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Confessions of a mom at Halloween...and KISS makeup?


HerNameIsBuffy

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My kids are young adults and long past filling up pillowcases and plastic pumpkins with candy, and since they know I talk to my imaginary friends online but don't know where I can unburden myself from sins of Halloweens past:

  1. I hated making costumes.  The pressure to be creative and not look like something was thrown together by a team of monkeys with a drinking problem made me cranky.  My mom won costume prizes for the handcrafted outfits she'd make my elder siblings...months of love and care went into those costumes.  She was divorced and working when I came of age to whore my cuteness out for candy so one year I got shoved in a box, covered in wrapping paper and went as a birthday present.  In retrospect maybe she should have figured out if kindergarten me would have been able to sit in a classroom chair or pee unassisted in said box.  Thanks for the childhood trauma, Mom.*  
  2. I hated taking them trick or treating when school age.  It was cute when they were toddlers and we'd hit two houses and take a ton of pics and be done with it.  But school age...they want to be out the whole time, there are zillions of other shrieking kids out there (not always a fan of other people's kids), parents I have to pretend to recognize since they clearly know me because people get offended when you have no idea who they are...frankly it was a lot of work for candy which was a good 60% crap anyway.
  3. I hate ringing doorbells.  I have dogs.  Those of you with family members of the canine persuasion who cannot contain their excitement at the sound of the doorbell know exactly which circle of hell I live in during trick or treat hours.  Those that have no idea how annoying this can be just be grateful you have escaped this temporal punishment as I have no words to describe it.
  4. I hated checking every piece for razor blades even though it was an urban legend I just knew the one piece I didn't check would be the piece to prove it true.  And I still felt guilty not going down to the hospital to get it x-rayed.

So there's a lot to hate for me with Halloween, no doubt.  But it's not all bad...

  1. I love candy.  I don't buy it because it's clearly become an idol...but if it's going to enter my house by the pound via pillowcases and plastic pumpkins I am going to embrace that.  And no, I do not feel guilty for stealing liberating a select quantity of Mounds, Almond Joy, Pixie Stix, Tootsie Pops, and Milk Duds.   Charms Blow Pops went immediately into Mommy secret stash.  I left them the Bazooka Bubblegum makes me sad and long for the days before I cared more about my dental work than it's bubblegummy goodness.  Yes, it's technically stealing from small children...okay.  But in a larger sense it's rendering unto Cesar what is Cesar, or in this case me, which is actually a very small fee for having pushed their giant heads into this world and all the work involved in raising them not to mention stifling my eye rolling during trick or treating itself.  They got off cheap.  
  2. I love little ones in costume - I will never not smile at a tiny Batman or Ballerina...anything adorable just melts my heart.  
  3. Ditto pets in costume!  If they look unhappy I don't enjoy it and stink eye their owners, but the little dogs running around in fancy pants outfits for the occasion just loving life?  I am delighted and jealous...because when you try to outfit my dogs in anything they lie there giving you the side eye like you're Kris Kardashian selling them out to the public.  My dogs have a stronger sense of personal dignity than any Kardashian offspring*
  4. The coolest house to hit in our old neighborhood was the guy who gave out full sized Snickers bars taped to toothbrushes.  Dr. Neighbor, DDS was all about indulge, then brush.  I don't even eat Snickers, just thought the full sized bar was awesome and usually stolen by my mom or one of my siblings before I had my bag emptied.  I always got to keep the toothbrush, though.

*Like this...you just can't make him wear a jaunty hat when he's looks so ashamed.

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To help improve the experience for all here are a couple of holiday tips from your friendly neighborhood curmudgeon:

  1. Do not give away dum-dum suckers.  They aren't candy -  they are 90% cardboard.  
  2. Religious people with the tracts - tape some candy to it if you want them to throw them away at home rather than leave them crumpled on your front lawn.  And no one in the history of time has been converted by a lunatic subverting Halloween with a candy-free option.  Know your audience. 
  3. Smarties seem like the crappy throw away candy, but you're wrong.  Here's a recipe:  Pour all smarties into a a freezer bag, then double bag it to prevent tears.  Smash the crap out of it with a rolling pin until all are a super fine powder...pour into a dixie cut and voila!  Pixie Stix without the straw.  Good anytime you need a little jolt of happiness.  (food processors don't work as well due to the size of the smarties - rolling pin is faster and more effective.)
  4. The fireproof safe is an excellent place to hide candy stolen acquired from suspicious children.

