1 hour ago, Curious said:

If you don't absolutely need it for some reason, even if it's the next one in line you should not use it.

I can't count the number of times I've had to wait ages to use the handicap stall, which is the ONLY one I can use vs the multiple amount of regular stalls.

If there are 4 stalls and 30 people in line, I do not agree that we should just save it for the off chance that someone who needs it. Why should the person with a disability get to cruise in, no wait, while everyone else is missing the movie/concert and trying not to pee themselves? I mean, in airports and other places where there are banks of stalls, sure, whatever. But at smaller venues where the line gets really long, wouldn't it make more sense to use all available stalls? Especially when there are so few? 

That sucks that you can only use the unisex/family bathrooms. So many places don't even have them. 

31 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

If there are 4 stalls and 30 people in line, I do not agree that we should just save it for the off chance that someone who needs it. Why should the person with a disability get to cruise in, no wait, while everyone else is missing the movie/concert and trying not to pee themselves?

I have been in this situation where there was someone in the handicap stall and a huge line.  People BEHIND me got to use the restroom before I did because I can only use ONE stall, where as most people can use any stall.

It's pretty fucking frustrating. 

6 minutes ago, Curious said:

I have been in this situation where there was someone in the handicap stall and a huge line.  People BEHIND me got to use the restroom before I did because I can only use ONE stall, where as most people can use any stall.

It's pretty fucking frustrating. 

It would be more frustrating for more people to see an empty stall while 30 people have to share three and one just sits there specifically for you. Tell me how that is fair? Maybe the person who went in there directly before you could have waited, but you know, obviously you are so special that you get your own bathroom while the rest of us get to share the rest. Having the line move as fast as possible makes more sense. Especially at events that involve lots of drinking, which is the only time I ever see lines. 

4 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

Maybe the person who went in there directly before you could have waited, but you know, obviously you are so special that you get your own bathroom while the rest of us get to share the rest.

You know what...FUCK YOU.  I really hope you never end up in a situation where you are not healthy and fit because your karma in those types of situations is very much in the negative.

Just now, Curious said:

You know what...FUCK YOU.  I really hope you never end up in a situation where you are not healthy and fit because your karma in those types of situations is very much in the negative.

 

Whatever. I really don't understand why you think that you are so special that you should get to go use one of 3 or 4 stalls while a huge line (30+) people wait. There is a bathroom like that where I go and it SUCKS. I can't imagine having to only use 2 of the stalls while everyone stands around and leaves it empty for one person. If we were to change the way the line works or have a separate entrance for the disabled stall, fine. I get it. But to leave one stall open - that someone couldn't even get to unless they pushed through a crowd - makes NO sense me. Furthermore, the times I've seen who is in line behind me I could probably count on one hand. 

I will try to make more of an effort to look for wheelchairs in lines behind me and make sure that they get to pee first, regardless of how long I have been waiting. 

4 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

Whatever. I really don't understand why you think that you are so special

well I don't understand why you are such a raging bitch, so I guess we are fucking even then aren't we?

Just now, Curious said:

well I don't understand why you are such a raging bitch, so I guess we are fucking even then aren't we?

OBVIOUSLY you think that you should have the right to pee before 30+ people because you are disabled. Am I supposed to treat disabled people the same as I treat everyone or differently? Because if it's the same, then no, I'm not going to let anyone cut if I am desperate for a bathroom (which if I'm waiting for a public toilet, I probably am.)

Of course, I wouldn't take the big stall if opened up and someone with a disability was right behind me, I'd wait for a small one. Not everyone would, because not everyone would even know that they are supposed to leave it open. I had no idea that "saving the big stall" was even really a thing until very recently, and it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. Especially with how very few times I actually see a line in a public toilet. And when I see a line, it's a LINE. 

It must be lovely to be so assured that you are correct about everything.  My obviously special snowflake self is done with you.  buh bye!

1 hour ago, Maggie Mae said:

Whatever. I really don't understand why you think that you are so special that you should get to go use one of 3 or 4 stalls while a huge line (30+) people wait. There is a bathroom like that where I go and it SUCKS. I can't imagine having to only use 2 of the stalls while everyone stands around and leaves it empty for one person. If we were to change the way the line works or have a separate entrance for the disabled stall, fine. I get it. But to leave one stall open - that someone couldn't even get to unless they pushed through a crowd - makes NO sense me. Furthermore, the times I've seen who is in line behind me I could probably count on one hand. 

