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Looking For a Clue

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Oh Look, I'm Friends With A Grifter


clueliss

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So a couple of days ago, I look at my twitter feed and see a tweet from a specific friend.  Internet friend.  We have met once in real life.  At one point we were very close.  Things have happened and we've drifted apart.  Things happen.  Interests change.  Life happens.  In this case she fell into an obsession about the series Supernatural.  I'm not talking I love the show I can't miss it.  I'm talking she has built an entire twitter presence related tot he show and spends every fan convention weekend (you have NO idea how many of these are until you follow someone like this by the way) tweeting and retweeting stuff and posting links to YouTubes.  Now last weekend there was (SHOCK!) a fan con.  So my feed was rather polluted.  I skim through to see the stuff that is of valid interest (meaning not fan con stuff).   But on this day, after days of fan con drivel I see that she's talking about her computer starting to crap out and if someone has an extra they can throw her way she'd appreciate it.  

While I could chalk this up as a joke, I can't.  Because she's probably serious.  Worse, in my eyes, is that someone will probably take care of her.  I say this because I have watched people gift her with 'admission' to online access to see concerts given by some of the show's stars.  I've seen someone gift her with a t-shirt for a star's charity (meaning the gift giver bought the t shirt that was a donation to the charity and gave her the shirt) and then she spent days arranging for donators to help people who wanted a shirt and couldn't afford it.  Now my skeptical side looked at the who t shirt thing and thought 'how do any of you know if these people legitimately can't afford a shirt (charity was for mental health I believe) or if they are merely thinking - hey I can say I can't afford it and get a free shirt out of this.  

I will tell you, this particular friend is unemployed.  We lost our jobs in a similar time frame 6 years ago.  She went back to work before I did.   It was a temp job but it was a job.  I found permanent employment and moved to take the job (which is not an issue when you are internet friends).  Her aging parents both went through serious health crisis.  She lost the temp job.  She's struggled to find work.  She couldn't afford her apartment and moved in with her parents.  Lost custody of her daughters.  The parents moved and she wound up homeless for a while (she's back with her parents I think at this point).  However the permanent job thing has never quite come through.  While I realize that the economy is still rather in the tank in some places, I've reached a point where I have to wonder if she'd find a job if she put half the effort into find a job that she places into Twitter.  This is someone that I've been in a chat room with and more or less talked off a virtual ledge as she babbled about dying.  When the serious addiction to a tv show set in I had to abandon her.  I tried.  She is beyond my reaching at this point.  And her new friends on twitter feed this addiction.  

And then when you see her begging (grifting) for a computer and you've learned here to see the signs of grifting, it just makes it even more sad. 

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FundieFarmer

Posted

I have friends like that, and they're annoying as fuck. I'm sorry, I know how frustrating they are, especially because when other people feed the grift it makes the problem worse. 

It also makes me want to make them wear a giant sign that says "DON'T FEED THE GRIFT!". 

Gah!

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browncoatslytherin

Posted

it's hard having friends like this. i've also had my run of bad luck, job-wise, and that largely contributed to some mental health issues i started having. but after a certain period, i hit a point where i was like "enough is enough", begged my dad to move me out of western pa and close to a school i could go to, went to school, and went from there. you just have to reach that point, and unfortunately if there are people feeding into it and enabling her, she may never reach that point. jobs these days can be hit or miss, depending on factors like location and education level. but even moving to a smaller area, my fiance was able to pick up a job within a few weeks, with no college education to use as a plus. of course, it takes work...he was submitting a minimum of 10 applications a day and e-mailing/calling people almost constantly, but obviously it was well worth the effort. but if there is no fire lit under you, and you have no motivation to do better for yourself when you can, and people just enable you...it's a vicious cycle.

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violynn

Posted

I can attest that those Supernatural super fans are scary-obsessed.  I like the show, having watched it from the series start, but those 'fans' are wacko!  The money involved in going to the constant cons, the travel, creepy over fascination with the stars...  

I cannot imagine what all that costs, but it would be impossible to carry that out while employed or in college. I'm sorry you are having to watch this, it is always scary and frustrating seeing someone you care about having troubles and 'solving' them in such negative ways.

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  • Posts

    • FundianaJones

      Posted

      1 hour ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

      Did she actually post she forbid Ezra to go to college?  I don't recall seeing this.

      She has answered readers' questions about this before with variations of "If any of the children want to go to college, there will be hoops to jump through before we will even consider paying for it". And now there are a couple or three more kids, so it's even less likely that they will consider it for any of them. Even community college has associated costs. I think the children are well aware that college is simply not on the horizon for them.

