Far away, far away in a foreign land
It has been over five years that I've been living in a foreign country. I've been home once in that time (and by home I mean to my home country and not to the house that I grew up in).
In that time I have (among other things):
- learnt a new language
- worked crappy jobs because I couldn't get anything better
- been exploited in an illegal 'work' situation (because I was a foreigner and they deemed it ok)
- got a new degree
- struggled with bureaucracy
- been discriminated against because I wasn't born here to a family who actually comes from here (as far as they know...)
- taken a class on how society works here (for want of a better description)
- lost my native feeling towards English as a language (no really, it's terrible, I hate it, it's insane)
During my course on how to integrate here we had different topics. These were 90% filled up with discussions about our own countries and less about the target country. This was not our choice. It was how the course was built. Such a waste of time. Oh and they claimed it was 'made to size' which isn't true. At all! Anyway hidden behind a spoiler is a bit of what this entailed, or rather what I has expected from the course that was missing
General knowledge of the country
- name the royal family members. Who cares if no natives here can.
- learn random geography features like the highest and lowest points. most southern and northern points. biggest water. etc
- population stats. none useful
That is all I remember from that part. It seems pretty useless really, they would have been better letting us watch a film about certain people who helped shape some of society so we could place some of the modern day stuff better. Just saying... Or taken us to a museum to see the history of the people of this country. Much more interesting/useful than looking up random facts and figures of a country.
Education
- very brief overview of the school system from young to 18.
- some information about high schools
This was a terrible day. I still don't understand how high school works here. It is also not relevant to me, but hey - made to size at its best. We had no information about studying as an adult, where to find extra info, what to watch for (like those organizations claiming they have accredited stuff when they don't!), how to enroll for tertiary education (because it is a bitch!),.. I was disappointed, they could have explained a lot more in depth some aspects (like what children are expected to be able to do when they start school, how to navigate tertiary education if you want to study more, how to get your degree approved her etc).
Work
- there is, but there isn't a minimum loan. what that is (or isn't) no one wanted to tell us.
- we visited a union (apparently this was really bad and not allowed)
- we also visited the unemployment agency (oops I got lost and didn't end up there)
what I really missed here was 'what sort of jobs can I apply for while learning the language'. I have asked so many people this and no one really dares to answer. <- this includes work offices, temp agencies, employment agencies...
Healthcare
- visited an er waiting room (yes really, we turned up as a group of 20 unannounced people just to get shown one of the local hospitals and did nothing there. we walked, which used up a lot of time...
- were told not to go directly to the ER, but that you need a referral from your GP first - or something weird like that (i guess it's to stop ER instead of GP visits, but they made it sound a bit weird). Just saying - if my leg is noticeably broken you'll find me at the ER and not at home waiting for my dr to have an appointment opening four days later...
- you can book specialist appointments yourself. I don't understand when it is appropriate to do this. Noone has given me guidelines for this even though I have asked. Apparently it's something you grow up knowing from a gut feeling - my instinct is to let my GP refer me when needed (they should know right?).
- you must have healthcare coverage. we were informed about how to deal with one major player ie the color they use (apparently just as big a no-no as the union visit)
- I think around this time we got a book on safe sex. It wished us a happy sex life, told us sodomy is legal (but that doesn't mean some people don't find it disgusting) and that you should use condoms.
That book was weird. like wtf weird. weirder than those 'all about your body and menstruation' books we got in sex-ed weird. IIRC is did not mention woman contraceptives nor where you should go for this (gp, obgyn,...). Nor did it address anything about abortion (which is legal but has a time limit here).
There are some useful things to know about healthcare here that they didn't mention: like there is a group of GPs who use government pricing on visits, and some who don't, you pay for bloodtests (a few months later when a random bill turns up)!, how to chose which healthcare coverage is best for you (ok this might be a bit controversial, but if you don't know they're offering different services, then you'll probably just pick one randomly and it may not be the best for you), how to find lists of specialists/doctors/dentists (because there are nice comprehensive lists out there which are nicer to use than google)
Tourism
- we had a day where we hung out in the city being tourists.
