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Divorce - - not just a Tammy Wynette song


HerNameIsBuffy

1,930 views

There won't be anything juicy to blog because he's a good person and we all know I'm delightful...not everything is forever.  He's fine, I'm fine and once the process is over I can get on with the business of living with the shame of my second failure at this marriage thing.

 

 

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  • Upvote 27

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clueliss

Posted

The like is in moral support.

I wondered about you earlier this morning.  And then sigh when I see this post because it probably meant the 6th sense was picking up a disturbance in the force. 

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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

Thanks @clueliss .  I really am okay, there is comfort in knowing its best for both of us - there is no victor and victim jist two people who really tried and want to stop hurting each other.

 

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MarblesMom

Posted

I thought you had been quiet and I wondered what was up.  Sorry to hear this news... never an easy process.  Hugs and positive thoughts headed your way.

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Elvis Presby

Posted

Sorry to hear this.  Glad you both are both doing well.

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Fascinated

Posted

I'm sorry to hear this too, @HerNameIsBuffy, although it sounds like it's the right course of action for you both.  I hope the process is as pain-free as possible. We FJers are with you when and if you ever need us. 

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Maggie Mae

Posted

Everyone else said everything already. I'm sorry to hear that, it sounds like you are handling it well, @HerNameIsBuffy and I hope the legal process goes smoothly and quickly. 

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apandaaries

Posted (edited)

Oh, man, Buffy!  I was wondering where you were and what you were up to.  I'm sorry to hear this, but I'd also like to offer my congratulations on moving away from an unhappy marriage.  I've got one divorce under my belt and a heartfelt belief that divorce is the best thing for people involved in a marriage that isn't working.  I hope all goes as well as possible for you and your family.  

Edited by amandaaries
  • Upvote 9
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:( sorry to hear this, buffy, and hoping the process is not too painful.

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EmainMacha

Posted

As with @clueliss my like is a support like. And also in understanding of the guilt meme. No matter how right the decision the glorious Catholic guilt will linger in the background:( I hope all goes as painfree as possible. Hugs!

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WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?

Posted

I'm really sorry to hear this, but I'm glad that you're both trying to do what's best for you both. I'm not Catholic, but I get the guilt thing. Hug? :romance-grouphug: You'll be in my thoughts. 

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Grimalkin

Posted

I am sorry to hear this Buffy. I hope this  goes painlessly as possible for you.

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Grimalkin

Posted

I'm still convinced that this is you

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     So darling, take it easy, don't forget to smell the roses.

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paulypepper

Posted

Sorry to hear Buff, but I'm sure you know we all love you!  :bigheart:

  • Upvote 4
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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

I really love you guys.  We've been in 100% agreement from the start on the financial stuff and actual stuff, both have decent jobs, and since we finally made the decision a while ago the negative undercurrent of living in a state of limbo is gone....replaced by this sadness mixed with real peace for the first time in a long time.  

Regret and Hope wrestle for my headspace a lot and for the most part Hope is winning.  Except when Fear shows up for a couple of rounds and he kicks everyone's ass.

Just a question of filing the last of the financial papers this week and getting a court date.  Should be finalized in 30-40 days depending on how open the docket is.

Have to say this is a lot different than my first go round with divorce.  Very bad marriage, very angry ex-husband who couldn't accept the divorce, three small kids, no job/no job history/never lived alone/no safety net since my folks had died years earlier.  

i didn't want to make the same mistakes the second time and I didn't, I made a whole new set of mistakes which has to be some kind of record.

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Hugs and I'm sorry. It sucks. But it sounds like you are having the least awful of divorces.

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Imrlgoddess

Posted

*squish*

no matter the context, it's never easy, but I am glad it's not a horrid, drawn out event for you.  :my_heart:

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ADoyle90815

Posted

I'm sorry you're going through this, and at least this one won't be a long, drawn out event like the first one. In fact, the first divorce reminds me of my divorce, but I had to get a restraining order against my ex, it was that bad.

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  • Posts

    • 47of74

      Posted

      On 3/7/2024 at 1:30 PM, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

      I was curious about the fellow inmate Creech was convicted of murdering in 1981, the murder for which he received this death sentence. (His previous death sentence for 2 murders in 1974 was reduced to life in prison, because of a 1979 supreme court ruling about the unconstitutional nature of the Idaho law of the time.)

