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In a fairytale world

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'Cause these are the rules for us


OnceUponATime

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Oh the fun you shall have!

Congratulations!
Today is your day!
You’re now on Free Jinger,
You’re off and away!

You have brains in your head.
To articulate well thought out views.
You can steer yourself in
any direction you choose.
To the Pray Closet, banned, or Journey to the Heart
It’s your fault really, if you are not very smart

The rules are quite simple, so read them with care.
Make sure you don’t break them, to stay welcome here.
Read them and learn them, make sure to adhere
And ask clarification if you think they’re unclear.

FJ is forever
Make sure you take note
No deletion for you
If you end up a turncoat

If you’re a lightweight
FJ may not be your soulmate

A username is constant,
Don’t make a sock
Or else someone will have to
hit IP block

An avatar you are free to have
But not one that moves,
NSFW or spews hate
Those are removed

OH!
THE FUN YOU SHALL HAVE!
[AND THE SHIT YOU WILL SEE!]
 

You’ll be posting so soon!
If you want to take a rest
Deactivation is possible
If that suits you best

If you’re 18 we love you, or older that too
just ensure you’re that or older to continue.
On the FJ forum, you may use words of curse
No doubt someone out there has heard much, much worse

Except if you haven’t
But that sure takes snowflake talent

Threatening people
Is dicky to do
Don’t be a dick,
that’s completely sick
Or you’ll get banned too


People at work
log on here as well
So note your NSFW links
if you’re not without moral


If you start losing your moral
Please do think twice first
Before disrupting the forum
Like an attack of the cursed

It doesn’t matter if you’re cursed
Take care not to write
Fan fiction of all sorts
Til deep in the night

Hate speech is hate speech, we will not argue there
If you don’t understand it, then make sure you’re aware
There are links and resources on the forum as well!
We’ve made it quite easy to avoid your farewell
Will you take it or leave it? I guess time will tell!

If you write in a thread, please keep it in English
So it’s easy for us to establish
If you’re being a good rule keeper
And not just a weird creeper
So we don’t need to be a jail keeper

You can get really annoying
If you forget to delete
Your Tapa signature, that is always on repeat
Or any other signature that you wish to secrete
You’ll end up with warnings that aren’t meant as a treat,
so NOT a treat…

…because you must show respect
For the powers that be
And other readers that be
and the guests that may be
and the rules that rule
Without being all cruel
Please don’t be a fool
Everyone wants respect.

YES!
Respect for you too!

The internet is forever
FJ is that too
If you later have post regrets
You’ll cry and cry, oh, boo hoo

Helpmeets shall organize
renaming, tagging, moving,
Merging things, it’s all constantly improving
without a single hint of you all disapproving!

Oh, there is fun to be had, there’s lots here to read
Just follow the rules, which is all we do plead!
Speculating on minors’ sexuality
puts you definitely in, a place of marginality
Under minors we will also understand
Adults living under their parent’s hand

Keep it in mind
And we’ll have no need to remind!

Speculation busses depart from here
But not with unidentified victims named,
No, oh no,
That shall not be proclaimed

Not Proclaimed!
Whether you like it or not,
Victims are victims
Not some big story plot.

Privacy of others is theirs to protect
Information from public sources- that you may collect
If you are already friends with them and logged in
Then paraphrase well or it’ll go bye-bye in the bin

But post as you will
Within the boundaries defined
Post as you will
But “text speak” is not good for the mind
Post as you will
but try to not be BEC unkind
Post as much as you want
but no one-word replies,
Though your fingers may get tired
it’ll save you from demise

On and on you can type
and follow our rules
let us discuss things as adults
and not as damn fools.

You may post gifs, yeah sure,
in a spoiler you know
If you forget way to often
Into the prayer closet you’ll go
Don’t tell us to ban you
That’s annoying as fuck
If your opinion is different
We won’t be awestruck
Just remember to write posts clear and precise
And you too can find a place in this paradise.

And will you write posts?
Yes! You are there almost!
(All you need to do is follow the signpost)

FJ, IS AWAITING YOU!

So…
St Alan Rickman (RIP) is our FJ patron saint
And with the intelligence of St Rachel Maddow we do acquaint
You’re now on Free Jinger!
Today is your day!
FJ is ready for you
So… join in the fray!

 

Disclaimer: This will never replace the beautifully legally worded ToU. If you haven't read through that yet, you should probably deactivate your account until you have done so. Nor was it meant to replace the Rules...

  • Upvote 14

34 Comments


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Destiny

Posted

THIS will never ever ever stop being awesome. You FTW madam.

  • Upvote 4
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OnceUponATime

Posted

9 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

We're not worthy!

One word (except it's not - I'm a rule follower, mostly):

WIDGET!

Then you can become more worthy

  • Upvote 3
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Palimpsest

Posted (edited)

Excellent work!  :worship::worship::worship:

Now can someone explain the widget joke, please?

