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You're A Mean One...


clueliss

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I am not really a Christmas person.  It might have helped had I had children.  Maybe even a spouse.  But with a sister (also single and childless) over a thousand miles away (and currently hiding under a rock or something) and a mother who now has a dementia diagnosis (put her in memory care back in June) the season is a giant ball of meh.  Oh I can fake it.  But over the last several years really I have chosen to stop faking it.  

For me, Christmas is the height of what I've long called the dark season.  So dubbed because of the lack of daylight.  Yes, I have a bit of seasonal issues which adds on top of depression.  And I'm an accountant.  And no, by busy season is not tax season from January through Mid-April.  Nope.  My busy season, since 2003 or so, is October through Mid-February.  I am a cost accountant. So by the time you load in physical inventory, budget weirdness (which gets a push starting in August), costing (which is where I live from Mid-October (nope, not a fan of Halloween either) through Christmas), Interim Audit (external), various internal audit issues, Year end closing, Year end audit and on and on you get a rather stressed out Liss.  

For those of you who know I am doing nanowrimo - the writing, although it is more work on top of a lot of work, uses a different part of my brain and helps me chill out a bit.  Besides i can always kill people in the novel.  

Yesterday the dreaded (by me) email announcing the office holiday potluck dinner was sent.  And it's is scheduled during November Month End closing when I am busy on top of busy.  I don't have time for this.  Furthermore a few years ago someone had the bright idea for everyone to contribute money and they would buy ham and turkey and someone would cook it and bring it in.  Only for whatever bizzaro reason last year the leftovers managed to go home with the folks that fixed said meats.  Never mind that it was expected that it would stay at work.  I may like you, but I don't really want to contribute to your household grocery funds.  

And I'll put it out there.  I hate food days, bring ins and potlucks.  I am proud to tell you that I am a third generation hater/disliker of these things because both my grandmother and mother are of the same inclination.  

I may want to do holiday baking etc.  Although in recent years that has been a big no.  But I don't like being told what day to do it and having to figure out what to bring and what I have time to do.  And don't pat me on the head and tell me I can buy something.  

 

And as long as I'm rambling about Christmas I stopped putting the tree up the year I realized it was almost valentine's day before I took it down because year end slammed us so hard that I didn't have the time or energy to do it before then.  I put up this tiny wire tree in the office.  Stick silk poinsettias in the office plant.  and that's it at work.  Last year not a single decoration made it out at home.  

So yup I'm a wee bit of a grinch and a scrooge.  

  • Upvote 4

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Kailash

Posted

One of the best parts of getting older for me, has been that if I don't want to do something, then I don't do it.  The only exceptions are things that are necessary for the health and well being of my friends, family, or pets. If Christmas isn't your thing (and that seems extremely reasonable to me), then it isn't.

  • Upvote 2
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Curious

Posted

My husband and I stopped celebrating Christmas a few years ago, other than cooking a nice meal.   We finally looked at each other and were like I have no freaking clue what to get you and decided that we didn't really NEED anything else and the stuff we did NEED would likely just be purchased when the need arose.

It's SO nice not struggling to figure out what to get/having to try and make a list of what I want, etc. 

Last year I was in a skilled nursing facility recovering from a huge spinal surgery and missed both Thanksgiving and Christmas as a result.   I did feel bad for my husband having to have both holidays in a hospital and SNF, respectively, but at least we were together.   They did feed him turkey at Thanksgiving.  I will still in the ICU then and have zero recollection of it.

:grinch:

  • Upvote 1
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clueliss

Posted

My mother, sister and I had stopped exchanging gifts.  Wait, let me rephrase that - exchanging money/gift cards.  I was the one who said, I'm not getting you anything.  Take the money you would have spent on me and get yourself something.  (Which worked until Mom started down the dementia path - we won't go there).  

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Maggie Mae

Posted

I like to play my 1/4 Jew card at Christmas. I just hate it. So much. Don't get me wrong, I remember growing up and it felt sort of exciting and fun. We did gingerbread contests and put up decorations and sang carols. But as I got older it just became so stressful. I'd go to school after the holiday and everyone would tell everyone else what they did and what they "got" in their gift hauls and I always felt woefully inadequate. And the worst was that it just got more consumer-centric as I got older, and my parents got poorer and I just started to hate that time of year. 

Now I'm at the point where I have everything I want/need that isn't specialized equipment I want to choose myself, and my parents are even more poor. They also don't want anything but want to send me stuff that I don't want and it always causes a fight. Over stuff. I hate stuff.  

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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

And I'll put it out there.  I hate food days, bring ins and potlucks.  I am proud to tell you that I am a third generation hater/disliker of these things because both my grandmother and mother are of the same inclination.  

I'm with ya, sister, and would like an invitation to join that club.  I have the palate of a spoiled toddler and an unrivaled skepticism about the cleanliness of other people's kitchens ever since seeing seemingly normal looking people on hoarders.  

On this subject can people get the heck over themselves when other people politely decline their food?  I have no problem with people bringing it in and announcing it's there for those who'd like something...but those who come to my desk and insist I will love something and get pouty when I nicely say no thank you try my patience.  Odds are I will NOT like it and of course that has more to do with my food weirdness than their cooking but I'd just as soon not discuss either.  