I will try to make more of an effort to look for wheelchairs in lines behind me and make sure that they get to pee first, regardless of how long I have been waiting. 

Because those facilities are set aside for people who cannot use other facilities. My mom can't stand for more than a minute or two and her scooter thing she has to use in stores does not fit in most rest rooms. So she should fall over in line while the 30 people in front of her use the facilities MEANT for her? In other countries, people aren't even ALLOWED to use handicapped facilities, if not by law then by a sense of good manners and decorum.

ETA: Very recently? Accessibility guidelines were set out in the ADA in the early 1990s, FFS!

ETA2: And my mom is not in a wheelchair but she cannot use a restroom without bars. So wheelchair - bound people are not the only ones with needs. Some disability is not visible.

1 hour ago, Maggie Mae said:

Whatever. I really don't understand why you think that you are so special that you should get to go use one of 3 or 4 stalls while a huge line (30+) people wait. There is a bathroom like that where I go and it SUCKS. I can't imagine having to only use 2 of the stalls while everyone stands around and leaves it empty for one person. If we were to change the way the line works or have a separate entrance for the disabled stall, fine. I get it. But to leave one stall open - that someone couldn't even get to unless they pushed through a crowd - makes NO sense me. Furthermore, the times I've seen who is in line behind me I could probably count on one hand. 

I will try to make more of an effort to look for wheelchairs in lines behind me and make sure that they get to pee first, regardless of how long I have been waiting. 

As to the "special" comment, do you realize a lot of people- and I mean a lot- with and without disabilities you can see - actually do have special needs when it comes to toilets? Incontinence issues, colostomy bags, organs that don't quite function "normally" that do make it necessary to skip line so poor widdle you might be inconvenienced? THERE ARE ADULTS OUT THERE WHO NOT POTTY TRAINED because of developmental delays. And before you say it, they can wear diapers but diapers can get full.

For a lot of people, this issue is a matter of health and well-being, not discomfort the way it is for you. And what makes you so special that you have a right to potentially put someone at risk?

1 hour ago, Maggie Mae said:

OBVIOUSLY you think that you should have the right to pee before 30+ people because you are disabled. Am I supposed to treat disabled people the same as I treat everyone or differently? Because if it's the same, then no, I'm not going to let anyone cut if I am desperate for a bathroom (which if I'm waiting for a public toilet, I probably am.)

What is wrong with you?  Seriously.

Common courtesy is lacking, the milk of human kindness is lacking, and are you channeling IFTR?

1 minute ago, Palimpsest said:

What is wrong with you?  Seriously.

Common courtesy is lacking, the milk of human kindness is lacking, and are you channeling IFTR?

It'sFuntoRun is exactly what this exchanged conjured.

Compassion.  It should be mandatory training before one is considered an adult. 

When I was a young mother and someone was overheard making similar remarks, someone else responded saying it pays to remember that all of us are only one serious accident away from being in that same position.  As Steve would say, something to think about.  Or the regular Karma she be a bitch. 

4 hours ago, Curious said:

These days I can only use family restrooms because I require assistance from my husband since my surgeries last year.  They are somewhat few and far between though

Wait, your husband goes in to the bathroom with you?  What is he, some kind of pervert?

3 minutes ago, crazydaffodil said:

Wait, your husband goes in to the bathroom with you?  What is he, some kind of pervert?

Yes, yes he is

Just now, nelliebelle1197 said:

Because those facilities are set aside for people who cannot use other facilities. My mom can't stand for more than a minute or two and her scooter thing she has to use in stores does not fit in most rest rooms. So she should fall over in line while the 30 people in front of her use the facilities MEANT for her? In other countries, people aren't even ALLOWED to use handicapped facilities, if not by law then by a sense of good manners and decorum.