*You'd think this would have spurred me on to be the costume master for my own kids, but no.  Case in point my daughter has to dress up for work tomorrow and was asking for help in deciding what to be.  I told her to go as Buffy the Vampire Slayer since she has similar hair to season 1 Buffy and a similar look and she could wear her regular clothes.  I was told I lacked imagination.  I diagree...I think it's very creative to find a way to meet the requirement with zero effort.  Kids, what do they know.  Although she reminded me of the time I had one of the boys put on a brown leather jacket and go as Angel.  It was a good idea then, too...he was too old to be trick or treating and helping me out with the little one.  It worked.  

My other suggestion was that she go as "surprised."  That's a good costume and no prep required.  When someone asks her what she is she just needs to do this...

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And what is Halloween without surprises?  Here's something you don't know about me...I am very good at applying KISS Make-Up.  I can't get consent to post from faux Peter Criss or Ace Frehley, but here are a couple examples of my Gene Simmons (no , no one was Paul...who wants to be Paul?)  These may or may not be people I know; for all you know I accost random strangers with KISS make-up and then they consent for me to post it on my blog (that they laugh at and don't believe exists.)

Hiding them because I know some people recoil at KISS make-up as it's too much like clown faces...if I could have spoiler tagged my bedroom as a kid my sister would have been a lot happier.

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And what would a Halloween blog post be without a snuggly black cat.  Loves!  If you need spoiler tags for cuteness you have issues.

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halcionne

Posted

Hey, I like dum dums, especially the mystery flavor.

~ducks, twice~

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  • Posts

    • Xan

      Posted

      The egg apron is a deal breaker for me.  That was just an insult.  "You think you deserve a gift?  I'll show you your place!"

      And I'm a little bit tired of the social media scolds.  If they didn't put their lives on the internet, we wouldn't have opinions.  They did so we do.  If most of us think that he's a bully, he probably is.  I guess it's another case of the husband being so full of himself that he was sure the interview would show him in a good light.  It didn't.

      • Upvote 1
    • Xan

      Posted

      I always find these Trump fantasy worlds very bizarre.  He's never in a nice suit meeting a world leader or even in a fireman's suit saving a child from a burning building.  It's always some fake macho outfit and, in this case, driving a car with a Confederate flag on it.  Their heroes don't seem that heroic.

    • JDuggs

      Posted

      On 12/22/2023 at 11:51 PM, JDuggs said:

      It looks like Micah is in a relationship, or very good friends, with this Florida realtor Veronica Peters. I’ve seen photos of them together on Micah’s IG, but I always thought she kind of looked too old for him. Maybe not.

      This was on Moriah’s IG:

        Hide contents

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      And this was on Veronica’s personal IG and professional IG:

        Hide contents

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        Hide contentsimage.thumb.png.bfaa9a4a2ac77388067acef5c5afb81c.png

       

      Quoting myself from six months ago. I think this really is Micah’s girlfriend. She doesn’t seem quite as public about their relationship as she did back then.

      This photo of Veronica didn’t get copied over from my old post.

      Spoiler

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      • Upvote 1
    • JermajestyDuggar

      Posted

      There was a post on social media talking about this recent interview with Ballerina Farm and asking what people think about some of the things in it. So many commenters were like, “it’s her business! It’s not your life so why do you care?” This is the type of thing that bugs me to no end. Ballerina Farm posts their lives willingly! They post their children’s lives! Of course people will speculate and care! If they didn’t put their lives all over social media none of us would know anything about them. 

      • Upvote 1
    • LongTimeLurkerOG

      Posted

      On 7/25/2024 at 6:47 PM, LilMissMetaphor said:

      Just FYI in case someone missed it the first time round, this is what Art wrote on Reddit a year ago addressing some of the concerns that were brought up.  It's very telling if you read between some of the lines.

