I don't have any words of wisdom, except to not follow the unsafe and blindingly sexist advice from ads of yesteryear which told women to flood their neither regions with Lysol to keep their husband happy.

http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist/2009/05/14/vintage-lysoldouching-advertisement-corner/

Here's just one example:

Walked out on his wife and child because she didn't douche with Lysol?  I need to know exactly how good his junk smelled and I need to know right now.

Yes!  Because chronic yeast infections and irritation brought on by douching is sooo much sexier.

But it's not just about our lady parts....no...we also need to make sure our stockings are always in tip top condition if we don't want to displease our headships...

And if our stockings are important, you can imagine how much more attention we need to pay to our support garments which look about as comfy as an iron maiden...

And our moods....who amongst us would dare have an emotion for any reason except bringing pleasure to our man...mother's little helpers...even Mick Jagger sang about them.

And when Mommy needed something stronger...

And if you script ran out you can always mood regulate with...ivory soap?  I have no idea how that would work...I'll ask my husband to explain it to me when I get home.

And then there is our coffee...who would blame them for spanking us if they had to drink a substandard cup of joe...it's not like they could possibly make it their damn selves...

And we need to raise the kiddos properly...even if that means giving infants SODA and razor blades?  (I know previous generations grew up quicker, but had no they needed to shave before they could speak.)   I mean to me that sounds insane, but what do I know...I'm just a woman...

Or give them guns to play with...I didn't do any of these things with my kids...I hope they turn out okay.

I'm still thrilled the men of the previous century came up with a ketchup bottle little ol' me could open...

(Seriously - kind of am since without ketchup I'd have starved to death years ago...although wrong brand.  Who eats Delmonte ketchup?  Heinz is the only true ketchup - that's science.)

Speaking of food...I know that like me when you want to thank your husband for not beating you any more you serve him tomato soup.  That's the universal symbol of gratitude for no longer subjecting us to violence.

I'm really glad to find one about how men can be more attractive to us...I mean there is nothing hotter than a man in a pair of polyester pants made by Mr. Leggs...what a lucky girl to have landed someone who wore those..

I admit my man doesn't have a pair of the above mentioned slacks...but he does have shoes.  I often lay naked on the floor staring at one thinking of how lucky I am to have a man with feet...

And these aren't all from our grandparent's day...this is from my chidhood...I remember it being in Teen and Seventeen and not thinking twice.  What the ever loving fuck was this?  And I still wear this...I love the scent but their marketing department can diaf.

Edited to add more crazy