Jump to content

Buffy's Commentary

  • entries
    274
  • comments
    1,399
  • views
    45,232

So when I get hit by that bus...


HerNameIsBuffy

757 views

My youngest man-child is a legal adult, yet not old enough to fully appreciate how awesome I am so i would like a favor in case I get hit by the proverbial bus* before he has an epiphany of how very lucky he was to have me for a mom.

*such a stupid euphemism...like I'm busy dodging busses.  I rarely even see them.

Someone form a committee to send him annoyingly frequent messages reminding him I learned to cook tofu for him.  No one else here eats it but yet here I am after finding yet another recipe that will make the cut as his picky eating is rivaled only by my own...because I support him no matter how inconvenient he decides to be and as long as I'm around I'm going to make sure he eats something besides those godawful veggie burgers that leave a weird smell in my kitchen for a good 20 minutes.

And I've never complained about that...and I didn't make pouty faces about how he was hiding his perfect face behind the scruff of facial hair that made him look like a cross between a random bearded white guy on a 70's album cover and white Jesus.

Okay he was still a ridiculously goodlooking white Jesus...but I didn't make him so pretty so he could go around impersonating Eric Clapton circa 1974. Who also bore a striking resemblance to a good looking white Jesus.

Dont hide the handsome...but did I complain?  No. His face, his choice...besides nothing makes him as happy as annoying me so if I whined about it he'd never have shaved it. :) 

I would never post his pic without his consent and since that will never happen here's Eric Clapton.  Who, ftr, is not my son. 

image.jpeg

Also, he's still alive even though he STILL complains all the time about some imaginary problem where he thinks his orthodontist didn't line up his canine tooth on one side just right.  This is one of those magical imperfections no one can see but him.  

If he has nothing to bitch about he will invent something;  Im considering imposing a fine so he's got to pay me every time he wants to talk about how the orthodontist was a hack and should have spent a little less time playing golf and a little more time not ruining his life.

if I charge him $1 a complaint I can at least recoup the almost $9k those straight teeth set me back by next Tuesday.

so tldr:  if I get hit by a bus bombard my youngest with messages reminding him:

- I'm a saint for the tofu thing.

- I allowed him to make his own choices even when it meant looking like like he fell through a time portal.

- My remarkable restraint in listening to his fictional complaints is unparalleled in the mortal realm.  Also see his demands to see a dermatologist in high school for 'acne' you could only see when he pointed it out under bright lighting when the moon was full.

And I wouldn't change one thing about the adorable little pain in the ass...although it's been pointed out to me on many an occasion that I probably wouldn't find this stuff so charming if he didn't get all this stuff from me.  Ahhhh...overt and unapologetic whining and entitlement is a lost art and I've done my duty to make sure it's going to passed on to the next generation.

You're welcome.  And to his future wife...I'm sorry I never taught him how to clean.  Or cook.  Or allow himself an unexpressed thought.  Or walk up the stairs without soundimg like Bruce Banner when he's angry.

 

 

 

  • Upvote 7

2 Comments


Recommended Comments

HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

No overt rejoicing or it will come back and never leave.  You know his favorite hobby is getting me riled up...I think he's petitioning the Olympic committee to make it one of the official games...summer and winter but making me roll my eyes can be done in all seasons! 

I did guilt him into a pic, which he was totally eye rolling about but he humored me.  Although he thought my asking for a smile was a bit much.  If you ever wonder if you can be sarcastic without saying a word let me assure you that you can with the right forced smile.

 

Oh, weird aside ...I've noticed since he was little when you look at him in person he really resembles his dad.  He's got my nose (the male version) and a little me around the mouth - that's it, though.  But in pictures, he looks a lot more like me than irl.   Idk how that works.  And it's not just the fuck you look on his face because hates pics...although that's definitely from me, too.  

  • Upvote 3
Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Posts

    • Xan

      Posted

      10 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

      Gary says he doubts Trump is saved (he just thinks it's a shame that a man who "done America so good" is going to Hell), and I suspect he doesn't like Falwell. So, in this, he is, in his shitty obnoxious way, pretty consistent.

      Good question. I guess the fact that someone came up with it and wrote it out, but it is not KJV, makes it bad.

      As you say, he does insist that what you say when you get saved, just like when you pray, has to be from the heart. You know, just like the totally predictable things that Gary repeats over and over are OK, and Biblical, because he claims he says them from the heart and he got them from Jesus.

      It's Garylogic.

      My opinion is that he doesn't like the sinner's prayer because it omits one important part -- Gary.  How can you lead people to salvation if they've found the way on their own?  He's not going to get points for that.  And he needs lots of points to end up eating Chah-nese with John the Baptist.

      I honestly don't know how you listen to so much of Gary.  He's such a pissy, useless human that I mostly feel like reaching through the screen and slapping his face.  Then again, he still reminds me of my late father-in-law -- a church-going, bigoted, hateful waste of perfectly good oxygen.

    • thoughtful

      Posted

      55 minutes ago, Black Aliss said:

      Interesting, because Jerry Fallwell, Jr. tells us that Trump is saved because he knelt down in Falwell's office and repeated the sinner's prayer.  So, Gary, if that prayer isn't good enough, then your president isn't saved.

      Gary says he doubts Trump is saved (he just thinks it's a shame that a man who "done America so good" is going to Hell), and I suspect he doesn't like Falwell. So, in this, he is, in his shitty obnoxious way, pretty consistent.

      11 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

      What is his problem anyway? I thought praying in your own words is totally ok and encouraged so why would it matter if a prayer is from KJB or not. 

      Good question. I guess the fact that someone came up with it and wrote it out, but it is not KJV, makes it bad.

      As you say, he does insist that what you say when you get saved, just like when you pray, has to be from the heart. You know, just like the totally predictable things that Gary repeats over and over are OK, and Biblical, because he claims he says them from the heart and he got them from Jesus.

      It's Garylogic.

      • Upvote 2
    • AmazonGrace

      Posted

      What is his problem anyway? I thought praying in your own words is totally ok and encouraged so why would it matter if a prayer is from KJB or not. 

      • Upvote 3
    • On 6/11/2021 at 2:09 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

      Thanks for the reminder. I had forgotten about Jake Eakin. He loves to call abortion murder. And he’s actually been convicted of murder. It’s insane. 

      Likewise, a lot of these people oppose “Sharia Law” yet support installing a Christian theocracy in the United States.

      • Upvote 3
    • nelliebelle1197

      Posted

      On 6/15/2021 at 4:02 PM, usmcmom said:

      My sister has boys and she has felt somewhat left out on the births of her grandkids. It made me more aware of my son-in-law’s needs when my grandson was born. At least, I hope it did. 
      We tried to keep a low profile when baby’s paternal grandparents were here the first week after his birth. I spent most nights at the house after they had gone back to the hotel; but we wanted to make sure they had lots of time without having to “share” the baby. 
      I am grateful all of us grandparents get along.  There was one evening where we all got stuck at the new parents’ house overnight. A storm had knocked a tree down, blocking the only exit from the neighborhood. None of us got to leave! It will be a fun memory to share with our grandson one day. 

      I actually had someone who kept trying to make villains out of my son-in-law and his parents leading up to the birth. She said things like “Those other grandparents should give you all some space.”  I finally said “Look, if it were my son instead of my daughter, I’d be crushed if someone took that attitude about me.” 
       

      Allison doesn’t have to worry about her mother overstepping; her mother hasn’t even shown up. 

      I am thanking you for this because what a lovely attitude to have!!!

      • Upvote 4


×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.