Edited by Palimpsest
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OnceUponATime

Posted

9 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

Now can someone explain the widget joke, please?

I have requested a personalized one. I am a sad sad person because I haven't seen it yet. :cry:

  • Upvote 3
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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

1 hour ago, OnceUponATime said:

One word (except it's not - I'm a rule follower, mostly):

WIDGET!

Then you can become more worthy

Here's how I see it.  If a beach sometimes has warning signs about not entering the water due to sharks, hazardous waste, or giant squids and their 3' long penises I would be wary of entering even when there were no signs.  Because you never know if it's the moment of transition between safety and danger and they just haven't put up the signs yet.

So while I love the idea, a widget warning of fuckery could give a false sense of security ...when people should know they should always be aware of the dangers of the scarier parts of FJ and just assume there are three foot squid penises behind every corner.

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samurai_sarah

Posted

Grilled squid is yummy. That's all I've got.

  • Upvote 4
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OnceUponATime

Posted

You're looking at it wrongly @HerNameIsBuffy

Let's put it this way. If I was at a beach and there were no lifeguards I wouldn't go near the water. Nope, no way - what would i do if i got in over my head? If there was only 1 lifeguard I'd probably, depending on my mood, wait until a few more showed up. If all lifeguards were on duty I'd happily frolick in the sea, knowing that even if a giant squid poked out my eye at least some hot guy would probably come to my rescue.

 

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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

2 minutes ago, OnceUponATime said:

You're looking at it wrongly @HerNameIsBuffy

Let's put it this way. If I was at a beach and there were no lifeguards I wouldn't go near the water. Nope, no way - what would i do if i got in over my head? If there was only 1 lifeguard I'd probably, depending on my mood, wait until a few more showed up. If all lifeguards were on duty I'd happily frolick in the sea, knowing that even if a giant squid poked out my eye at least some hot guy would probably come to my rescue.

 

No hot guy is going to want to touch you once you've had a giant squid penis in your eye.

Unless he's into that...rule #34

you clearly have more faith in people and safety systems than I do - which means you're probably a happier and more relaxed person, but I'll still be around to rule the world once all of you trusting people have succumbed to the dangers of life.

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OnceUponATime

Posted

3 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

you clearly have more faith in people and safety systems than I do -

I'm not sure I have more faith, I'm just a firm believer that accurate knowledge helps me suppress irrational fears about giant squid penises trying to take out my eye. I can't believe I just felt the need to write that.

Having a working fuel gauge makes me a happy person. Having a malfunctioning one not so much. I'm well aware that said gauge could malfunction at anytime or that someone could shoot a hole in the tank and goodbye fuel, yet I still can find some comfort in knowing there is a reasonable possibility that I won't run out of fuel in the middle of nowhere with no cellphone reception.

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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

19 minutes ago, OnceUponATime said:

I'm not sure I have more faith, I'm just a firm believer that accurate knowledge helps me suppress irrational fears about giant squid penises trying to take out my eye. I can't believe I just felt the need to write that.

Having a working fuel gauge makes me a happy person. Having a malfunctioning one not so much. I'm well aware that said gauge could malfunction at anytime or that someone could shoot a hole in the tank and goodbye fuel, yet I still can find some comfort in knowing there is a reasonable possibility that I won't run out of fuel in the middle of nowhere with no cellphone reception.

I'm sorry, I have no time for your logic based arguments.  I'm on vacation and left logic at the office.  Also I'm very busy because I need to go post a lifehack that will benefit humanity ...at the least the part of humanity who eats scrambled eggs.

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church_of_dog

Posted

Boy, that whole thing about squid penises sure made... a lasting impression... on some of y'all... :my_tongue:

  • Upvote 5
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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

I believe I was the one who brought awareness of squid penises to FJ originally.

if just one person adopts my irrational fears I've done my job.

  • Upvote 4
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OnceUponATime

Posted

15 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I'm sorry, I have no time for your logic based arguments.  I'm on vacation and left logic at the office.  Also I'm very busy because I need to go post a lifehack that will benefit humanity ...at the least the part of humanity who eats scrambled eggs.

Let me put this through the Buffy->UOaT translator

I'm sorry, I have no time for your logic based arguments.  You are very correct and will win this if we continue along this path. I'm on vacation and left logic at the office. I need an excuse to avoid that because I HATE widgets.  Also I'm very busy because I need to go post Please go read my blog and forget about that widget.

I haven't forgotten yet even though my memory is a sieve, but I'll bring this up at a later date...

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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

2 minutes ago, OnceUponATime said:

Let me put this through the Buffy->UOaT translator

I'm sorry, I have no time for your logic based arguments.  You are very correct and will win this if we continue along this path. I'm on vacation and left logic at the office. I need an excuse to avoid that because I HATE widgets.  Also I'm very busy because I need to go post Please go read my blog and forget about that widget.

I haven't forgotten yet even though my memory is a sieve, but I'll bring this up at a later date...

