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Buffy's Commentary

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Things a little rocky with you and your man...

HerNameIsBuffy

3,761 views

I don't have any words of wisdom, except to not follow the unsafe and blindingly sexist advice from ads of yesteryear which told women to flood their neither regions with Lysol to keep their husband happy.

http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist/2009/05/14/vintage-lysoldouching-advertisement-corner/

Here's just one example:

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Walked out on his wife and child because she didn't douche with Lysol?  I need to know exactly how good his junk smelled and I need to know right now.

Yes!  Because chronic yeast infections and irritation brought on by douching is sooo much sexier.

But it's not just about our lady parts....no...we also need to make sure our stockings are always in tip top condition if we don't want to displease our headships...

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And if our stockings are important, you can imagine how much more attention we need to pay to our support garments which look about as comfy as an iron maiden...

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And our moods....who amongst us would dare have an emotion for any reason except bringing pleasure to our man...mother's little helpers...even Mick Jagger sang about them.

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And when Mommy needed something stronger...

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And if you script ran out you can always mood regulate with...ivory soap?  I have no idea how that would work...I'll ask my husband to explain it to me when I get home.

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And then there is our coffee...who would blame them for spanking us if they had to drink a substandard cup of joe...it's not like they could possibly make it their damn selves...

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And we need to raise the kiddos properly...even if that means giving infants SODA and razor blades?  (I know previous generations grew up quicker, but had no they needed to shave before they could speak.)   I mean to me that sounds insane, but what do I know...I'm just a woman...

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Or give them guns to play with...I didn't do any of these things with my kids...I hope they turn out okay.

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I'm still thrilled the men of the previous century came up with a ketchup bottle little ol' me could open...

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(Seriously - kind of am since without ketchup I'd have starved to death years ago...although wrong brand.  Who eats Delmonte ketchup?  Heinz is the only true ketchup - that's science.)

Speaking of food...I know that like me when you want to thank your husband for not beating you any more you serve him tomato soup.  That's the universal symbol of gratitude for no longer subjecting us to violence.

 

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I'm really glad to find one about how men can be more attractive to us...I mean there is nothing hotter than a man in a pair of polyester pants made by Mr. Leggs...what a lucky girl to have landed someone who wore those..

 

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I admit my man doesn't have a pair of the above mentioned slacks...but he does have shoes.  I often lay naked on the floor staring at one thinking of how lucky I am to have a man with feet...

 

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And these aren't all from our grandparent's day...this is from my chidhood...I remember it being in Teen and Seventeen and not thinking twice.  What the ever loving fuck was this?  And I still wear this...I love the scent but their marketing department can diaf.

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Edited to add more crazy

 

  • Upvote 7


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violynn

Posted

Sweet Mary Murgatroid!  Every time I see the ads for Lysol douches I go into shock once again considering squirting Lysol up my hoo-hah.  Lysol, even in lemon scent, is not a dainty smell.  How the hell do they think that's going to 'fix' feminine hygiene???  "My Lysol brings all the boys to the yard..."   And as you said, Buffy - let's consider junk odor for a moment or five, shall we???  These people don't even *WIPE* after they pee!!  You know a drip or so has GOT to hit their boxers every time they unholster and reload, after a full day a man will come home smelling like a flippin' bar after a Ladies Happy Hour all night long.  And they want to be greeted at the door with a wife dressed in Saran Wrap, freshly Lysoled with her sexy Lux stockings perfectly lined up and unzip Mr. Happy right there and have a big whiff of wee penis?!  

That's why Mommy has to have all those helpers, and buzz her kids to the gills on Nembutal, so they stay out of the way while Daddy's getting his hummer and Mommy can then finish dinner.

On a more serious note, that kid's eyes in the Nebutal's ad?  My kitten was spayed yesterday and her eyes were stoned out like that all night after we brought her home.  I thought it'd be funny, but it was damnsad.

Also, when I was 4, I was apparently so 'overly-excitable' that Mom took me to the pediatrician to complain and he put me on *VALIUM*.  My 4 yo little brain on VALIUM!  WTF were people doing in the late 60's early 70's????

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Karma

Posted

Buffy, you crack me up.

Now, my son's incessant playing of revolting music is driving me insane.  Where can I get some Nervine?

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  • Posts

    • Markie

      Posted

      The T-shirts and leggings the girls are made to wear under their dresses are so unnecessary. It’s the same as wearing longjohns under a summer dress. I notice the boys don’t have to wear longjohns. 

      • Upvote 2
    • nausicaa

      Posted

      1 hour ago, treemom said:

      He is absolutely the grossest of the Falwell kids.  His dad wasn’t great, his homophobia probably killed kids, but he wasn’t gross like this And homophobic.  He lived a consistent life, and at least publicly followed all the rules the students did.

      Was there talk about what a POS he was in the 90s before he took over for his father?

      This is like some weird Bush-Trump dichotomy where the latter manages to be such an unbelievable piece of shit he makes the former look okay. 

      I'm not a fan of Jerry Falwell Sr. at all, but like you said he had the good sense to at least hide any hypocrisy from the public and conducted himself with some sense of dignity. He had some unhinged rants (I'm not forgetting that post-9/11 humdinger) but he delivered them in a fire and brimstone sermon style I could see appealing to his base.

      Jr. on Twitter just comes off like some teenage troll lacking any of the gravitas I would think a college would want in its president. Does anyone remember the weird mask tweet from only two months ago where he posted a mask with the blackface photo of VA's governor on it and said it's the only mask he would wear? Dude, what the hell is wrong with you?

      According to the Politico piece, two dozen Liberty staff allege Falwell would discuss his sex life at work in graphic detail and show off photos of his wife “in provocative and sexual poses.” There are rumors in Lynchburg that he has a drinking problem, and I could see this being a factor (while not denying what a total POS he is).

    • HereticHick

      Posted

      44 minutes ago, Kelsey said:

      Didn't Carlin Bates graduate from Liberty?

      yes, but online. Not sure she's ever been to the campus.

    • Idlewild

      Posted

      54 minutes ago, FluffySnowball said:

       Why would they still need extra layers for modesty? 

      Because they need to emphasise it- if you just had a modest neckline nobody would notice or care. I’m sure Anna thinks the undershirts and leggings make people appreciate her commitment to feminine modesty. Unfortunately it also makes people think her husband can’t be trusted. 

      • Upvote 1
    • JermajestyDuggar

      Posted

      57 minutes ago, neurogirl said:

      I still think she dodged a bullet by not ending up with Nathan, as she would be forced to live in the country with fewer pregnant women to harass. She seems strong willed, which I still respect in a fundie woman, though I wish she used her force of personality for better causes, like better lives for the children born in difficult circumstances. I think she and fiance are a good match and they both have terrible beliefs I want nothing to do with. 

      Nathan just seems like such a douchecanoe and will end up with a more pliant lady. 

      But now these two assholes will likely become some sort of fundie power couple and use that power to harm. Too bad she’s not stuck on the farm with no one to harass.

      • Thank You 1


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