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In a fairytale world

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Far away, far away in a foreign land


OnceUponATime

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It has been over five years that I've been living in a foreign country. I've been home once in that time (and by home I mean to my home country and not to the house that I grew up in).

In that time I have (among other things):

  • learnt a new language
  • worked crappy jobs because I couldn't get anything better
  • been exploited in an illegal 'work' situation (because I was a foreigner and they deemed it ok)
  • got a new degree
  • struggled with bureaucracy
  • been discriminated against because I wasn't born here to a family who actually comes from here (as far as they know...)
  • taken a class on how society works here (for want of a better description)
  • lost my native feeling towards English as a language (no really, it's terrible, I hate it, it's insane)

 

During my course on how to integrate here we had different topics. These were 90% filled up with discussions about our own countries and less about the target country. This was not our choice. It was how the course was built. Such a waste of time. Oh and they claimed it was 'made to size' which isn't true. At all! Anyway hidden behind a spoiler is a bit of what this entailed, or rather what I has expected from the course that was missing
 

Spoiler

 

General knowledge of the country

  • name the royal family members. Who cares if no natives here can.
  • learn random geography features like the highest and lowest points. most southern and northern points. biggest water. etc
  • population stats. none useful

That is all I remember from that part. It seems pretty useless really, they would have been better letting us watch a film about certain people who helped shape some of society so we could place some of the modern day stuff better. Just saying... Or taken us to a museum to see the history of the people of this country. Much more interesting/useful than looking up random facts and figures of a country.

Education

  • very brief overview of the school system from young to 18.
  • some information about high schools

This was a terrible day. I still don't understand how high school works here. It is also not relevant to me, but hey - made to size at its best. We had no information about studying as an adult, where to find extra info, what to watch for (like those organizations claiming they have accredited stuff when they don't!), how to enroll for tertiary education (because it is a bitch!),.. I was disappointed, they could have explained a lot more in depth some aspects (like what children are expected to be able to do when they start school, how to navigate tertiary education if you want to study more, how to get your degree approved her etc).

Work

  • there is, but there isn't a minimum loan. what that is (or isn't) no one wanted to tell us.
  • we visited a union (apparently this was really bad and not allowed)
  • we also visited the unemployment agency (oops I got lost and didn't end up there)

what I really missed here was 'what sort of jobs can I apply for while learning the language'. I have asked so many people this and no one really dares to answer. <- this includes work offices, temp agencies, employment agencies...

Healthcare

  • visited an er waiting room (yes really, we turned up as a group of 20 unannounced people just to get shown one of the local hospitals and did nothing there. we walked, which used up a lot of time...
  • were told not to go directly to the ER, but that you need a referral from your GP first - or something weird like that (i guess it's to stop ER instead of GP visits, but they made it sound a bit weird). Just saying - if my leg is noticeably broken you'll find me at the ER and not at home waiting for my dr to have an appointment opening four days later...
  • you can book specialist appointments yourself. I don't understand when it is appropriate to do this. Noone has given me guidelines for this even though I have asked. Apparently it's something you grow up knowing from a gut feeling - my instinct is to let my GP refer me when needed (they should know right?).
  • you must have healthcare coverage. we were informed about how to deal with one major player ie the color they use (apparently just as big a no-no as the union visit)
  • I think around this time we got a book on safe sex. It wished us a happy sex life, told us sodomy is legal (but that doesn't mean some people don't find it disgusting) and that you should use condoms.

That book was weird. like wtf weird. weirder than those 'all about your body and menstruation' books we got in sex-ed weird. IIRC is did not mention woman contraceptives nor where you should go for this (gp, obgyn,...). Nor did it address anything about abortion (which is legal but has a time limit here).

There are some useful things to know about healthcare here that they didn't mention: like there is a group of GPs who use government pricing on visits, and some who don't, you pay for bloodtests (a few months later when a random bill turns up)!, how to chose which healthcare coverage is best for you (ok this might be a bit controversial, but if you don't know they're offering different services, then you'll probably just pick one randomly and it may not be the best for you), how to find lists of specialists/doctors/dentists (because there are nice comprehensive lists out there which are nicer to use than google)

Tourism

  • we had a day where we hung out in the city being tourists.

No skipping days of they might fine you! so we had to go in order to hang out with people in the city (one of those attractions I've been to 4+times by now!)

 

I'm sure there was more, but all equally bad.