Close :). I dont hate widgets though, they have their uses I just tend to be a minimalist.  I'm not in some anti widget advocacy group, though.

 

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OnceUponATime

Posted

Just now, HerNameIsBuffy said:

 I'm not in some anti widget advocacy group, though.

Excellent. There is still some hope!

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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

6 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

Excellent work!  :worship::worship::worship:

Now can someone explain the widget joke, please?

I just realized I don't think we answered your question.

She had the genius idea for a widget that would give you a status warning about whether it was safe to enter Duggarland based on how many of your downvotes you have remaining.  

Which I love because not only hilarious but a tongue in cheek indicator that it can be like the Wild West of FJ and the uninitiated would be aware they are entering a different climate.  

(For others reading there are a lot of awesome members who most in the Duggar forums - heck, I've even been known to do it.  On purpose!  Just poking a little fun at a part of the site which has been, in the past, somewhat of our problem child.)

and I love problem children.  I never had one, but I was one. :) 

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Palimpsest

Posted

If @OnceUponATime gets that widget then what do I have to do to get one too?  Send you Hello Kitty stuff and pink floral tributes?

Spoiler

Please, don't say I have to volunteer to be a Helpmeet - runs away screaming!

:animals-dogrun:

Just kidding.:kitty-wink:

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OnceUponATime

Posted

4 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I just realized I don't think we answered your question.

Someone may have... but in a slightly more private way.

5 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

genius idea

I'm glad you recognize it for what it truly is.

 

@Palimpsest Last time someone had a similar reaction to ever being a helpmeet it took 79 days. #FJhistory

 

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Palimpsest

Posted

24 minutes ago, OnceUponATime said:

Last time someone had a similar reaction to ever being a helpmeet it took 79 days. #FJhistory

No, no, no!  It will never happen to me.  I have a deal with @Curious (I hope she remembers).  She will never ask and if I'm ever foolish enough to volunteer to be a Helpmeet - she'll turn me down flat.  I'll volunteer to do a lot for FJ but not that.  I lack the intestinal fortitude. :)

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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

20 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

If @OnceUponATime gets that widget then what do I have to do to get one too?  Send you Hello Kitty stuff and pink floral tributes?

  Reveal hidden contents

Just kidding.:kitty-wink:

If it becomes possible it would be for the site everyone...but whether that ever comes to pass is above my pay grade.  @Destiny rules over the land of all things webbased like a boss.

I sit on a throne of a different realm...the kingdom of the corporate network.  While I wield power in my own world I'm happy to just be allowed to assist her royal genius in this one.

customizations are less complicated for me since I am draconian by nature and necessity and tightly control all platforms and devices I survey.  If her royal genius and our lord and empress @Curious didn't insist on tying my hands and refusing my request to limit FJ to those to whom I've issued electronic devices with limited permissions and software versions controlled by me I'd be happy to widget it up.  Apparently accessibility to everyone is more important to them than my need to win Miss Control Freak 2016.

they are generous and benevolent rulers.  I'm just grateful for every day that passes without my being beheaded.  

 

 

2 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

No, no, no!  It will never happen to me.  I have a deal with @Curious (I hope she remembers).  She will never ask and if I'm ever foolish enough to volunteer to be a Helpmeet - she'll turn me down flat.  I'll volunteer to do a lot for FJ but not that.  I lack the intestinal fortitude. :)

Is that what the deal is?  I knew there was something because everytime I'd badger her to harangue you into HM status she said she tried but cannot because of a sworn oath.  Something about you can lead a wise and judicious member of the peerage to the royal  court, but you can't make them write proclamations and charge subjects with treason.

Possibly not a verbatim quote.  I kind of like it here in my fairy tale metaphor and haven't found my way out yet.  But now I'm picturing all of you wearing hennins and leaning out of turret windows....which is amusing me to no end.

 

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Palimpsest

Posted (edited)

1 hour ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Is that what the deal is?

Yep.  Except I don't think she ever asked.  I was afraid she was going to ask me once and headed her off at the pass.

Eh, I really like my present lowly position as one of the polloi.  A PITA with too many bright ideas that won't work in practice.  :lol:

Edited by Palimpsest
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Palimpsest

Posted (edited)

I think I'm going to get majorly offended and go off and sulk in a corner.  I may even flounce!

 @Destiny and @HerNameIsBuffy  upvoted me for describing myself as a PITA! :laughing-rollingyellow:

 

Edited by Palimpsest
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Destiny

Posted

4 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

I think I'm going to get majorly offended and go of and sulk in a corner.  I may even flounce!

 @Destiny and @HerNameIsBuffy  upvoted me for describing myself as a PITA! :laughing-rollingyellow:

 

LOL! I was upvoting the cutting her off at the pass, because, in the space of seconds, I built an elaborate scene in my head of @Curious starting to open her mouth, and you going, "Shhhhh, no, no", and silencing her til she got tired of asking and then you guys coming to this pact. Who cares about how reality went, it's hilarious in my head!

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