJer - if I could hang out here for a living that would be awesome.  For me.  And whomever wins the forum pool of how long it takes people to start a petition to tell me to STFU.

Of the the above 5 aren't real jobs, two of which even if they were I don't have the skills.  Of the 5 real jobs I have the skills for exactly none of them.  

I need a time machine...I've got some life choices I need a do-over on.  Had I made different choices at certain critical moments I'd be a world renowned SAHC by now and your children's children would read about me in their history books.

Some advice for the kids out there...

Spoiler

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  • Upvote 5


3 Comments


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Grimalkin

Posted

SAHCryptolozologost looks like a good choice! 

I wonder if I could put Pokemon go on my résumé?

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catlady

Posted

I used to want to be a professional book-reader.....I never did figure out how or why anyone would pay me to read books of my choosing.

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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

1 hour ago, catlady said:

I used to want to be a professional book-reader.....I never did figure out how or why anyone would pay me to read books of my choosing.

Me too!  that's going on my list!

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      On 11/25/2020 at 5:52 PM, Vivi_music said:

      Not a bad name in itself. I think it's very pretty.

      For me the name evokes this song:

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      Beautiful and sad tale of the deportation of the Acadiens, and the history of French-Canadian people across the North American continent. Which I know, ironically  was written by Longfellow (not an Acadian author), but now an athem and symbol of the Grand dérangement.

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      15 minutes ago, FilleMondaine said:

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      • I Agree 2
    • FilleMondaine

      Posted

      3 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

      Honestly why bother with the fake berries? Why not just put up child friendly decorations or no decorations? She chose to have kids and she won't always have little kids. I hope Shiloh is okay and I don't care about her damn Christmas aesthetics. 

      I think--honestly--that if she just used her cricut to make bunches of paper strips and then make paper chains...it would look beautiful in her house, and way more safe for the toddler.

      • Upvote 1
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