 

I was a good young adult and did my dues going to a course I thought would be useful. Worst waste of time enforced by the government ever.

Oh yeah one thing I was taught there:

That as someone who has parents born in two different countries I'm predisposed/guaranteed to grow up messed up and unable to find my own identity. I'm going to fail at education because my parents didn't grow up in the same town, and pretty much it's a guarantee for life long 'sucking at being human' status.

I will just add this, I may hyperbole that a bit, but that is because it is how it made me feel! I had lived the previous 23 years - yes 23 damn years without actually ever having thought about the possible consequences of the different birth countries of my parents. It wasn't an issue. No one ever bought it up as though it may be a bad thing. Until that moment. And I sat there thinking WTFWTFWTF are you saying? stupid man - it's only an issue if society/people make it an issue. otherwise I wouldn't have been able to grow up 23 damn years ignorant of this 'issue'. It still makes me steaming mad today what we were taught in that class. :mad:

What I also missed is information about discrimination, what is and isn't allowed, and what to do if you are discriminated against. The rule here is as a person being discriminated against you don't need physical proof to be able to lay a complaint with the people who look it up. I did not find this out until 4 years later -and went wtf. I guess they don't tell you because if everyone was reporting the discrimination that happens it would look a shitload worse than it does now.

Oh and I missed information about how they celebrate things like Easter and other such holidays here. Because it gets quirky (and my ignorance sometimes makes it highly amusing). Quirky enough that it took me over 6 years to realize what some of the weird quirky wtf symbolism is that they use for some celebrations. If you think rabbits delivering easter eggs is bad... well it can get weirder. I still make myself hot cross buns every year (60+ of them, by hand) Sometimes I stay up all night so my other half has fresh ones for work in the morning. I need to start gathering recipes. This year I'm going to try and make a bread-bunny *again*

 

So anyway one weird story to end my post.

I was going to the library once when I had been here a year or two. My language skills were mediocre. I saw someone drop a whole heap of books/dvds and being the nice kind person that I sometimes am, I stooped down, said in my broken language "let me help you". Oh my, that shocked "stuck-in-headlights" look that followed breaks my heart. I don't think I would have freaked that person out more than if I was holding a knife to her throat. It was that "shit I'm scared" look. I don't look scary, I'm short, sometimes smiling, apparently give off a friendly vibe*. I don't think I stick out too much in a crowd here (if you overlook the fact I'll be dressed for a season warmer). I wasn't being menacing or anything. But that reaction: the only thing I can think of that makes it make sense is that me being a foreigner freaked her out (sure it's possible that anyone would have received the same reaction, but I doubt it**). Said person hightailed it out of there on her bike, anxiously looking behind her. Dear lady - I never wanted to steal your library books.

 

*I'm the person you stop on the street to ask for directions. Usually I have spare free maps with me to give you to help you on your way - because I'm nice like that (and get stopped so frequently I found it worthwhile), and maps can be easier than saying "Go 3 blocks, turn a right just before maccas, walk until you hit the roundabout then take the left, you're looking for the big green building on your right down an alleyway."

Spoiler

** It is not the only time people have been friendly/smiling at me until I open my mouth and then do a 180 in their attitude. It may not be because I speak with a foreign accent, but it does seem slightly suspicious - especially when hearing discriminatory comments based on people's foreign background way too frequently. Maybe I'm just paranoid about it, I try not to be, who knows. I'm not about to detain someone to ask them why, that seems a bit risky/freaky

 

In case you didn't realize: I chose to come here, I'm mostly content with my choice. It's not a matter of "if you don't like it go home". Shit is never that simple, and I didn't write this because I hate it here. I wrote it because a thread on FJ triggered that last memory.

  • Upvote 3

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laPapessaGiovanna

Posted

I get that you don't want to say where you are, but you should know that curiosity is killing me ;) the fact that I am succeeding at imposing myself to not try even guessing is a true tribute to self control :lol: 

  • Upvote 2
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  • Posts

    • GreenBeans

      Posted

      1 hour ago, Maggie Mae said:

      I guess I'm just a little confused if we are talking about the same thing. Because a place with dedicated staff, display cases, and seating sounds like a bakery to me, more than a bake sale.

