35
I turned 35. How did that happen? I am half way to 70. What the hell?!
I haven't been posting on FJ lately. Just going through another wave of not being super into forums. I'm sure I'll get back into it at some point. But right now I just don't have it in me, I guess. My son has been a bit of a terror lately. So in my limited free time I've been reading or playing a computer game. I've found that lately those two things are the best ways for me 'escape' for a bit.
I need to get out of my head. I feel like I'm going kind of crazy these days. I've been trying to make a major life decision and I'm just so confused. So this has been occupying my thoughts pretty much all day, every day. I keep going back and forth. And I just don't know what to do. This is legitimately the toughest decision I've ever had to make in my life. I have a hard enough time with mundane decisions. So this is rough. I feel lost. It's hard to find anyone to talk to about it since I don't have any close friends these days. My mom is my closest friend but this isn't really something I can get her advice on because she kind of as her own agenda. Plus, she'd never really help me figure out what to do since it's MY life....but I can tell what she HOPES I'll do.
I am worried I will look back on this time of my son's life and think "wow, I let that occupy my mind way too much." But yet...I can't stop thinking about it. The regrets just keep piling up for me, I guess.
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