No skipping days of they might fine you! so we had to go in order to hang out with people in the city (one of those attractions I've been to 4+times by now!)
I'm sure there was more, but all equally bad.
I was a good young adult and did my dues going to a course I thought would be useful. Worst waste of time enforced by the government ever.
Oh yeah one thing I was taught there:
That as someone who has parents born in two different countries I'm predisposed/guaranteed to grow up messed up and unable to find my own identity. I'm going to fail at education because my parents didn't grow up in the same town, and pretty much it's a guarantee for life long 'sucking at being human' status.
I will just add this, I may hyperbole that a bit, but that is because it is how it made me feel! I had lived the previous 23 years - yes 23 damn years without actually ever having thought about the possible consequences of the different birth countries of my parents. It wasn't an issue. No one ever bought it up as though it may be a bad thing. Until that moment. And I sat there thinking WTFWTFWTF are you saying? stupid man - it's only an issue if society/people make it an issue. otherwise I wouldn't have been able to grow up 23 damn years ignorant of this 'issue'. It still makes me steaming mad today what we were taught in that class.
What I also missed is information about discrimination, what is and isn't allowed, and what to do if you are discriminated against. The rule here is as a person being discriminated against you don't need physical proof to be able to lay a complaint with the people who look it up. I did not find this out until 4 years later -and went wtf. I guess they don't tell you because if everyone was reporting the discrimination that happens it would look a shitload worse than it does now.
Oh and I missed information about how they celebrate things like Easter and other such holidays here. Because it gets quirky (and my ignorance sometimes makes it highly amusing). Quirky enough that it took me over 6 years to realize what some of the weird quirky wtf symbolism is that they use for some celebrations. If you think rabbits delivering easter eggs is bad... well it can get weirder. I still make myself hot cross buns every year (60+ of them, by hand) Sometimes I stay up all night so my other half has fresh ones for work in the morning. I need to start gathering recipes. This year I'm going to try and make a bread-bunny *again*
So anyway one weird story to end my post.
I was going to the library once when I had been here a year or two. My language skills were mediocre. I saw someone drop a whole heap of books/dvds and being the nice kind person that I sometimes am, I stooped down, said in my broken language "let me help you". Oh my, that shocked "stuck-in-headlights" look that followed breaks my heart. I don't think I would have freaked that person out more than if I was holding a knife to her throat. It was that "shit I'm scared" look. I don't look scary, I'm short, sometimes smiling, apparently give off a friendly vibe*. I don't think I stick out too much in a crowd here (if you overlook the fact I'll be dressed for a season warmer). I wasn't being menacing or anything. But that reaction: the only thing I can think of that makes it make sense is that me being a foreigner freaked her out (sure it's possible that anyone would have received the same reaction, but I doubt it**). Said person hightailed it out of there on her bike, anxiously looking behind her. Dear lady - I never wanted to steal your library books.
*I'm the person you stop on the street to ask for directions. Usually I have spare free maps with me to give you to help you on your way - because I'm nice like that (and get stopped so frequently I found it worthwhile), and maps can be easier than saying "Go 3 blocks, turn a right just before maccas, walk until you hit the roundabout then take the left, you're looking for the big green building on your right down an alleyway."
** It is not the only time people have been friendly/smiling at me until I open my mouth and then do a 180 in their attitude. It may not be because I speak with a foreign accent, but it does seem slightly suspicious - especially when hearing discriminatory comments based on people's foreign background way too frequently. Maybe I'm just paranoid about it, I try not to be, who knows. I'm not about to detain someone to ask them why, that seems a bit risky/freaky
In case you didn't realize: I chose to come here, I'm mostly content with my choice. It's not a matter of "if you don't like it go home". Shit is never that simple, and I didn't write this because I hate it here. I wrote it because a thread on FJ triggered that last memory.
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