      No, it typically takes place in a church hall or gym or a cafeteria at school or a community center. It’s not a permanently set up bakery, but these kinds of locations typically have some tables and chairs in a back room to put out and a fridge in the back, sometimes even plates and cutlery and a dishwasher. The “staff” are just volunteers who come out for the day. So you have one person making coffee, one handing out cakes, one handling payments and one in the back to get new cakes from the fridge, cut them, bringt them out etc. It’s all very much improvised and nothing like a real cafe or bakery.

    • Mrs Ms

      Posted

      52 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

      They aren't completely wrong. Inflation IS making it hard for everyone. Wages aren't and haven't matched inflation in a long time.  However, economics is a complex topic and there are a thousand reasons why food, housing, and basic supplies are more expensive. [snip long paragraph of stuff no one cares about] 

      The "I truly don't know what we are going to do" is ridiculous. I have a suggestion. 

      Get. A. Job. 

      Like every other person who wasn't born into the 1% (and even they have jobs.) Plenty of people are struggling with mental and physical health and still go to work. Go sign up for a temp agency. There are tons of jobs that are just one or two days - company needs someone to catch up on filing. Company Y needs someone to sort out some boxes. Company Z needs someone to fill in and answer phones for a week. It's money that can help.  I can't see how someone who has experience with public speaking, can write coherently, and operate computers and basic software couldn't keep a job. I see people every day who don't email, can't figure out websites, don't know a browser from a bulldozer. Unemployment is at like 4%, everyone is having workforce shortages. We've hired so many terrible receptionists and had an administrative assistant who called out 25% of the time and we still worked with them. 

      So in the US, a bake sale is usually something put on by a group - like the French club wants to go to France, or the Band needs to raise money to get new uniforms, or a church group wants to raise money to send to a natural disaster type place.  They are low-key -usually, people donate some brownies or cookies, and it's just a couple of card tables in a hallway or on a sidewalk somewhere. They aren't going to buy glass display cases and set up a storefront. Maybe in areas wealthier than mine? 

      Not only is that a waste of money that they need to get to the fundraising goal, it also would open up a ton of liability and be against the law. Restaurants have to follow very specific laws - they pay $$ for their building, for commercial equipment. The employees go through either ServSafe or Food Handlers classes or both. 

      They have to carry certain types of insurance (commercial liability, liquor liability if they have a liquor license, music licensing if they have music, property insurance, car insurance if they have commercial vehicles, excess/umbrella, etc. ) They have to renew licenses and undergo extensive permitting.  They have to submit plans (all of which come with a fee), every time they change things.  Everything is inspected and regulated-  seating, business plans, outdoor seating, signage. It's extremely expensive to start a restaurant and I don't know why anyone would want to, the margins are so low. They require so many employees and there is so much overhead. 

      The bake sale where some kids sell each other cosmic brownies at lunch a few days a month is one thing, but setting up a permanent location where you ship orders, or operate what appears to be a bakery that skipped the legal process is another.  

      I guess I'm just a little confused if we are talking about the same thing. Because a place with dedicated staff, display cases, and seating sounds like a bakery to me, more than a bake sale.

      And more so than the unfairness of a charitable group being able to operate an unlicensed business at a lower cost than a business that invested heavily and paid for the right to be able to operate, we are talking about food and food safety. Which should be regulated because foodborne illness can kill people. 

       

      No, definitely talking about the same thing. Both the places I was involved with in Germany ran it like a cafe/sale hybrid during the school fairs or the open days and had space to store the cabinets during the rest of the year. Plus enough people to bake things and then have people staff it during the day. No clue how other places handled things.
      At my kids school here in NZ we do a similar cafe/bake sale hybrid in one of the classrooms for the school fair. The rest of the year, any of the classes wanting to raise extra money for camp or so do a straight bake sale just outside the staff room (which has a kitchen.) A parent or teacher will pre-cut any cakes or slices, a teacher will supervise the cash and the kids serve the baking. Covid has definitely made covering things and wearing masks more of a thing!
      As we are a food allergy family, it’s not my favourite, but it is super common here and would be front page news if someone got food poisoning anywhere in the country from one. 

    • Maggie Mae

      Posted

      5 hours ago, formerhsfundie said:

      "Fundraising is getting so much harder. I blame the price gouging that’s affecting everyone except the extremely rich. People can’t spare what they used to, because life is getting more expensive. Food, housing, and everything else is climbing up and up."

      "The poorest are hit hardest because of the greed of the richest. I truly don’t know what we are going to do. We need to move again because we can’t afford to stay in this area. Moving itself is expensive, too. We haven’t received any donations yet toward moving."

