3 hours ago, Yes, TOTALLY said:

I have crohn's disease, so when I need to go, I need to GO. If every other stall is full, you best believe I'll be hustling into the disabled one. A lot of people have mentioned judging apparently able-bodied people who come out of disabled toilet stalls in this thread, but just bear in mind some of them may not be as able-bodied as you think! I can get a disability benefit and a disabled car parking permit (I don't, but I could) and I look as fit and able-bodied as any other 24 year old.

As a side note, I find it so interesting that in the US it is okay to say 'handicapped' whereas in NZ (where I live) it's on par with 'retard' or 'darkie' as far as offensiveness goes. Here we use 'people with disabilities', 'disabled people' or 'differently abled people'.

I did note that as did several others. And I think the accessibility issue applies to you as much to anyone else.

3 hours ago, Yes, TOTALLY said:

I have crohn's disease, so when I need to go, I need to GO. If every other stall is full, you best believe I'll be hustling into the disabled one. A lot of people have mentioned judging apparently able-bodied people who come out of disabled toilet stalls in this thread, but just bear in mind some of them may not be as able-bodied as you think! I can get a disability benefit and a disabled car parking permit (I don't, but I could) and I look as fit and able-bodied as any other 24 year old.

As a side note, I find it so interesting that in the US it is okay to say 'handicapped' whereas in NZ (where I live) it's on par with 'retard' or 'darkie' as far as offensiveness goes. Here we use 'people with disabilities', 'disabled people' or 'differently abled people'.

 

No one here uses the word "handicapped" to describe people -- it's used to describe parking spaces or bathroom slots or facilities. I'm not sure why we still use it, but where I live, it's generally considered offensive to use the word "handicapped" to refer to a person. 

And just wanted to second the comments on invisible disabilities. You really can't tell just by looking at a person what they have going on. Someone once made a snide comment about my seemingly youngish, able-bodied-looking sister using a mobility scooter in a store, and I was so angry about it -- she's in a nursing home when I don't have her out, ffs. I don't care WHAT she looks like to you. She needs that scooter, and I'll be damned if I sit by while you give her grief over it.

5 minutes ago, polecat said:

Someone once made a snide comment about my seemingly youngish, able-bodied-looking sister using a mobility scooter in a store

This is something I've never even given a second glance unless it's kids clearly acting up.  I figured most people would much rather get into a store and out of it without the hassles that trying to maneuver a vehicle through frequently narrow, crowded aisles present.

There are people that look at disability as some sort of extended vacation during which you get to sleep late, play games, be on the internet all day, etc.   All of that stuff is true, but the price is exceptionally high and I'd much rather be able to work. and be "normal."   I think that's true of most people who are disabled.

I definitely agree about the invisible disabilities thing. You never really know what's going on with a stranger.

I've occasionally gotten comments when I take a bunch of able-bodied (and clearly unrelated) teenagers into the special needs/family locker room at the local Y. What people don't realize is that those kids have unsafe behavior so I can't send them into a locker room without supervision. The special needs/family lockers are the only place with a setup of private changing rooms where I can see all the doors at the same time. Obviously I don't tell people that because it's none of their business what the kids' issue is, but I really wish people wouldn't assume that a complete stranger doesn't have a legitimate need just because they can't see it.

59 minutes ago, Mercer said:

I've occasionally gotten comments when I take a bunch of able-bodied (and clearly unrelated) teenagers into the special needs/family locker room at the local Y

Again, I would think this is a legit use if I saw it.  How is one person supposed to supervise a number of children if you are in a regular stall. Even if the kids are older they may still need supervision for some reason and imagine all the people that would complain if they were running amok in the regular bathroom/dressing room.

Before the never healing wound, I would go to the community center her for pool therapy and the only accessible bathroom is the family one right next to the pool area.  We would have to wait sometimes for AGES for apparently able bodied single adults to come out of that room, which I assume they were using for convenience since the regular changing room was in a different place.

There are always lots of kids there so I expect to possibly have a wait for family's to get their kids all redressed or whatever they are going to do with them and that's no problem, but sitting out in the air conditioned room freezing because I'm soaking wet while a single individual takes a shower, dries their hair, puts on make up, etc is frustrating, not just for me, but the other families that would also like to use that bathroom/shower.   I always do the minimum necessary to get in and out because I know people may be waiting with freezing kids.