      I found an article from 2019 on East Idaho News. Apparently the sheriff and county prosecutor at the time believed that Creech was a danger to fellow inmates.

      Reportedly the other inmate, David Jensen, attacked Creech first. 

        Reveal hidden contents

      Court documents say David Dale Jensen attacked Thomas Creech with a sock filled with batteries.

      Creech was able to take the weapon away from Jensen, and it was that same weapon Creech would later use to beat Jensen to death.

      (clipped)

      Creech went on to claim self-defense in the incident, but the prosecution argued he went above and beyond self-defense.

      There are a lot more colorful details in that article than the more recent ones have had. Including Creech admitting to at least 26 murders, including some for "satanic cult worship rituals". It gave me the impression that Creech was really unstable, at least back in the 1980s. That isn't how his wife and prison friends describe him now, but I can't imagine trusting him, personally. 

      I was watching some YouTube videos of the Darrell Brooks trial today.  Both the judge and prosecutor described that fornicate stick Brooks as pure evil and a danger to the community - part of the reason he should die in prison or be subjected to the death penalty.  (Unfortunately Wisconsin doesn't have the death penalty).  As I said before an adult having to spend the rest of his or her life in prison is far worse than the early release they'd get if the state ended their lives, but I do believe there are a handful of crimes when the death penalty is warranted.  Both in the Brooks case and in the Creech case.

    • CaptainFunderpants

      Posted

      10 hours ago, postscript said:

      I get the impression the Bontrager marriages are semi-arranged. Marlin and the other patriarch decide two of their kids would be a good match, tell the kids to pray about each other as potential mates, and start planning the wedding. I don’t think Marlin would force his kids to marry anyone they didn’t get along with, but he sees parental approval as more important than romantic love. 

      I think they vary widely. John and Chelsy no, Mitchell and Bryn no, Denver and Praise no. Allison and Jeremiah, 100%; Carson and Lina 100%; and then Josh and Cass were gray area.

      According to a guest post they wrote on the Bont blog, Cassidy developed a crush on Josh while being told to pray about her sister and Carson, but Cass thought Josh was out of her league. Josh talks about being terrified to talk to Curtis about pursuing her, and appreciating not only her devotion to God, but her intelligence, playful personality, and joy.

      Taylor and Susanna also seem like gray area. Semi-arranged because of two sets of sibs already being married, but at the same time Taylor has Bible Bee money and Susanna is really pretty, and their wedding pics on Chelsy's blog show far more chemistry than Allison and Jeremiah, but less chemistry than Denver and Praise.

      I'll be curious to see their final three. The odds seem high that there'll be at least one more Bowers and one more Helferich match -there are just too many similar ages.

      • Upvote 1
    • JermajestyDuggar

      Posted

      First Candice Cameron and now Mel Gibson. It’s like they are trying to pose with actors I don’t like. Maybe next will be Gwyneth Paltrow. 

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      • Upvote 1
      • WTF 2
    • Howl

      Posted

      6 hours ago, hoipolloi said:

      And an endorsement from America's favorite fake historian:

      BillPOtterFakeHistorian.thumb.png.e61bafff049a3083b22f1dc635dadd6b.png

      He's a self styled historian,  "Bill has earned a well-deserved reputation as a man gifted in communicating the story of God’s providential hand in American history."

      His godly interpretations of the events at East Coast historic sites are more accurate than interpretive park rangers and actual trained  historians. His company is called Landmark Events.  I think he was big with Doug Phillips back in the day. 

      • Upvote 1
    • Antipatriarch

      Posted

      On 4/16/2024 at 1:34 PM, clueliss said:

      Bickle will be closing the organization's doors and opening a new, smaller organization.  (Because a name change will obscure the toxic, slimy ick no doubt)

      Another motivation was apparently to limit legal liability, but Julie Roys quotes Boz Tchividjian from GRACE:

      Quote

      Boz Tchividjian, an attorney who represents multiple Jane Does who’ve accused Bickle of clergy sexual abuse, told TRR that IHOPKC is in “fantasyland” if it thinks closing down and starting a new organization protects its assets from lawsuit. To try to do so would be “fraudulent,” Tchividjian said.

      In their latest communication they're telling their donors: We're not closing! We're just reorganizing. OK then. https://julieroys.com/embattled-ihopkc-still-asking-donations-denies-plans-close/

      • Thank You 3


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