So yeah, apparently this is the season finale. That surprises me - everyone knows that a civilized American series has thirteen. (A British series is automatically civilized, and a Scandinavian series doesn't care.) Anyway, this has been a weird, disjointed series of episodes, and I'm wondering if this finale will bring it into better cohesion. Knowing Dunham's usual style, probably not. At the very least, seeing as this episode's title heavily implies that Adam's sister will be present, we are likely to have some quality Adam Driver time. Gotta take what you can get, you know.

(Incidentally, I got in trouble tonight for pointing out that Mad Men, this show's replacement on Worldly Distractions, premieres on Easter Sunday, and possibly implying that it was "bigger than Jesus". I stand by my statement.)

Hannah runs outside, clearly upset about something. She tells Fran that she thinks she's having a panic attack. (Yes, somehow she has still managed to hold on to that teaching job.) Actually, she has learned a bit about boundaries. A bit. Okay, not at all. But she is determined to breathe a bit and then go up. Even Fran has some grudging admiration for her - and is it just me, or is there a bit of reconciliation in the air?

Shosh has finally managed another job interview, feeding off her energy from Ray's successful campaign. The company has some kind of partnership in Japan, and guess what? She'll have to move to Tokyo! Shosh is understandably a little surprised, and I smell a rat, especially when the interviewer describes Japanese as "super easy to get the hang of." Despite not having been there herself.

For the somewhat finicky Shoshana, I can imagine that moving to a completely different country with little to no knowledge of its language or culture would be quite the ordeal. They give her a deadline until Wednesday to decide, so they know when to fire the bipolar woman she's replacing.

Hannah shows up at the titular Home Birth, because Caroline inexplicably invited her. Geez, if I knew this crew and I was having a baby, I'd have them tied up and put in a cage just so they wouldn't come. Hannah is encouraged to take off her shoes like a proper hippie. We get to see all of Caroline, hanging out in the bathtub. It goes without saying that all of this is unassisted as fuck. Hannah manages to keep it together for about five seconds and is about to book it out of there, but Caroline encourages her to stay. Of course, she can't keep from commenting on the home birth thing, especially when Laird mentions that it's a month and a half early WHAT WHAT WAS THAT WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU DUMBASSES.

Speaking of idiots, Marnie and Desi announce their engagement to a record company exec, who feigns interest. He's going through an awkward divorce himself, which is a glimpse into Desi's future. He also inexplicably loves their music. They happened to meet at Ray's coffee shop, so Ray gets to witness the whole thing, then get ordered around by Desi the Clod. Desi also chooses this moment to ask him if they're "simpatico". Oh boy. Ray unwisely tells his customer that he hates him. Desi thinks it's because they come from different parts of the world (er, America). Ray chews him out for being an untalented douche using the engagement to keep a woman he's too selfish to love properly. It's beautiful.

Desi suggests "putting their hearts together" (no, really), but it's no good, because Ray is convinced he doesn't deserve Marnie. Oh my god, Ray, give it up. YOU deserve someone eight million times better than Marnie.

Meanwhile, Shoshana goes for lunch with Scott, who seems like a perfectly okay boyfriend, but not worth staying in New York for. He begs her not to take it, and instead join him in his soup empire (and apartment). See, my reaction to that would be something along these lines:

Shoshana doesn't go quite that far, but she's definitely stunned. His answer: I'm gonna be in love with you soon.

Wait, what?

WHAT?

Meanwhile, Hannah keeps trying to convince Laird that an unassisted premature birth in a filthy apartment may not be the best idea. Adam arrives on the scene, immediately making things awkward. I'd like to think he has enough sense to put her on a damn ambulance, but knowing Adam, he'll think it's cool and out of the box and stuff.

And fortunately Adam defies expectations with a well-placed "What the fuck are you doing?", calling the whole thing dumb. Caroline begs them not to be "Western" in their outlook. Laird maintains that the situation is under control. Caroline drones on about being natural, which I'm sure you've all heard from that one friend who hasn't taken a shower since 1996, so I'll move on. Laird recounts a Tom and Jerry episode that probably never happened.  Yup, definitely under control.

Shosh goes looking for Ray, running into his boss at the coffee shop. Apparently he's busy with political stuff. Also, Ray's boss can't fathom why having a job offer in Japan is a problem. She goes on about her relationship-that-isn't. He suggests that she "be the walker, not the dog", and to "lean in" about it (apparently he's a Sandberg fan, too). Shoshana dubs him strange and wise.

Jessa shows up at the Dubious Home Birth, and is mostly curious about observing Caroline's pussy. Adam is eternally grossed out, as this is his sister they're talking about. Laird arrives to inform them that something's wrong. Adam wants to call an ambulance, but Laird refuses, because birth plans trump reality. Jessa declares them all pussies and barges in to the bathroom. Jessa sticks her head in the bathwater to see, and discovers that the baby's a footling breech. Caroline still insists on staying at home, and accuses Laird of being part of Big Pharma. Enjoy dying in that bathtub, lady. Just like cavemen!

While Laird cries, Jessa barks sarcastic orders to everyone. She leaves the couple alone so that Laird can coax his partner out of the tub. Caroline's response is to tell him to eat shit. Meanwhile, Desi ditches Marnie at an important sound check, pissing off the execs. No one cares. By this point, Marnie's in tears and Ray shows up for some reason. The exec wonders if he's dead. Ray suggests that Marnie sing solo. At first she balks, but then her insatiable need for attention wins out.

Laird gets Caroline out of the tub, but not before being called a "baby-murdering cunt monster" by his lovely partner. For some reason, Hannah thinks it's a great idea to walk to the hospital even though Caroline has a baby's leg sticking out of her. The four of them wind up carrying her there, stunning even world-weary New Yorkers passing by.

Marnie sings her dumb song, which actually goes pretty well. Caroline gives birth to a girl, Jessa-Hannah Bluebell Poem Schlessinger-Sackler. No, really. Everyone's overcome with happiness about the new baby. Jessa announces that she wants to become a therapist, Shoshana tells her that she's moving to Japan. Jessa assumes it is to become a geisha. After the show, Ray assures Marnie that she did a good job. However, things are cold between them.

Hannah and Adam visit Jessa-Hannah in her incubator. While Hannah coos over the baby, Adam admits that he and Mimi-Rose have split. On reflection, he realizes that he never really knew her. He asks Hannah if she wants to try again. And she REFUSES, ladies and gentlemen.

Yes, finally this series is going somewhere. Though they'll probably hook up in Season 5 anyway, so don't hold your breath. (No way they'll kick out Adam Driver, unless the new Star Wars takes up more time than I thought.)

Hannah calls her mother to tell her about the birth. Loreen is still bitter and shattered, telling Hannah that at least she had a future. She begs her daughter not to repeat the same old things in life. Hannah asks to talk to her dad, and as they greet each other, we flash forward six months. Hannah and Fran have become involved.

So, as a wrap up to the season, it worked well. Each character was revisited and put on the proverbial train to the next part of their lives. It was certainly an episode of growth for Shosh, Jessa and Hannah (saying no to Adam!). Perhaps Marnie, too, if she ever manages to unhitch herself from the Desi Train to Nowhere. So what comes next? I guess we'll find out next year. ã¾ãŸè¿‘ã„ã†ã¡ã«ãŠä¼šã„ã—ã¾ã—ょã†!

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