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Hanging On By My Teeth

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Catching my breath


beckerbuns

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A year ago, my life was about to change, though I didn't know it.  I had one of three kids at home living with me, as well as the housemate-who-wouldn't-leave who, between drinking binges, helped around the house and caused problems.  Within 60 days I would be scrambling to find a new place to live and fighting for more time in an eviction that was simultaneously a relief and scary.

What have I learned in the past year?  I have learned that I am much stronger than I know.  I have learned that I cannot depend on my mom to save me.  (This has been both disheartening and liberating -- it depends on the day.)  I have learned that I really, really miss having my kids living with me.  I have learned that I can live with far less stuff than I thought I could.  (I have gone from a two bedroom, one bath house with lots of storage to one bedroom in a large house.)  I have learned that I have some amazing friends who have stuck by me through thick and thin, and been supportive no matter what (while also not being afraid to tell me when I'm a screwup).  I have learned how to communicate more effectively with the man in my life.  And finally, I have learned that I am capable of far more than I ever thought possible.

My life is not perfect now -- far from it -- but I have some great days mixed in among the mundane.  There has been lots of pain, but there has also been a great deal of laughter, love, and understanding.  Would I change what I've gone through in the past year?  Sure.  Am I better person for it?  Most likely.

Thanks for joining me on this journey.

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MarblesMom

Posted

It's those really rough spots that make you appreciate even the mundane, every day life.  I am glad you are having some great days in there  :)

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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

During times like that a positive outlook like yours can do more to keep you moving forward than almost anything else.  I hope things remain on the upswing for you.

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beckerbuns

Posted

During times like that a positive outlook like yours can do more to keep you moving forward than almost anything else.  I hope things remain on the upswing for you.

I think I am an optimist to a fault.  In a way it's good but in a way it can get me into trouble because I see the best things in people who maybe aren't up to anything good, if that makes sense?

It's those really rough spots that make you appreciate even the mundane, every day life.  I am glad you are having some great days in there  :)

You are right.  After all I've been through since the beginning of 2014, even just a quiet day at home with nothing going on can make me appreciate life.

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