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Week #1 February 2-8, 2013 Winner - Thoughtful





Congratulations Thoughtful

Thoughtful's post was nominated by: bettertomarry, Gertie and Rowan


You seem very focused on the sex act (which is not uncommon for someone who has been raised to believe that being gay is a sin).

Think about this -- the big picture of people being attracted to one another, getting together, and making a life, is based on a lot more than just sex. Whatever you feel for the gender you prefer, and the individual you love, is part of being human, and I assume it includes romantic feeling, respect, comfort, and a million other things more subtle than lust. Why would that be different for people who happen to be gay?

Now, try this. Think about heterosexual couples around you -- your friends, parents, cousins, etc. Are you focused on how they have sex? Is that how you define their relationship?

I would imagine that, when thinking of them as a couple, you see how they work together, love one another, sometimes don't get along, do the dishes, see movies, raise kids, etc. Not to mention just seeing each individual in that couple as a person.

Why would you focus on the sex act when thinking about gay couples, any more than you do with straight couples?

You mentioned AIDS. AIDS is an illness. By sheer coincidence, it was first noticed in gay men and drug users in the US, so many people thought of it as an illness spread by those people. But it can be spread by anyone.

We don't think that way about other infectious diseases. I just had a conversation with a parent who told me that just about every child who went to a particular birthday party last weekend came down with the same respiratory bug. Nobody tsk-tsks about those evil children spreading disease through their wild partying, or assumes the illness can only be caught by children or by eating birthday cake.

If you are determined to get beyond this bias, you will. There is no logic in it, if you genuinely see gay people as human.

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