But they aren't "set aside." My old office building had one bathroom with stall on my floor, and it was the big stall (or stall for the disabled people, I'm not sure what term to use. Some people were calling it the handicapped stall but I don't think I'm supposed to say handicapped anymore and I do want to use proper terms.) There were two sinks, one large stall with provisions for disabled people. 

The other floors were different businesses and were locked, so if I was to use the restroom I had to use the disabled stall, or go down 8 flights of stairs and trek across the parking lot to a different building. Fuck that. Also I HAD NO IDEA that I wasn't supposed to use the stall for disabled people. This is something that was just brought to my attention a few months ago, on reddit.

IMO, anyone who would think that I shouldn't use the toilet on my floor at my workplace because I'm not disabled is completely impractical. Yes, in other countries abled bodied people aren't allowed to use them. That's not here. The number of toilets per employee is set by OSHA. The ADA requires a certain percent of toilets to be accessible. To me, that means that it's expected that everyone can use all public toilets, just that some are required to be designed to the ada's specifications.

In my earlier example, with the 30+ people in line for three stalls, it's a local concert venue/restaurant. There is no way you can convince that many women to leave one stall open when there are just three to begin with. I just don't see that happening. To me, that's a failure of the law, the business (seriously, you serve alcohol. you know there will be a line), or even just society (other countries have female urinals) more so than politeness. Of course, I'm certain that if a disabled person were in line and they got towards the front of the line, they would be told to go ahead. Maybe. I really don't know. It's just not something I have actual experience with. 

First off, if there is only ONE stall it has to be accessible by law.  Obviously, if that is the case, then you'd use that stall.   uh...DUH

4 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

It's just not something I have actual experience with. 

So maybe instead of acting like you DO have experience and you know how it should work you listen to the people that DO have experience.   I realize this would be a totally new thing for you to try, but getting out of our comfort zones is often a good thing.

18 minutes ago, crazydaffodil said:

Wait, your husband goes in to the bathroom with you?  What is he, some kind of pervert?

I heard her husband wears dresses and shops at Target.

1 minute ago, Curious said:

First off, if there is only ONE stall it has to be accessible by law.  Obviously, if that is the case, then you'd use that stall.   uh...DUH

Well, apparently I am not supposed to use it because I have to leave it open at all times for someone with a disability to use. That's what you said earlier, right? That's what this entire post was about, about how able-bodied people don't have the right to use the stall, even when there is a long line, when it's the only one open, etc.

1 minute ago, Curious said:

So maybe instead of acting like you DO have experience and you know how it should work you listen to the people that DO have experience.   I realize this would be a totally new thing for you to try, but getting out of our comfort zones is often a good thing.

I am listening. I got it. Do not ever use the handicapped stall for any reason, unless I am disabled or have babies. I got it loud and clear, practicality be damned. Even where there isn't more than one person at a bar or concert or restaurant who might need it, they deserve to not wait even one minute for it. Everyone else, get in the 40 minute line! You are bleeding through your tampon right now? TOO BAD.

OBVIOUSLY if there are people who can't stand in line, they should be allowed to go to the front. But how is anyone supposed to know that? When I am in line for the public toilet, I am usually not sober and not paying any attention to whomever is behind me. I'm also usually desperate because I HATE waiting in lines and I HATE having to pee where anyone can hear it. 

6 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

Well, apparently I am not supposed to use it because I have to leave it open at all times for someone with a disability to use.

You do understand that the world is not black and white, don't you?   FUCK why did I bother coming back to this when I knew how it would turn out. 

OBVIOUSLY if there is ONE stall everyone would use it.  If there is ONLY ONE stall, BY LAW it MUST be accessible.  This is not fucking rocket science.

If you are trying to be sarcastic, you just sound dumb.

6 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

Do not ever use the handicapped stall for any reason, unless I am disabled or have babies

Yep that's EXACTLY what was said.  Enjoy your walk down 8 flights of stairs, across a parking lot, up hill, in the snow, both ways, in bare feet.   Get off the fucking cross.  We need the wood.

1 hour ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

Because those facilities are set aside for people who cannot use other facilities. My mom can't stand for more than a minute or two and her scooter thing she has to use in stores does not fit in most rest rooms. So she should fall over in line while the 30 people in front of her use the facilities MEANT for her? In other countries, people aren't even ALLOWED to use handicapped facilities, if not by law then by a sense of good manners and decorum.

