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The Girl Who Blogged

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35


ClaraOswin

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I turned 35. How did that happen? I am half way to 70. What the hell?!

I haven't been posting on FJ lately. Just going through another wave of not being super into forums. I'm sure I'll get back into it at some point. But right now I just don't have it in me, I guess. My son has been a bit of a terror lately. So in my limited free time I've been reading or playing a computer game. I've found that lately those two things are the best ways for me 'escape' for a bit.

I need to get out of my head. I feel like I'm going kind of crazy these days. I've been trying to make a major life decision and I'm just so confused. So this has been occupying my thoughts pretty much all day, every day. I keep going back and forth. And I just don't know what to do. This is legitimately the toughest decision I've ever had to make in my life. I have a hard enough time with mundane decisions. So this is rough. I feel lost. It's hard to find anyone to talk to about it since I don't have any close friends these days. My mom is my closest friend but this isn't really something I can get her advice on because she kind of as her own agenda. Plus, she'd never really help me figure out what to do since it's MY life....but I can tell what she HOPES I'll do.

I am worried I will look back on this time of my son's life and think "wow, I let that occupy my mind way too much." But yet...I can't stop thinking about it. The regrets just keep piling up for me, I guess.

 

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MarblesMom

Posted

Well, happy birthday to you  :)  !!!!

I always make the list of pros and cons on a piece of paper (super old skool) when thinking thru a major decision.  Maybe try that?

Wishing you a good 35th year and a happy, resolved decision  :)

And, good to hear from you again!  (Love the video)

And, I am halfway to 102  - just to keep things in perspective  LOL

 

  • Upvote 5
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just...sare

Posted

Happy birthday :)

I hear you on wishing you had someone to go over everything with to help - but in the end, you still have to make the decision yourself. It can be so hard.

If you need an almost total stranger's advice, I'm here, and probably lots of other people here too.

Take good care of yourself.

(I turned 36 a few weeks ago and the "closer to 50 than 20" thing got me too.)

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Karma

Posted

Happy Birthday, Clara.  I remember 35, it is a bit of a milestone.  I actually found 40 easier than 35 in a strange kind of way, if that gives any comfort. (I'm not feeling quite so happy about the looming 50th...)

Good luck with your decision.  And whatever it is I hope it brings a resolution to your inner turmoil.  

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ClaraOswin

Posted

Thanks all. I might write a blog about the decision I'm trying to make. I know the blogs here are 100% public but I might do it anyway. I think I can always delete it if I want, right?

Glad to hear that 40 was easier. Hopefully that will be the case for me. I actually didn't mind turning 30. So maybe 40 will be the the same.

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WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?

Posted

I'm not sure whether you can delete your own blog entry or not. When I made 2 entries on mine sort of by mistake (I was trying out the delayed posting thing and messed it up), I had to ask for help to delete them. Mine were just 2 titles and 2 pictures, so an admin kindly deleted them for me. You might ask over in the Technical Support forum, or the Community Questions forum. Better to know for sure before you post, right?

Happy Birthday! It's nice to see another one of your blog entries. You post videos I might never see otherwise! I'm sorry you're stuck on what to decide. I can really sympathize.

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ClaraOswin

Posted

Ah. I think you might be right. I remembering editing one of my blogs before when I noticed a typo. But I guess after a certain amount of time they can't be edited anymore.

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withaj

Posted

Happy birthday! I've missed seeing you around, though I haven't been terribly active either as of late.

I've always felt a sort of kinship with you since we joined and began posting in the same threads at the same time.  If you ever need an ear, I'd be happy to oblige. 

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