I have a close relative with a disability so profound she would never be in a public toilet, as it wouldn't meet her needs. Her disability is a 24/7 battle, for her and her family. She lives in agony, her parents live in constant emotional agony, and her sibling's life has been one of missed opportunities and taking a back seat. 

My relative is an extreme case, but I have learnt so much from her and her parents. About dignity, love, empathy, humanity, endurance. I could go on all day.

It's important that as society and as individuals we help those who need help. It can be a big thing or a little thing, but it matters. It matters so much. Anything else is shameful.

18 hours ago, polecat said:

No one here uses the word "handicapped" to describe people -- it's used to describe parking spaces or bathroom slots or facilities. I'm not sure why we still use it, but where I live, it's generally considered offensive to use the word "handicapped" to refer to a person. 

And just wanted to second the comments on invisible disabilities. You really can't tell just by looking at a person what they have going on. Someone once made a snide comment about my seemingly youngish, able-bodied-looking sister using a mobility scooter in a store, and I was so angry about it -- she's in a nursing home when I don't have her out, ffs. I don't care WHAT she looks like to you. She needs that scooter, and I'll be damned if I sit by while you give her grief over it.

Thanks for helping me to understand that a bit better! In my mind, a 'handicapped' toilet or parking space is for people who are disabled to use, so it seems like by saying a toilet or whatever is handicapped you're (general you) are referring to the people who need it as handicapped? I'm not trying to say that it's offensive, I just find it interesting how different things are acceptable in different places! Obviously in your area people with disabilities do not find that terminology offensive, and they're the ones whose opinions count on those sorts of things

On 5/18/2016 at 6:29 PM, Tikobaby said:

I spoke with Mrs. Baby to get her view on this thread since she is the one who is disabled, not me. She said she has no problem waiting her turn in line and does not expect the handicapped stall to be left empty at all times. She does think that if there are regular stalls available, able-bodied folks should always use them first and not the handicapped one. If the regular stalls are all full and the non-handicapped person can't wait, in her opinion, (and she's not speaking for all handicapped people, of course), it's OK for them to use the HC stall.   Our main issue is when we see an able-bodied person go in ahead of us and find them in the handicapped stall when there are regular ones open.

This is my view as well. I walk with a cane, my energy and stamina are very easily depleted, and I need the railings. The former condition is obvious - the latter two conditions are invisible. I don't expect people to know or suspect my invisible conditions, but if a person with a visible handicap comes into a multi-stall restroom, I would hope people would offer a place.

If I'm the person waiting and I'm desperate (another invisible condition, unfortunately...), I have asked the people in front of me if they need the handicap stall. The few times I've asked, no one has seemed to have a problem, but maybe they were secretly calling me a line-jumping special snowflake ;-) 

From what I am aware of, the disabled bathroom stall and parking spaces are two different ballgames.  Using the disabled parking spaces without proper documentation for the car is illegal and can result in a ticket and/or towing.  

AS far as bathroom stalls--- I was once yelled at by a disabled person for using the stall.  The venue was a movie theater and the movie I just saw (a 'chick flick' with a sold out audience at least 80% female) had just let out and there was a line for the women's bathroom (at least 30 people). I can't remember the number of stalls (it's been years since I've been to this theater) but at least 5.  Everyone used the first one available.  Disabled woman yelled at me for getting out of the stall and not letting her there first (If I had seen her I would have let her ahead, but she wasn't there).   I have no idea if she cut the line or not.

But what is the proper etiquette if there is a line of people?  (At a Broadway show, I've used the men's room to avoid the line).  Does everyone use the first available stall or do they leave the one vacant?  Are you supposed to let someone in a wheelchair ahead of the line?

Also would this change based on the age of the audience of the event (for argument's sake, I'm using events that are predominately female)?  Would an audience of teenagers (ie a boy band concert) vs an audience of 50+ women make a difference?

AS for the ADA-- I believe it was signed into law in the early 90s.  My understanding is that it applied to new commercial buildings and that existing ones were grandfathered in.  I've worked in non accessible campaign offices before (often the rent was very cheap).  

I completely understand the urgency of needing to go and wanting to use the first available stall.  But I also know how truly awful I would feel if I used that stall and came out to see someone who obviously NEEDS it waiting for my ass to get the hell out of there.