As a mental exercise I shook off the constraints of actual education, skill, experience...you know, reality...and asked myself what I REALLY want to do for a living:
- SAHCryptozologist - I would look for apocryphal creatures, but within the confines of my house and the internet. So Nessie shows up in my utility sink I'm on it.
- forensic anthropologist (and work with Sue Black)
- genius programmer
- Technical writer - only if it paid really well and I never had to leave my house. I want to be Monk's brother Ambrose. But with a clean house...and I wasn't named after a turtle.
- Dave Barry (1980s-90s era)
- IT Ninja - swoop in when all the users are snug in their beds and fix all their issues in the black of night...communicating only through helpdesk tickets and sticky notes. They wouldn't know my name, or what I looked like...but words of my great acts would spread until the occupation of minstrel was revived just to sing my praises.
- Statistician/Analyst (for weird and interesting data sets)
- criminal profiler for historical cases (no in person criminals for me, thanks)
- QA Evangelist - maybe start by traveling the country side preaching the word of controlled documents, and then once I had a following preaching on some obscure cable channel about the healing power of FEMCA (failure effect mode criticality analysis) and the 10th circle of hell which is filled with 8D reports submitted by people who don't understand root cause.
- Professional FJer - if I could hang out here for a living that would be awesome. For me. And whomever wins the forum pool of how long it takes people to start a petition to tell me to STFU.
Of the the above 5 aren't real jobs, two of which even if they were I don't have the skills. Of the 5 real jobs I have the skills for exactly none of them.
I need a time machine...I've got some life choices I need a do-over on. Had I made different choices at certain critical moments I'd be a world renowned SAHC by now and your children's children would read about me in their history books.
Some advice for the kids out there...