      "I don’t lie or make fraudulent claims to get money. That’s what a grifter is. I’ve closed all previous fundraisers and not all of them were successfully funded – for instance my legal name change and wedding fund did not get funded, so I still haven’t had a chance to do those things.

      I’m unable to work for a variety of medically supported reasons. It’s not okay to ask disabled people for proof of their disability simply because it’s medical information. To entertain the question is to concede that it’s okay to go ask other disabled people for their private medical history. It’s a common misconception that people pretend to be disabled for benefits or monetary gain, but it’s rare and doesn’t really make sense to do because benefits and fundraising add up to so little.

      I have been going to Seattle to look at possible places to live because it’s literally unavoidable, and I’ve been in severe pain because of it. That doesn’t mean I could do manual labor on a consistent basis. I don’t even drive, so I’ve had to cover gas and ask friends for help with rides.

      Have you ever tried working at a call center? I have. They’re severely strict and demanding, and incredibly demoralizing without paying much. They’re not an accessible alternative for people who can’t do more demanding manual labor. “Get a job like the rest of us” is ableist and is a fundamental misunderstanding of how accessible jobs are. It’s no better than yelling it at someone panhandling on the street. The supposedly “easy” or “low-skill” jobs are still difficult to do.

      I do use what resources I can, but it’s a total myth that there’s a robust social welfare system anywhere in the United States. If there was, we wouldn’t have so many hundreds of thousands of homeless people here, with millions more just a few missed paychecks away from joining them.

      The toxic mold was confirmed. My partner is literally terminally ill from it. If you read the actual updates, the name of the illness and the research surrounding it have been detailed. We have a letter from the pulmonologist that we sent to the landlord explaining that the environment my partner was in was causing the illness. Again, you’re demanding medical proof that you have no reason to ask about. Some things can’t just be washed out.

      I am as clear as I can possibly be about specific needs so that people know what they’re helping to support. I have said again and again that people shouldn’t give unless they can spare it and want to help. I even said that in the post linked to in this comment thread. My patreon is explicitly to support my writing.

      So why am I still fundraising and making money off telling my story? Because I literally have no other real options. I’ve been formally diagnosed with PTSD, it’s not “alleged trauma.” If it was working all that well, I wouldn’t have to keep detailing my needs.

      The real grifters in our society are billionaires, not poor disabled people. You sound like you just hate us for trying to exist."

      I remember reading this before. Well, they can take all their reasons and Stop. Grifting. Plenty of people with disabilities work and /or receive assistance (as I mentioned previously, my exPOS, who has disabilities so I'm familiar with a number of options and money). Some family, have / had disabilities. I've been an advocate for services and staff training (and provided training) for Years with previous positions - because it matters to me. So, yea, Artemis get. a. job. 

      57 minutes ago, Ozlsn said:

      Art lists manual labour and call centres. And that's it. Not any jobs they could look at involving writing, from editing to writing student essays for money (yes it's dodgy but people do it). Not even playing video games for money (get character to a level where they have cool stuff for someone.)  Nothing about remote work, which there is more of now, and not even entry level white collar work.

      On the one hand I agree with them that the social support is inadequate, and that detailing your medical needs shouldn't have to happen - but they just grifted nearly $5000 to move and for a holiday, and with the amount of effort that took they probably could have held down employment of some description and to be honest would probably be better off.

      So many WFH/remote legit jobs now. Hell, you can play games on your phone and earn gift cards; donate blood and get gift cards. I knew a homeless couple that donated plasma for higher amount g.c.

      Absolutely! The amount of money; it's disgusting. And that amount of effort... At some point, even we don't want to or circumstances we don't want to deal with and adult, because... We're adults! Plenty of things I want to ignore or not deal with, just have go away but persevere because the alternative... not an option.

      2 hours ago, Bookworm1564 said:

      My all-time favourite Art post is the one where they say “Just for today, you can double the impact of your support with this opportunity” as if this was the moment we were all waiting for.

      Like a sale for limited-time-only 🤣



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