ETA: Very recently? Accessibility guidelines were set out in the ADA in the early 1990s, FFS!

ETA2: And my mom is not in a wheelchair but she cannot use a restroom without bars. So wheelchair - bound people are not the only ones with needs. Some disability is not visible.

I meant that I had no idea that people had a problem with able bodied people using the bigger stalls with the handles. If there is a line (like at sports or concerts or a theme park/fair, whatever) it seems that most people just go into whichever one is open first. I only recently became aware that this wasn't polite. 

In the US, ada requires a specific percent of the rooms to be accessible, but OSHA requires 1 per 40 employees. Its understood that those ones are still able to be used by everyone. 

1 hour ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

As to the "special" comment, do you realize a lot of people- and I mean a lot- with and without disabilities you can see - actually do have special needs when it comes to toilets? Incontinence issues, colostomy bags, organs that don't quite function "normally" that do make it necessary to skip line so poor widdle you might be inconvenienced? THERE ARE ADULTS OUT THERE WHO NOT POTTY TRAINED because of developmental delays. And before you say it, they can wear diapers but diapers can get full.

For a lot of people, this issue is a matter of health and well-being, not discomfort the way it is for you. And what makes you so special that you have a right to potentially put someone at risk?

I'm sorry. Thank you. I mean that seriously. I didn't realize how that sounded, and I apologize for that. I also wasn't considering developmental delays and that was inconsiderate of me. 

10 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

I didn't realize how that sounded, and I apologize for that.

You didn't understand how what sounded?  The fact that you called me OBVIOUSLY so special...several times?

Nice back peddle if that is what you are talking about.

Sorry I didn't feel like mentioning my random incontinence  due to my surgeries/nerve damage/prolonged catheter use on a public blog.   I can see if I would have done that you wouldn't have been such a bitch.  

Edit: incontinence and inconvenience are not the same thing

I spoke with Mrs. Baby to get her view on this thread since she is the one who is disabled, not me. She said she has no problem waiting her turn in line and does not expect the handicapped stall to be left empty at all times. She does think that if there are regular stalls available, able-bodied folks should always use them first and not the handicapped one. If the regular stalls are all full and the non-handicapped person can't wait, in her opinion, (and she's not speaking for all handicapped people, of course), it's OK for them to use the HC stall.   Our main issue is when we see an able-bodied person go in ahead of us and find them in the handicapped stall when there are regular ones open.  We do want to say that we actually didn't think about folks who might need the bigger stall to deal with specific medical issues so thanks for the reminder.  If the restroom is a 1 person accessible one, than everyone uses it, no problem. 

We have more trouble finding an open handicapped parking space than we've ever had using the restroom since we're rarely out long enough to have to use a public restroom anyway. 

The etiquette I was raised with regarding it is:

If there are regular stalls available and you are able to use one, you should use one of those because a person may come in behind you who needs the handicapped stall.

If someone is waiting who needs the handicapped stall, they have priority for using it even if they are not at the front of the line, because need trumps convenience. People with mobility issues may not be able to wait comfortably in line, and should not be expected to endure discomfort while others use their designated facility.

If no one who is waiting specifically needs that stall, anyone may use it because there's no point leaving it empty while people wait in line. That said, you should be aware that someone may come in who needs it, so you should do your business and vacate rather than lingering. (And who wants to linger in a public restroom anyway?)

Common sense is marvelous isn't it?

I have crohn's disease, so when I need to go, I need to GO. If every other stall is full, you best believe I'll be hustling into the disabled one. A lot of people have mentioned judging apparently able-bodied people who come out of disabled toilet stalls in this thread, but just bear in mind some of them may not be as able-bodied as you think! I can get a disability benefit and a disabled car parking permit (I don't, but I could) and I look as fit and able-bodied as any other 24 year old.

As a side note, I find it so interesting that in the US it is okay to say 'handicapped' whereas in NZ (where I live) it's on par with 'retard' or 'darkie' as far as offensiveness goes. Here we use 'people with disabilities', 'disabled people' or 'differently abled people'.