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Buffy's Commentary

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Guess what I'm up to?!

HerNameIsBuffy

6,800 views

A little exposition for those of you unfamiliar with the joys of conducting or being the subject of an internal audit...

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Internal auditors ...we're the good guys.  Like your mom, we just want what's best for you.

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Properly conducted audits benefit everyone in the organization...

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Unfortunately not everyone being audited sees it that way...some are angry....

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Some try to charm us...

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Some try to challenge us with their defiance...

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some try to fool us...

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But few realize that we're on their side...

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Even though QC creates policies...

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as well as enforcing it...

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It can be a thankless job asking the tough questions...

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And takes more than a little integrity and fortitude to hold strong even when the people who outrank you are...less than fully compliant...

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And being impartial can be socially awkward...there are no friends in auditing.  If I didn't give birth to you, marry you, or share DNA with you you're just an auditee when I'm holding a clipboard...

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I remain calm and professional when things are amiss...

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But I'm still human inside...

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Good internal auditors are born and not made.  Sure, everyone needs training in specific procedures but you recruit for your audit team for that which you cannot teach.  Ridiculously high level of attention to detail, ability to communicate clearly, the inherent mindset that you're helping by pointing out issues/errors/opportunities for improvement, while maintaining a good working relationship with the people you're auditing so you can help them correct and avoid adversarial bottlenecks.

Were it in my power I'd throw millions of dollars and a teleportation device to @OnceUponATime to join my audit team.  I see so much of myself in her while in troubleshooting mode that it would be next best thing to cloning me.

Better actually because a clone of me would be more of ....me...and I'd want to kill me within minutes for being so annoying.  

Weird question for those of you who understand the human psyche...why is it fairly effortless for me to maintain genuinely good rapport with people to whom I've delivered extremely  fair but devastating critiques of their performance resulting in serious ramifications...but the mingling during the company holiday party or cookout leaves me so lost and nervous that I always find a legit reason to have to get back to my desk before I become so uncomfortable I burst into flames.  

I'm introverted by nature, but have zero anxiety talking about work - public speaking to large groups whether giving good news or bad, presentations or directives...no problem whatsoever.  Those minutes before a meeting or during a working lunch where people talk about movies, sports, weather...it's like I'm a different person and I have to prepare small talk topics and then spend time later second guessing everything I said after the fact to assure myself I came off like a normal person.

It's a weird Jekyl/Hyde  Bruce Banner/Hulk thing except instead of good/evil it's self confident/President of the Dorks of America.  Is there a name for this?

(I have had other weirdness that I thought was just me that I later found out had names - like misophonia and sensory integration issues...so I'm on a quest to name all my quirks. Like pets.  Wow - I am a dork.)

  • Upvote 7


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OnceUponATime

Posted

I'm not going to lie. I thought you tagged me so I would laugh at your kitten pun. :)

But for that amount of money I'd be completely willing to relocate and work for you :P Hell you could even forgo the teleportation device as long as you deal with the bureaucratic problems of getting me a green card.

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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

Just now, OnceUponATime said:

I'm not going to lie. I thought you tagged me so I would laugh at your kitten pun. :)

But for that amount of money I'd be completely willing to relocate and work for you :P Hell you could even forgo the teleportation device as long as you deal with the bureaucratic problems of getting me a green card.

LOL I didn't even think about you for the kitten thing - but she kinda looks like Luna.  Who I just tagged (@ Luna) until I realized our FJ Luna isn't @Destiny's kitten.

Who would also be a great auditor.  All cats would be - they evaluate and pass judgement and issue rewards and corrective actions.  It's getting them to audit based on policy rather than their kitty whims that's the problem.  

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CTRLZero

Posted

Great post, and it explains so much.  My sister is an auditor, and she mysteriously disappears from our lives on a quarterly basis (we say she's "gone CIA" - Certified Internal Auditor).  And now she will have to kill me...

 

 

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  • Posts

    • 3 hours ago, thoughtful said:

      How much longer will we will we?  Get out of in front of the TV.

        Hide contents

      image.png.ba189f7a3019ba61901cb549caa17354.png

       

      "Ok folks was wondering how much longer will we the people will let this keep going on?" What, Gary?  The virus?  Wearing masks?  It doesn't seem as if getting rid of the virus is up to "we the people" unless people start acting like they have some sense and try to stop spreading it.

      It almost sounds as if he thinks he can inflame people and get them to join him in pretending the virus isn't real.  It's exactly the type of revolution that Gary wants -- fake, right wing, and with little actual effort involved.

      Now I've got a song from "Hamilton" stuck in my head.  "Rise up!  When are these sad fundies gonna rise up?" (Yeah.  I'm aware it doesn't exactly scan but that's the closest I can manage.)

      • Upvote 1
    • HerNameIsBuffy

      Posted

      1 minute ago, Howl said:

      Perhaps the Catholic background means they don't have the  Evangeligelical anti-science bias. 

      That's my guess.  

    • Howl

      Posted

      Perhaps the Catholic background means they don't have the  Evangeligelical anti-science bias. 

      • Upvote 2
    • Audrey2

      Posted

      11 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

      Cathy's homeschooling was excellent.  She had them all tested yearly to make sure at grade level and John was in some elite math competitions in his high school years.

      They went to the science museum on one of the videos and various conversations have shown they weren't shorted in this in their schooling.  

      I'm so glad to hear that. I stand corrected.

      • Upvote 1
    • 3 hours ago, luv2laugh said:

      Guys, Braggie Abbie posted this and it is very sad. If she possesses the self-awareness that she is unable to mother all of her children, she should use the brain God has given her to use NFP and make a sensible decision.

      Also, Braggie Abbie has a social media addiction. She probably gets a hit of dopamine every time someone "likes" her pictures or posts. She has lacks self-control.

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      Im sure he is used to not having his mom’s undivided attention. And, I seriously doubt Abbie is ever his first choice for “up.”  (Looks like his brother was occupied doing “mans work” with the beef.) 



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