       

      1 hour ago, theotherelise said:

      I think he is 100% dutiful child and following along with exactly what his parents want. I see zero evidence of him rebelling or even noticing that he is limited. I doubt he even looked at going to college. Until he truly wants something that his parents won't allow or gets more time out of his bubble, he looks ready to follow exactly what Abbie plans for him.

      Thanks for this perspective. I don't see him as rebelling either, really. I just think his apprenticeship with Shaun is his way of slowly inching towards some freedom (from his mother, but especially from having to parent five younger brothers) while keeping Braggie appeased. As to looking at going to college, I'm sure he has seen friends from his co-op starting down this road. They have had that opportunity. I can't believe he wouldn't at some point, however fleetingly, think "And why not me?"

    • Cam

      Posted (edited)

      Kendra’s mom looks to be one of those adults who retained her light blonde hair. To me, it does not look like it’s from a bottle. I have no problem with women coloring their hair, btw, as I’ve colored mine for decades. 
       

      I don’t know, tho. Looked at lots of other photos of Christine Caldwell online and she does seem to have different shades of the light blonde so maybe it’s dyed. 
       

      IMG_1068.jpeg

      Edited by Cam
    • hoipolloi

      Posted

      1 hour ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

      My hope is that Ezra will go on his own (run Ezra run), because he realizes he needs a degree to be taken seriously as an IT professional.

      Yes, the days of a well-paying, lifetime career in IT without a college degree or at least some post-secondary schooling are pretty much gone. Really hope that Ezra, and the other kids as they reach 18, can follow their dreams.

      This will never happen in TX but boy would I love to see a state law (like IL's) passed that regulated parent influencers. If they did, then Braggie's kids might have a leaving-home fund for college or whatever.

      • I Agree 1
    • keepercjr

      Posted

      On 4/27/2024 at 10:24 PM, HumbleJillyMuffin said:

      My thoughts exactly. They don't strike me as the type to be vigilant about a super clean kitchen and food safety. 

      They have never shown a picture of the kitchen or really even much of any other part of their apartment.  However, the few pics that show anything, show a cluttered and not clean space.  I can't imagine the kitchen is any better.  I don't think they spend any energy in keeping their place tidy and clean.  If they can't bathe, they sure aren't going to be cleaning. 

      8 hours ago, MargieB said:

      $5550.00 seems like a lot, especially with all the money they have asked for the last few years.   I cannot understand why people keep enabling them by sending them money.  They keep asking for more and more.  Their sense of entitlement is astonishing.

      $5500 doesn't include plane tickets or apartment costs (already covered by someone).  So that ask is strictly for the moving company, a vet visit to get sedating meds for the cats for the plane and updating their IDs.  The fundraiser has been up for a day and no donations yet.  I am sure they will get some but I think their supporters are tired of the constant asks.  They aren't going to raise the $.  I don't know if they have a plan B if not enough money is raised.  They can't have much stuff.  I think they have a nice bed but that's about it.  I would just have the bed moved, sell everything else and get new stuff (2nd hand or free obviously) after they move.  My parents had a tenant that moved across the country and left all their beautiful furniture because it was just too expensive to move it vs buying new stuff.  Getting a new couch, a kitchen table and a few other misc pieces will be cheaper than moving everything.

      One more thought.  Art baking pies to sell is good but is Ryann contributing in any way?  I know he is disabled and just had top surgery but Art should really try to include *something* that Ryann has done or will do.  Even if it is just "Ryann did our budget and then found us a really cute apartment complex we could afford.  He also researched veterinary practices in the area and found a low cost one for our cats".  Just Something!  I think Art carries all the physical and mental labor of this couple - at least that is the impression they give. 

    • Cam

      Posted (edited)

      Not sure the naturally blonde topic is weird as much as it’s confusing, for all the reasons stated by Jermajesty above. We have blondes in our family, white blondes, yellow blondes, dark blondes. (My biggest pet peeve of a description is “dishwater” blonde and I refuse to use it). I agree that a dark blonde can seem so much like a light brown, and yet I can distinguish a subtle, fairer color distinction in dark blondes.

      Here’s a few photos of Kendra. The first, her wedding photo, to me looks like she had some kind of rinse put in her hair to brighten it. 
       

      IMG_1065.jpeg


       

      In the next photo, it’s almost an hombre coloring, lighter on the bottom but could just be lightened hair growing out. 

      IMG_1067.webp

       

       

      Lastly, a photo that could have been taken with some kind of filter since everyone looks kind of smoothed out.

      IMG_1066.webp


       

      *The one thing that struck me with her childhood photo is how much she still looks exactly the same. But I don’t see her hair color as being all that changed as an adult.

      Edited by Cam


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