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Trynn's Parodies

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Trynn Cleans Ceiling Fans


Trynn

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I have been rebuked by a fellow FJer for doing the cleaning post wrong. So, here's an attempt at doing it right.

Today was the day of the week where my job makes us clean the ceiling fans. My boss took the initiative, telling me I'd better get off my cell phone and do some actual work if I was interested in getting paid. I purposed in my heart that I would dust the ceiling fans.

While I went to the office to flip the switch that would turn on the fans, I thought about death. Would death be preferable to cleaning ceiling fans? If I fell off the ladder and broke my neck, did I know where I was going? What would happen if I fell of the ladder and broke my ankle? I would just have to trust in the lord that everything would be ok.

I purposed in my heart to be brave, and prayed that God would give me the courage to climb that ladder, for lo, I do not like heights.

I took the long handled dust mop, climbed the ladder, and wiped the blades with the dust mop. Since we clean our ceiling fans for Jesus every week, there wasn't much dust to begin with, and I forgot to take pictures. The before and after ones would have looked the same anyway, since everything here gets cleaned all the time. 

After getting off that really high really scary ladder, I spent all the rest of the day praying for forgiveness for all my sins. Praise the Lord.

 

There, was that better? Sort of? I really do hate that stupid ladder, but I exaggerated exactly how much it freaks me out. Well....sort of.....

 

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  • Posts

    • 3splenty

      Posted

      What would they do if someone showed up at their place with a laundry basket, broom, and dustpan?

    • Smee

      Posted

      12 hours ago, Giraffe said:

      I was thinking this after the latest post. I wonder how many of their "patients" are still alive one year after their "treatment." I'd also like to know how many people begin actual medical treatment after leaving there. Eta my guess is not many. If they're deep enough into the woo to go there in the first place* they may dig their heals in further upon leaving. 
       

      *and wealthy enough. Even if they fundraise and sell everything they can to go down there there's still some degree of financial ability to do it. (On that note I wonder how many "patients" or their families come back to the states destitute. 

      Someone posted a link about this way upthread somewhere - a youtube guy who went searching to see how many patients who had started GoFundMes had evidence of being alive or deceased a couple of years post treatment. The stats were pretty much what you'd expect

    • GreenBeans

      Posted

      6 hours ago, Giraffe said:

      I find it strange having a name theme. I'm used to John and Jane happen to start with the same letter and since they stopped at two they technically had a "theme" but only because those were the names they liked. It wasn't some "we have to come up with a name we like that fits the theme." Maybe it's just me but I find it weird that so many second gen Kellers have an intentional theme. (Outside of bible names or something. Eta so I guess I'm used to "bible names" being a theme.  But starting with the same letter is weird to me)

      I think the whole idea of a “name theme” is kind of foreign to me. The biggest family I know personally have 3 kids. More than 3 is really uncommon here. Parents will usually gravitate towards somewhat similar types of names (in terms of social background connotations, modern vs. traditional, similar “vibe”), but I’ve never heard of anyone with a naming theme outside of FJ.

    • Giraffe

      Posted

      1 hour ago, Mrs Ms said:

      Honestly, they could actually be working and still grifting for extra cash. We obviously can’t expect honesty or true transparency from them!

      I would almost be proud of them if they were pulling this off. 

      • Upvote 1
      • I Agree 1
    • Mrs Ms

      Posted

      We have such an obscure naming theme that I’m not sure if my partner even noticed I did it! The obvious one is that all of us have names that are technically biblical, but so common that people don’t automatically associate it. The other 2 things with my kids nobody has ever picked up on.

      • Upvote 1


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