It's amazing any of us are here, because our grandparents and those who came before were crazy people judging on the print ads.

First - they were very anti-VD which I can totally get behind...so to speak...

This one..you know she's just a good time gal because she's winking...nothing more whorish than moving your eyelid up and down in the general direction of another person...

Gay totally did mean something different back then...either that or Midol had very different side effects...

And child rearing methods were certainly different...

I have never changed a diaper like this...

And I know braces weren't as ubiquitous as they've been in the second half of the 20th century and but they didn't have to jail their children's thumbs to keep from sucking...it's self soothing ffs...(this Lindbergh baby had one of these...maybe he left of his own accord.)

And when those pesky little tykes just wouldn't shush up some Mrs. Winslows Soothing Syrup will ensure Mom gets a good night's sleep.  Spoiler alert:  it's soothing because the two main ingredients were morphine and alcohol.  It's on lists of baby killing tonics...how many kids died because teething or being gassy was too much trouble for their parents.  Perhaps don't have children if you can't resist turning them into little Courtney Love's before they can sit unassisted.  

Medicine wasn't all bad, though...heck back then you could cure asthma by smoking!  They were very responsible by putting a minimum recommended age for the cigs, though - I like to see companies looking out for the kids.  And a cig that can cure bad breath ...I am skeptical.

And OCD and anxiety with Ovaltine...which I'm so adopting as my new treatment plan.  I forgot how much I love Ovaltine.

And once women sedated their children in a coma like state they could get out one of the trusty "medical devices" that cured "female hysteria."  A little quality alone time for Mommy to treat her own ailment and she was probably a lot more relaxed.

If that fails then Mommy can take a couple of swigs of Mrs. Winslow's Opiate Addiction...which is probably how things like this happen...

HOW is this an ad rather than a cautionary tale?  What in this image could possibly compel anyone to purchase soap?  Purchase non-skid mat for under your tub, PSA for not leaving a child unattended sure...but what kind of psychopath would look at this and want to buy the soap?

No medical answer to this one though, I guess they just get assigned laundry duty...

I wouldn't have even been able to eat chocolate back in the day because this ad was so scary...why the boots?  And that was Trump's name before his family changed it...I would not be surprised if one of his relatives dreamed this up.  Giving people nightmares may run in the family.  

But this is kinda cool.  Smart phones are one thing, but mine doesn't do this...

Can't forget the delicious food...

And I'd have had way more interesting career options...

Although I would never want to leave home if I had a kitchen like this...(seriously, I love this so much)

Speaking of work...it's the weekend!