I refuse to claim allergies or some special diet because I don't want to contribute to the social dilution of that for those who actually have those...but my list of foods that are too gross for me to contemplate eating is thousands of pages long and if my mother couldn't talk me into eating things (and I loved her) why would a co-worker think they have a shot?

(but they want to drop off a box of thin mints, sealed and packaged, on my desk I am all too happy to accept such offerings.)

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clueliss

Posted

As a closet Big Brother fan I refer to some of my issues as 'pee pee hands.'  Do not expect me to partake of anything where people reach into a bowl, bag etc and grab stuff.  i do not know where your pee pee hands have and have not been.  ick. 

 

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clueliss

Posted

Someone came to me today to find out if I wanted 'in' on the office secret santa.  

 

I said thank you for coming all the way back to my office (no really - I meant that part, i get forgotten about back here) but no.  

And I ante'd up for the potluck thing in a couple of weeks.  (I draw the line at eating with people in the conference room.  I'm crying  - rightly - work!)  

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  • Posts

    • Mrs Ms

      Posted

      1 hour ago, Ozlsn said:

      And it probably won't leak!

      Or at least won’t need a technician to fix…

    • Ozlsn

      Posted

      2 hours ago, Maggie Mae said:

      I also think braggie's fridge is dumb. It comes with a pitcher for water. Great. I can buy a $35 pitcher with a filter and fill it in the sink and get the same result.

      And it probably won't leak!

    • GreenBeans

      Posted

      1 hour ago, Maggie Mae said:

      I guess I'm just a little confused if we are talking about the same thing. Because a place with dedicated staff, display cases, and seating sounds like a bakery to me, more than a bake sale.

      No, it typically takes place in a church hall or gym or a cafeteria at school or a community center. It’s not a permanently set up bakery, but these kinds of locations typically have some tables and chairs in a back room to put out and a fridge in the back, sometimes even plates and cutlery and a dishwasher. The “staff” are just volunteers who come out for the day. So you have one person making coffee, one handing out cakes, one handling payments and one in the back to get new cakes from the fridge, cut them, bringt them out etc. It’s all very much improvised and nothing like a real cafe or bakery.

      9 minutes ago, Mrs Ms said:

      but it is super common here and would be front page news if someone got food poisoning anywhere in the country from one. 

      Agree. I’ve never heard of food poisoning from a bake sale, ever. I know it makes sense to have all the hygiene regulations in place for professionally run businesses. But for charity bake sales, apparently they’ve been doing fine without those for decades here. It’s just not an issue.

    • Mrs Ms

      Posted

      52 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

      They aren't completely wrong. Inflation IS making it hard for everyone. Wages aren't and haven't matched inflation in a long time.  However, economics is a complex topic and there are a thousand reasons why food, housing, and basic supplies are more expensive. [snip long paragraph of stuff no one cares about] 

      The "I truly don't know what we are going to do" is ridiculous. I have a suggestion. 

      Get. A. Job. 

      Like every other person who wasn't born into the 1% (and even they have jobs.) Plenty of people are struggling with mental and physical health and still go to work. Go sign up for a temp agency. There are tons of jobs that are just one or two days - company needs someone to catch up on filing. Company Y needs someone to sort out some boxes. Company Z needs someone to fill in and answer phones for a week. It's money that can help.  I can't see how someone who has experience with public speaking, can write coherently, and operate computers and basic software couldn't keep a job. I see people every day who don't email, can't figure out websites, don't know a browser from a bulldozer. Unemployment is at like 4%, everyone is having workforce shortages. We've hired so many terrible receptionists and had an administrative assistant who called out 25% of the time and we still worked with them. 

      So in the US, a bake sale is usually something put on by a group - like the French club wants to go to France, or the Band needs to raise money to get new uniforms, or a church group wants to raise money to send to a natural disaster type place.  They are low-key -usually, people donate some brownies or cookies, and it's just a couple of card tables in a hallway or on a sidewalk somewhere. They aren't going to buy glass display cases and set up a storefront. Maybe in areas wealthier than mine? 

      Not only is that a waste of money that they need to get to the fundraising goal, it also would open up a ton of liability and be against the law. Restaurants have to follow very specific laws - they pay $$ for their building, for commercial equipment. The employees go through either ServSafe or Food Handlers classes or both. 

      They have to carry certain types of insurance (commercial liability, liquor liability if they have a liquor license, music licensing if they have music, property insurance, car insurance if they have commercial vehicles, excess/umbrella, etc. ) They have to renew licenses and undergo extensive permitting.  They have to submit plans (all of which come with a fee), every time they change things.  Everything is inspected and regulated-  seating, business plans, outdoor seating, signage. It's extremely expensive to start a restaurant and I don't know why anyone would want to, the margins are so low. They require so many employees and there is so much overhead. 

      The bake sale where some kids sell each other cosmic brownies at lunch a few days a month is one thing, but setting up a permanent location where you ship orders, or operate what appears to be a bakery that skipped the legal process is another.  