      And honestly I do think it’s because so many people are struggling more than ever. We just don’t have the “same $20 to share around” that we had even a couple of years ago. And that is scary.

      They aren't completely wrong. Inflation IS making it hard for everyone. Wages aren't and haven't matched inflation in a long time.  However, economics is a complex topic and there are a thousand reasons why food, housing, and basic supplies are more expensive. [snip long paragraph of stuff no one cares about] 

      The "I truly don't know what we are going to do" is ridiculous. I have a suggestion. 

      Get. A. Job. 

      Like every other person who wasn't born into the 1% (and even they have jobs.) Plenty of people are struggling with mental and physical health and still go to work. Go sign up for a temp agency. There are tons of jobs that are just one or two days - company needs someone to catch up on filing. Company Y needs someone to sort out some boxes. Company Z needs someone to fill in and answer phones for a week. It's money that can help.  I can't see how someone who has experience with public speaking, can write coherently, and operate computers and basic software couldn't keep a job. I see people every day who don't email, can't figure out websites, don't know a browser from a bulldozer. Unemployment is at like 4%, everyone is having workforce shortages. We've hired so many terrible receptionists and had an administrative assistant who called out 25% of the time and we still worked with them. 

      4 hours ago, Mrs Ms said:

      Any I have been to in Germany and New Zealand had one person handling the cash and other people serving. Plus power and hand washing facilities. Usually with a few tables and chairs right next to the sale area to sit and eat immediately. 
      Plus all the ones in Germany I saw had display cabinets for the products like in cafes. I think the ones in NZ usually had insect shields and/or see-through lids and weren’t right at the front edge of the table. 

      So in the US, a bake sale is usually something put on by a group - like the French club wants to go to France, or the Band needs to raise money to get new uniforms, or a church group wants to raise money to send to a natural disaster type place.  They are low-key -usually, people donate some brownies or cookies, and it's just a couple of card tables in a hallway or on a sidewalk somewhere. They aren't going to buy glass display cases and set up a storefront. Maybe in areas wealthier than mine? 

      Not only is that a waste of money that they need to get to the fundraising goal, it also would open up a ton of liability and be against the law. Restaurants have to follow very specific laws - they pay $$ for their building, for commercial equipment. The employees go through either ServSafe or Food Handlers classes or both. 

      They have to carry certain types of insurance (commercial liability, liquor liability if they have a liquor license, music licensing if they have music, property insurance, car insurance if they have commercial vehicles, excess/umbrella, etc. ) They have to renew licenses and undergo extensive permitting.  They have to submit plans (all of which come with a fee), every time they change things.  Everything is inspected and regulated-  seating, business plans, outdoor seating, signage. It's extremely expensive to start a restaurant and I don't know why anyone would want to, the margins are so low. They require so many employees and there is so much overhead. 

      The bake sale where some kids sell each other cosmic brownies at lunch a few days a month is one thing, but setting up a permanent location where you ship orders, or operate what appears to be a bakery that skipped the legal process is another.  

      I guess I'm just a little confused if we are talking about the same thing. Because a place with dedicated staff, display cases, and seating sounds like a bakery to me, more than a bake sale.

      And more so than the unfairness of a charitable group being able to operate an unlicensed business at a lower cost than a business that invested heavily and paid for the right to be able to operate, we are talking about food and food safety. Which should be regulated because foodborne illness can kill people. 

       

    • Maggie Mae

      Posted

      I hate open concept houses almost as much as I hate Abbie's cluttery "style." I hate that open concept became a trend and I feel like I've been screaming at clouds since like 2008 when it first started being "the trendy way." It seemed like at the time everyone wanted it so that they could see the TV from everywhere. But it's so impractical. Noise just bounces around. Ever go to a party at a house with just the big cavern with a kitchen in the corner? It get so noisy that people are shouting at each other. Vs a normal house, where people can go into other spaces to socialize in smaller groups - you can have some people in the kitchen, some in the living room, some in the family room. And it's just so frustrating when you need to find a way to close the kitchen to keep dogs and kids out. 

      I also think braggie's fridge is dumb. It comes with a pitcher for water. Great. I can buy a $35 pitcher with a filter and fill it in the sink and get the same result. 

      • I Agree 2
    • Giraffe

      Posted (edited)

      Their level of agressive entitlement is unreal. Too bad their fellow anti-work comrades aren't helping them out. 

      Edited by Giraffe
      • Upvote 3


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