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Trynn's Parodies

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The Doodys Go Caroling (Carroling? Carrolling?)


Trynn

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Jane shivered. She turned up the setting on her electric blanket as Maude aimed a blowdryer at the window. She was covering them with plastic for the winter, which was a pain in the ass to do. Alexa, having already helped her grandmother attach the plastic to the windows, was boiling water on the stove for hot chocolate and Kahlua.

All of a sudden, the doorbell rang. Grandma Maude glanced out the window at the swiftly falling snow. "Who on earth is out on a day like this?"

"The mailman?" Jane asked. "I know Alexa's been expecting a package."

"I have," said Alexa. "And it's somewhat expensive, so I asked the post man to require a signature."

"Again? How many Christmas presents is that you've bought yourself? 5?"

"No, grandma. I bought myself three Christmas presents. The other 3 are birthday presents." Alexa threw open the door and said, "I'm so glad you're here!"

Unfortunately, Alexa was not looking at the UPS man. She was staring at the bundled up Doodys.

At least, Alexa thought they were the Doodys. They were the only people she knew who would be insane enough to wear long denim skirts over their snowpants.

"We Wish you a Merry Christmas...." Sang The Doodys. Alexa grabbed the dog, who was making a beeline for the open door. She hugged the dog close to her chest, as if trying to absorb her body heat. Alexa was so shocked the Doodys were singing something secular that she forgot to note that their voices were off key, and that some of them weren't even bothering to sing at the same speed.

Alexa hadn't noticed her grandma leave, but she must have, because when Maude came back she had on a thick winter coat. Jane refused to get out from under the electric blanket. She pulled it over her head and groaned. "Close the door, it's freezing!"

No one heard her, and neither Maude nor Alexa felt like standing out on the porch listening to the Doodys sing. So they stood there, letting the heat escape.

"How nice!" Maude exclaimed forcefully when the Doodys had finished the song. She was desperately hoping the Doodys weren't going to try and sing another one. "Would you like something hot to drink?"

"No thank you," said Howdy Doody, and Maude was glad he was wearing a facewarmer, because she didn't want to see the robotic look on his face.

"Well, then, thank you for singing. Have a nice day." Maude started to shut the door.

"But--" said one of the children. Maude hesitated. That was her mistake. The Doodys began to sing Silent Night.

"It's too cold!" Maude shouted. She slammed the door. She'd already sat through one song and besides, the cats were starting to act like they were thinking of escaping out the open door. Maude could hear the family still singing, but she didn't care. "What are the Doodys thinking?!" She exclaimed. "What's the temperature?"

"--20, grandma," Alexa said, checking her watch.

"What's that in American, honey?" Maude snapped. She was in no mood for Alexa's metric bullshit. 

"Uh, in Fahrenheit that would be...." Alexa googled. "-5."

"Well, that's not as bad as I thought, but still! With this windchill, it feels much colder than that!"

Jane poked her head out of the blanket. "Is that hot chocolate done yet?"

"No." Said Grandma Maude.  "I turned off the stove when the Doodys showed up. In case they thought they were gonna be here a while."

"But grandma," Alexa said, gently putting the squirming puppy on the floor. "That could have been an excuse to--"

"I don't need an excuse," said grandma Maude, taking off her coat and draping over a nearby chair. "It's simply too cold to stand on the porch and listen to them caterwaul. I mean, sing."

Alexa turned the stove back on.

"Besides," said grandma Maude. "I needed to give them a piece of my mind, and I didn't want the house to catch fire."

"I'm glad you did," growled Jane. "They're so inconsiderate!"

"They're wearing coats and snowpants," said Alexa, handing Jane a steaming cup of hot cocoa.

"Ow!" Jane winced.

"Oh, by the way, it's freezing cold. Straight out of the freezer, I pulled it."

"That joke hasn't been funny since the first time my mom said it. When we were 2!"

"Who do you think she got it from?" Asked Grandma Maude, attacking the window plastic with a hair dryer. "Damn!" Maude had accidentally put a large hole in the plastic. She threw down the hair dyer in disgust.

"Time for new windows?" Asked Alexa. "You can ask your good friends The Doodys to help you install them. They'll be glad to help you, since you're a 'widow' and all."

Grandma Maude glared before she burst out laughing. "They are hilarious, aren't they?"

"Sure,"Jane said sarcastically. "We'll look on this and laugh. If we ever move to Florida!"

 

I don't really know where I am going with this. This just kind of ends because I ran out of idea. I need to think of maybe other ways this could go... and or a conclusion.

 

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  • Posts

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      • Upvote 1
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