      I guess I'm just a little confused if we are talking about the same thing. Because a place with dedicated staff, display cases, and seating sounds like a bakery to me, more than a bake sale.

      And more so than the unfairness of a charitable group being able to operate an unlicensed business at a lower cost than a business that invested heavily and paid for the right to be able to operate, we are talking about food and food safety. Which should be regulated because foodborne illness can kill people. 

       

      No, definitely talking about the same thing. Both the places I was involved with in Germany ran it like a cafe/sale hybrid during the school fairs or the open days and had space to store the cabinets during the rest of the year. Plus enough people to bake things and then have people staff it during the day. No clue how other places handled things.
      At my kids school here in NZ we do a similar cafe/bake sale hybrid in one of the classrooms for the school fair. The rest of the year, any of the classes wanting to raise extra money for camp or so do a straight bake sale just outside the staff room (which has a kitchen.) A parent or teacher will pre-cut any cakes or slices, a teacher will supervise the cash and the kids serve the baking. Covid has definitely made covering things and wearing masks more of a thing!
      As we are a food allergy family, it’s not my favourite, but it is super common here and would be front page news if someone got food poisoning anywhere in the country from one. 

      • Upvote 1
      • I Agree 1
    • Maggie Mae

      Posted

      5 hours ago, formerhsfundie said:

      "Fundraising is getting so much harder. I blame the price gouging that’s affecting everyone except the extremely rich. People can’t spare what they used to, because life is getting more expensive. Food, housing, and everything else is climbing up and up."

      "The poorest are hit hardest because of the greed of the richest. I truly don’t know what we are going to do. We need to move again because we can’t afford to stay in this area. Moving itself is expensive, too. We haven’t received any donations yet toward moving."

      And honestly I do think it’s because so many people are struggling more than ever. We just don’t have the “same $20 to share around” that we had even a couple of years ago. And that is scary.

      They aren't completely wrong. Inflation IS making it hard for everyone. Wages aren't and haven't matched inflation in a long time.  However, economics is a complex topic and there are a thousand reasons why food, housing, and basic supplies are more expensive. [snip long paragraph of stuff no one cares about] 

      The "I truly don't know what we are going to do" is ridiculous. I have a suggestion. 

      Get. A. Job. 

      Like every other person who wasn't born into the 1% (and even they have jobs.) Plenty of people are struggling with mental and physical health and still go to work. Go sign up for a temp agency. There are tons of jobs that are just one or two days - company needs someone to catch up on filing. Company Y needs someone to sort out some boxes. Company Z needs someone to fill in and answer phones for a week. It's money that can help.  I can't see how someone who has experience with public speaking, can write coherently, and operate computers and basic software couldn't keep a job. I see people every day who don't email, can't figure out websites, don't know a browser from a bulldozer. Unemployment is at like 4%, everyone is having workforce shortages. We've hired so many terrible receptionists and had an administrative assistant who called out 25% of the time and we still worked with them. 

      4 hours ago, Mrs Ms said:

      Any I have been to in Germany and New Zealand had one person handling the cash and other people serving. Plus power and hand washing facilities. Usually with a few tables and chairs right next to the sale area to sit and eat immediately. 
      Plus all the ones in Germany I saw had display cabinets for the products like in cafes. I think the ones in NZ usually had insect shields and/or see-through lids and weren’t right at the front edge of the table. 

      So in the US, a bake sale is usually something put on by a group - like the French club wants to go to France, or the Band needs to raise money to get new uniforms, or a church group wants to raise money to send to a natural disaster type place.  They are low-key -usually, people donate some brownies or cookies, and it's just a couple of card tables in a hallway or on a sidewalk somewhere. They aren't going to buy glass display cases and set up a storefront. Maybe in areas wealthier than mine? 

      Not only is that a waste of money that they need to get to the fundraising goal, it also would open up a ton of liability and be against the law. Restaurants have to follow very specific laws - they pay $$ for their building, for commercial equipment. The employees go through either ServSafe or Food Handlers classes or both. 

      They have to carry certain types of insurance (commercial liability, liquor liability if they have a liquor license, music licensing if they have music, property insurance, car insurance if they have commercial vehicles, excess/umbrella, etc. ) They have to renew licenses and undergo extensive permitting.  They have to submit plans (all of which come with a fee), every time they change things.  Everything is inspected and regulated-  seating, business plans, outdoor seating, signage. It's extremely expensive to start a restaurant and I don't know why anyone would want to, the margins are so low. They require so many employees and there is so much overhead. 

      The bake sale where some kids sell each other cosmic brownies at lunch a few days a month is one thing, but setting up a permanent location where you ship orders, or operate what appears to be a bakery that skipped the legal process is another.  

      I guess I'm just a little confused if we are talking about the same thing. Because a place with dedicated staff, display cases, and seating sounds like a bakery to me, more than a bake sale.

      And more so than the unfairness of a charitable group being able to operate an unlicensed business at a lower cost than a business that invested heavily and paid for the right to be able to operate, we are talking about food and food safety. Which should be regulated because foodborne illness can kill people. 

       



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